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Thread: Losers pawning you off

  1. #1
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Thumbs down Losers pawning you off

    This is something that REALLY annoys me...I absolutely HATE it when I approach a customer, and he tries to pawn me off to his friend, not because his friend is interested or spending any money, but just to get rid of me. The thing that annoys me about it most of all isn't the fact that the customer doesn't want anything to do with me, and it's not the fact that it's wasting 2mins of my time; what annoys me most about it, is that they pawn me off as if I'm some naive idiot whose brain just turned on yesterday. Do they really think I'm stupid enough to believe them when they pass me off to one of their asshole friends who's scowling or waving his hands and mouthing "no, no"? (NOTE: I have BIG issues with people who do not acknowledge me to be smart or intelligent. This has stemmed from years of people mistaking me for being dumb, due to: my young/innocent looks, perpetual bubbly cheerfulness, gender, and/or prior lack of intelligent jobs.) It's almost as if it's a big mean joke to them, to pass off some stripper to a disinterested guy just to see if I'm dumb enough to approach their friend. But what am I supposed to do...not approach their friend because of my instincts telling me that they're playing me?(cause you never really know unless you approach the person and "close the sale")

    What's even worse, is when a guy SEES that his friend is terribly disinterested in me and rubs it in. For example, a few months ago at a club in AC, I approached a group of nicely dressed guys. I was cheerful and friendly. Before I even got all of "hi how are you" out of my mouth, the asshole(who looked like a TOAD!) retorted, "NO, NO. GO AWAY." I begged his pardon and told him that I didn't ASK him anything but how he was doing and that I was just being nice. He said in the same mean, snotty tone, "I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU." So without saying anything in response, I put on my snob act by promptly turning the other cheek and then said "hi" to the asshole's friend. First thing the friend(turns out it was Asshole's brother) asks is, "Why aren't you talking to him? Why won't you talk to him?" in this cocky, cynical tone of voice. After he'd clearing seen me get dissed by him! I think he did this to see what my reaction was. I made up some lame excuse, by saying, "Because I'd like to talk to you!" and he kept egging me on, repeatedly asking why I wouldn't talk to his brother. He wasn't being sincere, he was being a smart ass and it was obvious that he was making fun of me.

    Then tonight, I approached a group of three loser guys. I tried to say hi to the one, and he said "I'm fine" in a monotone and pointed to his friend, saying "Talk to him." When I turned my cheek to talk to his friend, he pointed back at the first guy and said "Talk to him." I ignored this and proceeded to ask this second guy how his night was. He kept pointing and saying "Talk to him." He'd clearly seen me getting dissed by the first asshole 1min prior! What, does he think I was born yesterday?? So I finally said in my snobbiest New England voice ever, "I prefer not to." He still kept pointing at his friend and I had to fuckin repeat myself! Finally I walked away and gave the first guy a weirded-out snobby look(the type of look that says "Like, ew, you're totally weird!" and walked away.

    Do these guys think I'm that stupid? Why do guys do this? It really makes me feel self-conscious and it kinda hurts my feelings a bit, too. Has anyone else encountered this fuckin annoyance? What is the best way to react to it? I tried turning the other cheek and talking up the asshole's other friends, and they just serve to remind me and rub in that I was dissed. When I try to ignore their game by talking to someone else or walking away, sometimes they shout after me, "Wait, WHY won't you talk to him?" Maybe I should say "Thanks for nothing, bitch." Haha they'd deserve that. Any feedback?

  2. #2
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    I walk away, on the double. If one guy points at another at the table, the showboating chain reaction is already underway, and there's no way any of them will get a dance (until they're drunker).

    I'll get up and walk away if I even think they might be being rude.

    Me: Hi, I'm Scarlett! Mind if I sit down?

    Guy: Well sure Scarlett! (fake cheerfulness). How are you this fine evening? (friends snickering).

    Me: Baleful look, walk away.

    I wouldn't last another night in this industry if I didn't give myself at least that. I'm sure i've lost out on some money, but in my observance, I'm usually right when I walk away.

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  3. #3
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    Yeah, I've found that most times, my instincts are right-on...I have good judgment, I just don't carry out my good judgment in actions because I'm too concerned about looking "nice/friendly" or "giving people a chance" just for the sake of being open-minded. The whole "be nice" thing that my parents taught me while growing up gets taken too far sometimes and kinda come back to bite me in the ass sometimes. Next time, I will walk away within the first 5seconds!

  4. #4
    God/dess PleasureVictim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    I like the "Thanks for nothing bitch" line. Harsh, but why show kindness to pricks?

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    This happens most often when I'm selling a special. The guy says, "talk to my friend, he wants dances", friend is shaking his head no. I say, "oh, well would you like to buy him one?" if no, I walk away.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Truce's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    Ahhh i HATE it when guys do that!!! I've been trying to think of some smart arse lines to snap back at them when they do that to me. I find it so insulting. Something like "why cant you afford me....?" Anyone else out there got a good one?

