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Thread: Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Truce's Avatar
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    Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

    In the “real world” I am a normal girl who has a boyfriend I truly love and adore, an average sex drive, and no real desire to flirt or show off in public as I have the ability to release that energy in the job I do (stripping). In fact I really resent any sexual attention outside the club.

    Then when I put on my makeup, stilettos and I am in the club I turn into a totally different person i.e. very flirtatious, extraverted, loud, claiming to have a massive sex drive etc etc. And this is great for the customers as it brings in a lot of bread, however it has started to develop a little problem...

    My manager (who has a girlfriend of his own mind you) and the DJ (who has a wife) have gradually over time become very “friendly” and overly affectionate with me. Started telling me privet details of their lives, telling me I am a real cool chick and joking around that I am hot as hell and would dream of being with me one day and generally just flirting their arses off with me.

    Now in the beginning I thought this was all shits and giggles and I played a long with it just having some fun as I was in the role already but I have noticed that very few other girls in the club get this kind of attention and I don’t want to be sending out any wrong signals. They both get especially worse when they have been drinking.

    I try to be professional and have tried to pull back a bit from flirting around with these guys when they speak with me but when I am all done up in costume I find it difficult not to be flirtatious and suggestive cos I am in that mindset.

    Apart from just staying clear from them (cos I have obviously already tried this but a little difficult when you are working the same shifts as them) does anyone have any advice or been through something like this before….?

    Sorry its so long...

  2. #2
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

    Well, you'd better get used to it, unfortunately. It seems to be endemic in the industry. Managers, DJs, and bouncers are notoriously poor at exercising self-restraint, managers and DJs being tied for worst, and bouncers coming close behind. Alcohol makes it worse, invariably.

    I'm no angel, but I have managed to keep from actively pursuing anyone, even if I have accepted a few offers, which usually turned out to be a rotten idea, and cost me at least one job (since managers can fire or make life intolerable for employees who get what they wanted).

    It varies from club to club--fortunately the one I am in now is pretty strict, especially about drinking on the job, so we see very little of this, except possibly from the trash monkee/barback who works on slow nights.

    Part of what you are experiencing is no doubt due to the rush of a totally new environment, one in which surface appeal and sexual feelings are constantly pumped up in any number of ways. The dressing up has its role as well--I guarantee more people wind up sleeping with someone from a Halloween party than a normal one.

    In time the effect will mellow, no doubt, and you'll also learn who to avoid, and how to use it for maximum profit and minimum hassle, as it sounds like you are already figuring it out.
    Last edited by Djoser; 09-27-2006 at 01:43 AM.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Default Re: Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

    I would try to avoid being with them on your own; hard I know.

    The other thing I might try doing is bringing up my boyfriend in conversation as much as you can without seeming obvious. Hopefully they'll realize hands off and you don't have to be worried that the flirting might try to turn into something different.

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    Veteran Member KennedyWinters's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

    I totally feel for ya. I can't just hop right out and be a regular mild-mannered shy girl until the end of the night and I'm dressed again either I think. It's a good thing. The more you hint at how you can barely control your sexy self the more people will want a peice of it wherever you go. You are lucky enough to be able to separate the two I think and that will benefit you in the future.

    I think I constantly have these stolen moments of intimacy. It's hard for me to take a step back and go "oh wait I am not actually like this" or "this person is NOT someone I would see outside the club". Because I am literally acting with the intention that I find all patrons very attractive and do-able. Oh you sir? of course. A naughty couple? follow me. Friends? lesbians? overweight or handicapped? come one come all! but I digress....

    But about what you said-in day to day life- maybe you could start to just nicely thank and smile anyone who is hassling you or complementing you inappropriately. I've lived in more than a few parts of the valley and hollywood where I started to get hostile and wish I hadn't of walked. People followed me in their vehicles, me on foot, like DAILY. I had to either get pissed or just go to a happier place and ignore them with a dreamy smile on my face...as if the thought I was having was just too wonderful to be bothered by any single male attention.

