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Thread: oh god do i need advice.

  1. #1
    Tart
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    Default oh god do i need advice.

    Okay here is the deal. I work in a VERY uptight and upscale club in my city. There is zero tolerance for fucked up shit.Although it does go on ., if found out you will be canned.

    I do very much love working there. I get a good hourly , I get paid on time..I make no less then 500 a night ( whether its before or after tip out ). I have no issues with really any of the staff..management or girls . Its easy to make a grand a night there. I love LOVE love the way it is set up.

    My issue is im friends with a few girls there. Most of whom I talk to a lot outside of the club enviroment.

    One girl that I do adore very much, is sorta pushing me ..well make that shoving me in a direction I cannot go in.

    I understand her frustration with going home weekly with 2 grand to 2500. I understand that because when you are use to making double that weekly you acquire a lifestyle and in this club its more then easy to drive a luxury car, livein the best area in the best style and have the best clothing. its almost competive to be better then the next on the benz or bmw.

    At the same time., there is more to life then giving a fuck what another has.

    Thats another rant.

    Back to the point., in her frustrations she's wanting to do outside activites. IE meeting men after work, not fucking them but doing everything else. to her its easier and quicker. Which to some degree yes it is.

    I have issues though with the fact that she wants me to do all the talking or to help sell these situations. I sorta feel like im being... well no fuck that I am being used to sell her OTC acitives. The reason Im saying this is because when we are working together im asked or expected to help push these guys into meeting, to staying longer..and now today its " ask them to tip us"

    well to be honest I dont want to ask them to tip me. I get tips as it is for being sorta passive and honest..giving and caring. I cannot be overly flirty... demanding and slutty. I cannot do it. its not part of who i am nor apart of my 'hustle."

    I love this girl to death but i cannot be doing someone elses dirty work. Im too absorbed in what is going on in my life right now and my priority is me.

    With the OTC shit, well heres the bit I need advice on . because the rest I can just distance myself or simply not sit at the same table she is at. its easy.

    But the OTC stuff., I feel like Icannot say no enough. She wants to work at a "spa" now...okay but not for me. When I state no way jose my ass isnt going tojail ..i get the " you are being silly they dont bust the girls" bullshit bullshit.

    and its like I dont want to lose the friendship i do have with her but its only a matter of fucking time before my ass gets caught up.

    I have a loving and caring significant other. I have two beautiful wonderful children and a job i want to remain at.

    So here's what I need to know., do I say something to management because , my worry is ...the entire you are the company you keep. so if they figure out she's doing this and im doing doubles in the VIP rooms...wont they assume as they should ..that im in on it too? I mean considering everything why would one girl who's opposed like myself hang with a girl that isnt opposed to meeting outside of work. It just wouldnt make sense to them.

    I dont want to name names...but my god ... What do i do. I feel they should be aware of it just incase. Im an honest dance to most extent one can be given the occupation.

    & as we all know it only takes one girl to shut the entire fucking thing down.

  2. #2
    Cally
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    As much as you want to be friends with her I think shes going to end up hurting you in the end. So I think you best bet is to diss assosiate(is that a word?) yourself from her. You dont want to get dragged down with her and lose your job. Dont rat on her because then you'll be the 'tattletale'. Just distance yourself from her so when she gets busted she doesnt bring you down with her.

  3. #3
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    Friends respect that you dont want to be dragged into their drama and/or illegal activites. If she cant hang with you keeping away from that shit, and her when she does that shit, she isnt a friend. She needs to suck it up and be thankful that she isnt flipping burgers like a lot of people are.
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    What Paige said.
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    Tart, do not go along with this girl for any reason. Bob and Nick do NOT put up with this shit and while I was there, 2 girls got canned for OTC activities...or the implication that they would do OTC. I've known a few girls who would meet their regulars OTC, but it was very hush-hush and as long as it didn't involve me, I didn't care. But, by you "helping" her sell, it will get you canned, even if you aren't the one doing the meeting. By you working with her, it can be assumed that you are possibly doing what she's doing. It's hard, because if you say something, and they fire her...she'll know you said something. If you don't say anything and they find out...guilty by association (maybe).

    You might want to have a sit-down with Bob when she's not there and tell him about this predicament. He's always been super wonderful and he won't fly off the handle.

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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    Well since you asked for me directly in the thread title, I figure I'll chime in.



    Ok, seriously,

    I have a loving and caring significant other. I have two beautiful wonderful children and a job i want to remain at.
    Pretty much sums it up.

    Don't get caught up in the drama. It will only affect you. Damned if you do, Damned if you don't mentality. Just breathe a sigh of releif, and begin seeking a new friend. If she brings it up to you, don't just say no, tell her directly : "Look, I love you like a sister, but I do not want to risk my personal life on this. I am ok with how I am doing. No."

    Treat her like that annoying guy that keeps asking for your number.

    My dad always told me: If you want to feel thin, hang around fatter people. If you want to BE thin, hang around thinner people, and share in their lifestyle and activities.

    In your case, If you want to feel like an honest dancer, surround yourself with shady ones. If you want to BE an honest dancer, phase the shady dancers out of your life and only spend time with the dancers that hold themselves to the same high standards you hold yourself to.

    You're better than this. She is NOT your friend.

    Mast.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  7. #7
    Veteran Member big_daddyII's Avatar
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    Friends don't make friends do what they don't want to do. If she is your friend she wont push you into this after you tell her you don't want to do it and that you have too much to lose over it.
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    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    I'm having a hard time with her being upset at bringing home 2grand to 2500 per week. While she might be used to making more, the business might not be able to sustain such earnings at this point in time. Rather than do OTC activities, couldn't she adjust her lifestyle? 8-10 grand per month is pretty decent, and surely she could pay her mortgage and car payments on it....sure, she might not be able to buy gazillions in designer clothes, but dang. By doing the OTC activities, isn't she risking her current income if she gets fired?

