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Thread: Why you dance??

  1. #1
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    Default Why you dance??

    I know there is a thread on this already, but I wondered how many of you had an "ugly duckling" experience as a kid.

    For me, I was told when I was little kid growing up that I was too fat, constantly told that I was chubby or 'solid'. As a teen I was constantly reminded that I had 'puppy fat', teased for having no boobs and no tan. Kids teased me at school, I had no friends, boys used to throw 5 cent pieces at me and girls would dump their lunch (eg yogurt and runny stuff) on me. I spent half my school life elsewhere avoiding the mess my peers were creating for me emotionally.

    As a young adult, I've had two boyfriends tell me I'm not fit enough, thin enough, too wobbly, and my last boyfriend actually judged a bikini contest, came home and told me I was a 4 out of 10 compared to the girls on stage. My most recent ex dumped me to 'play the field' with women who I don't even consider attractive!! I guess all of this cultivated zero self esteem or confidence.

    But I did something about it and cut out these negative people and realised I had the power to change anything, and that I had a choice. So I got a university degree (despite missing so much high school), and a full time job in the fitness industry. Got myself a nice set of boobs (people don't even know they're pretend- very tasteful), lost weight and toned up, and sport a tan. I'm a size 8-10, fit, strong and you know what? I think I am actually pretty.

    Why will I dance then? Because I never thought I would be hot enough for men to look at. Now that I am, they can damn well pay for it!! :o)

    (and of course the $$, I love a challenge, and I like the pretty clothes you get to take off...hehe, and I love love dancing).

    Do any of you guys have a similar story or were you all born gorgeous??

  2. #2
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    Well, I'm not dancing yet but I plan to... however I definitely relate to the ugly duckling syndrome.

    I was constantly teased for being too pale, too tall, too skinny. I had thick glasses, huge orthodontic devices in, and freckles. My hair was thick and bushy. Some bitch in middle school said I looked like a grandma. However, I've quite grown into myself and the haters are eating their words...

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    Because I can't type

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    Member devilishvixen79's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    I love the lights, the attention, the stage..... Growing up I had always pictured myself as a singer or actress..... I like knowing that all eyes are on me.

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    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    Note to everyone who plans on commenting:

    Please actually read the post, and then comment...

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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    SexKitten, I can relate to that. I know we are meant to be secure and not give a s**t what they think anyways....but it sure is nice to rub it in...one guy hadn't seen me for ten years and his jaw dropped and he said, "I had no idea you were so beautiful now". Haha at him.

    I have my high school reunion in a few weeks and the guy I liked told me I wasn't popular enough to go out with....can't wait to see him especially. God I'm so immature...lol...but I suppose when you have had pain and come out of the other side, there is a small percentage of your personality you're willing to invest in making those morons feel fat and insignificant- the way they made me feel many years ago.

    Payback rules.

  7. #7
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    Karma, biznatches! My good friend stacy was the #1 "stupid stinky stacy st***". The most picked on, most awkward girl in school at no fault of her own. Now, years later, she's getting a full ride to Princeton, has DD boobies, is gorgeous and sweet and has good friends.

    It's SO immature but it feels soooooo good...

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    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    I had a little bit of both. I was horrendo in middle school and developed a killer bod in HS. Still not enough to put me over the popular threshold though, because I was from the wrong neighbordhood and was unsure of myself- preferring to hang out on the patio with all the other people who didn't quite fit in.
    It's funy because I still don't get a lot of attention at college. I can count on one hand the number of times a boy has flirted w/ me and only once have I been asked out. I don't call attention to myself though. That's what's so great about dancing sometimes. I can be a little bookworm at school, an then go do work and feel like a goddess.

  9. #9
    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    To answer your question, yes I too was an "ugly duckling". I grew up a fairly poor, tomboy. Kids picked on me all through grade school. I made it through with a very reassuring Mom and a talent to dance. Summer before Jr.High Mom sent me to modeling school, where I was taught how to be girly.

    I would also like to say, please be careful. This job isn't all peachy keen, hey look at me I'm a hottie and I love to dance, watch me take off this pretty dress. You need to have an incredibly thick skin and be ready for men to treat you like shit.(granted not all, but it will happen). Plus depending where you are..as someone so eloquently wrote on SCL.."the fantasy factor is gone, and has been replaced with the pervert factor". Just please stay confident and strong. Beware the down side of this job.

