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Thread: Your relationship with your parents

  1. #1
    Senior Member bite's Avatar
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    Default Your relationship with your parents

    I was reading this thread and a lot of us seem to agree that one thing a lot of dancers have in common is a strained relationship with one or both parents.
    I know that for me, this is true - my mother and I have never got along and when I was little she was sometimes abusive. Although I have grown up, moved out, smoothed things over in my own mind, the scars left over the years are still there and I am sure have some bearing on the person I am today.
    A lot of girls I work with don't get along with their parents either.
    What are your experiences?

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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    I would definetely do things differently than my parents. They've said some fucked up shit. I do love them though, and we are very close. They're only human, and they weren't that bad. Not like alot of the stories i've read about here.
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    My parents are divorced they divorced the year a graduated high school. They both abboned the idea of being parents. Even though i am an adult it would be nice to have parents that truely cared about me or felt some sort of responsabitly to remain parents. I feel as though I am just extended family to them. Some of you might complain that you parents care to much or give there opiones about your life but you are lucky. I have no one place to call home I wish i did i am on my own with no saftey net.

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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    I never see my Mum and we've never got on, she's completely fucked up. She left when I was 10 and I have no type of relationship with her, probably never see her again. Love love love my Dad though.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    My mom and I are more like sisters thatn mother and daughter, too close in age I think. I love her to death, but we are just VERY different people.
    I have ALWAYS been relaxed about sexuality, sensuality and the body...she on the other hand can find something innapropriate with a potatoe sack.
    (spell check here..blah)

    So it's curious thing, I have always heard people speculate "she msut strip because something happened to her in her lifetime" and I never agreed with that, having a happy healthy outlook myself. But after thinking it over and analyzing my relationship with dear ole mom, maybe there is something to it? I'd be curious to know how many o us DO have some issue with our parents, or parental figures.....

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    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    My family are a bunch of insane losers who are enabled in their dysfunction. I had to escape 3,000 miles away to get rid of them. I am the only one who ever cared about changing. I tried to run away from home over 100 times before I was ever able to make it out.

    I just try to become more healthy. I have been able to sustain a 2 year relationship with someone who is extremely healthy and successful.

    From my experiences, alot of strippers are extremely dysfunctional because of the families they were born into.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    I am mad at my folks again. Grrrr....just thinking about them is pissing me off right now. All of the lies and secrecy. Its not suprising that its hard for me to be truthful and honest with people ever....

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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  8. #8
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    My mom is dead to me. She's close to it for the rest of the world.

    My dad & stepmother I adore. They're the good people everyone wants to have visiting at their place, or go to when they need help. Bizarrely enough, they grew up in the same town in Mexico but never really knew eachother until they got to the U.S... I've heard a few stories of people getting with someone they knew in childhood. Life is strange sometimes.
    (Just wanted to say something positive in this thread...)

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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    I've gone over this already a million times here so you are bound to find a similiar response elsewhere.... yet I will go on: I am what I refer to as estranged from my parents. The last time I was physically in their presence was Christmas Day 2005. Serious. It's all thru email now and even the emails are far and few ... and brief. One is my father, the other is my step mum. My real mother transitioned from this life way back in Feb 1999.

    I have a much better relationship with my younger brother. I have absolutely no relationship with my younger step-brothers. They are complete and utter strangers to me. All I know is their names and that my step mum is their mum.

    I actually have no safety net and this does cause me stress in my life at times. I don't count on my parents to "be there for me" at all. If they can't support me as a grown adult and instead kinda keep me as the family "shame" as such... then I know I can't count on them.

    I think having a strained relationship with my father was going to happen eventually anyway as we are so different from each other. I do not share anything in common with him other than being his daughter. I am a black sheep.


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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    My dad raped me and my mum let her fiancee molest me until I moved out at seventeen. After two years she told me she finally believed he molested me. We get along now. I think she's really ashamed she let it happen.


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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    My mother is insane. Something is not right up there, and the chemical balance has existed the entire time I have known her. If I think about my family too much I get depressed, and I have worked hard at building a make shift family outside my birth family. My mother has always treated me like s . If anything went wrong while I was living with her she would blame me. Often times in cases of abuse there may be only one child that is being abused hence the family scapegoat. A more famous example of this would be from "A Child Called It". The author was abused severly by his mother while his siblings were unscathed. Of course after he was removed from the home a new scapegoat was chosen.
    Growing up I had two nervous breakdowns one when I was 11 and the other when I was 18. Living with my mother was so extremely stressfull. Everyday being treated like [email protected] and being told I was [email protected]#. Sveral teachers reported my mother to child protective services. Somehow my mother sees me as the devil. I am evil in her mind. Few people were able to see what my mother was realy like while I was growing up. Most would honestly believe her. The worst thing she did purposely was leave me in an unaccredited fundamentalist christian high school filled with child molesters. My father never did anything. Now that I am an adult I realize that my mther has an illness and needs help. It is hereditary as many others on her side of the family suffer some of the same problems as well. My sister is now one of them. My family never calls me for my birthday or any holiday. I am fine with this. Because I do not want to talk to their illness , I want to talk to them. That is not going to happen till they have passed on to the next life. Mental illness is real. The brain is just like any other part of the body things can and do go wrong with it. My real family now are the friends that god and the goddess has given me and I am extremely grateful for them.
    "Can we read it on the Smoking Gun? "

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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    Parents? What parents? **shifty eyes*

    I'm in the same boat as lillithmorrigan, except that mom never admitted it, told me it was my fault, and now I don't talk to her either.

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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    Wow, I am sorry to hear about everyone and what horrible things many of you have had to go through with your parents.

    I guess I am extremely fortunate. I absolutely love both my parents and I am best friends with both of them. They were both very far from being perfect and yes they made mistakes (and I am pretty sure that they realize this now and regret it) but I understand that they are just human. I feel like my parents' animosity toward each other often blinded them of their parenting responsibilities and that was their biggest mistake when I was growing up. I didn't have the best time with them as a teen (I was pretty hard headed myself) but I do know that they will always love me no matter what. My personality is almost identical to my father's even though we both didn't realize it until this year. (We are both stubborn, self destructive, hot heads.)

    Now my stepparents are a completely different story. They are both a-holes and I am still hoping that my parents will divorce them. My stepparents always saw me as "competition" even though I had tried to get along with them. I feel like my stepparents are just taking advantage of my parents finacially and emotionally and I hope my parents see that for their own good.


    "That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth!" ~Jayne



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    Default Re: Your relationship with your parents

    My dad left when I was little, plus he was in the military. So he was never really "home" when he was home. Now he's got people following me and checking up on the things I do. Which is very strange.

    My mother and I get along quite well. And I have the best little brother. HA! Little, he's 17.

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