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Thread: World's Worst Pick Up Line

  1. #1
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default World's Worst Pick Up Line

    This was said to a fellow bartender, who is young and cute, by a customer, who was neither.

    "You know, the things I would do to you would get me 5 years in jail".

    Shockingly, I ended up kicking the guy out soon afterwards.

    For the life of me, even though I have seen it all in my years of bartending, I will never understand or comprehend the mindset of a person who thinks that that sort of comment, said to a virtual stranger, is acceptable OR will pique the interest of the woman.

    PJ

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    Veteran Member SexeJaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    Wow...what that guy said is not cool at ALL....!!!!!

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    LOL...god, sometimes I still miss bartending. haahaa

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    Veteran Member stripperMBA's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    "What are you?" This is the first thing that several men have said to me as a way to ask about my ethnicity. Then upon my answer they give me that,"Oh, you look so exotic." But that "what are you?" question.....
    "Can we read it on the Smoking Gun? "

  5. #5
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    about 10 minutes to close one night, some drug-fucked e-head comes up to me in his too-cool clothes and says as his opening AND closing line:

    ARE WE GONNA HOOK UP OR WHAT?

    ahahahahaha... worst. pick up line. ever.

  6. #6
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    He's following the theory that, for every 503 random times he gets slapped down, he may get like one yes..
    As a dancer at work, a custy jokingly said he'd cut my hair, then shave me bald. I replied, "not before I gut you like a fish, ALIVE". He left the bar shortly after that.
    I'm such a bee-otch.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

  7. #7
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    Sleazy, greasy old bald man: "How old ARE you?"
    Me: "Sixteen."
    Him (leering): "Yeah. I'm goin' to hell."


  8. #8
    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    I am six feet tall, taller in heels and this little fellow that I could of used for an am rest came up to me with that " eighties. open shirt, gold chain on his hairy chest. toothpick chewing attitude" and said.. " How is the weather up there?"

    Ugh, some people just have no game. At all.

  9. #9
    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    I know a guy who was very proud of this gem: "Excuse me, do you have a quarter? I gotta go call my mom, you see - I promised I'd tell her the moment I fell in love."

    Retch!
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    Quote Originally Posted by Prester_John
    This was said to a fellow bartender, who is young and cute, by a customer, who was neither.

    "You know, the things I would do to you would get me 5 years in jail".

    PJ
    What about this for a comeback:

    Since Lawrence v. Texas its all legal now and not so much of a thrill anymore.

  11. #11
    Veteran Member lazydaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    I have seen one on a pick up line website that said "Your hands are as soft as a catfish's underbelly." Personally, I'm not even sure how to respond to that one.

    I have had the leering "So what's next?" *eyebrow eyebrow*. Which I had to say "I'm getting the fuck out of here".

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    Veteran Member DeeJayOz's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  13. #13
    Featured Member former_LV_dancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    Ugh....A guy came up to me a few months ago while I was bartending and said...

    Guy: "Do you like riddles"?
    Me: "Uh...sure"
    Guy: "What winks and fucks like a tiger"?
    Me: "I don't know"
    Guy: He then winks at me

    GAG.....I said to him "there is no way that line has ever worked for you".
    What a retard.

  14. #14
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    At a party one time there was this guy telling these two girls about how he was a satanist. It fucking worked, too. Those two were eating it up! I was astounded!

    I dunno 'bout you, but if I was a chick and the first thing i learned about a guy was how he answered to the "father in hell" i'd high-tail it to the nearest safe zone!

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    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    cheesy pickups only work if both parties KNOW its not serious.

    This gets a laugh. Lick finger, touch finger to girls shirt (shoulder area let's not be bold yet), then say "oh sorry lets get you out of those wet clothes" annnnnnnnnnnnnd Smile.

  16. #16
    Veteran Member DeeJayOz's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    Step in front of your victim, look him/her up and down. Kinda get that "Oh fuck it! You'll have to do." look on your face. Walk up and say ( now timing is everything. Yea right.): "Wanna breed?"
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Veteran Member lazydaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    You guys are starting to scare me......
    Quote Originally Posted by Polekitten View Post
    Its just not nice, there's just some things you don't do. Like you don't handle food without washing your hands, don't put your worn panties in your mouth.

