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Thread: RE: "But I can't have sex here"

  1. #1
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Thumbs down RE: "But I can't have sex here"

    OK this is a different spin on the comment that a lot of cheap/rude customers say. There are some customers that, when asked if they'd like a lapdance, decline and say "But I'd rather do a lot more than just a lapdance. I don't get to touch or anything! My idea of fun is sex, and I can't do that here." Well newsflash, Cheap Bastard...I can't have sex either, so you being "deprived" of having sex in the strip club doesn't make you "special"!! As much as the guys complain that they'd rather have sex than a "teasing" lapdance, or they try to ask if they can have sex in the VIP, ever think think that us dancers are being deprived from sex, too?

    For example, what if I happened to meet a hot guy at the club(a rarity, but hey it happens)...the type of guy that I'd probably arrange to hang out with and/or hook up with if I'd met him OTC at a "normal" place? Even if I was horny as hell, I couldn't have sex with him in the club because I would get fired for "extras" and besides, I don't mix work with personal life anyway. Sometimes giving a lapdance to a gorgeous guy can be just as much of a tease for me as it is for him. But I still abstain! Or what if I'd prefer spending the night with my boyfriend or "friend with benefits," but instead I'm stuck abstaining from sex all night long at the strip club, simply because I need to work and make money? By me going to work that night at the strip club, I'm not gonna be gettin laid there either or even that same night. And I'm stuck at work until 3am(unlike most guys with "normal" work schedules, who have their whole nights free to prowl around for girls but instead CHOOSE to come to a strip club), which at that time most boyfriends/"friends with benefits" are already sleeping. So yeah guys, I'M not gettin any when I'm at the strip club either; it's not just you. So stop whining that you hate strip clubs because you can't get laid there. If you hate strip clubs that much, stop coming in so that you stop wasting our time and bringing us down with your bad attitude.

    But anyways, what's with all these guys lately asking if they can have sex in the VIP, then declining because they can't? What assholes...and if they're willing to pay for sex, then they're degrading themselves as much as the ho that is involved. Because if they are paying for sex, that shows that they do not view themselves as "worthy" or "good enough" to be able to get a girlfriend/get laid for free like most normal people do. Any guy that pays for sex, shows signs of low self esteem as much as a girl who will stoop down to the level of doing extras because she doesn't think she can make the same amount of money otherwise. Just wanted to rant.

  2. #2
    God/dess JustJayda's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    Quote Originally Posted by PhillyDancer1982
    What assholes...and if they're willing to pay for sex, then they're degrading themselves as much as the ho that is involved. Because if they are paying for sex, that shows that they do not view themselves as "worthy" or "good enough" to be able to get a girlfriend/get laid for free like most normal people do. Any guy that pays for sex, shows signs of low self esteem as much as a girl who will stoop down to the level of doing extras because she doesn't think she can make the same amount of money otherwise. Just wanted to rant.

    I can't begin to define the term "normal" cuz I haven't seen a "normal" person yet. It's too subjective of a term.

    In any event, I don't think paying for sex shows low self esteem.....ALWAYS.

    I understand perfectly the desire to pay someone for sex when no "ties" are desired. That's what escorts are for. I have a problem with the two different worlds (stripping/escorting) spilling into each other and causing stress, unwanted-propositions etc. to dancers.

    In a perfect world, guys would seek paid sex elsewhere. However, like I said before: when I was looking for a girl for a threesome, I went to the stripclubs first. What better place to see her naked first, and avoid "buyers remorse". I wasn't "paying", but you get my drift. I think alot of men see no disrespect in trying dancers in the club, because they look at us as "sexual objects" etc.

    Plus, SOMEBODY is saying yes, or they wouldn't keep asking!!!

    Getting propositioned goes with the turf honey. It's annoying and all, but you can report it to management, or walk away and suck it up. Or, you can play the game as long as you are making money and feel safe (if they have the nerve to ask, don't say yes, but keep him there till his pockets are empty, and then tell another dancer what's up, so she can bleed his reserves!!!!)

