Results 1 to 25 of 25

Thread: Legal trouble?

  1. #1
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Legal trouble?

    Okay. This is longwinded and odd, and... yeah.

    I have a custy that comes to see me regularly. Like, once a day regularly. He buys me $70 drinks at least, brings me dinner every day, buys me outfits, brings me candy, gifts, you name it. I'd like to add this was ALWAYS ITC - he knew I had a BF. He even bought me a pet chipmunk in reference to an inside joke.

    Then he drops this whole I love you bomb - and tells me he'd be better for me than the BF. I gently tell him I'm happy with my BF and I don't date married men, and he takes it, and I figured that would be the end of it. No. The man shows up, with candles, and a ring, and tells me he left his wife, and proposes. He's been stalking me.

  2. #2
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    He writes me lots of checks, and I use them for whatever. One night, I ordered some food for me and some chicks I worked with, and realized I didn't have any cash, as I'd bought an outfit from some girl I work with. I said hey, can I borrow thirty bucks? I'll give it back. He said sure. Before he left, he also wrote me a check for $350.

    That night as I walked out to my car, I found this letter taped to my windshield about all the loving things he wanted to do for me, and how I was better than his wife, blah blah blah. But towards the end it got creepier and creepier, and all this stuff about wanting to be smothered by me as he went to sleep, and watching me through my windows, and all this wierd stuff. So I struggle to come up with some sort of plan here.

  3. #3
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    I finally just email him, tell him due to circumstances I can't see him. I'm really ambiguous about the when's, why's, and how's, but the conclusion most easily drawn is that it's other people that are involved, and it's out of my hands. I figure I won't break his heart that way. I also tell him I will mail a check for $30 to his work. (I am anal about paying my debts.)

    For a couple weeks, he sends me emails pining and longing and moaning for me, and then he says that he wants $350 back. He is saying he loaned that to me, not gave it to me, and that he wants it back since he left his wife for me, and ruined his life, legal action if I don't give it back blah blah blah. I haven't replied.

    The question here is this: if he takes me to court can he get it back? Does he have a leg to stand on? What do I do? It's not that the 350 is a big deal, but money's tight right now as I hurt my ankle and can't work for a couple weeks. I can't afford this. Help me!!!

    Also, how hard is it to get a restraining order? Does it apply to one's house/car? I've been getting unspeakable "gifts" on my steps and in my windshield wipers.

  4. #4
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    Please forgive the three posts - for some reason it wouldn't let me post that all together.

  5. #5
    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    967
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 12 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    Um....wow....first your stepdad and then this. this guy is obviously nuts. i'm not sure if he does have a "legal leg to stand on," mostly because he's given you lots of gifts. however, he can take you to court. save the gifts as evidence that he does this regularly, including gifts of money. however, if you were to pay back the 30 bucks, it might make the 350 seem like a loan in the eyes of the court. honestly, who knows. you have letters and emails from him demonstrating his fixation. then again, it could depend on the judge and his/her prejudices (or lack thereof) about strippers.

    but, if the letter says that he gave you the money and then left his wife for you, it appears as if he admitted to giving you that money, albeit with expectations. and the fact that you don't want to reciprocate gives him motive to all of a sudden claim it's a loan, and this could be obvious in a legal setting.

    i really don't know much about law, though, other than a few people's court episodes and such. so my advice somes with a loud disclaimer. a lot might depend on how he worded his emails and letters. if it comes down to 350 bucks or your sanity, it might be worth it to return the money. then again, he sounds really manipulative, so there's no guarantee that he'd stop this stuff if you did return it.

    i don't know what else to say.....
    "Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days."

    ~Che Guevara, "The Motorcycle Diaries"

  6. #6
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    Yeah.... my life is one long drama fest. Stepdad, stalkers.... <sighs> Thanks for the advice, though. It's all appreciated.

  7. #7
    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas, Nevada
    Posts
    2,336
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 65 Times in 45 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    If he does sue you it's going to have to be in Small Claims Court. Even if it makes it that far, he's going to make an argument as are you and a judge is going to decide. Regardless of this specific legal battle, you should be keeping all of the correspondence between the two of you on paper and make copies for safe keeping. Every note he wrote you, every scribble on a napkin, anything...save it. His obsessiveness is very telling about his motivations. Should this go to court, you show the judge everything on this guy and he probably won't win a cent. IMHO, if you want to end this drama fast. Mail him a check for $350 and be done with him. Otherwise you'll never hear the end of it.

    Now, this all aside, you should absolutely file for a restraining order. Same thing...show the cops his love letters, claims that he left his wife (which may or may not be true) etc. The guy is a nut-case. Just be sure you stay organized with all your notes and correspondence as it's the only legal thing you can protect yourself with.

