Results 1 to 20 of 20

Thread: Attending a family wedding :-\

  1. #1
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Attending a family wedding :-\

    OK next weekend, my cousin is getting married and my family is invited to the wedding. Out of courtesy, I agreed to go along with my family but I am a little worried. For one thing, the wedding just happens to be on a Saturday night, so I'm going to have to work all week long because I'll be missing one of the best nights of the week moneywise. For another, I'm going to have to take on a completely different personality again. My family is rather strict and close-minded, and among the things they don't know about my life include:
    1) that I'm a dancer
    2) that I've had breast implants for over a year now
    3) I drink and smoke more than they'd be happy with...and that's considering that I don't really even drink that much, except if someone buys me a drink at work!
    4) I like to date guys and do more in the way of "fooling around" than my family approves of
    5) my brand-new Mustang is MY car, not my ex-boyfriend's car like my dad thinks

    So now I'm going to have to wear a sweaty prudish turtleneck and chest-compressing sports bra, whereas most people will probably be wearing sundresses and summer blouses! I'm going to have to spend a small amount of time this week rehearsing my lies, such as lying about how many cars I have, where I work, what drinks I make at my "bartending job," etc. I HATE LYING and I am an honest person by nature. Hells, I'm one of those girls at work who is pretty straightforward with customers and although I don't reveal too much personal info, I also don't put on a big fake act. But when I'm around my family, I have to lie and look somewhat shady, or else they will find out that I dance/drink/have sex/have implants and my reputation with them will be scarred. I lie to my family probably more than anyone else, except maybe for obnoxious customers who piss me off to the point that I feel a secret revenge lying about little things(what country I'm from, how long I've worked at a club, etc) and getting away with it. When I was honest about things they disapproved of in the past, they overreacted and did bad shit that ruined my life, like cutting off my college money, banning me from Christmas dinner, or kicking me out of the house.

    So now I am worried about how I am going to have fun, or not look shady/mysterious, around my family at the wedding. It's moreso my immediate family(my dad and siblings) than my cousins or others whom I rarely see anymore. But even with them, I have to make sure I tell consistent lies about my jobs or cars, or it will get back to my dad and he'll think I'm a liar. Is it best for me to keep up the facade? Any suggestions for clothing that will be cool for hot summertime, but not show off my boobs? Dammit, weddings are usually a fun time and a great way to meet potential dates/hook-ups, but my game is going to be spoiled by having to look and act a certain way! Does anyone else play this game with their family, having to act prudish or lie about jobs just to avoid disappointing them?

  2. #2
    Sitri
    Guest

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    “Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive”

  3. #3
    Member pixie183's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2006
    Location
    uk
    Posts
    28
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    I can't tell my family about my job either, so they think I work in a bar and that my boyfriend, who has never brought me anything more expensive than a pair of jeans, has paid for my new Vespa!

    I had a similar situation at a family wedding last year and was actually suprised that a lot of my aunts and uncles treated me as a grown-up for once (I still get put at the kids table at Christmas at 22!) and I had fun, I went out with some cousins my age I hadn't seen since I was little and they had a lot of stuff to hide too so we had a laugh about that so you may be suprised!

    Good luck whatever you decide, x

  4. #4
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    606
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    Go with the sundress... If someone has the lack of class to bring up your boobs at someones wedding... then just calmly tell them, you had a late puberity and you would rather not discuss something so personal...

  5. #5
    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Vancouver, WA/Portland, OR
    Posts
    2,165
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    or just tell them it's a new victoria secret bra that adds many cup sizes! lol





    Now selling Platinum Stages Poles!
    Order through me & get a FREE instructional video!



    "Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from." Jodie Foster

  6. #6
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    in yer bum
    Posts
    3,827
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 12 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    Yeah I'd go for the sundress too, hell my old roommate had NO boobs, (like, think not even a double a) and around her 19th or 20th birthday all of a sudden they grew to large c's. And they're completely real. Bitch. lol. And, if you aren't happy lying, then don't lie. It may cause problems, but it'll protect your sanity.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  7. #7
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    7,772
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 40 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    Yea, if it's warm and everyone's in dresses... I think they'd notice your turtleneck, lol! Can't you get one that you can still wear the sportsbra with? Or, just go with the pushup bra... and act offended if anyone brings up the size of your boobs.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  8. #8
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    Maybe a tube dress or something like this
    http://www.bluefly.com/pages/product...&Nu=Product+ID
    with the top half of the dress with that criss cross cut or a wrap dress. Both hide big boobies.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  9. #9
    God/dess
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    2,352
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    How long are you going to hide who you are ? I think you are a very dynamic individual and shouldnt hide the real you from family . They dont need to know everything but the sports bra deal and such is just a little much to me . They may be hurt more if they find out through other sources later . I know it must be tough for you good luck .