  7. #7
    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    You just can't take customer shit to heart. Learn to forget it. That stuff has happend to me lots of times. I will still go up to the friend when the first guy pawns me off. I know damn well I'm being pawned off but I'll still give it a shot anyways. Maybe the other guy will bite, maybe I'll get a pity dance off him because his friend was rude. I don't give the slightest rats ass if a customer thinks I'm dumb. Yeah, I'm not a robot and it does hurt my feelings in that moment, but I don't take it home with me. Shake it off, forget it, go on to the next guy. We all have to develop thick skin in this business. Water off a ducks back, ya know?

  8. #8
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    PleasureVictim, I would like to use that line but I don't want it to get back to management and possibly get me in trouble. Or maybe I'm worried about nothing? At Oasis, the daytime DJ claimed that calling a customer(rightfully so) an "asshole" would get you fired, which seems kinda strict...yet I witnessed at least a few girls walking away from a guy and saying "And you're an asshole."

    Zabrina, you have a good point about not taking things personally. However, sometimes you try to not let it get it you but you kinda do take it personally. Sometimes if I tell myself that I don't mind, I'm simply in denial or lying to myself. The reason that I care about people viewing me as intelligent, is because I've had big problems with people neglecting to notice my intelligence before...with dating prospects, non-dancing jobs, even in my Honors college courses! It got to the point that I wondered how so-called smart I really was. Whereas if customers made fun of me for being fat(I don't think I've EVER been fat before), I wouldn't care because I know that I'm NOT.

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    I hate that, too. It reminds me of grade school, when the boy who really likes you claims his friend does, just to comfuse you. I usually say "Wow! What a lucky guy your firned is, to have such a woderful friend as you! I can't belklieve how cool you are to buy your buddy a dance!" Sometimes you can shame them into it.

    I totally understand that percieved intelligence issue, because I have been there, too. I now remind myself that THEY are the ones who are stupid, as evidenced by this juvinile behavior, and I am the samrt one who is jsut now wearing on my leg as much as they make in a week.


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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    I either say, with wide eyes and a sugary sweet Shirley Temple voice, "Uh oh! Somebody needs a round of shots!"

    Or, if I get the impression that one guy in particular is being an ass just for the sake of inforcing his "alpha dog" status, I'll diffuse him with a little honest humor. If they ask- whaddya want? Why are you here? Why don't you talk to him? I'll look 'em square in the eye and deadpan, " 'Cause I want your pin number." This usually gets the beta dogs to laugh and the alpha to lighten up.

    If they don't at least chuckle, I just walk away. No need to let thier bad ju-ju affect me.

  11. #11
    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    I call them on it.

  12. #12
    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    Quote Originally Posted by Truce
    Ahhh i HATE it when guys do that!!! I've been trying to think of some smart arse lines to snap back at them when they do that to me. I find it so insulting. Something like "why cant you afford me....?" Anyone else out there got a good one?
    When they say NO before you've even said anything....i usually say "Oh ..thats a shame...I was just going to tell you that i was giving out free blow jobs and a large pizza...but hey..if you arent interested...thats ok"
    Then when they try to call me back(and they always do) I tell them sorry..it was a limited time offer and it just expired..they missed out.
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
    -- Anna Nicole Smith

    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
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    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

  13. #13
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    I can be moved to violence by this sort of thing. Seriously.

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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    Yeah, i'm outta there when they try shit like that. I sometimes wish i could play dumb and laugh it off but it just infuriates me. So insulting to ones intelligence. Sad little boys in big mens bodies. Grr..
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

  15. #15
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    I either say, with wide eyes and a sugary sweet Shirley Temple voice, "Uh oh! Somebody needs a round of shots!"

    Or, if I get the impression that one guy in particular is being an ass just for the sake of inforcing his "alpha dog" status, I'll diffuse him with a little honest humor. If they ask- whaddya want? Why are you here? Why don't you talk to him? I'll look 'em square in the eye and deadpan, " 'Cause I want your pin number." This usually gets the beta dogs to laugh and the alpha to lighten up.

    If they don't at least chuckle, I just walk away. No need to let thier bad ju-ju affect me.
    Smooth! You sound good. Still, I'm just not patient enough, lol.

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  16. #16
    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    Yeah this happens to EVERYONE. It sucks but we've gotta deal with it. I once approached a group of guys hoping to sell 1 of them a dance, on a kinda bad saturday night. Its about 8 guys and I ask one them if I can sit down. I get " sit with him," "no sit with him," "no he needs it more," "no sit with him, he's married," "no sit with him he's been married longer."
    Basically I get every lame excuse, as the most awful thing in the world would be for me to sit with them.