  10. #10
    Senior Member terra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    When I was in Highschool, I had few friends (my female friends liked to "run away" from me for fun so most of the time I use to hang out with the guys). I was shy, "weird" and socially awkward... and stuttered. I had a big nose - which people use to tease me about constantly throughout primary (elementary?) and highschool. I've been told quite a lot things like "You'd be pretty if it wasn't for your nose" and "You're no super-model but you look 'unique'." "You'll never get a boyfriend", etc. I have also come here from EasternEurope so I got teased about the way I act and my accent (one girl once said that I talk like I'm mentally impaired). Heaps of people always told me to "say" things and laughed at how I talk. Also I was quite flat (B/C cup) which looks really small on my frame so I got teased a lot for that. Other than that I did have quite a lot of people still think I am "hot" - I had really long platinum blonde hair, was tanned and wore makeup. I think people either liked me for me looks and weirdness or hated me for my nose and weirdness :\

    Now I got a nose job (I got it when I was 17 - I've been saving up since I was 12) and no one ever has a problem with my face ^__^ Soon I am also getting my boobs done... oh, and a lot of people seem to think my accent is hot now

  11. #11
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    Admittedly that was one of the smaller things that lured me into dancing too. When I was in middle school, I was constantly teased for being pimply, flat-chested, and just plain ugly. I didn't get asked out and I spent more than a few school dances at home, crying my eyes out because no one would go with me. Then in early high school, I became hotter and this helped me to finally get guys, but I never grew any boobs and I always had a kinda young innocent look. Not that this innocent look made me "ugly" per say, but later on it definitely proved to be a disadvantage because guys would wrongly mistake me for being too young, or ditzy, or virginal as a result.

    When I started dancing, guys gave me compliments and attention. Yes, making money from these guys because they appreciated my looks, did help my esteem a bit. Although overall, what helped my esteem was more of the FINANCIAL benefits of dancing...By the time I was a young adult, it wasn't my looks or even so much my flat chest that earned me ridicule, but the fact that I was 22yrs old without a decent job or anything to my name. Either way, dancing DID help raise my confidence. As far as any ending to an "ugly duckling" story...well, I could rehash the story about the Polish boys in my town. A few years ago prior to dancing, I was at a popular local bar/diner and in my high/buzzed state, was hitting on these conceited Polish boys. Let's just say that they weren't very interested. A year later, they came into my strip club and saw me as a changed girl, with shorter red hair and fake boobs and making money. They actually recognized me before I recognized them, shows how much I bothered to think about them! It took a few tries of jogging my brain before I even remembered who they were. Now, these boys come into my new club and they try to take home the other girls and me. I think it is laughable because 2yrs ago when I was flat, blonde, and broke as a joke, they couldn't care less. So as a result, I took the one guy's phone number and only use it for my girl friends to prank call him from blocked numbers and pretend that they're interested in him as a big joke. Haha. There are other examples too...other people who turned me down before suddenly became interested in me when I got boobs, my hair done, had more money/status to my name, and had the seductive job of a stripper. Or people who dissed me before because I had no money, and then a year later, I would show up at their hang-out bar wearing a low-cut top and talking accidentally-on-purpose loud about my brand-new car.

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    Member alalia86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    Dancing keeps me young. I quit for a year to be a receptionist and it was the most soul-sucking experience ever. I love being on stage, interacting with people, having motivation to talk them. There's a sort of rush I get.

    Also, I'm somewhat of a jealous wife and it helps me feel less inferior when I see other hot women. I have plenty of men tell me I'm sexy and pay me for it.

    Yes, as a child I was an ugly duckling and that has a lot to do with my insecurities and me dancing now. But, I think it's for the best because I don't have to be tied down to a 9-5 job.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    I absolutely hated school. I was bullied and had a really shit time for years and years. I think that people who have had this kind of experience ang then decide to dance do it as a kind of middle finger up gesture: You thought I was so ugly as school, but look at me now! (I'm ot saying that's the only reason, by any means, but I think it's part of it). Can't tell you how much I like going into Tesco back in the old town where I went to school and seeing all the bastards who made my life hell in a dead end job! Mwa ha ha! Sorry, got a bit carried away!

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    Member msb1973's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    New to the boards here!
    I haven't started dancing yet, but will be meeting with an agent/touring the club on Tuesday. Nervous as hell, but excited too!