  10. #10
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    Quote Originally Posted by PhillyDancer1982
    1) that I'm a dancer
    2) that I've had breast implants for over a year now
    3) I drink and smoke more than they'd be happy with...and that's considering that I don't really even drink that much, except if someone buys me a drink at work!
    4) I like to date guys and do more in the way of "fooling around" than my family approves of
    5) my brand-new Mustang is MY car, not my ex-boyfriend's car like my dad thinks
    1) It's a cover for your top secret Pope-Given charge as a stripper evangelist. You lure the wicked and tormented into a 4x4 cube and grind god's heavenly light into them until they repent and take the lord back into their hearts and make a healthy donation averaging out to about 25/song. To be the best Exorcist, sometimes you have to be what your are seeking to purge.

    2) You blossomed late, and then, you blossomed again. The scars you got from crawling through the trenches in Nam. (If they're visible). And anyone who hates you for protecting this country is a commie!

    3) Only there to make you more convincing at your job. For added creativity, tell her "The alcohol fuels the junk in my trunk"

    4) Are they really going to find this out? Or is this assumed. If this is something you actually are afraid of telling them, you need to introduce your mouth to a staple gun. However if they ask about it, tell them "The lord works in mysterious ways"

    5) You made your 25 thousand converted men quota. It's a reward. God rewards those who are loyal.

    Trump Card: You're a ninja. Don't ask questions mom. People die when they ask questions.

    People are not ruled by their memories.

  11. #11
    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Richmond, Virginia
    Posts
    3,019
    Thanks
    90
    Thanked 193 Times in 107 Posts

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    Just my opinion......


    How long do you keep this up? I tried to hide my job from my folks, lasted about 2 weeks. My parents are ok with my job, my extended family knows what I do for a living but I don't discuss it with them. I know that they're not comfortable with my job choice but they still accept me for who I am as a person.

    There comes a point and time when we have to be our own person and people have to accept us forwho we are. If you've been keeping this from your family and they haven't caught on your job hasn't changed you as a person. When you feel right, and it may not be now, tell them and let them know that you are still the sameperson you were.

    Good Luck with what yoy decide to do.

  12. #12
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    It's not my mom involved, I don't have one, it is my dad and he is overprotective of me at times. My dad is aware that if anything, I was an early bloomer who got pimples and my period early on, and my boobs not growing was just bad genes, bad luck, etc. I still am baffled at how my mom and grandmother had full Cs, and my kid sister surpassed me when she was in middle school, yet I stopped at As. Also, my boobs have a kinda roundish fake look when I wear a tight top or an underwire bra with a low-cut top. You guys are right though, that someone would be offensive and at fault if they talk about my boob size.

    The biggest thing I'm concerned about, is that I do not want my financial situation to look like it "blossomed" so quickly, to the point that my dad starts suspecting that I dance, deal drugs, prostitute, etc. My family was well aware of the rock-bottom crappy financial situation I was in 1.5yrs ago. Fuck, back when my mom was still around, she was so mad at me for not having a decent job or anything go right in my life, that she bought copies of my employment/background/credit reports and added up how much credit card debt I had! So how can I go from owing thousands upon thousands of dollars, to getting a brand-new Mustang, a classic VW on the side, a nice apartment with expensive furniture, paying back my college tuition, AND getting a boob job? Amongst other things too, such as paying all my past debt down to zero? OK I could use a "restaurant job" to explain paying off past debt, paying college tuition, and getting the VW, but that's about it. As for the Mustang, I'd initially told my parents that my at-time boyfriend and I went in on it together, and that I'd gotten a really good price & APR because of my boyfriend. In reality, I went for the car all by myself. Then when we broke up and I got the VW, I told my dad that my now-ex was taking over the Mustang's payments by himself, and that I had a car of my own so I wasn't worried about the Mustang. I just don't want my family to think I'm doing too well, financially, and start suspecting.