    So I sit down and chat and they are polite I guess but obviously not REAL interested in me. I still try to get one of them to dance with me after a few mins of chatting, and then 2 other dancers walk up and take two of guys in the group away after a mere wannadance. Ultimate rejection. The guy I was mainly chatting with says, "Well I've gotta go to the bathroom now. Have a good night." The ULTIMATE blowoff.
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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    i'll take it one worse. when their friend gives you the money for the dance and they guy refuses to get one after you have been paid. forcing you to give the money back. i do try to get somone else in the party or the original giver to get one instead. sometimes it's a no all around. now that sucks.

    i've also used the free blow job line sans the pizza part. if i'm really irritated. it is just so rude to wave you away when not a word has come out of your mouth.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    That is when the NO REFUND policy comes into play. ^^^^ I know its bitchy but I consider that asshole tax. and an easy 20.

  19. #19
    Featured Member AkashaM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    that happens to me ALOT! My best defense is walking away when they are in midsentence..because I cant sit and listen to it. Or just saying, "oh, I'm sorry, I didnt know you were gay--you should try the X gay club down the street."

    if another friend pays but the other guy doesnt want it...i tell him, that the rules are you cant turn down a gift from your friend. If they REALLY dont want it--i'll offer the dance to the friend that paid for it. if they dont want it--i just leave with the money, but that has only happened twice in the two years that i have danced.
    I'm getting my Dial-A-Stripper service up and running again. If you are in NYC or NJ and are interested in private party dancing, email [email protected] with your SW handle, contact info, photo (if you have one) & best time to call and I'll get back to you asap.

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  20. #20
    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    Quote Originally Posted by velvet
    i'll take it one worse. when their friend gives you the money for the dance and they guy refuses to get one after you have been paid. forcing you to give the money back. i do try to get somone else in the party or the original giver to get one instead. sometimes it's a no all around. now that sucks.
    Screw giving it back...I just look at them both and say..."Well...I've already been paid so either one of you comes for a dance, or thanks for the tip for the 5 minutes you wasted my time" and start walking away. Usually ONE will follow...and if not...sweet..$20 tip! How are they going to prove it WASNT a tip? Thankfully in my club management would rule on the girls side if they did complain.
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    Quote Originally Posted by velvet
    i'll take it one worse. when their friend gives you the money for the dance and they guy refuses to get one after you have been paid. forcing you to give the money back. i do try to get somone else in the party or the original giver to get one instead. sometimes it's a no all around. now that sucks.

    i've also used the free blow job line sans the pizza part. if i'm really irritated. it is just so rude to wave you away when not a word has come out of your mouth.
    Totally unacceptable. There is no way i'd be giving money back. That's just so wrong. Once the money is in your hand, it's as good as a signed sales contract.
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

  22. #22
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    Quote Originally Posted by velvet
    i'll take it one worse. when their friend gives you the money for the dance and they guy refuses to get one after you have been paid. forcing you to give the money back. i do try to get somone else in the party or the original giver to get one instead. sometimes it's a no all around. now that sucks.
    I don't refund the money in this case. I simply say "Well, when your ready, come find me." And leave it at that.

    With the being pawned off bit, depending on my mood, I'll say something like
    "Wow, your friend here just offered to buy a dance for you! Would you like me to dance for you or should I go find a different girl?" While waving at other dancers in the room to come join us.

    Or if I'm tired or bitter that day I may just place a "curse" on the jerk. I'll do something like a flamboyant gesture with my hands whiled muttering something nonsensical, throwing in something about "limp" or "impotent" and breifly touching his head or chest. That kind of stuff makes the jerks very uncmofortable.

    Once a guy tipped me to remove the "curse"- Dork!


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  23. #23
    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    Once a guy tipped me to remove the "curse"- Dork!

    I would have laughed my ass off at that !!!!!
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
    -- Anna Nicole Smith

    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
    http://www.myspace.com/cameronkeys (real myspace)

    http://www.myspace.com/sexyhotdancer(work myspace)


    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Truce's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    Quote Originally Posted by cameronfl
    When they say NO before you've even said anything....i usually say "Oh ..thats a shame...I was just going to tell you that i was giving out free blow jobs and a large pizza...but hey..if you arent interested...thats ok"
    Then when they try to call me back(and they always do) I tell them sorry..it was a limited time offer and it just expired..they missed out.
    Hahah gonna try using that tonight. Thanks xox

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris

    Once a guy tipped me to remove the "curse"- Dork!
    GOLD.

  25. #25
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losers pawning you off

    Guy: Go talk to him.

    Me: Why, is he the one with the money?

    Sometimes a blunt/smartass attitude works with younger guys. But basically, this kind of thing is the reason I hate approaching groups. Once one guys says no, all his friends will say no, too. Because they are sheep and/or closeted homosexuals. Or something. I dunno.

    Asking the first guy if he's buying a friend a dance, or better yet, assuming that he is, sounds like a good move too. I'll have to try that.

    About the only time I will go up to a group is if there is only one guys without a girl on his lap, or everybody else from his table has disappeared into the private dance area. Then I might assume that he will buy one to avoid being left out. Like I said, sheep.

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