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Thread: Self Confidence- More or Not?

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    Default Self Confidence- More or Not?

    What kind of effect has dancing had on your self esteem and body confidence?

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    Senior Member Return2theStage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    I sort of stumbled into dancing and got the biggest boost of my life self confidence wise. It was getting naked that made me think of my body as beautiful and powerful. In my lifetime I have had a natrual birth, and exclusively breastfed two kids. Dancing ranks right up there with those things as far as teaching me to respect and love my body.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    much more, but that might have to do with physical changes in my appearance that resulted from me dancing

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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    It's up and down. One day it is all good, another day I am stressing .. picking on myself "I should get a boob job" etc etc. Overall tho' stripping has just made me more body aware. Shown me that I must look after myself and how I can go about it. Overall it has had a positive effect on me - self-confidence wise. Yet I am human and I have my moments where I am not so confident. That's just me.

    It's made me a more assertive individual and helped me get to know myself thus that can only translate into postives.


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  5. #5
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    i go so dramatically up and down with confidence that it's hard to say. i'll spend 4 days crying that i'm fat and hideous and i'll starve myself because i'm convinced nobody would want to look at a fatty like me, and then i'll spend 2 days thinking i'm hot stuff and feeling on top of the world.

    but, like vee, in general it's definitely improved my confidence. yes i still have regular bad patches where i have no confidence at all, but before i started stripping my whole life was a bad patch. i was shy, completely lacked self esteem and had no confidence in the way i looked.

    on the other hand, i was about 15lb's heavier back then, and i never even noticed that i was chubby. i wasn't confident, but i never used to worry that i was fat. now that i've lost that weight i stress about it more than anything.

    i guess all in all i'm just not a confident person most of the time. hmm.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    More confident. More powerful. Now that I'm no longer stripping, I'm not taking the same effort to care for myself though, such as regular manicures, tanning, working out. THAT has had an effect on my self-esteem. I thought I was the shit when I was dancing, I was a physical goddess. Even if I felt my belly was bulging, I would put on those 7 inchers, walk out in the dark room, and immediately have all eyes on me.

    Although stripping gave me confidence, it didn't help my sense of self-esteem or self-respect. I knew that all of those eyes weren't looking at me as a person at all...

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  7. #7
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    Overall, dancing has drastically helped my self-esteem. Partly because of the reasons that Emily stated...dancing has had positive effects on my physical appearance and looks, which has helped me to like certain parts of my body better. Directly, dancing has helped my appearance by helping me to acquire a slightly more toned, fit figure. Indirectly, dancing has helped my appearance by providing the money to make improvements to my looks that I never could afford before, such as professional hair dying and breast implants. The large number of guys that compliment me and spent good amounts of money on me has shown that I am worth something as a person(because before dancing, a lot of employers/employees/so-called "friends" treated me as if I was worthless and disposable as a person).

    I think the biggest self-esteem boost that I have gotten from dancing has been financially. Even before the boobs and red hair dye, I considered myself fairly good looking and didn't have any major problems getting guys' attention. Ditto for personality/wits. However, one of the major "turn-offs" that I exhibited to potential guys or others, was the fact that I was impoverished, underemployed, and not able to afford living independently. When guys who were initially interested in me found out that I was working in retail and didn't have my own place or money to fix my car, they often made rude comments like "Can't you do better than retail?"(I couldn't at the time), or they started snubbing me and losing interest. My self-esteem took an all-time low when I found myself working a $8/hr retail job after most of college, not having enough money to maintain my car, and then finding myself without the car or the shit job. Since I started dancing, I've moved out to my own apartment, bought a brand-new car plus an extra "hobby" car, and can actually afford the bills each month. Now that I have a new car, my own place, and tits, it seems like a good portion of the guys who'd previously snubbed me are now interested in me(how shallow). This realization has kinda swelled my head a bit(at least I'm honest) and has made me feel that I can do "better" than THEM(haha how do they like it being reveresed now?). So yeah, dancing has helped my esteem a lot.

    Although less common, there are however some things about dancing that have lowered my self-esteem. For example, if I go through a really bad night where no one wants a dance from me, customers mock me for being a post-college stripper, customers lie/bullshit me such as saying they can get me a good job and here it's all a big joke, etc. When people do not want a dance from me, it's a sign that they either don't like my looks, don't like me as a person(or how I convey myself as a person), or they can't afford it; 2 out of 3 of those reasons are related to personal things about me, so sometimes I can't help but take it personally. When I was unsuccessfully jobsearching a few months ago, I was very unconfident that any employers would hire me, so I was depending on dancing as my "saving grace" for paying the bills; when I didn't make any money, I would feel like I blew my last chance to make a living for myself. I think everyone has these days though. The only other insecurity I have from dancing, is worrying about my family and others(coworkers from other jobs, high school classmates, etc) finding out about my dancing. That is a big part as to why I'd like to exit the dancing industry within a year, as soon as I start making real money at my other two jobs(right now, I'm in training and I have yet to get my insurance license for one of my other jobs). Before I landed my new non-dancing jobs, I would lie about my job to newly met guys who weren't aware that I was a dancer; When I slept over the house of this one guy that I was seeing, I would even go as far as leaving his place by 7:30am to get to my "job" to look convincing!

  8. #8
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    philly, that's so funny about you leaving early to go to work, lol. I tell a guy by the 3-4th date, b/c some aren't okay with it, and I don't want to waste my time.

    It has improved my sense of empowerment. Before I danced I didn't know I could do so much. Dancing has helped me, above all else, know that I can take care of myself. I've been able to do the things I like, vollunteering, and investing in real estate. I also know I am beautiful, and worth so much.

    I was confident before, but now I am even more so.