    Maybe I can find a compromise with the clothing...I really don't want to pass up a good socializing opportunity(and on a Saturday night! when I could be hanging with friends or making $ at work!), because I feel obligated to dress like a librarian. I don't know...good thing I have a few days to decide...but I might actually get a restaurant job soon too, so maybe my lies will turn into the truth! As weird as this sounds, that kinda thing has happened MANY times before...

  13. #13
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    7,772
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 40 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    I totally know what you're going through. I'd suggest bringing them up to par (or, at least to a certain point) slowly... If you're not doing that already. Pick the easiest issue and bring it to the surface... Do it one at a time. I'd actually suggest telling them about the boobs. They do NOT need to know about your sex or private life anymore than they can handle... but they might have already noticed your boobies... Good luck! <mental hug>
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  14. #14
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    Wear what you want. Drive the VW. Don't volunteer anything. If they ask if you had your breasts done, say yes. If they ask how you could afford it, say they had good financing or you won them in a radio contest (Howard Stern used to give away breast implants all the time and probably still does). They don't need to know about your nice apartment, the Mustang, or anything else that isn't immediately visible.

  15. #15
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Location
    House of Aion
    Posts
    8,074
    Thanks
    7,881
    Thanked 5,705 Times in 2,127 Posts
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    I know what you're going through because I have vindictive parents. They're the kind of people you tell the truth to and they don't simply disapprove, they do something extremely vindictive to cut you off from vital financial and emotional support. It's not protectiveness, it's controlling behavior. I couldn't figure out why your rants were so familiar but I see they're like my rants at your age. You have to weigh how much abandonment you are prepared to accept. The more honest you are, the more rejection you'll get (at least from your father). Problem is the only way you'll grow the strong backbone you want is to start standing up for who you are--regardless of the almost certain vindictive backlash. Good Luck philly!

  16. #16
    Veteran Member Rockette's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Location
    everywhere
    Posts
    632
    Thanks
    87
    Thanked 40 Times in 30 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    I was in the same shoes as you at one point. My father is also very strict, opinionated, and close minded, and I feared telling him for about 2 years. I'm glad I finally did though, but he also didn't talk to me for 2 months after I did tell him about my real occupation. Things are better now, although he still refuses to talk to me at all about work, and I know better than to reveal it in front of any other relatives. My parents have been in financial hardship for about 5 or 6 years now, and I know it would make their lives even more difficult with other family members as well.

    It's a tough situation, but the sooner you tell your father the truth, the better. You will not regret it. Good luck hun.
    Isocrates: “Democracy destroys itself because it abuses its right to freedom and equality. Because it teaches its citizens to consider audacity as a right, lawlessness as a freedom, abrasive speech as equality, and anarchy as progress.”

  17. #17
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    OK I decided that I will never tell my father or family about dancing. If someday one of my younger sisters contemplates going into dancing, I might confide in her about my dancing experiences, but that is unlikely. But my dad would never understand. Besides, I have some job ideas for the near future and if everything pans out decently, I might even quit dancing soon. By that point, dancing will already have been "water under a bridge" and there'd be no point to bring it up to my dad. So I think I'm gonna wait it out, because it shouldn't be too much longer until I will hopefully be working at the type of restaurant that I lied to my dad about working in. And I'm not hoping to work at a restaurant just to please my dad, but for other reasons too.

    HOWEVER I might wear something a little more revealing than I was planning. My dad might not notice my boobs because well, boobs are something that fathers don't normally focus on when it is their daughter. Whereas if my mother was still around, she might notice the size difference a little more. If anything, it could be contributed to a push-up bra, not necessarily the result of implants. I'll wear something form-fitting, but with a higher neckline so that they can't see my pornstar-ish super-round cleavage.

