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Thread: Alcohol abuse question

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    Alcohol abuse question

    Welp...I think I have an alcohol problem that's more than blacking out. The whole summer I've been drinking heavily till the point of stumbling and more, spending alot of money on alcohol and not being around for nights I'd like to remember. For example, last night in Hollywood I had 4-5 drinks that I can remember and the rest were shots and other drinks. Other nights, I drink 3-5 drinks and I'm done; I don't have to or want to drink anymore that night. I just see it becoming a bigger problem that's ready to snowball down a big hill.

    Thing is I don't know why I drink or drink so much. I know I drink at home when I feel down and I'm very social around people sober. For those who have had alcohol problems how did you find out why you drank so much?
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    I've never had an alcohol problem, but I used drugs in the past. They were a way to numb pain and avoid dealing with issues. Is there anything that you can identify that is bothering you? When you next get the urge to drink, try writing down what you feel, or talk to a friend...perhaps attend a meeting (although that might be a bit drastic)...this will help you ID the root causes. Or do artwork if your feelings are too abstract to articulate. Most of all, take care when drinking because you black out so easily....please stay safe .

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    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    i have a problem similar to yours...i drink daily, and alot, but im trieng to cut down. ive humiliated myself around my boyfriend and his friends so many times, they think im a crazy bitch!!! im surprised my boyfriend is still even with me!

    i always drink heavily when i have trouble going on in my life, so for me its obvious why i have an alcohol problem. i get depressed really easy. actually now its to the point where i drink heavily even when im not depressed just because my body has built some sort of dependence on it, kind of like people who are addicted to cigerettes.

    im trieng to cut myself down because alcohol takes a big tole on your body and mind...ive been a heavy drinker for a long time. you need to start getting that shit under control now because it will take you over so fast without you even realizing it.

  4. #4
    missalovelady
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    I drink heavily at work or in social atmospheres to losen up,but I just dont know when to stop.I am more outgoing drinking and have more fun until I get past a point of too many.At my work we have to sell drinks.I sell in large quantities,but not for the money but to make me not feel weird I guess.

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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    Drinking started out as fun and for most purposes it was someones party or a celebration special occasion . It morphed into any reason if I was depressed or happy or a specail occ. It took a long time to stop 30yrs actually - ya I actually started sneeking booze at 11 . I drank for any reason including the wrong ones , and my tolerance level was to a point that most of you would of probably died if you drank what I did on a Friday night - scarry I know . I wanted to keep that buzz that I got when I first threw a couple down but found it rather challenging and ended up dumb ass drunk ! It did ease my social tension and made it easier to be around people I did know and didnt know ,hmmm strange . If you even think you have a problem stop now dont think that you will just cut down to a couple and be good - it won't work . Your young and you are at a very very important juncture in your life if you decide the wrong road now you will most likely be telling someone else your bad story down the road .My life turned out very well and I still wonder how it did - I was lucky . This isnt just a bunch of bullshit internet ramble its true and I do care about your future .

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    Featured Member Lola Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    I have had a problem with alcohol since I was about 19 (that's almost 10 years btw). I was at a bar drinking underage with some college friends and was slipped "roofies" into one of my drinks. I was brutally raped that night by some guys that had some "pull" with the city government/socialites. I was basically advised not to press any charges. Instead I packed up and left the state.

    Ever since then, when I consume too much alcohol I get very sexually agressive and my "alter-ego" comes out. I feel, in the moment of insobriety, strong and in-control; although in reality I am quite the opposite. 9 times out of 10 when I drink alcohol I am able to "stop" myself and know when to say when, but it is that 1 time out of 10 that I get stubbling, stupid, blackout drunk. I never know when it is going to happen. It could happen when I've had only 3 drinks or 12. So, for that reason, I realize that it could be that one time that I get so drunk, something very screwed up could happen and it would change (or end) my life forever.

    I am very close to being on the path of not drinking at all anymore. Especially since I don't seem to be able to determine (or control) when I am going to get drunk. Although, there is nothing finer than a nice glass of Cabernet, my problem is the glass turns into a bottle or two. It's best not to take the risk at all, it's not worth it.




    "Go Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams...Live the Life You Have Imagined" -- Henry David Thoreau

    "You Will Be Successful in Business and Married Life" -- Fortune Cookie

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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    It doesn't matter why, right now; that's something you can worry about later. What's more important to your immediately safety and well-being is that you find some help and a way to stop.

    Also--why might just be the way you're programmed; a lot of alcoholics are genetically predisposed to be so.

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    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    I agree with Susan^ You have plenty of time to delve into your triggers and underlying reasons why you drink, the important thing is to get some help now.

    I don't think going to a 12 step meeting is a drastic step, either, it's an option. Just like rehab or therapy. The important thing is to reach out to to someone somewhere for help. For me, it took a combination of the three to get my alcoholism under control.