    I think this is why I move clubs often- and the one I am most comf at has these non-threatening personel. (ie not young or attractive in anyway, been in the business prolly mosty their lives)

    I wouldn't suggest you steer clear of them because you have to be a good sport-obviousely you all have significant others and it's pretty lame of them to be forgetting that, not to mention it being a work environment and all. I think the only way to curtail unwanted advances is to be more curt. more firm. still having a good time but serious undertones.

    I know you were saying it's hard when you have the whole getup on but I think a woman with boundaries ultimately comes off as better than a woman with few. (yes it's a SC but still). For SALES yes, the girl who seems the horniest and loosest will clean up shop. But with people you work with, they need to know you are not "that girl" all the time....

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

    I sympathize. At work I'm upbeat and smiley and sexy and goofy, and it's not easy to turn down the wattage just because I happen to be at the bar or the DJ booth talking to staff instead of customers.

    I like to think I'm pretty professional, I don't spend an undue ammount of time talking to anyone on the staff, and when I do, I take care of business -- let them know what I want, tip well when I get, thank you and goodnight. At the same time, I know I've been a little flirtatious, sometimes using flirtation with the staff I'm friendly with as a way to recharge my sexual energy when it's running low -- "nine guys have turned me down for dances, but the bartender's flirting with me, so I must still be hot" -- that kind of thing. I guess I assumed there's so much random sexual energy running around in that place that winking at the DJ or blowing kisses to the bar staff wouldn't even get noticed. My favorite DJ and a young bartender have both picked up on it a little too much, though, to the point of both asking for my phone number last week and being awkward when I said I don't like to give it out.

    In the future I guess I'll tone it down. Unless you've indicated that you would seriously consider a relationship with your manager or DJ, I don't think you have to feel guilty about the attraction other people feel toward you. They're grown-ups, and their feelings are up to them to control. You might want to tone it down a bit. If they say something suggestive, smile, but don't respond in kind. Be more professional with them and only talk for business reasons. You might find a way to bring up your boyfriend. And if they ever do ask you out or solicit you for OTC time, tell them you have a boyfriend or that you don't date people from work.

    OK, now I'm off to take my own advice. Thanks for starting this thread...

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    Veteran Member danijamesxxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

    Be careful what you do. I was like that too, until the owner of my first club tried something and when I said no, he freaked and basically this led to my quitting. He treated me like crap til I finally walked out.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #7
    Kaiyla
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    Default Re: Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

    Yeah, definitely be careful what you do. You don't want that "mindset" to infringe upon professionalism. Aim that energy toward the customers becuase once you put out that overly-flirtacious vibe toward co-workers, it opens up a can of worms that is sooooo difficult to get back in control. Eventually, you're going to have a "stripper blues" period for one reason or another and the unwanted attention will get to the point where it just annoys you, you feel harassed, and not so much in control anymore. blech.

  8. #8
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

    I have a funny idea- when you're not going onstage or departing the stage/ DJ booth, claim that you are having horrible hormonal problems & just don't feel yourself lately, in a bad, non-sexy sense. You're putting on a sexy "act" for work, but your private life is BARREN!!!! And you feel AWFUL!!! Etc. I promise these men will stop listening to you when they figure out it's "female problem" ranting they're being subjected to....LOL

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

    ^^^Yes! Bitch about petty shit. Claim you have chronic yeast infections and no sex drive. Talk about all the cute things your cat did that day. Unsexify!

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    Veteran Member metal_n_mitsu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo
    Claim you have chronic yeast infections and no sex drive. Talk about all the cute things your cat did that day. Unsexify!
    HAHAHA
    MISTRESS ALEXA

    Check out my myspace @ www.myspace.com/metalmaniac2

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    Default Re: Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

    Start talking like a guy around them. You can still be a perv, but start talking about the massive dump you just took, and how you've been crop dusting (farting while walking) all night. Talk about the huge zit you've got on your backside.

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    Senior Member Truce's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! How do i control my Mojo in the club?

    Hahhaah thanks heaps guys that is some good advice! I dont think i could go to the extent of farting in front of any of them (not my thing) but would definatly feel comfortable bitching about girly stuff infront of them. I'm thinking more along the lines of PMS, bloating, pimples etc etc. Might chuck my boy in there once and a while too. Thanks heaps xo

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