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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    I always felt I had a pretty face, but I never ever thought I had a good body until I danced. Now I probably have too much ego about it, but I figure that is better than being insecure like I was before.

    Having a great night at work makes me feel like a million bucks. I love knowing how do do something and doing it well. Stripping isn't always a picnic, but it's the best job I've ever had.
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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    I was really shy, no confidence, no money (my father never payed child support), I didn't finish HS because of my living circumstances and because of my lack of confidence (I'd break down if I had less than A+, I did distance education and had no social life or money). Since I started dancing my self-esteem and confidence has improved a LOT within a few weeks even though my looks didn't change at all. I'm earning heaps of $$ and getting treated like a Godess. I'm so much happier now ...

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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    For a little while, mine went down actually- I felt like I couldn't compete with the other dancers. But I've been working on it...I had to keep reminding myself that you ladies on here recommend not 'competing' with other dancers moneywise.

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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    I was confident before i even started dancing. I was taught from the begining that there will always be more beautiful people in the world then you and there will always be uglier people. Be proud of what you have been given and use wisely what you've got. So my self esteem and confidence was at a comfortable spot before i started dancing. If anything since dancing (agh i hate to admit this but) my ego has inflated in size...

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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    Before I started dancing, I was always a brains over beauty kinda girl. I always knew I was at least pretty decent looking, since I never had problems getting a date, but on the other hand, never thought I had a wide appeal. I was also crazy jealous of all the skinny Asian bitches who were like 5'2 and 90 pounds.

    Now that I'm a dancer, I'm way more in shape than I used to be (though I look pretty much the same), and appreciate that dudes love an Asian girl with boobs and butt. Apparently I'm a rarity I still value my intellectual side of me more, but I do enjoy getting my ego stroked everytime I go to work. I'm still a nerd, but I guess I clean up real good

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    This is the best that I could think of. Before dancing, I wouldn't even have sex with the lights on. After I began dancing, I would rather have the lights on. Sure there are days that I don't feel that great about myself, but those are further apart now.

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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    It increased my confidence dramatically.

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    Picaresque
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    it's been a HUGE help in not letting my eating disorder get out of control. I won't say I'm recovered, and I'm not really sure that I want to be 100% recovered...but dancing has helped me to see things more objectively. When people are telling me a zillion times a night how hot my body is, how nice my tits are , how beautiful I am, etc....somewhere along the line I started thinking "hmm, maybe I'm not actually a fat cow".

    It's also made me more assertive. You have to be assertive when dancing: between management trying to intimidate you, other dancers stepping on your toes, and customers trying to grab your tits or haggle prices...I learned to be assertive for sure. And that is carrying over into real life. Not putting up with bullshit at work made me realize that I don't have to put up with it OTC either.

    It's definitely making me more confident and outgoing in general, too.

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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    It's raised my self-confidence. I'm much more self-reliant and assertive.
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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    I agree, huge confidence increase: Specifically, more confident in conversations, speaking up with people and more confident in new situations and with new people, I also feel more confident saying when I'm not happy with something, and am more frank (or sharp? Dunno!) Body confidence and feeling sexy, big boost: I used to feel kind of... plain? Now even when I wear the same clothes I feel different in them, more sexy in my sneakers and jeans!

    The financial boost is a huge confidence raise too, knowing I'm ok money-wise and am saving myself a lot of student loan grief is a huge confidence boost.

    xx

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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    I wasn't exactly unconfident before I started dancing, but I didn't think much about the way I looked, or whether or not people were attracted to me. Growing up, I was always kind of told that I was smart, and smart girls didn't need to worry about their looks. Kind of the reverse of what pretty girls get told, huh?

    Once I was living on my own I didn't have the time or money to spend on my appearance, anyway, and kind of took a perverse pleasure in looking like a raggamuffin. The only time I knew my weight was at the doctor's office, and I was sometimes guilty of cutting my own hair....not well.

    Since I started dancing I've started taking trouble with my looks, not just at the club but in my other work, too. I used to feel like using my looks to my advantage was "cheating" somehow, but I now I look at them as just another weapon to get ahead.

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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    dancing increased the confidence i had about my body. i was really awkward looking as a teen, and started to feel pretty around 19 or 20...but would still be shy naked. i started dancing at 21, and at first it was hard on my self esteem (i'm far from perfect). however, i learned (trial by fire) to be comfortable in my own skin...i have things i still want to improve (like toning up and losing 5-10 pounds), but i feel confident with what i have. i don't dance anymore, but still like to keep my legs smooth all the time, eyebrows shaped, nails painted (i do them myself), etc. i don't spend an insane amount of money on upkeep anymore (no fake nails, no wicked-expensive extensions, no mystic tan, $200 makeup), but still keep myself up.
    "Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days."

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    Default Re: Self Confidence- More or Not?

    Quote Originally Posted by meimei
    Before I started dancing, I was always a brains over beauty kinda girl. I always knew I was at least pretty decent looking, since I never had problems getting a date, but on the other hand, never thought I had a wide appeal. I was also crazy jealous of all the skinny Asian bitches who were like 5'2 and 90 pounds.

    Now that I'm a dancer, I'm way more in shape than I used to be (though I look pretty much the same), and appreciate that dudes love an Asian girl with boobs and butt. Apparently I'm a rarity I still value my intellectual side of me more, but I do enjoy getting my ego stroked everytime I go to work. I'm still a nerd, but I guess I clean up real good

    i feel exactly as u felt then except i'm african american with glasses. i always wear sweat shirts over my shirts. i always try to look the least attractive. maybe it is due to not wanting to be embarrased by peoples reaction to me but it is mostly to keep the "boys" away. i want to start dancing because i want to be able to unleash apart of myself thats been trying to claw its way out.

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