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Thread: Made a mistake (please be nice)

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    Member Ilovetodance's Avatar
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    Default Made a mistake (please be nice)

    I've been dancing about 2 months now. I really like it, and I'm making decent money. I only work a few nights a week though. But 2 nights ago I made a BIG mistake. I had too much to drink, let my guard down and apparently the customer had his hands down my undies and some other girls saw it. They are pissed at me, they told the manager and I've been told this one girl is going to kick my ass. Now I'm not this kind of dancer. I don't normally do that. I can't believe I let that happen. I will never drink like that again. The manager was brought over to watch my dance but apparently I didn't do anything in front of him because he didn't fire me that night. He's the type that would too (I've seen it happen). But I am afraid of this girl. She is loud and very outspoken and I don't know if she really will want to fight me or if she was just mad and blowing smoke. Should I try to go back and apologize and explain the situation to her and hope for the best? Or should I go back and try to stay out of the dressing room and away from her (she wouldn't do anything in the front) or should I just go somewhere else? I don't know how much this is actually looked down on by all the girls there. I've seen girls do this but never such a fuss made and I've seen girls that I suspected were doing worse. I guess they had a problem with it because everyone could see him doing it to me. I feel absolutely horrible about this. It makes me feel so trashy that I let it happen like that. Does anyone have any advice, other than the obvious (not drinking at work?) Please be kind in your replies I feel horrible about this as is. I'm just looking for some advice as to what to do tonight. I want to go back because I make kick ass money on Friday's but in a way I'm sort of scared shitless of this girl.

    Any help is greatly appreciated.

    Amanda

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    Veteran Member Scout's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    We've all made mistakes. You aren't alone.

    Keep your dances cleaner than everyone else's, and stay out of this girl's way. She has every right to be angry. Don't worry though. It will blow over.

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Quote Originally Posted by Scout
    We've all made mistakes. You aren't alone.

    Keep your dances cleaner than everyone else's, and stay out of this girl's way. She has every right to be angry. Don't worry though. It will blow over.
    Ditto. Make sure you don't drink either. And if anyone says anything to you, just let them know that you made a mistake, you feel horrible about it, and it's not going to happen again. Forgive yourslf and move on. We all make mistakes sometimes. In a week this won't even matter anymore.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    I agree with Scout. Go back to work, work clean, don't get too tipsy again, stay busy and out of her way.

  5. #5
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    I'm sure it will be okay, but I would advise to to not drink AT ALL at work! This way you won't cross your own boundries.

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    Veteran Member Scout's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine73
    Ditto. Make sure you don't drink either. And if anyone says anything to you, just let them know that you made a mistake, you feel horrible about it, and it's not going to happen again. Forgive yourslf and move on. We all make mistakes sometimes. In a week this won't even matter anymore.
    I don't know if I'd admit to anything. If you do, you'd confirm that you are a "dirty girl." I think I'd say something like, "I don't want to talk about it," and walk away.

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    Member Ilovetodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Oh thank you all for your insight. I know she has a right to be angry, I would've been too, not kicking ass angry, but I'm just not that type of person. But I do feel awful. I was never like this before and I don't intend to let it happen again. I think I'm going to go back tonight, get out on the floor before she gets there and just stay out of the dressing room. If she's still mad I'm afraid she will kick my ass, she's a very mean girl. I'm not sure if this was something she'll get over or not. I wasn't sure whether or not to apologize to her or just see if she says anything to me. But I don't want to be labeled the dirty girl. Believe me if I get to stay there my dances will be sparkling clean. I'm not that kind of girl and I don't want that label from one mistake. I guess I'll just have to go in and see how things go. The worst that can happen I get my ass kicked and get fired. This is just a 2nd job for me, so I guess I could go somewhere else under a diff. name and have a new start? I hope this isn't the case because I really do like this club. Thanks again girls for your advice. You made me feel a little better!

    Amanda

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    Veteran Member Scout's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Amanda, if she starts a fight, she'll be fired. The worst that will happen is that the dancers will be mean to you or will ignore you... or your stuff will be stolen. (Keep your locker shut!) If you like this club, don't go anywhere. In a month, this incident will be forgotten.

    Don't apologize. Pretend like it never happened. You aren't going to do it again, so it doesn't matter. They aren't your friends. You owe them nothing. Besides, they are trying to get you fired. This is what dancers do when they catch someone breaking the rules. I would be doing the same thing if you worked in my club.

    If you are labeled as a "dirty girl" and it sticks, don't worry about it. Unless you are providing extra services, the title means nothing. Dancers are quick to brand someone as dirty out of pure jealousy. Management does not know which "dirty girls" are hated for existing and which have actually broken a rule. Neither does the customer.

    Stay clean and you will be fine.

    On a side note, where were the bouncers? The customer was touching you and you were too drunk to stop him!