    Peace
    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    Oh, and nope, rubbing titties isn't air dancing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    The cut-off age for stripping is when customers stop paying you.

    The end.

  3. #3
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    Yes and it's also the idea that if I can't have sex while working a shift at a strip club, why should they??? By simply working my shift, I am forgoing any chance to have sex, because by the time I get home it'll be too late to meet up with people I know. Also, I can't have sex in the club because in my opinion that's just wrong, and illegal, and grounds for firing. So by me going to the strip club, I'm essentially commiting to abstinence that night and it is very very annoying. If I haven't had sex in a few weeks because I've been working every single night(whether it be the strip club or my other job), why do I want these spoiled brat customers to expect sex??? If I can't get any, why should they? It's the whole "what's fair for the goose, is fair for the gander" type of thing.

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    Featured Member maximvsv's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    You're operating from the wrong premise. They're telling you they are declining because they "can't" have sex in there. They're waiting for you to suggest a solution to their problem.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    ^^^yeah, I think so too (or hope so)

    I might say something like, "it's great clean fun you don't have to be embarrassed to tell anyone you had."

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    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    Quote Originally Posted by JustJayda
    I understand perfectly the desire to pay someone for sex when no "ties" are desired. That's what escorts are for.
    Perfectly put. I have a lot more respect for a guy who is willing to pay for unattached sex (hopefully as clean and safe as possible) than a guy who leads a girl on and manipulates her into thinking that a relationship is there, when he really just wants to use her for a one or two-night stand. Not that there's anything wrong with casual sex either, as long as it's consensual, but have't we all been there? I've found myself wishing he'd just gone to an escort instead more than once.

    Also agree fully with this:

    Quote Originally Posted by JustJayda
    I have a problem with the two different worlds (stripping/escorting) spilling into each other and causing stress, unwanted-propositions etc. to dancers.
    Exactly. But I think I know what you're saying, PhillyDancer. Sometimes guys act as though they assume we don't have normal needs and wants too. And I feel you on the proposition frustration too. I had a guy ask (at least it was while getting some dances) if I wanted to earn $1,000 last night. I laughed, cut him right off, and said I knew I wasn't willing to do any one thing that would earn me an instant grand. (Yes, I had already pitched the Champagne Room to him, and he's another girl's regular . . . long story.)
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

  7. #7
    Featured Member maximvsv's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    ^^^yeah, I think so too (or hope so)

    I might say something like, "it's great clean fun you don't have to be embarrassed to tell anyone you had."
    That may be a good means of selling an alternative.

    Still, that's more of an "alternative" than a "solution". I'm guessing they're looking for somone to tell them there's some place in the club where they can have sex.

    For instance, at CHT, the front entrance is up about four feet of stairs, and the entrance is on the same level as the main floor. There is another eight feet or so of building above the exposed sections of the ceiling.

    So, there is room for two whole floors of space there, with no stairs visible from the main club.

    I can see where someone would be looking for the dancer to say "well, there's this other room..."

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    why would she say that though?

  9. #9
    Featured Member maximvsv's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    PD wouldn't.

    I was addressing the premise.

    Her premise is that there is a rule limiting her as well as limiting them. Rules, however, are not physical limitations.

    She's pointing out that she's not allowed to have sex there, so they shouldn't be asking her, when they know that.

    What I'm saying is that they already know, and they are inviting her to suggest a way for them all to get around the rules.

  10. #10
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    well, yeah, but not all guys that want sex actually expect sex to happen....and those are the ones (if you're patient, which I'm usually not) you try to talk into spending money ....otherwise, cut your losses and move on. The whole point of this thread is to learn how to deal with those customers, not give in to them.

    Geez, of course they are trying to find ways of finding sex. I'm trying to find ways of making money with no work. Somewhere we have to find a compromise because neither are realistic.

  11. #11
    Featured Member maximvsv's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    In the situation PD's decribing, it's pretty likely that these customers already don't expect it.