    Explaining things to a friend tonight I realized that yes, I went through the "ugly duckling" thing myself. I was the girl that got made fun of constantly (a b***h in 8th grade refused to wear a sweater that she had after I wore the same one because I was "fat, ugly trash"), I had always been extremely self conscious, and just never thought of myself as the type to dance.
    In the past year I've lost 40-45 pounds and am actually a size I haven't been since 4th or 5th grade! I've built up a great deal of self-esteem, and this may sound weird, but it does make sense...
    A few weeks ago I went with my friends to a gay club and we got called on stage for a "strip twister" type of game. I was down to my thong, and not scared, nervous, nothing. I got compliments, and my friend said he is STILL being asked about his "fabulous" girl he was with. My friends, and most of the gay men I've known are extremely honest and critical. If your outfit is ugly, your hair a mess, makeup just a tad off...THEY WILL LET YOU KNOW! To me, being called "fabulous" and being given those compliments was very empowering and shot my self esteem up a million percent! Seems odd, but it really made me see that I'm not ugly, I'm not plain, I do have a nice body, face and personality. I actually look a good 8-10 years younger than I really am
    I also like the fact that I can "separate" my "normal life" (mom, wife) from that of a dancer. Kind of an escape. I can live out a "character" while in a club, and make some decent extra cash too!

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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    the challenge & now the challenge + the $

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    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    I was never dreadfully unattractive, but I used to be awkward as hell. Fuck, I'm still awkward, but I figured out how to turn the awkwardness off in the club. The rest of the time, I embrace the awkwardness. It's how I know it's off-duty time. I'm quiet, pretty weird, kinda nerdy, and I have an uncommon habit of laughing uncontrollably at things that no one else finds funny... but hey, it sure shuts them up when you're like "I'm a stripper." 'Cause you're automatically the most badass girl at the party if you're a stripper, whether you're awkward or not.

    I actually rescind the "I was never dreadfully unattractive" comment. I suddenly stumbled upon a repressed memory of myself in 7th grade with stringy, mousy-blonde hair, braces affixed to my teeth with green and purple rubber bands (my choice, of course) and an oversized Jimmy Buffet shirt. I believe the shirt depicted a cheeseburger. I was a hot ticket item, let me tell you that.

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    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    hmm...well i never really felt ugly before....i mean maybe a little bit..not alot of guys liked me during elementry-middle school. and in high school , alot of guys liked me..but they DIDNT go to my school, they were random guys i met at stores, malls, etc. so nobody at MY school thought i had alot of guys chasing me. i sort of went..unoticed.

    and you know...i guess maybe because i was 'sexually repressed' from an early age. my family and i NEVER talked bout sex. all my parents EVER told me bout sex was "dont get pregnant, and dont have sex before yer married" thats it!!!!!! i mean, just like chris rock said, "some got daddy issues. like oh yeah dad, ill show you..im gonna dance naked to motely crue albums in clear heels!" i mean, i guess for me, stripping is sort of a rebelion. ive always rebeled against my parents..as they were really strict on me. very strict bout me wearing revealing clothes, VERY strict when it came to dating guys ...so now being a stripper is like HA! (in some subconcious way)

    when i first grew boobs, guys started to notice me more. after a while, i realized some guys (most) are fools when it comes to a womens looks. sex appeal is a STRENGTH. i started to think, hey, i could make money off my looks/personality, my god given gifts!(of course not forever..so im going to college too)

    i just turned 19, and i didnt know until i was 18 that u had to WORK for indepdence. i thought it would just come to you automaticaly when u turn 18. but nope. i always wanted to be INDEPDENT since i was young. so stripping = making money is a good way. to be your own boss. nobody to tell u what to do. i worked at other shitty jobs, where the boss is just always on yer ass. and i cannont STAND IT!

    u put up with bullshit, but a diffrent kind...i think the other kind of bullshit that u have to put up as a waitress at a classy resturant to be worst. there, u have to kiss ass. stripping..they kiss your ass.(not litteraly, i hope!)

    and i second, "teeth of the hyrdra" -"but hey, it sure shuts them up when you're like "I'm a stripper." 'Cause you're automatically the most badass girl at the party if you're a stripper, whether you're awkward or not. "

    when i tell people or old friends im a stripper...it really shuts them up and they look at me like , 'wow'. weither it be in a negititve way or postitive way..dont matter.
    [True Passion Demands Respect]
    [Question All Answers]



    Money Makes Me Horny

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    Veteran Member Paisley's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    I absolutely hated junior high and most of high school. I was a tomboy, awkward, and my family wasn't perceived as "rich enough" compared to those around me. Things got better as I got older, maybe people realized that it was just getting old and they got bored of making fun of me. Also I remarkably developed coordnation in high school (I was such a klutz pre-puberty) and being athletic did help stem some of the resentment. Also I looked a hell of a lot better post 14,15 years of age than I did before. But because of my old reputation and still not being "rich" I was always an outsider.