    Finding out you're an alcoholic is not the end of the world. It's nothing to be ashamed of- it's a chronic disease that is manageable.

    Also for the person that said they feel physically dependent on alcohol- like cigarettes- I would seriously look into getting into a facility to detox if you are trying to wean yourself off off alcohol. You can die from alcohol withdrawal- it's the only withdrawal you can die from. I've seen it happen before.

  9. #9
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    Um. Excuse me. You're in Hollywood and we haven't gotten together to say hello?

    Everyone else's advice is great.

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    Veteran Member Scout's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    Before alcohol dominates your life, attend an AA meeting. They are held everywhere at every hour of the day. If it's 4 am and you are feeling down and wondering if you should drink, there is an AA meeting somewhere in Hollywood.

    I strongly recommend AA because a support system of people who are or have been in the same boat will help you understand why you are drinking.

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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    Thank you for all the replies. Many were very sincere. Maybe it really doesn't matter why I drink afterall. I just have a really bad feeling that somehow I will end up in Lola Lee's type of situation in which I'm really very sorry you had to go through that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Lee
    Ever since then, when I consume too much alcohol I get very sexually agressive and my "alter-ego" comes out. I feel, in the moment of insobriety, strong and in-control; although in reality I am quite the opposite. 9 times out of 10 when I drink alcohol I am able to "stop" myself and know when to say when, but it is that 1 time out of 10 that I get stubbling, stupid, blackout drunk. I never know when it is going to happen. It could happen when I've had only 3 drinks or 12. So, for that reason, I realize that it could be that one time that I get so drunk, something very screwed up could happen and it would change (or end) my life forever.
    Youre paragraph describes me to a "T".

    Are there any other places that isn't a 12 step program and just a place to talk about alcohol abuse? Do I have to be in AA to go? Im afraid to actually go to an AA meeting. I would feel so ashamed eventhough avacheetahs said I shouldnt be. Thinking in my head - "God, I'm at an AA meeting what the hell just happened to me?"
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Featured Member Lola Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk
    Are there any other places that isn't a 12 step program and just a place to talk about alcohol abuse? Do I have to be in AA to go? Im afraid to actually go to an AA meeting. I would feel so ashamed eventhough avacheetahs said I shouldnt be. Thinking in my head - "God, I'm at an AA meeting what the hell just happened to me?"
    Group Counseling. You may need to see an individual therapist in order to get referred though. It should be covered under insurance if you have it.

    You can also probably find online forums similar to SW that discuss alcohol/substance abuse. There are many people that either aren't ready or don't necessarily need to define themselves as an "alcoholic".




    "Go Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams...Live the Life You Have Imagined" -- Henry David Thoreau

    "You Will Be Successful in Business and Married Life" -- Fortune Cookie

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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    If you go to an AA meeting you don't have to do anything but sit there. I went to one once when I was looking for Al Anon (for family of alcoholics) and I didn't know I was in the wrong meeting and just sat down and listened. I felt really at peace when I left even though I was in the wrong place.

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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    One of my relatives used to go. Apparently there's women's only AA groups that she went to, she said she felt more comfortable and safe opening up in that setting so you may also want to look into the female AA groups. Although like FrustratedBunny has said, you don't need to open up or even speak if you don't want to.

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    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    You don't have to be a member of AA to attend a meeting. Just make sure it's listed as an open meeting. Anyone can go to an open meeting you don't have to be an alcoholic. When they ask you to introduce yourself by your first name at the beginning, you don't have to. It may not be right for you, it's not for everyone, and it sure is hard to walk through the door the first time. I didn't really have a choice I was in such bad shape when I started going.

    I stuck around though and became more comfortable over time. There's something comforting about being in a room full of people who know exactly what I've been through. One of the best things about AA or other 12 step programs is that they are free, and it doesn't matter where you are in the world, you can find a meeting.

  16. #16
    smartcookie
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    Hi Tiger -

    I can't deny that AA does great things for a lot of people, but as an atheist and anti-authoritarian girl I was really turned off by its culty, "higher power" bent.

    I know that there are programs out there that are alternatives to AA such as , but I haven't attended any of their meetings. I would avoid the Rational Recovery program as they deny that genes or upbringing have anything to do with alchoholism and I think that's total bullshit.

    Personally I've never blacked out; I just rely too much on alcohol for social situations or relaxation. I've done some research and it seems that alcohol has a unique effect on women & dopamine levels. There's a scientist that thinks that a niacin deficiency has to do with alcoholism. Do some Google searches and you'll find more information on that.

    There are medications for alcohol abuse. A new one is called Campral, another is called naltrexone. Both reduce alchohol cravings but don't eliminate them entirely.

