Mother of GOD! Why are the men (except Blade) on this thread being so mean to Lyssa Lynn? Do you KNOW how HARD it is to run away from a situtation where you feel intimately violated?
Mother of GOD! Why are the men (except Blade) on this thread being so mean to Lyssa Lynn? Do you KNOW how HARD it is to run away from a situtation where you feel intimately violated?
Girl , you were in shock and had been violated!!! Don't label yourself "weak." At least you had the courage to say something after you had time to process. I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope that guy gets fired and worse.
Of course not. They're men.Originally Posted by Scout





Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan
Well the only reason I have said nothing is that LM and
xbloodydewdropx, not to mention a few venerable others took the words from me before I could post them, and it sounds a lot better comming from a woman than a guy.
Lyssa Lynn, I don't agree with what that bastard did. I understand your shock, trust me there. If Blade took action I'm sure there is a way I could help, even if it were a save the Blade fund.
One more cup of coffee for the road,
One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
To the valley below....
Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
A Blogging?
I'm not blaming the victim, what this guy did was wrong. However, I just can't see lying there while someone does something like this. That's not blaming her at all, I just don't understand this "freezing" thing. Say something! I've been in the gym and had my shorts yanked down by a friend of mine as a joke. I didn't freeze, and pulled them up and threw a basketball at his head.
Maybe this is a guy-girl thing and that's why I don't get it, but I've also never been with a woman who wouldn't have raised hell over something like this. Jesus, the last girl Iwent out with would have kicked the guy in the nuts.
^^^^
I guess this is why many men don't understand how a woman can be raped, or in this case, sexually battered. Legally, that's what it is.
Have you ever been so shocked to the point where you can speak or move? All you're thinking about is, "Is this really happening? What's going on?" and your mind goes blank.
This just underscores what a shame this abuse of power is. I totally understand where you're coming from on this, Paris, and yet it just sucks for the many wonderful, talented, and highly ethical male LMT's out there. They really get the shitty end of the stick. Many women request female therapists, it's not uncommon at all - and many men ALSO request female therapists. Even if they're aware on a conscious level that the session is completely non-sexual, there's still some latent or subconscious homophobia of some sort (even if they're not bigots in anyway) that gets triggered. I really feel for the good guys sometimes.Originally Posted by Paris
And Blade, you are SO on! Quid pro quo! And I promise not to expose your bum or otherwise cross your boundaries. I know you'd kick my ass anyway!![]()
"Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins
"I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott





I would never discriminate a therapist for their sex. They could still be a lesbian who molestes you, y'know. Anyone can harm anyone, so why assume only a man will hurt you?
Look like a woman
Think like a man
Act like a lady
Work like a dog
- My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success





That will be some session lol![]()
Originally Posted by RoseWhite
Back to how women don't react quickly in questionable situations- women are conditioned to not "make waves." Urrrk. If you DO throw a fit when you need to, you are either a bitch or crazy.
A save Blade fund? That is an AWESOME idea!





I think that men can be the same as women in situations like this one - so I don't believe this is just reserved as a way a woman reacts - Ive seen many a women go balistic ! You should meet my Mom sometime lol ! She is the type who says what most of us merly think in our heads . I was overseas many years ago ( 13yrs old ) and this guy ( man to me ) comes and sits down next to me and starts trying to talk - he was an arab so his english was a little off . Next thing I know this guy is touching my leg - not by my knee more towards the crotch . It took a little to get over what exactly just happend and I got up and ran away . About 100yds later I started to get all pissed off about the whole ordeal and raced back to find him and punch him out . I never did find him or tell anyone . It can happen and I understand how you must feel although my experience was somewhat limited compared to what you went through . My first line of defense was to get away from it and my second reaction was rage .
Originally Posted by madmaxine





in an ideal world, everyone would stand up for their rights the minute any line is crossed. due to the power imbalances in certain healthcare situations, and the fear it generates, it just doesn't happen.
like someone said up there, the therapist is in a position of power, the girl is nekkid on the table and, if you've had a bazillion massages before without incident, you would give consent to what 'normally' happens - this doesn't include exposure and leg contortions. <<creepy
i've been lucky with my massage guy. however, on the other side, my husband won't go and get massages any more because of the 'extreme coverage' delivered by a massage therapist (female). he said it wasn't that the 'sack brushing' was particularly horrible for him, rather that he felt awkward because:
a) it was a day spa and he wasn't expecting it; and
b) he couldn't relax because he was paranoid she was going to start doing other things for which he hadn't signed up.
consent counts if you know what you're consenting to - otherwise it's just plain old assault. based on her previous experience, she would be consenting to a 'regular' massage.
just having to explain what happened is embarrassing and traumatic for a girl. the process for taking action doesn't make it easy. the reactions of some of the guys here shows why it's so difficult for girls to make claims like this. you expect professional behavior from a health care provider - this guy was just a creepy diddler.
i totally understand why you'd freeze - you were taken by surprise and his conduct was completely wrong.
Mr Hyde, I don't understand it either. I have been in all sorts of different situations and been able to stand up for myself. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I felt safe, I trusted that I was going to have a massage like the hundreds I've had in the past. I was in a reputable place, where I'd been a dozen times before. For 50 minutes prior to the breast exposure, I was taking deep breaths, focusing on relaxation, picturing a fucking babbling brook...far, far away from any place where I'd need to defend myself. I don't know..I can't explain it. I myself have yelled at women on TV, crying about having been taken advantage of. "Why didn't you say something", I'd scream... now, only now do I get how a person can just freeze. It isn't something I can explain to you and I hope you never experience it for yourself.Originally Posted by Mr Hyde
Everyone, again thank you very much for your support! The guy has now been fired. He did fess up to improper "draping technique" and is being reported to the Az Board of Massage Therapy. Thanks again!





Originally Posted by Mr Hyde
As has already been said, SHE WAS IN SHOCK. It's quite a common thing, to not be able to say or do anything in the moment due to being shocked. And, please keep in mind that different people react differently to situations. It's also different when a "friend" is joking around with you, than when some stranger is taking advantage of a rather vulnerable situation.
As for the topic, I got the feeling he was trying to offer some extras, rather than molest or take advantage. That whole "are you getting what you need?" thing is rather telling. Nonetheless, he was very inappropriate and unprofessional, and should NOT be allowed to keep his license, if he has one.
Sorry that happened hun.
Everyone acts differently in the same situations. Just because YOU'VE dated women who would have castrated him then and there, doesn't mean that every woman in the world would do the same.Originally Posted by Mr Hyde
The vast majority of women 'freeze' when something unexpected and scary to them happens...which is it is easy for women to be "knocked off kilter" to be raped/assualted...
I have to say, though, that the women who would jump up and do something have either been trained in some form of self-defense...or they've already been the victim of something like this in the past and so it's not new and they now know how to react.
So, just chill out.
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