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Thread: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    I had to figure out something to tell my parents about why I have the money to consider buying a house even though I am supposed to be a struggling artist so I told them I was a bartender. They were way more shocked than I thought they would be...they're calling every day now to see if I'm safe and if I ever have to talk to nasty men and so on... They're not threatening to cut me off, but they have told me that what I'm doing wouldn't have been considered "appropriate for a young girl" when they were my age. They also think I'm "brave" for doing it.

    Anyway, if being a bartender is that big a deal to them, I shudder to think how they would feel if they knew the real story. I'm 26, but I guess to them I'll always be a baby.

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    Veteran Member The one and only Raven's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    Wow... I know how you feel. I know my parents question how a part time bartender/waitress can afford to live and prosper. My mom feels like it is a "dangerous" job and that bar folk are dirty, trashy people. I don't think I will ever be able to tell them for fear that they would never talk to me again. I don't plan on dancing forever but for right now, it's what works for me.

    Do you ever plan on telling them? I hate lying to them but I feel like I am protecting them, too. I don't want them to feel that they raised me wrong because they are great parents and taught me to be independent and self sufficient. Hmmmm....

    Krystal

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    Veteran Member metal_n_mitsu's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    Girls I know TOTALLY how you feel. My parents are MORMON. They freak out if I come over wearing a shirt that doesn't have sleeves....This could get interesting. But I've decided that you can't have a relationship without honesty....but it can wait a while right??
    MISTRESS ALEXA

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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    ^ I'm with you. I would never be able to tell my parents! They think I work at an adult bookstore and THAT freaks them out. My mom keeps asking me when I'm going to get a different job. Actually, my dad doesn't really have anything to say on the matter. He's not religious like my mom.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Veteran Member Cameo's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    When I'm done and moved on from the stripper business I'll tell them. Like when I live 2 states away, lol!

  6. #6
    Cally
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    Im so lucky my mom is cool. She knows what I do, she supports what I do and she even said she would love to come watch me in Miss Nude Canada but she said it wouldnt be right to watch her daughter strip naked on stage lol. So she said shes just going to send me best wishes. My mom is the coolest shit ever, we're more like sisters. My dad on the other hand.. strict Italian, I value my life. What he doesnt know wont hurt him.

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    ^^if your mom wants to go, she should! Maybe she could just watch part of the competition with you in it. Besides, depending on seats, it's not like she'd see a whole lot of graphic detail on your poonanie.

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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    My parents don't know either. I told them that I work as a waitress at a nightclub. My brother doesn't know either and he said one time "maybe one night my friends and I can come down where you work and get some drinks from you". I said to him "oh, they don't allow friends and family to come where you work because they want you working, not goofing off with your friends". He then said "well, you don't have to tell them" so I said "I can't get risk getting fired". So he was like ok. But yeah, they'd freak out too. I plan on telling them, one day, when I'm completely done with it, like 10 yrs after I'm done with it. Parents worry, especially mine and I'd be afraid they'd blame themselves thinking they did something wrong with raising me. Sometimes I think when you become an adult there's just some things you don't tell your parents, just like there's things that they probably haven't ever told their parents for the same reasons.

    The way I see it is, stripping is an honest job, it's in a public place and it's not like we're out on the street corner selling our body or dealing drugs where we'd run the risk of getting killed or going to jail. If you told them they'd call you everynight after you got home to make sure you got home and pester you to death on "when are you going to quit?" or "is that money you have there from dancing naked for some dirty old man?" You know you'd get grief the entire time you stripped, it wouldn't be worth it!!!!

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    Veteran Member The one and only Raven's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    I do have to add that I told my 18 year old brother last week. It was too funny. I said, I have something important to tell you.... "Are you pregnant again??" No, but for the last two and a half years I have been living a lie! (insert tears here.) "You're a stripper, aren't you!!!" He claims he knew it all along but never wanted to ask. I feel so much better that he knows. He's even wanted to get into male dancing and I offered to help him out (as long as I am not there to watch or vice versa) He swore not to tell my parents, so hopefully, he stays true. I feel like it has brought us closer together, but still, I think telling mom and dad would do just the opposite. I'm thinking death bed, or maybe I will just take it to the grave.

    Krystal

  10. #10
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    same here! i told them i was a bartender...which at the time was true, lol; i started working in my current club as a bartender. oops, i guess i "forgot" to tell them when, two months after being hired, i switched to dancing.

    they're uber-conservative fundies (i'm actually christian too, just a LOT more liberal about everything). My mother flipped out when i told her i was even working in a bar, and now harangues me every time i speak with her about how i should get out of "sinful employment" and work in an office.

    so yeah...not going to say anything about dancing. my father would think it was funny (parents are divorced) and would still be there for me...but i'd rather not even tell him because there's a risk it might slip out to my mother. Not that she supports me or is ever there for me in any way...so losing the "relationship" would be no loss to me...but life's just easier without added drama, you know?