    Then there's Antabuse, which is a very harsh method. It makes you sick to your stomach when you consume alcohol. Even a drop in a meal cooked with wine or brandy or rinsing your mouth with mouthwash makes you sick to your stomach for hours.

    Have you seen a therapist or psychiatrist? What do they say?

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    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    ^ I agree that AA and other 12 step programs are for people that want it, not people that need it.

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    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    Without getting too psychological, it could just be that you feel the need to always have a drink in hand. Could it be as simple as trying to have a cup of water between every drink or two? For me personally, I notice that if I don't have a drink in hand, I feel like people may view me as stand-offish, or 'holier-than-thou', so I tend to drink more than I intend. So the water thing has worked for me before anything has gotten out of hand.

    Whatever it is, just be careful. People can be scum and they know how to take advantage of overly drunk beautiful women such as yourself.






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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    * a mini update *Well, its after my birthday and my drunkness cost me a $300 camera. Which was my moms and Im replacing.... I just think things could have been worse.

    Im cleaning my house instead of drinking at home. Finally, working out with a trainer next week. Stopped going out 3 times a week to now one that involves drinking. Its hard because I want to see my party friends and get drunk like usual but I figure things wont change unless I want them too. So, saying"no" to a night of drinking is better for me in the long run. Oh yea and no more whole bottles of wine to myself anymore.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  20. #20
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk
    Its hard because I want to see my party friends
    Careful with that, TM. People and places are powerful triggers. During my last abstinence period--lasted 6 months--I was shocked how badly my friends (not just the barfly acquaintances) treated me. So much teasing, so much peer pressure: "Come on, man! Have a drink. You know you want one!" Thankfully, because in my "maturity" I'm more confident about my choices, I didn't waver. But I did ultimately stop going out with these folks; it became that annoying. I can handle a diet coke at a bar without a problem. But you'll be shocked how many friends (and, yeah, sometimes strangers) give you a hard time.

    Finally, can't say enough about exercise as a technique to stay on the wagon. Nothing more revolting than trying to work out with a hangover. So schedule exercise on the mornings after traditional "party" nights--for me it's a Bikram yoga class on Saturday morning.

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    Veteran Member bella du jour's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    I used to be a daily drinker, a drink-by-myselfer, and a black out drinker. I would drink and become reckless with money, overly hostile (though I thought it was just "being cute") and tremendously slutty. Hah, well the slutty part wasn't sooo bad.

    I drank because it had a shitty day, or because I had a great day. I drank because I was bored, or because I was stressed out. There's always a reason to drink, in fact I ought to be drinking right now because I'm stuck in this cubicle until 5pm and it's a beautiful day outside. And then once I go home I should drink because it's 5:15 on a friday and I need to cut loose. Blah. When my boyfriend was bedridden with a terrifying and mysterious illness... and instead of taking care of him I drank because he was sleeping and I was bored (boy did I feel like an ass when I accidentially locked myself out of his apartment and he had to let me back in at 2am).

    I hit bottom when I realized that the alcohol had more control than I did. I had no control over the way I drank, or what happened to me when I did. I was hurting people I loved, and acting like a horrible person. I quit because I no longer wanted to be that awful girl.

    Ironically I didn't quit when I was raped, or when I dropped out of school, or when I was living hand to mouth. I quit after I had gotten my life back together despite drinking, but found that no matter how functional I seemed to be on the outside, inside I was a mess.

    If you can relate to my experiences, perhaps you should cosider quitting.

    I had to quit several times before I "got it right", and quitting for just a month or two is always an option. I went to meetings for the first 30 days, and haven't felt the need since.

    Becoming sober meant I had to stop hanging out with certain people and I had to relearn certain social skills - it was painful and embaressing at times. Most people were understanding, and when people gave me a hard time I just let my righteous anger at their ignorance drown out the alcoholic apologist inside of me.

    Hope you find your solution to this problem, every addict (if that's what you are) has to make their own recovery... though there are 100,000's of people willing to help if you need it.

    xox

    B




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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    Thanks for the story bella du jour. I can relate to you on some things. Like drinking when youre bored or cutting lose just because. Drinking because its Columbus day and so on... dumb reasons.
    I like to spend alot of time at home. So Ive been cleaning and decorating and cooking as well instead of drinking. No more wine with dinner. I dont know if I'll slip up and I hope I wont. Just doing things to keep my mind off like tennis and a whole other array of things.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Member MissFoxxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alcohol abuse question

    Browsing this old thread, I am working on going sober right now, which is challenging when you work in a bar where men are offering you free drinks all night But I wanted to share the program I have been using, SMART recovery, http://www.smartrecovery.com It's a non 12-step program that is about self-motivation and actualization, very different from AA. I am just getting started but thought I would share, a good friend gave me the reference as an AA alternative
    former stripperweb user trishaxxxo

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