The Calm Before the Storm.
I awoke feeling refreshed and restored from the events of the weekend. Thoughts from the weekend still cloud my head. How is it that old techno song goes, my weekend is finally over Monday afternoon. There is a clarity that did not exist Sunday, an ability to concentrate. I know I have recovered from the effects of the red bull, and will not drink it for a long time, and when I do it will be in moderation.
Today is quiet, I hear the usual morning noises of traffic and trains, but I know soon that I will not here these sounds again. The room is that warm stuffiness that I usually associate with something pleasurable, but it is nothing more than the heater mixing with the dampness of a Melbourne morning. It is somewhat cool, today, but not as cold as it has been. I spy my wife dressing and contemplate her beauty and mystery and try not to think too hard on where everything is going. We talk, but not about anything important. I roll over and rise slowly contemplating what will soon happen.
I know that the path I am on is coming to a close. I can see the new road ahead of me, and find there is just a little bit of the new one behind me. I can see the many paths divergent, but it is not clear; there is much fog and mist. I can make out faint outlines, but see no details. I can only hope the next journey is more exciting than the last. I can only hope I have learnt the lessons of the last journey.
I’ve been here before; I know this part of the path all too well. I find myself wondering if the next move will be my last, but I find I am not stressed by that thought, only saddened and also hopeful. I realize how much this place has become my home. I will miss Melbourne strongly when I leave, the people, the places, the tastes and the experience. A piece of my heart will stay here I am sure, just a piece, a fragment to remember Australia by. I’m sure a piece of Australia is coming with me.
I’ve left a bit of my heart in few places, but this is one I’d rather not leave. There is a part of me that says I can return, but I doubt the actuality of it all, and I know it will not be the same when I do. Melbourne is a place I truly know, I guess that means it is time to leave.
This is the place where I became an adult, the place that showed me just how much I can fail, and then hinted at the success I could one day have if I but turn desire into hard work, and earn what I desire. I have a feeling I could have made it here, but something was holding me back. If I could have discovered inside myself what I have seen in the past few months, I know it would have been different. But I am not going to let myself dwell on what could have been. I must look forward, and do what I have not yet done. I once again have a new adventure, a new realm to explore, this time it is a place I have been once before. I know this time it will be different, much as returning here again would be.
Something inside of me is different now as well. Something is awake, and hungry. It is a raw desire to fulfil my hopes, dreams and experience life as never before. The apathy that has plagued me for so long is still there, but diminishing, I know it must be fought no matter how hard.
I have learnt both the folly and strength in being alone. I know now there are times for both. I see also now what I have been missing. It feels odd to see myself making plans for the future, but I know for once they are necessary.
For now I am trying to rest. I don’t want to think too much about the upcoming events. I’ll start strategizing solutions for a hundred and one scenarios that may or may not happen. I’m just getting inpatient. I can see the storm feel it in the air, the movers come on the 23rd, and we give some stuff to our friends on the 24th clean the 25th, and stay at a friend’s house until the 30th. In the meantime our car and a few other items are up for sale.
I’ve learnt from my 3 previous international moves the only thing you can do in this situation is take it in stride and respond as events occur. The time for proactive preparations is over, and it is time for the reactive phase of this project. I’m just hoping it goes smoothly and is successful.
Well at least I’ll be able to bring SW/SCJ with me. I’m just very melancholy today. I also have one of those desires to try for the implausible and earn enough extra for another night out. I guess you could say Damn I wish I was not moving and if I had found out all I know today 5 years go…. Damn life would be different



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I haven't had money to get bacon yet and hadn't tested it so I hadn't said anything yet.
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