Hey all... This is my first post, actually ran into this site rather by accident. I'm hoping I can get some good advice, both from an (unbiased / anonymous) female perspective as well as from a dancer's perspective.
My apologies on the length, but I want to get some solid opinions / advice - and I think it's important to know the whole story.
For starters, let me first say that I'm no dummy. I know that dancing is merely a gig for you women - and honestly, with the exception of my first (naive) time or two in a SC, I've never had any sort of foolish fantasies of having any kind of OTC relationship with a dancer, let alone getting her phone number, etc. From my perspective, I look at it as entertainment for myself, the paying customer, and see the dancers as the hard-working women who provide said entertainment. I try to be nice and generous, and enjoy tipping all club staff well, because I understand and respect that aspect of the service industry, in part, because I once had to work for tips ... I know what it's like. Maybe it sounds cheesy or cliched ... but that is me being as plain and honest as I can be.
That being said ... nearly a month and a half ago, I'd decided to go out, mostly on a whim, to a SC. Wasn't really getting many LD offers, and that was OK, until I caught a glimpse of this dancer, and we made some solid eye contact. So I ende up paying for ~10-12 LDs + tips (when I'm out, I like to have a good time!) .... Through the dances, we talked a fair bit and flirted - as I'd typically expect out of any LD, though it seemed like the conversation had more depth than I would have normally expected. At one point, I specifically commented on her beauty, which is completely out-of-character for me - but, I think, I was really just being honest, and nice, with no expectations. (The compliment was reciprocated as well, though I figured she was just being nice.) Well, by the time she was done dancing, it was closing time, and completely unsolicited, she ended up giving me her (real - ?) name and phone #. This has never happend to me before, and I've never even asked for either from a dancer before. Naturally, I was rather leery of the connotations / implications of this, and so was cautious and a bit nervous.
Nevertheless ... I figured there wasn't too much harm in trying to follow through and see what may happen - I should emphasize that I have zero desire for anything "extra" out of all of this, I just thought that there was a legitimate connection we shared - call it chemistry, a hunch, a crush, or just plain foolish, I'm not sure ... I felt like I had to at least pursue it and see if anything might come of it.
Anyhow, we ended up just texting a bit over a few days, until she called me out of the blue one evening. We end up making plans to meet OTC ... but when the time finally came to meet - she never showed. I was a bit annoyed (and upset) about that, but I figured it was definitely a risk, and I had chosen to take that risk. So I went about my way for a few weeks. A few weeks ago, though, I was in with some friends, and at the very end of the night, I saw her again, briefly. She recognized me and greeted me with a hug and a kiss, and told me (what I felt) was some story about how she lost her phone, and needed to replace it blah blah blah (I wasn't very convinced... but wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt - since I am I guess naive that way ).
But that being said, I couldn't get her out of my mind, and went back the following week. I saw her almost right after having walked in, and she greeted me with another hug. (Mind you, I'm still thinking, at this point, that it's all just a clever, if convincing, sales pitch) But this time, we ended up talking for quite a while (~30 minutes) with no dances, at which point she wanted to upsell and brought up the idea of spending time in the VIP room ... well, I was still on my guard, but we ended up there, and ended up talking for about half of the evening (a total of ~3 hours). [A side note: yes, I'm fairly sure she ended up making quite a bit of bank that night!]
Here's the thing though - the conversation that we shared didn't feel like it was fake (she'd mentioned the idea of meeting up OTC a couple of times). Granted, up until this point, I've pretty much been feeling like I've been suckered (though tremendously entertained) all the way ... but I think she felt similarly as well. It's hard to be sure, of course, but like I said, I'm no dummy, and I tend to think that spotting out the BS from the legit is generally fairly easy. Granted, I'm 26, and may well still be young, dumb, and full of the other stuff .... but, I'd like to think I'm not quite *that* stupid any more
Anyway, she insisted that I try to call her again, so that she could have my number, and that she was trying to get her phone situation resolved (still the same story
)
OK ... almost done. So that was a week ago. I went back in this past Friday night - but this time, I went in with one purpose. I had to find out whether or not she was legitimately interested in me (and not just as a wealthy customer!) - that is to say, whether or not she was interested in pursuing any OTC contact with me. I neatly wrote down my contact info on a slip of paper, and left that in my wallet.
I didn't see her for the first hour and a half I was there. She ended up walking my way and saw me, and said hello. This time, she spent even less time dancing for me. We talked for nearly an hour and a half or so, and the flavor of the conversation was what one would typically expect from a first-date type of experience. At the end of the evening, I explained to her very honestly that I did not want to give her the wrong idea about me. I was not interested in "extras" or anything, but that I felt that there was a legitimate connection between us. I asked her how much of our friendship (if it can be called that) was business vs. 'pleasure' - and she said probably a bit of both. But she again stated that she that she would like to see me OTC, and that she really liked me and told me how I was really down-to-earth and how I wasn't like most of her other customers ( ...... still had to give her the benefit of the doubt). So this time, I said, quite simply, "Look, I'd love to meet up with you for dinner or maybe coffee outside of the club, so please call me." I gave her the slip of paper with my contact info and paid and tipped her. We hugged, and kissed (on the lips - we'd done this the last time I was in as well), and then I left.
So there it is. I really feel that there is some chemistry between us. I can understand that she may be equally cautious about approaching me, because she has no idea what kind of weirdo I may turn out to be. But I felt all through that this was one of those rare moments where you meet someone you feel like you have really connected with, and you have to find out if it's real or not.
OK - now for the brutal reality. Take off my rose-colored glasses! Tell me if I'm being foolish here - if she's really interested in me, why hasn't she called me yet? Is the "phone" story just a ruse? Is she maybe just cautious or nervous?
Bottom line: should I try and pursue this as more than just "business"? I'm so confused and torn, and end up thinking myself in circles about this. I really am just a pretty what-you-see-is-what-you-get kinda guy, and I don't want to waste my time or energy in getting too invested.



) But this time, we ended up talking for quite a while (~30 minutes) with no dances, at which point she wanted to upsell and brought up the idea of spending time in the VIP room ... well, I was still on my guard, but we ended up there, and ended up talking for about half of the evening (a total of ~3 hours). [A side note: yes, I'm fairly sure she ended up making quite a bit of bank that night!]
Anyway, she insisted that I try to call her again, so that she could have my number, and that she was trying to get her phone situation resolved (still the same story
)
... still had to give her the benefit of the doubt). So this time, I said, quite simply, "Look, I'd love to meet up with you for dinner or maybe coffee outside of the club, so please call me." I gave her the slip of paper with my contact info and paid and tipped her. We hugged, and kissed (on the lips - we'd done this the last time I was in as well), and then I left.
Reply With Quote
Mixing the two does complicate things enormously IMHO



Bookmarks