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Thread: Middle-age spread

  1. #1
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Middle-age spread

    so i'm looking over at my husband on his laptop and notice that someone is getting a bit of a pot happening. being a leo, he's not the kind too take too well to anyone saying anything negative about his appearance, so i don't say anything.

    he doesn't exercise these days for all the usual reasons... stressed, tired, too busy etc. it may be true, but he also eats like he's still exercising. any hint that i may be trying to use low-fat things, or lowering his calories is met with narrowed eyes...

    naturally, i don't want to be that stereotypical wife that fattens up the husband, nor a know-it-all nag about low-fat things. i try really hard not to... i guess the difference is that i'm still out there doing the crunches and miles...

    he still likes hot dogs and bacon like most guys, yet he used to cycle miles to burn it off. i see a slippery slope...

    i love him to bits - and he could probably pork up with many more pounds before i found him unattractive, so i'm wondering... how do you encourage a leo male to get out there and move their ass again without getting bitten by the lion's fangs?

    ideas?

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Rockette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    What about working out with him? Either that or get an excercise bike and a pole, and pole dance for him as long as he keeps exercising.
    Isocrates: “Democracy destroys itself because it abuses its right to freedom and equality. Because it teaches its citizens to consider audacity as a right, lawlessness as a freedom, abrasive speech as equality, and anarchy as progress.”

  3. #3
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    So this is Lady Zeno's identity on SW.

  4. #4
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    look over there.... shiny stuff.

    <<screeching of car tyres>>

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    ^^ LOL classic.

    Hey, just tell him! It'll be tough, but he'll, at least, know!
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    LOL I love it.
    One more cup of coffee for the road,
    One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
    To the valley below....

    Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
    A Blogging?

  7. #7
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    there will be pouting and 'you don't love me anymore'... but i guess i'll have to try... gently...

  8. #8
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    Passive-aggressive teasing. "Look at your tummy! You look like a little doughnut!"
    "Come here! Spot me on some crunches! And then you can eat me out! Yay!"
    Slap his butt when he's turned around and yell "Sooooooooooeeeyy!" Just kidding.

  9. #9
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    Hmm....

    Do you guys go food shopping together? If so, don't let him grab the junk food. Better yet, go food shopping without him so he wont grab the junk food.

  10. #10
    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    have him read krazyjane's post about her ex boyfriend who gained weight and stopped taking care of himself. Obviously I'm sure your dude is still sanitarily friendly...but it might help. Any friends you can bribe to bring it up to him? He probably won't care as much if it's coming from a friend.

    Only other thing I can think of is if you're able to, try to spend as much of your quality couple time doing outdoorsy stuff.

  11. #11
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    i think it goes a little deeper than just being a bacon-lovin' fella. there is an underlying issue here that i'm only just seeing today. (and she dishes it on SW... sheesh)

    he hates what he's doing - the problem is, the 'company' want to send him almost to the top of the food chain to be 'the national boss' instead of 'the state boss'. he is torn between feeling obligated to take 'the top job' at what he hates, and the yearning to do what he wants - which is super technical stuff, unrelated to the company stuff.

    i totally couldn't give a rats if he 'goes national' or not. hell, i'll go anywhere - and have done before. i'll support his decision either way. thing is, i 'know' what he really wants... his own business, doing what he loves with his 'technical toys' - and internet related things.

    it comes down to that 'man' thing, he feels that if he doesn't climb that ladder and be the all-round top-dog, that he's being a 'bad husband'. i think that's hysterical. we never had a 'conventional' relationship - i think this little lawyer can hold her own, but he still feels he needs to be the 'responsible man'. his 'technical' work can be very lucrative also, he just doesn't have faith to tell the company to stick it and do his own thing at the moment.

    and like the gut-doughnut, there's no telling him what to do career-wise. i've seen dudes stay in jobs they despise for YEARS because they feel it's the MAN thing to do. he looks like a sad puppy today.

    there, Dr Phil has uncovered the source of his paunch.

    ps - i like the crunch n eat me out option above. LOL

    who's game to take this fiasco on??

