This is kind of a rant, so I'm not sure if it should go in here...
But basically I eat small meals every few hours - which is meant to be better for you. So every 3 hours or so I might eat a bit of sushi, or some fruit, or half a sandwich or something. Today at uni I join my friends in the cafeteria, and there is a guy sitting with them that has been around a few times before but is better friends with them than me because I only met him about a week and a half ago. All of a sudden he says "Omg, you never stop eating. You are ALWAYS eating. You eat way too much."
I suffered ED's since I was 9, due to my psychotic body dysmorphic father, and all my friends - but him up until now - knew this, so one interrupts him and is like "she runs over 10km a day, she needs her energy"
Then a friend offers me some wedges and I decline, and the guy is like "Ohhh that's right because she might get fat."
I then freak. I start shrieking at him that some people actually do have actual problems with food, not just stupid girls complaining "oh no that'd make me fat" but actually have deep psychological issues with food and it's taken a long time and a lot of counselling to make me feel ok eating regularly but it's a fine thread that's snapped by comments like that.
Then he's like "oh, sorry, I didn't know" but completely insincerely, so I continue to point out that he shouldn't make comments like that to people he doesn't know, and his excuse is "but I saw you eat at 9am yesterday!! 9am!!" and then I point out the fact that considering I'm in the gym from 6:30am - 8:30am that 9am is when I have breakfast and that it's not really abnormal. My friends then come down on him because they realised how self concious I get when people make comments like that - mostly because it brings up memories of what my father used to say and do to me.
But I'm getting so frustrated at people making comments like this!
Another friend saw me eating vegetables and was like "omg are you on a diet like every other girl?" I then point out that considering I have to be naked in front of a room of people on a regular basis, I have a good reason to watch what I eat. Another friend is like "I don't know why you work out so much and eat so healthily. You're skinnier than everyone else in this room (a science lab)" and my response was "well they're not the girls I'm up against at work am I - and the point is I'm healthier than they are".
Everyone seems to be making really obscure body comments to me. None of them seem to understand lately that being paid on how you look means that I really have to take care of how I look. And what is wrong with exercising regularly and trying to eat well? I still have fun, and I do eat what I want but what I want is healthy food.
People always tell me that I think about body image too much - yet they always make comments on my body or what I'm eating blah blah. And it's not even a topic I ever bring up - I don't actually like talking about anything body related, it's always someone else who brings up the topic.
I don't know what my point is. I'm just frustrated. I'm also being sick of being accused of just being a stupid diet obsessed girl. They have no idea how it felt to be 11 years old with my hair falling out because I was becoming so underweight and my father to turn around and tell me I was a fat biatch that was going to die alone because nobody loves fat people. Arrrrgh. I just want to cry. Sorry for the rant![]()



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) But I am certainly not overweight. That's not the point. It's that he made me feel bad for eating, then starts mocking me when I turn down deep fried cafeteria wedges.
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