Had an argument about this tonight. Would like to hear others' stories or opinions. I'm reluctant to say more as so not to influence your responses...
Had an argument about this tonight. Would like to hear others' stories or opinions. I'm reluctant to say more as so not to influence your responses...
Yes everyone changes over time and after experiences we have from day to day.
“Since the ACLU is trying to take away the word ‘Christmas,’ we thought it would be a great time to send the group a Christmas card this year. If everybody did this, they would be buried in mail.”
absoulutly.. people change..somtimes for the better....sometimes you are left like 'WTF'' Who is this new person?
Never look down on anyone, unless you are helping them up!
I think it really depends on the situation. I think that people, upon reaching adulthood, have a personality that has a core base, so to speak, comprised of habits, beliefs, values, behaviors, etc. As a person continues to grow, life experiences may change a person for the better or worse. Sometimes a bump may appear in life, and things get really bad for a person. Consequently, that person may do things not in his or her nature just to deal with the bad things. However, if that person wants to change and move beyond it....recongize and deal with the problem, that is, then I think people can change.
Also, some people have "awakenings" of some type (for example drug addicts hitting their own personal rock-bottoms), but again, this requires an acknowledgement of the problem and the resolve to work through it, the desire to change.
As people go through life, they are continually learning and adapting to other people and experiences. This may or may not change them. Some people go through life repeating the same actions and making the same mistakes, not learning or adapting to anything, knowingly or unknowingly.
In summary, yes, people can change, but they have to want to, and they usually first have to acknowledge the reason that they have to change. People can't "change" other people....they can guide them, but it's ultimately left up to the individual.
"Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days."
~Che Guevara, "The Motorcycle Diaries"
Yes, I think some do quite dramaticly. Everyone grows to some extent, just some more than others and some more extremely than others and at different rates blah. Sometimes it's not a case of one person changing, but more that we all grow in different directions. I have seen some people totally change though some for better some for worse.
Hmm, examples, I guess theres a couple of born again Christians in there who changed the day they found god. Um, various friends who've got hooked on drugs, or those who always used drugs or alcahol and then gave it up... all the friends who I used to hang out with until they all started feeling old, lol. (Alot of people do that "growing up' thing ultra seriously (-and a couple of times ive seen people change due to events -something lifechanging literally...
Fundamentally, a person does not change. You have certain personality traits, individual needs, and ways that you think as an individual.
That said, a person can learn to resist those "bad" behavior patterns and learn to do those things that won't cause hurt to themselves. Things like being an alcoholic or drug user, or sex addict, or just a person who makes bad decisions on who they associate with for friends, or not being able to control your temper.
So you are the person who you are. The question is, "Can you control your temptations and behavior?"
So, a liar is always fundamentally a liar and a cheater is always fundamentally a cheater.
It depends on what you mean, but people CAN change.
And people do change over the course of life.
Yes, people do change...but only by their choice and hard work (or lack of it).
Not really. Sure, it happens. And sure, people's habits and view and outlooks change over time. But, people never turn into someone else. Sure, there are exceptions, but personality stays the same.
If you think school is hard, try being stupid.
Nope,
"A leopard doesn't change his spots." People put on acts to get what they want/need when they're not good enough to get something on their own merit.
Just my 2 cents.
When what a person truly wants changes. The person will change to align themselves with their wants. This is a lot bigger than it appears/sounds.
However you, being the outside individual, should never place your trust in their words. For only time and action can truly show a person's true motives.
Mast.
People are not ruled by their memories.
I totally agree with Maxi and Sitri. Nothing else I can add to what they said.
I think that the actual person doesn't change. S/he may change the way that s/he reacts to things. However, unless you get a railroad spike through your head, the core personality is going to stay the same. For example, I'm always going to be a stubborn, outgoing person and ready to argue. People with addictive personalities will change their addictions but not their need for them.
I'm pretty skeptical of people who talk about how much they've changed. In my experience, the people who actually change just do it. People who try to draw attention to it and make it very clear that they have/are trying/are in the process of changing are generally more talk than action (like my aunt who is addicted to self help books, or my abusive ex who never apologized for all the shit he put me through and rather tried to get me to join the Forum so I'd see his justifications of things).





A saying I've alwys liked (because it seems to hold true):
"A woman marries a man expecting that she can change him and she can't; a man marries a woman hoping that she'll never change and she does."
Yes, people change over time, but seldom in response to a "you need to change for me" command.
"He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"
If someone's personality has gone through a drastic change, that can't be a good thing. Like multiple personality disorder.
But someone having a religious epiphany, a fat person finally getting in shape, a smoker quitting and abuser who controls his/her to abuse others etc. Sure that can happen.
My mom went through a big change back in 2000. She was involved in a car accident and injured very badly. She is mostly fine right now, but lost some of the use of her left arm. She doesn't like to go out much any more, and is a lot more afraid of even little things like germs and stresses out over big stuff like terrorism.
This is the same woman who on a whim took a vacation to South America w/o a tour guide, w/o knowing the language, or even having an intinerary. She flew to Rio de Janero and just traveled around the countryside via train for a month. Now it is an ordeal for her to go to the grocery store in the neighborhood that she has lived in for almost 30 years.
So, yes, people change and sometimes it is drastic.
Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!
They only change one their own and for their own. Like if they feel forced to change or if they ONLY change for somebody else, the results wont be pure.
I think people have the ability to change. Changing naturally through maturity is one thing. Bigger changes I believe have to be a choice. People have to want to change.




IMO people do change.If their surroundings,life circumstances,people around them and their own experiences and tastes change as well as their age,looks and other outside and inside influences change,so will the people.They might be big noticeable changes or very subtle ones.Some things change without people realizing them ,and some are more pronounced,like when people HAVE to make changes.But to make a really big change one has to want for that to happen.





Your details were very vague but the thread has taken an opinion that to change one must have negative qualities . So do you think people who presume themselves to be good would like to change to bad ? Some people change from good qualities to great ones . So I guess people can and do change it wont however erase the past if it is good or bad but nonetheless it is change . What did I just say ? Cant change it now .



Well said. And sometimes change means leaving HIM or her.Originally Posted by xbloodydewdropx
Just read my signature. =)





agreed. people won't change for anyone else. once someone honestly puts their mind to changing, they will. a cheater, for example, will stop cheating they day they choose not to... (an honest choice, for themselves and noone else).Originally Posted by VenusGoddess





Yes, people change. When I was a child, I was painfully shy and had very few friends. I'm still shy when I meet new people, but I've become more outgoing as I've gotten older.
But when it comes to bad habits such as abusing alcohol, doing drugs, or smoking, people have to WANT to change themselves and do it on their own.
In answer to my own question I've discovered, yes. Absolutely.
The object of psychotic obsession.
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