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Thread: SS? Or real?

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    Senior Member evh1980's Avatar
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    Default SS? Or real?

    So I visited my local club last night after checking out a local band... For reference, I was in a particularly generous mood, and was generally happy.

    I arrive at the club, tip the doorgirl, get a drink, chat for a bit with the dancer who's next up on stage, tip her for a bit ... get another drink, etc etc.

    This dancer comes by and chats for a bit, and quickly moves to the 'wannadance' bit ... and at first, I wasn't really interested. But, like I said, I was feeling particularly generous last night, so I say, "What the heck, sure, why not!" She dances a couple of songs for me, but looks kinda tired, and, quite honestly, I wasn't really in the mood for getting lots of dances anyway, so I tell her I'd be happy to just talk with her for a while, and that I'd still pay for her time. She seems a bit surprised that I'm being so nice to her, but we talk ... eventually, we get a bite of food from the omelette bar, get back to a table with our food ... we keep talking, she appears to be generally happy. At one point, she asks me why I'm such a nice guy, and I tell her the truth - that it's generally my approach to the world (to be nice, that is), and that I've been having a great night, and that I was having a lot of fun just sitting there and talking and whatnot.

    So all that goes by (at some point we end up tipping her on-stage friend and a DJ) Towards the end of the evening, she asks me for my number. At no point during the evening did I make any references to anything OTC (not something I ever do anyway), and generally kept my attitude in "SC mode" ... where I take most everything with a grain of salt and/or treat "interest" as general SS...

    But this is the first time I had a dancer actually ask me for my number (as opposed to offering hers or something). So I'm confused (having finally learned my lesson from the SS incident that resulted in my first-ever post on SW ) - and I ask her up front about her motivations, and tell her that I'm not really interested in extras and such, and that if she wants to keep things at a custy/dancer level, that's fine by me. She looks a bit taken aback, then asks me if I'm married (I'm not) and if I have a girlfriend (I don't) and if I have any kids (I don't) - and just says she'd like to call me and talk some time. I say, "OK, sure, sounds good!" Throughout the night, I've been trying to keep a count on the number of songs, and I come up with "16" - she even tells me "you don't have to pay for that much if you don't want, I lost count after 10" (or something to that effect)... I tell her that she's been working, and she still deserves fair pay. I pay for 16 dances and tip her an extra $60, and make my way out (I'm still feeling generous at this point and tip the DJ and a dancer who was standing by the DJ, just for the heck of it ).

    So ... what do y'all think? SS? Or is she expressing "real" interest? In all honesty, I'm not sure how much I'm buying it, but I was surprised when she actually asked for my number.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Quote Originally Posted by evh1980
    I pay for 16 dances and tip her an extra $60
    I wonder why she wanted your number?

    I could dissect this to pieces, but basically....SS

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Has she called you or texted you yet? I'd give it another day, and if you don't hear from her by then, I'd call it SS.

    With the way you treated her in the club, I'd say she is trying to cultivate a regular. If she calls to really just chat and nothing more, then you might actually have a stripper hitting on you.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    You are a great customer. She will probably call you from work and ask you to come see her again(at work). Basically, SS. Not that she doesn't like you, she proabably thinks you are very kind. She is just being smart by getting your number so she can secure a second visit from such a great customer.

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    Senior Member evh1980's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    I wonder why she wanted your number?

    I could dissect this to pieces, but basically....SS
    Not that I'm disagreeing with any of y'all ... but I'd love to hear the dissection

    Oh, and yeah, it's been 4 days now since this happened with no contact thus far - so I'm chalking it up to SS.

    Follow up question for the women though - is it common for y'all to ask for a custy's number if you think he's a decent guy and is well-paying? In truth, I guess that was the part that caught me by surprise. Granted, I've never been a dancer - but if it were me, I'd be pretty reserved about doing something like that, because it seems like it could be misinterpreted and/or cross boundaries...

    Just curious, I guess.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    I've gotten phone numbers from dancers who live three to six hours away from me. You think they gave them out because they wanted to hit a movie next weekend? Definitely SS.

    Of course, if you have any lingering doubts, just cut off the money next time you're in. That'll answer your question for sure, although you probably won't like the answer.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Senior Member evh1980's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish
    I've gotten phone numbers from dancers who live three to six hours away from me. You think they gave them out because they wanted to hit a movie next weekend? Definitely SS.
    no no no .... that was the whole point, she didn't give me *her* number, she asked for *mine*. I wouldn't have bothered posting over the former...