  18. #18
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    Ha ha. When we were still in the courtship phase, my boyfriend once sidled up to me at work, glanced down, and said, "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

    And they were old, worn-out sneakers. Heh.

  19. #19
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    Quote Originally Posted by former_LV_dancer
    Ugh....A guy came up to me a few months ago while I was bartending and said...

    Guy: "Do you like riddles"?
    Me: "Uh...sure"
    Guy: "What winks and fucks like a tiger"?
    Me: "I don't know"
    Guy: He then winks at me

    GAG.....I said to him "there is no way that line has ever worked for you".
    What a retard.
    What a douche. hahahaha

  20. #20
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    Quote Originally Posted by stripperMBA
    "What are you?" This is the first thing that several men have said to me as a way to ask about my ethnicity. Then upon my answer they give me that,"Oh, you look so exotic." But that "what are you?" question.....
    Hehe. I'm with ya. And they always look so disppointed when I tell them I'm American I swear I need to fake an accent and start saying I'm from Macedonia or some shit.

    I usually reply, "human" or "a woman" when they ask me "what are you?" Then follow up with a giggle. It usually gets a laugh and helps get a sale. Of course I still answer the question, but by then I've turned the situation to my favor with the smartass remark

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  21. #21
    Member Wilhelmina's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    I have a fav: never heard it said to anyone but think it's funny:

    Nice shoes, Wanna fuck?

    heehee!

  22. #22
    Senior Member Tabytha's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    I don't know about the worst pickup line but the best one that worked on me was spoken by a guy I had been eyeing all night ( he was the booking agent for the rock club I was at):

    Him: Let's go.
    Me: uh...uh...uh...OK

    We were together for almost a year and are still friends. (BTW, when we left we went to a diner, not somewhere to fuck, lol)

  23. #23
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    No Lie. You can ask anyone who has EVER met me. This kind of thing is RIGHT up my alley. I think even CO was there for it a few times. Makes me Miss Lilith and Heaven777. We where all chillin at the bar with Miss Velvet when I was playing all the passer-bys with my ninja comedy.

    When We arrived CO Lillith, Velvet and I where eating and these tools kept interupting us and I had a hay-day making fun of them to them but coy, with Velvet kicking me under the table for safety of my life.

    I absolutly LOVE using cheesy pick up lines....sooooooo comedy gold with the right delivery.

    See my other posts for the ones that worked.

    But I ALWAYS use the nice shoes wanna fuck tagline... ALWAYS

    This is GENERALLY how I use it.

    I've already made some people laugh... I gauge the comedy I was JUST using to figure out what to say to them to bring them to the crowd.

    <Her> Hahhahahah
    <Me> You're sexay
    <Her> Thanks...
    <Me> Oh geeze, that was terribly rude of me. I didn't mean to say that... I mean... you're sexy... but like not...uhm... ohhh geeze, *Pause* You're very.... hmmm
    <Her> *smiling waiting for it*
    <Me> Let me start again.
    <Her> Ok.
    <Me> Hi.
    <Her> Hello.
    <Me> What I meant to ask the first time was... uhm.... NICE SHOES.
    They always get it.

    One time I went direct with it because I could tell she wouldn't be harmed by an unsolicited use of the F bomb.

    I got a "Sure"
    <Me> That took you no time to think about.
    <Her> You asked a question, I gave an answer.
    <Me> *Shifted my posture to make straight eye contact*
    <Me> What?
    <Her> You asked me a question. I answered you.
    <Me> Uh...huh.... Jokes on me, cause I was just trying to get you to laugh.
    <Her> It was funny too.
    <Me> you're evil. I'm going to go over there.
    <Her> Suit yourself.

    I was so perplexed, but what really got me was the Open-Mouth Jaw Drop her friend did to her when I left. I still don't know how to take it. But I waaaas married back then... and pretty low self-esteem. But still what a right hook.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  24. #24
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    Once a guy opened with 'will you marry me? This is my bank statement.' over a million dollars. Which I found out later was from stealing cars. O-kay


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  25. #25
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pick Up Line

    Quote Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan
    Once a guy opened with 'will you marry me? This is my bank statement.' over a million dollars. Which I found out later was from stealing cars. O-kay

    So you where interested.

    At least you pulled a background check.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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