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Thread: Obsessing over guy?!

  1. #1
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    Default Obsessing over guy?!

    I feel like maybe my behavior is a little kooky here.
    I just broke up with someone I wasn't even having sex with, he had drug issues.

    So, for like four years, or longer, due to many reasons I haven't been having anything close to regular sex. I'm only in my 30's...

    So, now I have this crush gone overboard on a guy I hardly know. He's a local man in uniform kinda guy, hella hott

    I've had a crush on im since before the last bf and now I can't stop thinking about him.

    Problem is, it's been so long since I've anything close to a relationship or sex with a guy, I can't even talk to them, I forget how to kiss, now I get so embarassed and shy around guys now I ignore tham everywhere.

    This is hurting my life big time.

    In your experience, do you think obsessing over a guy is dangerous or just a way of getting over something, I'm fucked up and confused

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Obsessing over guy?!

    I am going to be honest with you i think obssesing over a guy is very childish i grew out of it. If you are feeling this strongly I think you should seek consuling. I crush should not be harming your life.

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    Default Re: Obsessing over guy?!

    The crush isn't hurting my life by keeping me from guys, I was so distant from guys already - that I think is because after I was assaulted and then this guy hit me, I feel like I'm already too far from girlfriend material.

    This makes me really shy, I used to not be

    The crush, that's like self-medicating, yeah....but, what I'm wondering is if I should try to crush it. It's like it gets me by.

    Now, counseling, no offense but they can suck my ****. It's not good for your emotions to be spilling your guts to someone who invariably ushers you out at the hour. It's scarring I think. Plus, I can intellectualize it myself, "that's not nice, oh, that must hurt you, care about yourself, go ahead cry, bs, bs, bs..."

    Personally I think real people, real friends, real family are the best "counselors". I find therapists fake, distracted, and over it.

    Any other suggestions than counseling?

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    Default Re: Obsessing over guy?!

    Just try talking to him - baby steps - dont worry about the rest it will happen if its meant to be . Relax !

  5. #5
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Obsessing over guy?!

    You have a crush, which is nice. Try and enjoy this heady feeling. It may NOT become anything real, relationship-wise, but that doesn't mean the feelings you have at the moment aren't real or pleasureable.

    Sounds like you've been hurt and shut down, and now that these perfectly normal feelings are flooding back, you feel odd and uncomfortable. You may not feel it's Okay to have these feelings. Take it from us: It's Okay.

    The best advice is to take your time and don't rush into anything. First, rushing will likely trigger a shut down--emotional, sexual. Second, any guy not willing to let you proceed at your desired pace doesn't respect you and isn't worth your time.

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