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    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    I will definitely ask for a guys number if I feel he could become a good regular. The whole married/kids question could simply be her finding out when to call, what to say if a woman answers etc.. Just me, but if I really thought I liked a guy I would immediately disconnect from him ITC, and would call him the very next day. Either way, best of luck to you.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Quote Originally Posted by evh1980
    no no no .... that was the whole point, she didn't give me *her* number, she asked for *mine*. I wouldn't have bothered posting over the former...
    That makes it even more obvious that its SS. Particularly if you haven't gotten a call within 24 hours.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    I forsee a text message that says the following:

    "I loved spending time with you the other night. You should come in and do it again! Love, StripperShit xxxoooxxxx"


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    There are a lot of variables at play here. How old are you? How old is she? Is she interested in you personally or has she sized you be a potential good spending regular?

    You'll just have to see and keep us informed.

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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    I think its safe to say that most anything that goes on in the club is business. To the extent that the dancer makes it feel otherwise means shes good at what she does ie: making you feel special but still extracting money from your wallet.

    Having said that, and based on the testimonies of many of the dancers here, romance can blossum but its rare as hens teeth. The money from you to her has to stop ITC. The dancer has to take the lead. Otherwise it is, as you alluded, SS.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    no no no .... that was the whole point, she didn't give me *her* number, she asked for *mine*. I wouldn't have bothered posting over the former...
    Very clearly SS.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Senior Member evh1980's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tina
    There are a lot of variables at play here. How old are you? How old is she? Is she interested in you personally or has she sized you be a potential good spending regular?

    You'll just have to see and keep us informed.
    In truth, I think the general sense from folks who have posted in this thread is probably most accurate (and confirms my original instincts) ... but since you asked, I'll answer your questions.

    Re: Age - she said she was 25, and I'm 26. Not sure about whether or not she's interested in me personally - I'd doubt it, since I've only met her the one time... but then ... I am male, and recognize that I often need to be bonked over the head with a 2x4 in order to know whether or not a woman is seriously interested in me My point being, unless it's painfully obvious, I'm likely to miss any subtleties that may be there. She did compliment me on my looks and smell and so on ... but I have a pretty thick skin for those types of compliments in the SC scene and easily write that off as SS.

    Anyway, I still seriously doubt she had any real interest, especially after others have pointed out that I spent a fair bit on her in addition to tipping the other dancers/staff she saw me interact with. I'd be much more inclined to believe that she just saw me as a particularly nice prospect for a regular. It's just that would have just expected her to have told me her schedule or maybe given me a phone number (not necessarily her personal one), instead of asking for mine. She entered it straight into a cell, too, and even asked me for my last name, which I also thought a bit odd.

    I guess it was those actions that threw me off, and I was curious about what folks had to say about it. I didn't know how much the 'norm' such actions are...

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    Senior Member GuyPOV's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    SS all the way. She probably sees you as an investment. It doesn't matter how she gets the money as long as she gets it. All of a sudden you get a text about her needing money or when are you coming to the club. So whenever you do show up you feel kind of obligated to talk/spend money on her.

    If she was really interested and not drunk, she should have begged you to come back and then asked for your number without dancing or even buy you a drink. My situation sounds a lot like yours. Strippers love me because I'm low maintenance and spend money. I'm always given numbers without asking. I have never called one time. I love strippers so I'm not complaining but you have to be careful. This can become a very expensive relationship.

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR
    I think its safe to say that most anything that goes on in the club is business. To the extent that the dancer makes it feel otherwise means shes good at what she does ie: making you feel special but still extracting money from your wallet.

    Having said that, and based on the testimonies of many of the dancers here, romance can blossum but its rare as hens teeth. The money from you to her has to stop ITC. The dancer has to take the lead. Otherwise it is, as you alluded, SS.

    FBR
    9 times out of 10 there is very little PERSONAL in BUSINESS no matter how sincere a dancer may come off to you. Many of us have been fooled...Even if she does meet for OTC play it usually means she is playing several guys and or just a straight out ho... Vey hard to overcome the perceptions that "custies" just want to fuck the dancers and dancers just want $$ from the custies, so if you are fortunate enough to find a play for pay gal-leave it at that and know she is likely a "working girl" and or playing others also.