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    Featured Member Danni's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    I have a pretty uncoventional family situation but I was never too worried about what my parent would think. We (my sister and I started dancing the same time) took mom out to a club got a few shots in her and then told her

    She was a bit shocked but got over it and is cool about it. Never bothered telling my dad because I knew he would just find out but I knew he wouldn't say much about it.

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    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    i hear ya, grace. my mother would freak out if she knew that i used to dance. although she's very smart, my mom has this naive innocence about her....she never suspected anything, as far as i know. my family is very religious and conservative as well, so it's definately not something they would accept. however, i did tell my brother and sister. while they didn't like it (and made their views gently clear), they didn't give me shit or tell my parents. thankfully, me and my siblings can tell one another pretty much everything...and we support one another. so that's some comfort. although, my sis thinks i should tell my mom someday.....but i don't see that happening.

    i agree with leogirl...there are some things that parents are not meant to know, and these are things that they might think they want to know, but really don't. grace, if you want to buy a house, then go ahead and do so, and tell them you're a successful bartender. ironically, that's what i told my mom, and she believed it. if you really think the truth will cause a rift (or just general problems that you'd rather not deal with) between you and your parents, then don't mention the dancing.
    "Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days."

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    Veteran Member Paisley's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    ^^^My mom is also naively innocent. And it is kind of strange considering she has worked as a nightshift, ER nurse that she would be so naive.

    My parents are not really religious but I know that they would freak out about my safety. I was a bartender and when I told them that they were all concerned about me. I am just not going to say a peep.


    "That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth!" ~Jayne



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    Featured Member blondi553's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    my mom got my W-2 in the mail with the name of the club BLATENTLY on it and asked me about it......but strippers dont get W-2's DUH!!!!! (b/c i did waitress before i started dancing) soooooooooo i only told her i waitressed there for a couple of months but i was done with it lol

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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    Parents always feel because they are your parents that they know best and that their role in their childrens lives is to lecture them about whatever they do. It doesn't matter how old their children are, they will always feel this way.

    The best way to deal with the situation is to just live your life. if that means at some point they must know the truth, so be it. Eventually they will come to just accept that that is your job. They don't understand the business so it is human nature to put down an unconventional way of making money that one doesn't understand.

    Plus family and friend are always downers whenever someone close to them takes a path off the mainstream. If it's not dancing it would be something else they wouldn't like.If one has parents who are entrepreneurial and made their living in unconventional ways and became well off from it, those types of parents are more likely to accept their daughter making above average earnings in employment that goes against societal norms.

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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    how did your bro know all along

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    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    wow i can relate to alot of people here!

    my dad always told me to use my brain not my looks for money(even though he said i should be a model..hes such a hyrprocite! i guess he means just dont use my 'sexuality' for money...) and he told me he'd never want me to 'sell my body' or work in a 'titty bar'.

    my mom is conseritive too...shes always pulling my shirt up or fixing my tank top if my bra happens to be showing.

    and i guess what some girls said here, they dont wanna tell their parents because they dont want their parents to beielve they done a bad job on raising their daughter..even tho they did an okay/good enough job.

    i just really dont wanna disapoint my parents and for them to give me shit all the time. and and most parents dont really wanna see their daughter as a sex object(so to speak).

    i love my parents, but there are just somethings u dont tell em, for the sake of their own good(and yours!). i mean, them as parents didnt tell US everything when we were little kids for own our sake/proctected innocense, right?(babys come from storks, santa close and the tooth fairy are real,etc). ]

    its not like i DONT kare bout my parents that i wudnt tell them, but its because i DO care about my parents that i wouldnt tell them. besides, i know my parents are really against anything in the sex industry..soo...haha yeah i think ill just tell them i work in a office or something..or a bank. thats always 'professsinal'.
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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    Take it from someone who thought it was better to stop lie-ing to her folks and told them.... and subsequently has an estranged relationship with them because I can't talk with them about anything anymore (nor do I feel supported and loved by them due to my adult choice).

    ALOT of parents like living the lie. They like being in the dark and the old "ignorance is bliss" is true for them. The truth will hurt them, you and your relationship with them. Don't do it even if you don't like lie-ing to them ... unless you are ready to deal with the repurcussions.