  12. #12
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    Tell him. Most guys think in terms of this-

    "problem identified...need to fix it"

    He may think he's ok because no one is telling him he's getting big. Once he hears it, he'll fix it.

  13. #13
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    ok, i'll trust you guys! if i end up in the doghouse, it's your fault!

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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    Quote Originally Posted by Nautilus
    i think it goes a little deeper than just being a bacon-lovin' fella. there is an underlying issue here that i'm only just seeing today. (and she dishes it on SW... sheesh)

    he hates what he's doing - the problem is, the 'company' want to send him almost to the top of the food chain to be 'the national boss' instead of 'the state boss'. he is torn between feeling obligated to take 'the top job' at what he hates, and the yearning to do what he wants - which is super technical stuff, unrelated to the company stuff.

    i totally couldn't give a rats if he 'goes national' or not. hell, i'll go anywhere - and have done before. i'll support his decision either way. thing is, i 'know' what he really wants... his own business, doing what he loves with his 'technical toys' - and internet related things.

    ps - i like the crunch n eat me out option above. LOL

    who's game to take this fiasco on??
    Now if only I could determine the opportunity there... I could use some options myself. I have a desire for more than what is feasible on the current expected job path.

    The crunch and munch option sounds fun as well. I'll have to make a suggestion to a certain someone about that.

    I've been in jobs I hate because of the support thing. One could always try option A and plan option B out while option a is occuring. There is no opportunity without risk, planing that risk and acting on it is often better than just acting.
    One more cup of coffee for the road,
    One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
    To the valley below....

    Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
    A Blogging?

  15. #15
    Senior Member The Snark's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    I think any woman who's trying to modify her husband's behavior needs to read this article:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fa...e09ad3&ei=5070

    The gist of it is that nagging is poisonous for a relationship. If you want to train your man (or your dolphin) to be well behaved, give positive reinforcement when he does something right, and ignore it when he does something wrong. It's amazingly effective.

  16. #16
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    Quote Originally Posted by Nautilus
    ok, i'll trust you guys! if i end up in the doghouse, it's your fault!
    Look, most relationships are strengthened by this type of brutal honesty. Because it's not brutal coming from you. It shouldn't be.

    You can sugar coat it all you want. You play around the issue and start acting differently and we're alerted to something being up. Then we start the analyzing. And 100% of the time we're wrong.

    Just say "Hey, we're putting on some weight, and I know you've been stressing, lets switch life up a little and get a little crazy"

    Then, if you get the pouty look, cutely acknowledge it, but share in the problem and the solution.

    Once you tell him you're going to switch it up. A ) Fuck his brains out, B ) Make him do all the work in bed Work together out of the bed.

    Good luck.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  17. #17
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    Anybody know how many calories one sheds in bed?

    We're talking about ordinary (okay, extraordinary--if you're lucky) sex here, people, not some drug-induced, 5-hour, trantric marathon session.

  18. #18
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    when he's not out of his mind re: whether to stick with 'the company' or not - the bed-burning option is a good one. when we met, i whipped the 'comfort pounds' off him in no time. maybe i need a few new sets of 'wispy panties' to get the ball rolling. poor fool doesn't stand a chance...

    as for the NY times article... i suppose it would be unreasonable to "expect a baboon to learn to flip on command in one session"... LOL. uh dunno, man.

    i certainly am the anti-nag, as evidenced by the sheer volume of disembowelled pieces of vintage hi-fi, electronica and scary cabled devices littering every flat surface in my home - over which i say nothing... likewise, he doesn't complain if i cast push-up bras around to make a point.

    i, too, bagged m'self a geek! (hot).

  19. #19
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    Hahah, I wish I was a geek, apparently I would get all the keepers.

    Tell him he can go workout with the Nautilus....

    *giggle*
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  20. #20
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Middle-age spread

    actually, never mind the nautilus - i do believe he would move me out to move some B&W800s in. (http://www.bwspeakers.com/bw800/flash_en.html)

    i have been educated by Mr Audiophile with respect to these - in case i ever feel the need to shell out $AU50,000 for a 'surprise gift' for him. simple tastes... simple tastes.

    if playing with hi-fi was exercise he'd be a buff bastard by now.

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