    You definately should not help her sell her activites. And I agree with Cally...distance yourself from her. If you're happy where you are, don't risk it. If she doesn't understand that, then as Paige said, she isn't a true friend.
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  9. #9
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    Tart's trouble will be guilt by association. If she does doubles with this OTC queen, and her partner's activities are eventually uncovered, she's right to be worried about appearances and people--management, cops--concluding she was involved in the OTC parties.

    So she can't just say "no" to these extras.

    As others have said: She has to dis-associate from this chick, including, I'd say, being her favorite VIP partner.

    Worse, Tart should consider dropping a dime on this girl for the good of the club and its well-deserved reputation for top-shelf, LEGAL entertainment in Chicago.

  10. #10
    Sitri
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    Well, actually you don't need advice. You already know the answer. You just need the conviction to do the right thing... as usual.

  11. #11
    Tart
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    I just really wanted to know if I should not so much as rat her out as clear up my name. Which is what venus was telling me ( good damn thing we know the same people. )

    My first thoughts were to go to bob ( bob being the good 'cop' ) I think he would be more understanding and at least greatful that I came to him and attempted to difuse the issue.

    I dont really "help" her sell as much as I go " oh yah sure sure that sounds awesome" as she looks at me like " hey i bet icould rock his world"

    I'dlike to " think" she's my friend but honestly it seems more like the makings of that " girl" that is in the club making money for a long time ... all of a sudden someone else comes in and makes her money and so she decides to join forces to double her profits and in the mean time have a phony friendship formed. To suit her needs.

    I think im just going to have to have a sit down with management.

    agh.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    Be a good friend and tell her exactly how it is, and exactly what she is risking by this behavior, your friendship included.

    If you really do like this person as much as you say you do, you should speak up about her self destructive behavior. At least convince her to quit the club before burning that bridge.

    She will likely accuse you of being selfish, but really she is the one who is trying to drag you down with her. A true friend will keep herself strong so that she can help her friend after her crash and burn, not go down in flames with her.


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  13. #13
    Tart
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    I agree and I am going to talk to her about it. I think in person would be better then over the phone. But maybe im wrong about that too lol.

    I doubt she's going to take my advice but at least I tried.

    As far as the other comment about the 2500 a week. At the club I work at if you work 3-4 days and actually "work" then its almost impossible not to hit that mark. Due to the high work rates etc going home with 300 is a bad bad night. while it seems selfish, and it is on many levels...you are entertaining..dancing your ass off and taking your clothing off.

    I do think everyone that does this and makes what we make should be greatful. And in my opinon most are. There are a few out there that think that they should be making 5 grand just to be spoken to and those girls usually turn out to be horrible people.

    The prettiest people do the ugliest things on the road from rags to riches. ( a lil' Kanye west for that ass. )

  14. #14
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    There are people in your life who boost you up and people in your life who drag you down. Don't get caught up by the second type, you are better than that!

  15. #15
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    [QUOTE=Tart]
    I do think everyone that does this and makes what we make should be greatful. And in my opinon most are. There are a few out there that think that they should be making 5 grand just to be spoken to and those girls usually turn out to be horrible people.
    QUOTE]

    I don't think I should be making that, but I wish I did!

    But seriously, we're lucky. Overall, this is a great job, and this girl needs a reality check, which won't be long in coming if she gets in too deep. Don't hang out with people like this, a friend like this chick doesn't sound worth what you've got.

  16. #16
    Tart
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    Yah so I have to work with her tonight. she just called to say she was coming in. Ugh. I have a feeling im going to have to have the convo asap.

    The other night ( i forgot to mention this in the orginal post...)

    she had a gown that she bought off of another girl at work. She wanted the same gown only in another color. She told me she has a bad rep with the costume lady that sold it and basically said " go over there and say you bought it from X and that you want the teal one jus tlike it ".

    My point is why the fuck do i have to do it.

    I just disappeared to get my paycheck but later the next day she was like " oh you should call Costume lady and ask her ".

    I have never bought shit from the costume lady let alone spoken to her.

    I feel used already and i've done nothing.

  17. #17
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    ^ Which costume lady is it? If its the older, heavyweight one...I hate her gowns. Fucking spent $95 on a gown that was sewn like shit. I had to take it to a steamstress and have her re-do the seams (they weren't all "fully" sewn).

    Its pretty bad that she has a bad rep from the costume lady. That means that she's most likely not paying for her gowns after they're made...at least that seemed to be the only thing that would give a bad rep with the costume lady. I would be very careful about ordering any gowns from the costume lady for her. It would suck for you to pay for a gown you don't want because she doesn't pay you back.

  18. #18
    Tart
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    I think you are thinking of "samantha" samantha is ummm... more like a sam if you catch my drift.

    She was talking about Pam.

    Accourding to her Pam just yelled at her and they no longer get along.

    Who knows the real story though. Def not moi.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    If she can't make it on that kind of income I hafta wonder where the money is going? Maybe drugs which could lead her to sell her soul and sacrifice you without a second thought

  20. #20
    Tart
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    its not drugs

  21. #21
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: oh god do i need advice.

    When you live in an uber-wealthy area and drive a pricey car and buy lots and lots of "toys"...you live up to your means. And it sounds like this dancer is used to living a lifestyle of $15-$20,000 a month...it's hard to cut your income in 1/2 and "get used" to it right away. Doesn't mean that she's doing drugs...just means that she didn't save any money.

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