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    Veteran Member Aine's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    My mom knew I was gonna dance before I even started cause I told her I wanted too. She never had a problem with it, though she worried a lot but tried to not express the worry too much. My dads been dead since I was two so I never had to tell him but he was UBER religious so I know he wouldn't have liked it at all. One of my brothers has seen me dance, when he came to visit. Brought him to the club, and bought a few dances for him from some of my friends. He got to see exactly what it is I did an didnt do, and of course reported back to my mom, which actually put her mind at ease. Everyone in my family knows I danced. The only person who ever said anything negative was my other brother, and he's uber religious too and told me he would pray for me, told him to save his prayers for himself cause he needed them more than I did...lol. I've been retired for awhile now, my kids know I was a dancer, and now that I have my pole they have seen me in action on it...lol. They all have played around on it too though and I do believe my youngest is a future pole master as she is a natural at it. She did an invert today and freaked me out when I saw her do it...lol. To them it's just fun and it's a great way to stay in shape too. Anyway, I'm just really thankful my mom was cool with my dancing, it makes such a difference when you can be honest with them and have them be supportive of you.

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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    I told my mom when I was 18. She was a little disappointed, but said,"Frankly, nothing you do shocks me anymore." She tried to tell me to work in an office, blah, blah, blah...But when she saw the money, it was different. If she called me and I was not at work, she would be like,"Aren't you supposed to be working? What are doing just sitting at home?"

    I tried to take the advice of her and other family members and leave stripping. I am unhappy and broke. I realized now that God made you what you are destined to do. No one can stop that. I never should have stopped. It made me happy, and I think those that wanted me to stop were either uneducated about stripper life (like we all have pimps or on drugs), or were jealous and haters. Your parents may have raised you, but they don't have to live your life. Only we can live our lives for us. If it makes me happy, no one can tell me any different.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    I don't think my parents would disown me if they knew...they were pretty crazy themselves when they were younger, in their own way. But I'm their baby, and they'll always have a double standard for me.

    It's just funny to me that my cover story was supposed to make them feel more secure about me -- "Hey, I'm making money for a change! In a normal respectable way! How 'bout that!" -- and ended up freaking them out. If they knew I danced they would worry themselves SICK.

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    Veteran Member Aprilleigh's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    Quote Originally Posted by Cameo
    When I'm done and moved on from the stripper business I'll tell them. Like when I live 2 states away, lol!
    yep! hear hear.
    i told my mum i was a promotion model years ago and she freaked out coz i was working in a venue with....OMG!.....alcohol!
    now she thinks i'm a 'doorgirl' at a club. i think she knows it's a mens club but we don't talk about things like that do we......?
    Appearing at Dreams Gentlemen's Club, Melbourne

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    Member biancak's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    Thankfully my mother took it like a pinch of salt but said she'd prefer to tell her friends that I worked in some science lab. I would never tell my dad though as he has been in the navy forever and is pretty strict on things like that (being only daughter and all).
    Some people are just so closed minded you know. lol

  24. #24
    Senior Member bite's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    This is something that has been very much on my mind lately too. I want to tell them only really for my own benefit - because it's very uncomfortable having a secret like this from the people I love most. I can't really predict what their reaction would be. I've been trying to weight up both sides of the argument....

    Reasons to tell them:
    * dishonesty doesn't feel good
    * they'd understand a lot more about me and my life and maybe we'd be closer

    Reasons not to tell them:
    * they would worry themselves to death
    * they would lose respect for me
    * they'd most likely be very pissed off
    * they'd blame themselves for failing as parents
    * we might fall out big time and maybe we'd be less close

    Its such a risk. I wish there was a way to find out how they'd take it and then decide whether or not to tell them.
    I think a lot of you are right when you say that by keeping quiet, you're protecting them. Lying isn't necessarily wrong in every context. I think by keeping it a secret I'm serving the greater good.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: damn...now I REALLY can't tell my parents

    So glad I am not alone here! I told my mom that I bartend at a topless club....she pitched a fit about that for a minute, then got over it. She is a skin care tech, and I have sent several co-workers to her....she says to me "Wow, they're such nice girls considering, and I didn't even notice they were strippers" (like they have some compulsion to remove clothing everywhere!ha!) "but YOU can't do that!" . I was so angry about this that I almost told her then and there, just to defend our "good stripper name"!

    So...I guess I keep telling her I bartend. My lil sister knows, and has promised to take the secret to her grave, but like some of you have said, it hurts having to lie to a parent.
    But also, it is easier than hurting thier feelings, right?

    I have decided though, that if she ever flat out asks me if I am dancing, I will be honest with her. I am not ashamed of it, I am proud even, and being the age I am I shouldn't be feeling like a teenager hiding a secret. Right?

    ~B

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