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Thread: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

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    Veteran Member Mandy_Wood's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    To everyone who read my first post and anyone else interested:

    I finally managed to wrangle my boyfriend into a calm, grown up discussion about me becoming a stripper. Before, everytime I brought it up, a rage ensued with arms being thrown up in the air and yelling and "No! Absolutely not! I FORBID IT!!"
    Not fun.

    But, finally, he decided to act his age and we discussed all his concerns and my resolutions and reassurances. I was surprised that his biggest concern wasn't me getting naked and rubbing up on random strangers (altho, of course, it was present) but my happiness & self worth. He said he's been friends with strippers before that just hated their jobs and told him how degrading and damaging their jobs were for them. So I thought that was really sweet of him. So, he & I came up with a compromise. Let me know what you guys think of this:

    1.) Instead of working right away at a club, he wants me to work as waitress in a club for 90 days. So I can see & figure out how strip clubs work, really get a feel for everything, and have an outside perspective on the reality of stripping. In his words, "So you can see how fucked up everything actually is." He's convinced I really wouldn't be happy doing this for a living. But, I like his idea b/c as much as I think I would like it, things look much different from a different part of the club, I'm sure.

    2.) If, after the 90 days as a strip club waitress, I still have a burning desire to take my clothes off in front of people, I can have a go at amatuer night at, like, Deja Vu or something. I think that will be really fun . . .

    3.) If, after doing amatuer night, I still want to be a stripper, then, yes, he will let the issue go and I can dance as much as I please.

    I know alot of people are, like, "So, who cares what he thinks? He can't "not let" you do something." And they're right. He can't tell me what to do and I wouldn't let him. Even if he eventually decided that he wasn't going to allow this, I would seriously have to rethink our entire realtionship. But, I want him to be somewhat comfortable & reassured about my the choices I make, the exact same consideration I would want from him. So, yeah, that's the plan. Wish me luck!!

    Love,
    Mandy
    Quote Originally Posted by cherryripeboy View Post
    Remember they sent a ninja against robocop....





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    Veteran Member sensuality's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    Sounds pretty reasonable. I am glad you guys worked something out...90 days is a long time though. I just started dancing a couple weeks ago, and went through the same excact thing! We decided that he should go in, check out the club (which is very low mileage, and only topless on stage), and we'll see how I like it in a month. He said if he still can't deal with the though in a month, then we'll have to re-discuss things. o well, he seems way better with the situation now!
    Anyway, I am happy you got a comprimise out of him, I know they are quite difficult!

  3. #3
    Veteran Member Mandy_Wood's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    Yeah, I thought two months sounded more reasonable but when I tried to renegotiate that part, he started getting tantrumy about it so I let it go. I think it will all go well tho.

    Love,
    Mandy
    Quote Originally Posted by cherryripeboy View Post
    Remember they sent a ninja against robocop....





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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    I still think most boyfriends are mostly concerned, deep down, with safety. Said it once, will say it a million times here. It's not "I don't want her grinding," it's "I can't protect her." That is really tough for most men. It's a challenge to their manhood. Men think they are supposed to protect their women. They think SCs are these places where rapists and stalkers lurk. He doesn't want you to go there cuz he doesn't think he can protect you there, but, if he says that, he'll feel like a wimp. Men do not like to feel like wimps.

    If your boy thinks you're gonna run off, get a new one. He doesn't trust you. But, and this is far more likely, if he thinks an SC is dangerous, that's different.

    Here's why he likes the waitress compromise. You'll see, and be scared. So he hopes.

    The trick here to prove to him that the SC business is not dangerous to you if you dance. Wanna know what did that for me? This website. No kidding. I got to talk to all of these nice people, like none of whom had been carried away by custys and sold. They were even (GASP) married! (which was far scarier to me).

    Try showing him this. Maybe he'll relax. Worth a try.

    Siber
    "Maybe you'll ask me to come back again and
    Maybe I'll say.... Maybe"

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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    Hey im also in Seattle and dealing with the same thing my boyfriend "thinks" he'll be able to handle it if I become a stripper but i was thinking that waitress thing might help me get a feel for what goes on in strip clubs and would help me get a feel for what I would need to know. What strip club around here were you thinking about auditioning for?

  6. #6
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    I think its a good idea. There are ups and downs to any job, dancing is no exception. don't do into it expectiong to be like, see I told you so, expect to see a draining, but rewarding job. Also, in 90 days, season, by me is in full swing, so if it's the same by you, it's a great time to begin dancing.

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    Veteran Member sensuality's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    and yeah...working in a sc before you actually dance helps you get a feel for it...im under 21 so i couldn't really go in and check places out. So i got a bartending job at a club and worked there for a few months until i got some balls and auditioned (at a different club, the one I was bartending at was a dive). I think it really gave me a feel for the environment and helped boost my confidence!

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    Member jem_06's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    Sounds like a pretty good compromise. You both obviously love eachother so it's nice that the two of you are trying to find a solution. 90 days is a long time to waitress though, and I bet that you will start dancing before then.
    Here's just one more bit of advice:
    Your boyfriend is afraid of the unknown, so just ease his concerns as quickly as
    possible. Just have your boyfriend come visit you at the club when it's a real mellow shift--the more dead the place is the less likely he is to witness something that might make him feel uncomfortable. Introduce him to your dancer friends, and if you have a bouncer that you are friends with, be sure to introduce them. My b-friend was very hesitant and concerned at first for my safety but once I introduced him to the bouncers at the club he felt a lot better about it because he knows those guys would kick some a**for me if a custy was giving me trouble.
    Good luck and have fun!! You can do it!

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    "I forbid it"?????

    I know this is not my business, but that statement right there tells me a lot about what he thinks your relationship is like.

    I'd never stay in a relationship where someone felt they could forbid from doing something that is reasonable.

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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde
    "I forbid it"?????

    I know this is not my business, but that statement right there tells me a lot about what he thinks your relationship is like.

    I'd never stay in a relationship where someone felt they could forbid from doing something that is reasonable.
    Yup, thats the same thing I was thinking...







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    When I was 18 my girlfriend from college started dancing. I went to pick her up and was talking to one of the dancers and noticed she was weraing a wedding ring. I later asked my g.f. who would let their wife dance? She looked at me like I was really dumb and naive. I was. Now if a lover tried to stop me from dancing I'd run for the hills!!!
    The point I'm trying to make is this, This chick is only 20 so probably really cares what her b.f. thinks. In 5 years she'll get it.
    But, their compromise doesn't seem unreasonable.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Veteran Member Scout's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    90 days? Too long.

    Waitressing is completely different from stripping. IMO, waitresses put up with more sh-t for less money.

    I say, skip step one and do the amatuer contest. The contest for sure will give you a taste of what you are getting into.

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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    I would skip the waitressing>
    go to the amatuer night and shake it Baby!
    try dancing for a moth if you don't like it -- then quit!
    why having the trouble to serve drinks ?

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alright, so this is my boyfriend's compromise . . .

    don't be suprized if, after that 90 days, he's still pissed about you wanting to strip. there might be a good chance that he's hoping you'll get a job waitressing and then lose interest in dancing or be too freaked out to try it. the "compromise" might just be his way of letting it seem like he'll be ok with it in the future... while in the meantime he hopes you just lose interest in it.

    and as was said before... -nothing- you can do in the club will compare to dancing.

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