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
    -
    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

  8. #8
    God/dess
    Joined
    Feb 2002
    Location
    OUTTATHISWORLD
    Posts
    7,219
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 15 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    I dunno. If you repay the $350, it might appear that you agreed it was a loan and you owe him back for every single check that he's given you in the past. Whatever you do, don't go before Judge Judy.


  9. #9
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2005
    Location
    a safe place for dancers, just ask me
    Posts
    2,132
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    sounds like his previous checks and gifts set up a 'course of dealing'. an ongoing, unspoken agreement where he gives you checks and stuff in return for your time and attention. he only wants his $350 because you have taken away his time and attention.

    if that is the nature of the agreement, either give him some time, or give him the money. (saves you going to judge judy).

  10. #10
    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
    Posts
    2,457
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    well, just based on the fact that I watch too much Judge Mathes, if you didn't agree to pay the money back, i.e., it wasn't a loan, then you don't owe it back and he wouldn't get a judgement against you.

  11. #11
    Jay Zeno
    Guest

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    You could give him back his $350 with a note saying, "I'm returning your gift of $350. Accept this only as full agreement that this resolves all dealings between us, and we will go about our lives separately." Generally, this meets the principle of accord and satisfaction - if he takes the money, he's agreeing to the terms.

    What he's really doing is using the return of the $350 to leverage further contact with you.

    At some point, you do need a restraining order. Pretty creepy.

  12. #12
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    152
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    NO. He does not have any cause of action against you. The only way he can effectively claim it was a loan is if you signed something to that effect. It isyour word against his. Also, if he claims $500 or more, the statute of frauds requires that the agreement be reduced to writing.

    If he's really bothering you, call the police and file a report for stalking or harassment. Usually police departments and DA's take this stuff seriously and they may even help you get a restraining order. When you file the report, ask to talk to the DA about restraining orders. I don't think you need to hire an attorney to get them, usually only if your case is dubious would that be nececssary.

  13. #13
    Senior Member evh1980's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    75
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    Quote Originally Posted by cherry_sin
    Also, how hard is it to get a restraining order? Does it apply to one's house/car? I've been getting unspeakable "gifts" on my steps and in my windshield wipers.
    Ugh... What an ugly situation, I'm so sorry you have to go through all that!

    I'm not sure about the legalities of the $350 (I'm fairly sure that if it ever went to court, as DW said, he'd have so much going against him, but I don't have enough legal authority to say for sure), but I *do* happen to know a bit about the legalities of getting restraining orders and/or stalking laws. (I had a friend at work who was in a similar situation a few years ago, with a guy she'd gone out on *one* date with, and so I bothered to look up the details in an attempt to help her.)

    First off, it depends *greatly* on your state. For instance, the last time I checked, in the TX Criminal Code, "stalking" of the nature you've described is actually a misdeameanor! (I think it's a Class A, though - not 100% positive, I'd have to look it up to be sure). What elevates it to a felony in TX is "malicious intent," specifically in the way of violence and/or threats of violence. I'm a bit hazy on the specifics, again, but it is only the felony version of "stalking" that would allow you to seek a restraining order - and then, of course, with any such legal proceedings, I think there are legal filing fees and such ... ugh ... the U.S. judicial system is not particularly fun.

    Bottom line, though, is that the laws and criminal procedure will vary from state to state, and from what I've seen thus far, each state is pretty good about making available their entire criminal (and civil) code online. You might even be able to do a Google search for something as simple as 'Texas criminal code stalking', for instance.

    You can also try to call the police, if you are concerned about the increasingly creepiness of this guy's behavior ... but chances are pretty good that unless he has committed some specific act or threat of violence towards you, they will tell you there's not much they can do. (Nevertheless, it doesn't cost you much more than your time to find out...)

    Sucky that the laws are so lax on these types of behavior, at least in TX. I was surprised, to say the least ... I'm sorry I don't have much better info for you!

    Hang in there, hope everything works out for the better...

  14. #14
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    152
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    Oh yeah.. to answer your last question, the restraining order can be effective to anything. The judge can include your car, your house, your phone and your email and give a certain distance he has to stay away from you personally at all times. Basically, the judge can tailor make a restraining order so it is effective in the particular circumstances that arise.

    Call the police though and file a report. Through the police you can to the DA and get all the facts and help you need.

  15. #15
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    Okay, thanks you guys. I'm taking down all my letters as well as a few pictures (I cannot bring myself to touch some of those gifts - vials of his blood, a stuffed dead squirrel, among others. The cops will be sick of me. LOL. Thanks for everyone that replied.

  16. #16
    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Posts
    3,174
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 54 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    I personally think he's bluffing. I really don't think this guys wants to admit what a PL he was in a court of law, have all this evidence come out that he was basically stalking you, etc.

    I would not return the $30, either, as that would signal a judge that the mvarious monies given over time could all be gifts or loans or who knows. Better to stick to you story that they have all been gifts. You work in a freaking strip club, for love of god. Do strip club customers LOAN girls money? I have a hard time believing this would fly in court, especially considering his repeated creepy behavior and your absolute rejection of his advances from the very beginning. Do you have documented proof of his stalking? And also document proof that you let him know under no unertain terms this this was not going to blossom into a relationship? This will be a case of unrequited love. Judgement to the defendent in the amount of $350.

    Case closed.

    But like I said. He is just bluffing. Why don't you email him back and say that your lawyer would love to meet with his lawyer this week and see what he says?

  17. #17
    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Houston,Tx
    Posts
    1,522
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 136 Times in 79 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    Quote Originally Posted by cherry_sin
    vials of his blood, a stuffed dead squirrel
    LMAO...sorry cherry_sin, i know this issue is serious, but the thought of you stomping through the courthouse with a stuffed dead squirrel under your arm is priceless. Could you post a picture of it? LOL.
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

  18. #18
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    606
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    Vials of his blood???!!! And I thought drunken love letters written on bar napkins were weird.

  19. #19
    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2006
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    794
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    ^Sounds like Billy Bob and Angelina Jolie.
    BTW I wanna see the squirrel too.

  20. #20
    Veteran Member casaubon1's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    East
    Posts
    371
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 14 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel
    I personally think he's bluffing. I really don't think this guys wants to admit what a PL he was in a court of law, have all this evidence come out that he was basically stalking you, etc.

    But like I said. He is just bluffing. Why don't you email him back and say that your lawyer would love to meet with his lawyer this week and see what he says?

    Sounds right legally, but I would skip the email and steer clear of any more contact with this guy. Sounds like he has flipped. No one in a rational state would do half of this stuff, and no rational litigant would go into open court over $350 knowing you would testify to a relationship in which he sent you blood and dead vermin.

    I'd ignore the $350 and focus on the restraining order.

  21. #21
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    I don't have a digital cam, or I would post. But it is a squirrel with a little outfit on, holding a bowl of cherries (Stage name is Cherry) and a little sign that says "Forever yours". Vials of blood, lingerie, whips, floggers, handcuffs, black candles in my yard that spell out I love you, on and fucking on.

    I have pics on a disposable cam of all this, and my wonderful boyfriend moved the squirrel, along with the rest of it, to the back shed. So... I just told him to have his lawyer contact mine. I gave him my cell, which he doesn't have, so I could see if he was actually going through with it. It hasn't rang. Thanks bunches.

  22. #22
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    5,493
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked 50 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    The guy is a fruit cake and deserving of a visit from the police to tell him to calm all this crazy shit down. Blood and dead animals are beyond the boundaries.

    Hopefully people will book mark this thread for the next girl who is like "there is this sugar daddy and he um, is giving me lots of cool things, um - what do you think I should do?"

  23. #23
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    13,855
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    Wow, you have the most interesting, unusual, and exciting life out of anyone I've ever heard of. Perhaps you should write a book about your obstacles. Your hardships are so intense they almost seem fictional. Good thing you have all of these kind, helpful, and trusting people concerned about you.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  24. #24
    Featured Member GnBeret's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    796
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    ... Good thing you have all of these kind, helpful, and trusting people concerned about you.
    Too bad the boyfriend isn't one of them!!!

    JK but, seriously, where's the Hell's he been throughout all of this? Maybe it's just me but, assuming, for the sake of argument I hadn't already done so (highly unlikely, to say the least!), I would've definitely had a 'Come To Jesus' talk with the guy at the first sign/indication of his being anywhere near where you live.
    "That's your answer Old Man? I guess you're a Hard Case too...."
    - Luke
    "Some men, you just can't reach...."
    - Boss, re Luke

    If there's one thing in my life these years have taught me,
    it's that you can always see it coming, but you can never stop it.
    -Cowboy Junkies

  25. #25
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal trouble?

    Thing is, he's an ex-marine, and has like, an arsenal, and he almost shot the guy. He was really really pissed. I just didn't want that scene on my front porch, so I told him to wait - and so we got a trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again sign and posted it every eight feet around our fence. No sign of him since, but he follows me around, from my mailbox to my errands and through the stores. He doesn't do it when I have Steve with me though.

Similar Threads

  1. Legal Advice? Trying to stay out of trouble in a dirty club.
    By ScarletRose in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 09-29-2009, 05:55 PM
  2. Helping Someone in Legal Trouble
    By Sienna_TX in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 02-24-2007, 12:21 PM
  3. Was this legal??
    By kyle_bhi in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 11-19-2005, 02:18 AM
  4. Legal Forum: Ask your legal questions here.
    By ATLDiscoLawyer420 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 42
    Last Post: 04-29-2003, 09:11 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •