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Thread: Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

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    Default Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

    So Wednesday night, a customer pulls me aside (after I tried talking to him earlier) and is telling me how pretty my eyes are and blah, blah and invites me back to the VIP room. This dancer comes up to me and says "Actually, I'm going back there with him" I said to her "no problem, I'm not trying to take him away from you, he's asking me something". So then I say loud enough for her to hear me, "do you want me to leave since you're already with her?" He says "No, I want you to join all of us" So, I'm like great, I'm not stepping on any dancers toes or anything like that.

    So we all get back to the VIP, there's 2 men and 3 dancers back there. The one customer who invited me back there asked the bouncer what was allowed back there and the bouncer spelled it out that the dancers could touch you but you cannot touch the dancers. Of course the customer said "well, in xyz you're allowed to" the bouncer said "well this isn't xyz", you can't touch the dancers and this room will be checked on from time to time. So as soon as the bouncer left, the girls started fondling each others breasts and then actually encouraged the customers to do the same!!! I asked them "what are you doing over there?" They said they were comparing boob size and boob density. This was going on while I still had my bra and shirt on. So then the grabbier of the two customers started to reach over to feel mine! Since we hadn't gotten paid yet, I kinda played cutsie that I was shy and like to take things a little slower on a first date. So I just kept on playing up the shy, innocent thing until we got paid. I also did say that it's not allowed here that there's no touching allowed and that we could get fired for allowing it.

    So, my question is, would any of you have said something to the girl #1 that was instigating it and encouraging it to happen or would you not say anything? Girl #2 was pretty much just going along with what girl #1 was doing, I don't think Girl #2 would've done that if Girl #1 hadn't encouraged it. I was so tempted to pull girl #1 to the side and say "WTF are you doing? Why are you letting these men fondle your breasts when you don't have to?" We work in an airdance to light one-way contact, so it wasn't like she had to let them do that. I got paid the exact same amount the other 2 girls got and I wasn't touched at all because I WILL NOT let anyone touch me! But the thing is, I was put in a very awkward position there, when it wasn't necessary! I was that close from walking out and saying F$ck with the money, I don't want it that bad, but luckily I was able to get away with it. I was so close to pulling her to the side and telling her to stop encouraging them and to say to her WTF are you doing?

    Considering that we work in an airdance club where the customers are not allowed to touch the dancers, would anyone have said something to the girl that was instigating/encouraging it or just played it up the way I did until I got paid? I don't like to stir up anything or cause tension with another dancer because I basicaly get along with everyone but that really pissed me off! Any feedback would greatly be appreciated, I really didn't know what to do because I've never been in this situation before. I either do VIP's alone or with girls that I know won't do that. Thanks in advance for advice and sorry this is so long!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

    The only thing I can say to you is that shit is never as it seems. Never. And the "rules" don't always apply. Should they? Sure! But that doesn't usually make the right thing happen. It's quite possible that if a fair number of girls aren't following the rules, management doesn't care.

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    Reznor
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    Default Re: Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

    So basically no, I wouldn't have said anything to her, because I know how dancers can be...

    I'd have said to the guy "I see that they're doing that, but I'm not like that"

    And yes that response can lose you money.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

    Lol, they said they were compairing boob size and density? LMAO!!!

    Well, I wouldn't say anything. It's not like you're going to show her the error of her ways and she's going to say, "gee, thanks leogirl, I never thought of it like that before". Instead, it would start drama. Hopefully, they saw that you got paid the same without being touched and they'll think twice next time.
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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

    I would have waited until I got paid, too, but definitely would have talked to both girls afterwards.

    Something condescending along the lines of "hon, you don't have to do that! They'll pay either way" is my usual tactic.

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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver
    I would have waited until I got paid, too, but definitely would have talked to both girls afterwards.

    Something condescending along the lines of "hon, you don't have to do that! They'll pay either way" is my usual tactic.

    I agree with Scarlett. I'd say something more along the lines of ^^^ than somethng about how they could get in trouble because I doubt they really care about the second one.

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    Veteran Member Krissy Kennedy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

    I personally wouldn't have said anything. If they want to be groped, or think they have to let guys grope them to make money, you're not going to change their mindset. (sorry!) I have had problems with this same situation as well...I'll be doing a dance, and the guy will ask why other dancers are grinding, getting their boobs fondled, etc. (we're not *supposed* to be doing any of this) I just tell them it is at the discretion of the dancer what she will allow and not allow, and I choose not to be touched. Some guys appreciate it, some...not so much. LOL! But hey, you can't please all of the people all of the time.
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    Default Re: Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

    Must be nice to not be touched during a dance! My club allows contact within reason. If the dancer is comfortable with it, it's usually allowed. The guys are normally very well behaved and know the limits. But I wouldn't have said anything to her. Maybe she just likes to be touched?

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    Veteran Member Krissy Kennedy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

    I should have rephrased that...I don't mind if they touch my legs and stuff...just not my boobs or my "privates". I've seen girls in the back getting fingered and eaten out. (which we are DEFINITELY not suppoosed to do), but hey, who am I to judge? Just don't try to pull it with me, or you'll get your fingers broken.
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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

    I've had that same thing happen to me lots of times....I am a bit more laid back when I get to the VIP room, but within reason and depending on each circumstance....

    But if girl I was working VIP with was doing something outside of the lines i was comfortable with, I might pull the guy that I was entertaining more to the side, or even to a different area and be more one on one with him so that they didn't influence our time.

    If that's not possible, I think you did exactly what you should have done....maybe next time you have to go to VIP with her, say something BEFORE you both get up there, like, "Hey, let's not take things as far as last time, try to follow the rules a bit maybe?" (BIG smile)

    Good luck girl!




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    Default Re: Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver
    I would have waited until I got paid, too, but definitely would have talked to both girls afterwards.

    Something condescending along the lines of "hon, you don't have to do that! They'll pay either way" is my usual tactic.
    Yea, I agree with what Scarlett said totally.







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    Default Re: Would you have said something to her? Advice needed & rant- a little long!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21
    Lol, they said they were compairing boob size and density? LMAO!!!
    Yeah, I think you already got your answer...
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