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    SS

    I don't even have to read the thread. If you have to really ask yourself if it's SS, then it's SS.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    ^^Yeah.

    But I read the thread. And I think it's SS. It's pretty common for girls to ask for the number of a guy they think might make a good regular. Then she can call you and tell you how much she misses you, and how slow it is at the club tonight, and how bored she is and needs you to come in so she can have some fun, etc. If you like her and enjoy her company, great. Roll with it. If you don't want to spend so much money on her regularly, roll with that.

    If she DOES happen to call and wants a Real Date, lucky you If you like her, roll with it.

    Just keep your expectations in check, whatever happens.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Quote Originally Posted by evh1980
    I wasn't really interested.
    lie.

    Quote Originally Posted by evh1980
    so I tell her I'd be happy to just talk with her for a while, and that I'd still pay for her time. She seems a bit surprised that I'm being so nice to her,
    That's because, judging all tx girls by katrine, she's probably been working her ass off and is happy to get a paid break.

    Quote Originally Posted by evh1980
    omelette bar,
    WHAT?! That ROCKS.

    Quote Originally Posted by evh1980
    So all that goes by (at some point we end up tipping her on-stage friend and a DJ) Towards the end of the evening, she asks me for my number. At no point during the evening did I make any references to anything OTC (not something I ever do anyway), and generally kept my attitude in "SC mode" ... where I take most everything with a grain of salt and/or treat "interest" as general SS...
    Quote Originally Posted by evh1980
    and just says she'd like to call me and talk some time.
    This only gets hairy if you secretly feel that you are deserved a certain level of interaction because of your need to mention the below quote. However, I just think you're sweating it because you really want us to tell you it's not stripper shit. (I make this statement based on your over-justification.)

    Quote Originally Posted by evh1980
    I pay for 16 dances and tip her an extra $60, and make my way out (I'm still feeling generous at this point and tip the DJ and a dancer who was standing by the DJ, just for the heck of it ).
    Look man, relaaaaxxxxxxx. She's just a girl.

    If she calls, awesome. Bullshit with her. Intentions (illicited or not) are discovered over time. Half of the enjoyment in this is to treat it like any other new situation, stay the course with your life and enjoy getting to know someone new.

    But just a heads up. The emphasis on YOUR number is useless. A dancer had a peg board of custy's phone numbers up till I showed her how to quickly put contacts into her phone . And getting her number is also meaningless. Dancer or not, believe it or not.

    You went to a club. You had fun. You paid. Don't let the fact that you paid for physical and emotional entertainment cloud your clarity on the situation. Words are meaningless. Just don't do anything you don't want to do.

    Remember, even if it turns out to be just SS. It was still FUN.

    And that's what it's aaaaallll about. BOP.

    Mast.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Quote Originally Posted by laplover69
    9 times out of 10 there is very little PERSONAL in BUSINESS no matter how sincere a dancer may come off to you. Many of us have been fooled...Even if she does meet for OTC play it usually means she is playing several guys and or just a straight out ho... Vey hard to overcome the perceptions that "custies" just want to fuck the dancers and dancers just want $$ from the custies, so if you are fortunate enough to find a play for pay gal-leave it at that and know she is likely a "working girl" and or playing others also.

    Hahaha. Figured it out eh?
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Don't overthink it. Someone asked you for your number. Whoopity-fucking-doo.

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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Quote Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan
    I forsee a text message that says the following:

    "I loved spending time with you the other night. You should come in and do it again! Love, StripperShit xxxoooxxxx"
    OMG, I've received that text, do they post that in the dressing room for all you girls?

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    Hahaha. Figured it out eh?

    Well we can say that the roots of the "stereotypes" of strippers are sometimes indeed true.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Quote Originally Posted by laplover69
    Well we can say that the roots of the "stereotypes" of strippers are sometimes indeed true.
    it's not a "stereotype" that dancers pretend to like customers for the money. It's part of the job description.

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    Default Re: SS? Or real?

    Quote Originally Posted by laplover69
    Well we can say that the roots of the "stereotypes" of strippers are sometimes indeed true.
    Really? I was thinking more "The custy's ability to manufacture a relationship is often out of control but never long lived"
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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