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Thread: Falling out of love?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member JettaNyx's Avatar
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    Sad Falling out of love?

    ok i need some advice from the guys and ladies here, i'm no good with relationships. for the last..almsot two years i've been falling out of love with my husband, i've tried alot of methods to re-kindle the relationship but it hasnt worked. now; i havnt spoken to my husband about this..we had a similar problem when we first got together and he just kinda broke down crying.

    i know he loves me...theres no question in my mind about it. but here are the cons...hes very very bad sexualy, i've tried to work with him..books, porno videos, verbal instructions he actualy ends up hurting me more often than not (its like i married an ox), he wont take care of his health (typical woman complaint..but seriously his life plan is to be dead in 10 years), he does the usual thing of never complementing me..etc etc. the main problem is we are finding our interests seperating...hes a big time gamer and needs to be around people, i'm happy alone in a room with a book and he won't stop bitching about it. i'm jut not sure what to do..we've been together 6 years now...i dont want to just throw that away but at the same time i'm rather unhappy and not sure what else i can do about our relationship (we have discussed all these things already and he hasnt changed).


    any ideas?

  2. #2
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Falling out of love?

    i get the feeling you're looking for permission to leave him. if you've tried, you have nothing in common, you're unhappy, the bedroom sucks, you're not really friends... (and you don't have PMS and are not just having 'one of those days')...

    looks like you already know what you should do.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Falling out of love?

    Have you changed at all to try to meet him half-way and he's just not trying? Did you marry young? Maybe you two could try brand new interests out? There's always counseling. Has he always had these habits or is this new?
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: Falling out of love?

    what about a certified sex therapist to help with the bedroom problem? they are trained to help couples that are having a hard time. also, counceling is good. and, as bella said, try compromising. if things don't work out after all these attempts, you can still leave the situation. but, since you're married, it might be worth it to try all the things you can. but only you can make that decision.
    "Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days."

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  5. #5
    Sitri
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    Default Re: Falling out of love?

    you need to go to a marriage counselor or at least pick up some of the books. It is possible that both of you have different outlooks on what you want out of life and how you live life. The things you need to make you happy may not be what he wants and vice versa.

    You have to determine if those ways are compatable. Life is too short to spend it trying to get someone else to change or to change yourself. You just end up compromised and unhappy.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Falling out of love?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sitri
    You have to determine if those ways are compatable. Life is too short to spend it trying to get someone else to change or to change yourself. You just end up compromised and unhappy.
    Agreed. Sometimes it's better to cut your losses. I know I am prone to leave more than stay, but that's the reason why - I'd rather try for something better than risk wasting time and regretting it later.

    I think that people don't really change much. The basic qualities anyway, don't really change.

    I definitely don't think there's much room for improvement sexually - either the chemistry and potential is there or it's not, IMO. Chemistry and potential meaning can be improved but it doesn't completely suck to begin with. I also think that really bad sex is generally a reflection of other, deeper, problems.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Veteran Member JettaNyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Falling out of love?

    i thank everyone for your advice...i will discuss with him going to a marriage councelor. sex therapist is a good idea too (didnt even think of that one), i'll have to see about finding one.

  8. #8
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Falling out of love?

    I started going to marriage councelling 2 months ago. We're on our 2nd coucellor because the 1st one just wasn't "right" for us. Best thing we ever did was start going. Don't think you have to settle with the first, or even 2nd coucellor you meet. COmpatibility between the coucellor and couple is key.

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    Default Re: Falling out of love?

    I think you should walk away
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

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    Default Re: Falling out of love?

    What was he like when you fell in love with him ( what made you fall for him ) and what has he lost over the years ? What would you like back ? If your not happy either work it out or move on . I hope you can work it out though .

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