    They are still willing to ask, though, in their circumspect manner.

  12. #12
    Veteran Member Collegegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    My first week I have heard a lot of:

    "Can I get a dance? "

    "Ohh well I rather just fuck you/take you home"

    "Sorry sweety I work on my feet not my back"

    It was working untill I got
    ".....What about your knees?"

    I said no I'm here to support myself through college not give blowjobs. Then I walk away.....
    Sigh...

  13. #13
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    I just laugh at it...it's part of the job. My favorite thing to say to a guy when he asks for sex but declines a dance..."I don't want a dance, but I'd love to take you home..."

    "I'm sure you would, but I dance for money and I fuck for fun, and since I AM at work right now....get my point?" They either laugh with me (since I didn't tell him what an assmunch he is) and buy a dance or I walk away...no harm no foul and move on to the next guy who doesn't have his head up his butt.




  14. #14
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    I always say, 'but at least you get to go home and masturbate. I HAVE to stay here all night and it's torture for me because I can't until five AM!' It works.


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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    I like that Lilith, though I find any guy that says that isn't worth my time. Still, it probably prevents you from getting into a bad headspace right?

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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    Meh, I just laugh at them and ask for a dance. Maybe half the time they'll take one or two. And of course they'll keep trying to proposition me during the dance(s), and I just keep laughing at them until the dance is over and they're paying for the dance(s), and then I tell them sweetly "oh but honey, you know I can't do that". Giggle somemore, wish them a good night and be on my merry way.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  17. #17
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    I like the responses that ExoticEngineer, Emily, and LilithMorrigan gave. I might try using some of those responses next time I get propositioned. One of the points of my post was to mock the customers' "but I wanna have sex!" whining by pointing out that I can't have sex either...that it is a two-way street. (Not that I would ever want to have sex with >50% of the customers if I'd met them OTC at a normal place, because a lot of those guys are "not my type" or kinda shady, but it's just the principle of it. ) And yeah, a good amount of the guys who whine that they can't have sex, are whining because they know they cannot get sex in the club so they are stating this complaint as a way to excuse themselves for not tipping for buying dances. Those guys are lame...

  18. #18
    Featured Member maximvsv's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    I still say you're working from the wrong premise, especially if the object is mockery. If you make statements like that to these guys, I don't think you'll get a reaction demonstrating their embarassment over having asked.

  19. #19
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    Oh no, I've never said that to the guys at work(although some of the lines are kinda clever though). I've only said that kind of stuff to my girl friends outside of work, that it is annoying for guys to whine about not being able to have sex, on nights that I have to sacrifice seeing boyfriends/"friends with benefits" to go to work. It's more of an outside-of-work joke than something I'd ever say to customers.

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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    I've used this approach before. I copy some sex provider ads from the alternative paper, keep them in my work purse(about the size of a business card nor a little bigger) and tell the guys " This is a strip club. This is a place to enjoy a few drinks, have a few dances and just relax, not to get laid. If you want sex (I give them the small flyer) these girls are the ones to call. And I say it loudly. Now how about getting another drink and we do some dances. I'm sure you can line one of those girls up for sex tomorrow, can't you"?

  21. #21
    God/dess JustJayda's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    as long as the flyers you give out don't have pictures (I guess you are hand copying) of the girl's you're dancing with in the club (that escort too )..GREAT IDEA!!!! I would imagine that would be pretty akward for everyone involved otherwise!
    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    Oh, and nope, rubbing titties isn't air dancing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    The cut-off age for stripping is when customers stop paying you.

    The end.

  22. #22
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    No pictures, just liner ads. In the alternative papers there are just liner ads with phone #s. I just cut out 3-4 liner ads and copied them together on a tiny piece of paper about the size of a driver's license.

  23. #23
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But I can't have sex here"

    I tried that. My club got mad at me for sending guys to a brothel. Just a heads up, the club may not like it.


    Look like a woman
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