    I also went to an all girl school. I wonder if I would have gone to a co-ed school if things would have been different. Things got better though in college, and I was in an all woman's dorm and that helped me get over a large part of my misogyny.

    I have developed a lot more self-confidence. I am still nerdy as hell though and still prefer to be by myself most of the time.


    "That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth!" ~Jayne



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    Senior Member Ms Angela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    There are a few reasons for me.

    1. I have a similar thing going on here. I got picked on a lot and told that I was a 'fat cow' and that kind of stuff. My self esteem was terrible at best and I often thought like I looked like a retarded person. Being complimented for my looks is something I craaave these days.
    2. Attention... attention and more attention. I'm not afraid to say it.
    3. Mostly it's the money though. I work a very respectable desk job right now, especially for a 20 year old. My bf is on unemployment money but he -still- got more money than me this month. I just tipped over.
    4. The idea of being a stripper intrigued me alot when I was younger.

  20. #20
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    Quote Originally Posted by teethofthehydra
    but hey, it sure shuts them up when you're like "I'm a stripper." 'Cause you're automatically the most badass girl at the party if you're a stripper, whether you're awkward or not.
    OMG I know exactly what you're talking about! I had friends who thought I was either a goody two-shoes, or slighthly nerdy/flat chested. Partly because I look young for my age, they stereotyped me to be super innocent. There was this one group of guys in particular that I hung out with, from end of high school on...I even dated the one but we never really did anything...they always sized me up to be really innocent and I wonder if that's the reason the guy I dated never really tried anything with me. Even when I would get shit-faced plastered at the bar we all frequented, it didn't make me look more sexual or more bad-ass...apparently it just made me look like a nerdy drunken fool insteada a nerd. Oh, but then when I tell them a year later that I'm a dancer, and they see me with implants...they all wanted to hook up with me. I used that to my advantage! What's funny is, I'm a lot more "calmed down" with the drinking, partying, and dating than I ever was BEFORE I was a dancer...but just because they hear that I'm a dancer, they think that I'm this total seductress. It's so funny! One of the guys in that group even made a comment a few months ago, saying "yeah, you were so prude and innocent back when you first dated my friend in high school." I was a little annoyed, because I'd NEVER been prude and innocent, it's just that they assumed I was! I've always stayed the same person, if anything I party a lot less now but I've ALWAYS been sexual...even though some guys didn't realize it. Overall, the responses that I got for being a dancer have been good, but only because I've selectively chosen which people I want to tell...for example, my family and most high school classmates don't know.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Ms Angela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    Quote Originally Posted by PhillyDancer1982
    One of the guys in that group even made a comment a few months ago, saying "yeah, you were so prude and innocent back when you first dated my friend in high school." I was a little annoyed, because I'd NEVER been prude and innocent, it's just that they assumed I was! I've always stayed the same person, if anything I party a lot less now but I've ALWAYS been sexual...even though some guys didn't realize it.
    Man do I know what you are talking about.

    People always view me as being totally innocent/naive/nerdy girl when I oftentimes come out being the dirtiest in purity tests! XD

    I use that a lot to my advantage though..

  22. #22
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    I was desperate for money, but more than that, I was always the shy, skinny, awkward gal and wanted to change that.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    I never started to believe I was sexy until after I left HS and started stripping about 4 months after I left. I was constantly teased for having bad hair and well being kinda nerdy with very few friends. I got the ugly date to my senior prom who turned out to be a 16 yr. old sophmore . No one asked me I had to ask them to a dance. Most of the time I didnt even go to my homecomings b/c no one would ask me. At least I had one bf during HS who loved me dearly. We were at different HS's still at my HS I was the girl no one really talked to or wanted to admit they talked to. With my awkward uncool clothing, crazy unruly hair, shyness I turned it all around to become a pretty stripper years later.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  24. #24
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    Ahaha, described me to a "T" TM

  25. #25
    Veteran Member Minette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why you dance??

    It's interesting, it seems like most people hated middle school and high school and felt disliked and unattractive - even the kids who everyone thought were perfect and popular. It think it's all the hormones running rampant.

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