    Although years ago, my dad DID notice the size difference of my boobs...lol when I was 16 years old, I went on a date with a really hot guy so I wore a tight shirt that made my boobs look a lot bigger than my usual shirts. Plus, I wore this underwire semi-push-up bra underneath because it was the only bra that I could wear under the slinky-knit shirt without creating wrinkles or lines. After I left with my date, my dad commented to my mom, "Did she stuff her bra??" but I hadn't, it was a combination of the bra I wore and the tight shirt. I was insulted that my dad would think so low of me, I've never stuffed my bra, even during times that I really should have. But yeah...so now I'm getting a little worried that my dad might tell relatives that at the wedding if he thinks I look bigger...

    Optimist, you are totally right and your perceptions are right on the money. You read my family situation like a book! I agree, that your family experiences sound very similar to mine, and it does contribute to my overall attitude/outlook on life today. I'll tell you more in a PM later on. To everyone else, thanks for the advice. I am not sure if I can be ballsy enough to follow all of it and come clean about dancing, but I might eventually come clean about the boobs or the Mustang, over time.

    It's situations like these, that make me glad that I live on my own and so far away from my family. It keeps them from prying into the parts of my life that they really don't want to know about. But then again, I do want to be closer to my family, so I am going to have to start telling the truth, or else living my life in a fashion more conforming to my familys' expectations...I might try a compromise between both of those options.

  18. #18
    madmaxine
    Guest

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    (The art of BS-ing & fibbing)- if something like your bosom is brought up, look stunned and ask why anyone would care. Seriously, that day they should all be looking at the bride.
    How have you been supporting yourself? You're one sharp waitress. (PS My waitressing cousin made about the same as I did from dancing. She wore a long-sleeved shirt, tie & slacks & I wore nothing. Life sure is funny, ain't it?)
    You're worried too much. Even if you weren't a dancer your family would find something to have an opinion about. Pat yourself on the back for supporting yourself & finishing school all on your own, & enjoy life. Have fun at the wedding!

  19. #19
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    Yeah, I'll try to have fun. As far as waitressing goes...the scenario where your waitress cousin made equal money as you dancing, is the reason that I am looking to get into waitressing and ween myself away from dancing soon. There are many reasons for it. I might still dance 2 shifts/week alongside waitressing, political volunteering(which only lasts until early November, though), and another job that I am starting which hopefully I will not mess up. There are aspects that I really like about dancing, such as dressing up and looking/acting very seductive, so I might still dance a little bit, but at least it will not be my Primary Source of Income and I will have a "normal" job to use as a work reference or tell people about.

    To become more honest about my life with my family, I can either:
    1.) Confess to them about dancing.
    2.) Start living the life that I would not feel bad telling my family about, such as actually waitressing and not just talking about it.
    I'm thinking about the second idea.

    Well anyways, my dad DOES believe that I'm a waitress and bartender-in-training, and he commented that I "make good money." A fine dining waitress/bartender's wages can easily justify being able to afford breast implants or new cars...after all, my one friend got implants and she's NEVER danced, only bartended and waitressed. HOWEVER the problem is, my dad is aware that last year I was buried in debt, and it would just sound too unbelievable for me to unbury myself from that debt, AND get a lawyer, AND implants, all within the first five months of becoming "employed." It's such a sad mess...

  20. #20
    Veteran Member Rockette's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Location
    everywhere
    Posts
    632
    Thanks
    87
    Thanked 40 Times in 30 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Attending a family wedding :-\

    I hear you, sometimes being entangled in your own lies gets you into more trouble with your family though, which is what happened with me. Just concentrate on having a fun time at the wedding instead of worring about it. Weddings are always a blast!
    Isocrates: “Democracy destroys itself because it abuses its right to freedom and equality. Because it teaches its citizens to consider audacity as a right, lawlessness as a freedom, abrasive speech as equality, and anarchy as progress.”

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 18
    Last Post: 01-12-2011, 10:39 AM
  2. My family just ruined my wedding (long)
    By Elvia in forum Life Support
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 09-26-2010, 12:41 PM
  3. YEK-Help Nervous attending swingers club in L.A.!!
    By goldengrl69 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 11-13-2007, 02:37 PM
  4. Need family advice--asshole cousin dissed me from her wedding
    By PhillyDancer1982 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 11-21-2006, 03:32 PM
  5. Who's attending the June 4th DancerWealth Seminar?
    By fancygirl in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 06-06-2006, 08:31 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •