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Thread: stripper does adequate job

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    Default stripper does adequate job

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/52289

    Stripper Does Adequate Job
    September 1, 2006 | Issue 42•36

    HOUSTON, TX—Patrons in the VIP Room of Ajax Gentleman’s Club responded positively and expressed general satisfaction with the performance of stripper Candela, 21, on Tuesday night. "I can’t say I have any major criticisms concerning the girl who gave Dave that perfectly respectable lap dance," customer John MacRae told associates afterward. "Her presentation was reasonably well-timed and informative, her choice of the song ‘Push It’ was appropriate, and I thought we established a good rapport, considering what little time we spent together." All in attendance compensated Candela with the standard amount for her services, and "would not mind seeing a naked girl or girls, again in the near future," according to comment cards.

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    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    WTF? is that all about?

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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    What a normal story. Not outstanding news worthy to me.
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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    It is The Onion.

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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    I love the Onion!!!!






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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    What exactly was the point of that story? Did they just need something to fill the space? Or is anything with stripper in the story really considered that interesting??

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    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    You have to be familiar with The Onion to get it. I had forgotten about it until now. It's just a tongue in cheek sort of news spoof thing. Like: In other news, we found water to be refreshingly wet ...

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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    Quote Originally Posted by holiday
    You have to be familiar with The Onion to get it. I had forgotten about it until now. It's just a tongue in cheek sort of news spoof thing. Like: In other news, we found water to be refreshingly wet ...
    exactly. go to http://www.theonion.com and read some of the archives...this is actually quite humorous in the context of the onion.
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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    Yeah the Onion has articles like Studies Show Loss of Appetite Occurs After Eating.


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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    My personal favorite Onion headline was when they did a history retrospective of major events and they covered the Titanic disaster with the headline, "Worlds Largest Metaphor Hits Iceberg!"

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    That's cute. I think they're taking the whole notion of "If it bleeds, it leads" and flipping it on its head. That headline is kind of like "Airplane Lands Safely Without Incident" or "Paint Dries On House".

    Here's an even better one about strippers from the archives. Kind of an Op-Ed piece.
    I Think That Stripper Really Liked Me
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    Context, people, context! When in doubt, examine the source for context.

    Man, I could free-associate my favorite Onion headlines for hours, I bet. First one that springs to mind: "President Clinton Feels Nation's Pain, Breasts".

    Then there was the article on the college student who rented a cheesy porno with his friends, supposedly in the spirit of irony, and mocked it the whole time. Said student later revisited the tape for an entirely unironic orgasm. Hee hee hee. I knew guys just like this.

    DW, I love that historical "anthology". My favorite from that was "HOLY SHIT!" as the headline, "Man Walks on the FUCKING MOON!" as the subtitle. All the photo captions were worded similarly, like "Astronaut Neil Armstrong taking a soil sample on the surface of the fucking moon."
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite
    DW, I love that historical "anthology". My favorite from that was "HOLY SHIT!" as the headline, "Man Walks on the FUCKING MOON!" as the subtitle. All the photo captions were worded similarly, like "Astronaut Neil Armstrong taking a soil sample on the surface of the fucking moon."

    Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. The second I turned to that page I absolutely lost it I couldn't stop laughing so hard!

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    Default Re: stripper does adequate job

    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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