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Oh come on. If I have $5.00 for every time I got plastered and fucked up... wait. I have, like, $20.00 for every time I've done that. And I just wound up spending it on stupid crap. What the hell was I thinking?

    Kidding. But really, a LOT of dancers have done this. Maybe not ALL, but probably a good 80-95%. Like a LOT. Other chicks get mad and then get over it. I mean you didn't DO anything to her, so an apology would be weird, even if you're dying to absolve yourself somehow (personally, I walk around apologizing to everyone for everything I've ever done, generally and specifically). So walk into work like nothing happened, and if anyone asks you just say "Yeah, and I'm never drinking Tequila ever again. THAT was an error." If they press say "I did that? Gross!"
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    I would not bring it up or apologize to anyone, but if anyone DOES say something to you I would say something like " I can't believe I let that happen, I was so wasted. I'm never letting that happen again. I feel so bad about it". EVERYONE does out-of-character things when they are wasted and I think most dancers would be forgiving about it. Then don't drink at work, stay out on the floor, stay busy and give clean dances. Don't give anyone a reason to bring you down or fire you. Pay attention to your own business, lock up your stuff, and avoid Mean Girl. If others see you behaving they'll eventually give up and they move on to the next drama.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

  11. #11
    bostondancer
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    There is the loud mouth girl in every club that thinks she has the right to be in all the club business , isn't there ?? Lol I do not miss that .


    Trust me SHE WILL GET OVER IT . You are new too so that is another reason they are giving you "tough love" Its not they don't like you or that they really want to hurt you they are just trying to keep what happened out of their club . I do not belive in being a busy body though . Everybody has the dirty girl moment sometime in their careers , some more than others . You know what will really piss you off is when you see those girls that are giving you shit being DIRTY themselves !!!!!!!!! Then you can just walk by and smile !!!

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    Member Ilovetodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Quote Originally Posted by Scout
    Amanda, if she starts a fight, she'll be fired. The worst that will happen is that the dancers will be mean to you or will ignore you... or your stuff will be stolen. (Keep your locker shut!) If you like this club, don't go anywhere. In a month, this incident will be forgotten.

    Don't apologize. Pretend like it never happened. You aren't going to do it again, so it doesn't matter. They aren't your friends. You owe them nothing. Besides, they are trying to get you fired. This is what dancers do when they catch someone breaking the rules. I would be doing the same thing if you worked in my club.

    If you are labeled as a "dirty girl" and it sticks, don't worry about it. Unless you are providing extra services, the title means nothing. Dancers are quick to brand someone as dirty out of pure jealousy. Management does not know which "dirty girls" are hated for existing and which have actually broken a rule. Neither does the customer.

    Stay clean and you will be fine.

    On a side note, where were the bouncers? The customer was touching you and you were too drunk to stop him!
    The 1 bouncer we have is old, has a bad knee and he doesn't get up for much. He's not there for the girls safety.

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    Member Ilovetodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Thank you all for your replies. I feel like I can go back to work now. Now that I don't feel I've made the mistake of all mistakes. Believe me my dances will be clean, my locker is always locked anyway, I never even walk away from it unlocked. And I'm never involved in any drama (except this time) so I'm going to stick to hustlin and dancin and leave everyone else alone. I've only had this one mishap and the girls there no I'm not like this. So I hope all goes smoothly. I'm just going to try to act like nothing happened unless I'm confronted with it, but I'm not confessing or apologizing. I'm just going to act like I can't believe it. I guess we'll see in a few hours. Again ladies, thanks for all your advice. I absolutely love this website, you guys rock!

    Amanda

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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Yes, everyone makes mistakes and it will blow over. Just wait for her to make hers.

    And about being the dirty girl, I worked at a place where all the girls banded against me and started a rumour that I was the dirty girl. And I wasn't doing anything. They just decided not to like me. I think all you girls know that this kind of name calling happens whether you are guilty or not.

    Well, the girls started telling the customers that I was the dirty girl and if they wanted to get more, that they should see me. I got a lot of referral business! I told the manager, who laughed. After I left for my shift, the manager told the girls that I give them many thanks for all the business they have brought my way.

    So they shut up about it.

    It all blows over in time.

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Just wanted to chime in and say that, in my opinion, everyone has done things they are ashamed of when they've drank too much. I know I have. I recently had something like this happen to me. A girl came by as a guy was making a pass for the kitty. I put my hand down there immediately and she walked by just in time to see me with my hand on my crotch and his hand right on top of mine. We were like that for a SECOND, and only because I was trying to keep him away. But she yelled, "Calm down, you two!" and sent the manager over to watch me. I was so embarrassed because I'm not "that girl." Like you, I wondered what to do...should I talk to her? Should I apologize? Should I talk to the manager? I ended up just acting like nothing ever happened and it blew over. I find, for me at least, things always seem more dramatic than they are. You'll be fine. And if you aren't, screw it. Go to a new club. There are plenty. If you need any advice on Indiana clubs, let me know.

  16. #16
    Tart
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Im not sure where you are dancing in Indiana., Amanda but if its in Indy I would be able to prob give you some stellar advice . lol

    Everyone does fucked up shit when they are drunk be it at work or a drunk dial. Dont feel ashamed but dont let it happen again. I hate to break it to you but being new is already a point against you ..being a "dirty new girl "...lord. I can't even imagine.

    And they are all correct, there is a loud asshole chick that's been employeed at the club for awhile in EVERY CLUB. I think it comes standard with the Nickleback sets now adays.

    You have two options.,

    1. Dont own up to it., make up a story ..stick to it and refrain from EVER being that close or in that sorta situation again.

    2. Switch Clubs.

    This rep will hold for awhile. It just does. More so because you are new. If you werent' new it would be another story entirely.

    I would go with number 2. since lying almost fucks shit up worse.

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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    That is one BIG reason why many guys like to buy us drinks. They find a vulnerable girl to get tipsy, and then try to push the envelope sexually with her.

    It can be hard sometimes to resist liquor when others around you are drinking, but it really is adviseable. You don't drink at your day job, right?

    I wouldn't fear another dancer. Just go to work, keep your mouth shut, and see how things go. If the other girls act childish and vindictive, then change clubs.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    I tell my club I want an 'apricot twist' (apricot juice with ice, lol) or I want a chocolate milk with extra whipped creame. Play with the creame and make a show. You'll never have to drink again/


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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    Oh come on. If I have $5.00 for every time I got plastered and fucked up... wait. I have, like, $20.00 for every time I've done that. And I just wound up spending it on stupid crap. What the hell was I thinking?

    !"
    LOL Jenny!

    I am going to start putting a jackson in a jar every time that happens. In a year, I will be rich!


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    Member Wilhelmina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    I had the same thing happen on Thursday, knickers, hands, and the other dancer.

    she didn't want to fight or kick my ass didn't tell management or bouncer... I went over and said 'I'm sorry, thanks for that because I am so out of it I didn't even notice, i'm just being stupid and am pissed' she said 'just that it's not fair on the rest of us. When I saw her upstairs (with the room spinning around me!!) I just said thanks for letting me know what was going on I'm just so out of it. She said' that's fine it happens, it's just not fair and don't let it happen again'

    She didn't tell management, and I didn't see her for the rest of the week.. we're not friends but she isn't one of the bitchy ones at work...

    Hadn't been that drunk at work before so this was a scary experience for me!!

    I'm staying at that club and keeping a level head from now on, no more drinking for me, I don't want another mistake. I believe everyone makes mistakes, especially when drunk and that I am confident in myself that I won't let it happen again. Needless to say I haven't been so ashamed for a loooong time, however I also know that if she does try to gossip about me I am not going to be fazed by it, and I will ignore her attempts, because I know in my heart that I'm not a bad girl and that it was a learning experience for me.

    Talking to some of the girls I'm friendly with, they all confided to very similar experiences and understood where I was coming from.

    I think it will blow over, especially as there are girls who really do extra's at my club and far higher drama going on. I'm new, but the turn over at our club is high and there are a lot of new girls, we also do odd shifts and I only see this girl about once a week so we aren't in each others faces regularly.

    I'm sure you'll come through this with your dignity intact. I hope my experience lets you know you aren't alone, yours really made ME feel better xx

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    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Don't worry about it-it will blow over soon and the girls will find something else to gossip about.

    Just take it easy on the alcohol from now on-99% of the stupid things I have done happened when I was really drunk.

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    Member Ilovetodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    Oh, Friday night was something else. I did go in. Most of the girls ignored me for a while. The girl that wanted to kick my ass didn't show up til about 10:00 or so. I was the first girl there so when she did her sets, thats when I hit the locker room to change. I just avoided her all night. Nothing more was said about it. The manager watched my first 3 -4 dances and then went away. My dances were all very clean (as they usually are). But then I started paying more attention to the other girls dancing and I just couldnt believe these were the girls talking shit about me and shunning me. I witnessed one girl letting her regular lick her kitty while she had it in his face. Then at the last of the night the very girl who started the entire rucuss was giving a private dance and she had her hand down his pants getting him off!!! I kept my mouth shut but it took all I had. I just thought, the nerve of some people!! By the end of the night everyone was being nice to me again and acting as if nothing ever happened. Oh well, you all were right, it did blow over and they have all moved on to new drama. We had 2 new girls for them to pick on and a favorite girl just up and quit. So there was plenty of new drama for them. Thank you all for your honest opinions and advice. Again, I love this site!!!

    Amanda

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    Veteran Member Scout's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    ^^^

    Yay! It blew over. And so quickly too!

    Uhm, that's a lot of extra service going on there.

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    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    So, where is it that you work in Indy?
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Made a mistake (please be nice)

    My guess would be Brads Brass Flamingo?

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