Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 29

Thread: Body image - rant...

  1. #1
    Veteran Member mia_bella's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    234
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default Body image - rant...

    This is kind of a rant, so I'm not sure if it should go in here...

    But basically I eat small meals every few hours - which is meant to be better for you. So every 3 hours or so I might eat a bit of sushi, or some fruit, or half a sandwich or something. Today at uni I join my friends in the cafeteria, and there is a guy sitting with them that has been around a few times before but is better friends with them than me because I only met him about a week and a half ago. All of a sudden he says "Omg, you never stop eating. You are ALWAYS eating. You eat way too much."
    I suffered ED's since I was 9, due to my psychotic body dysmorphic father, and all my friends - but him up until now - knew this, so one interrupts him and is like "she runs over 10km a day, she needs her energy"
    Then a friend offers me some wedges and I decline, and the guy is like "Ohhh that's right because she might get fat."
    I then freak. I start shrieking at him that some people actually do have actual problems with food, not just stupid girls complaining "oh no that'd make me fat" but actually have deep psychological issues with food and it's taken a long time and a lot of counselling to make me feel ok eating regularly but it's a fine thread that's snapped by comments like that.
    Then he's like "oh, sorry, I didn't know" but completely insincerely, so I continue to point out that he shouldn't make comments like that to people he doesn't know, and his excuse is "but I saw you eat at 9am yesterday!! 9am!!" and then I point out the fact that considering I'm in the gym from 6:30am - 8:30am that 9am is when I have breakfast and that it's not really abnormal. My friends then come down on him because they realised how self concious I get when people make comments like that - mostly because it brings up memories of what my father used to say and do to me.

    But I'm getting so frustrated at people making comments like this!

    Another friend saw me eating vegetables and was like "omg are you on a diet like every other girl?" I then point out that considering I have to be naked in front of a room of people on a regular basis, I have a good reason to watch what I eat. Another friend is like "I don't know why you work out so much and eat so healthily. You're skinnier than everyone else in this room (a science lab)" and my response was "well they're not the girls I'm up against at work am I - and the point is I'm healthier than they are".

    Everyone seems to be making really obscure body comments to me. None of them seem to understand lately that being paid on how you look means that I really have to take care of how I look. And what is wrong with exercising regularly and trying to eat well? I still have fun, and I do eat what I want but what I want is healthy food.

    People always tell me that I think about body image too much - yet they always make comments on my body or what I'm eating blah blah. And it's not even a topic I ever bring up - I don't actually like talking about anything body related, it's always someone else who brings up the topic.

    I don't know what my point is. I'm just frustrated. I'm also being sick of being accused of just being a stupid diet obsessed girl. They have no idea how it felt to be 11 years old with my hair falling out because I was becoming so underweight and my father to turn around and tell me I was a fat biatch that was going to die alone because nobody loves fat people. Arrrrgh. I just want to cry. Sorry for the rant

  2. #2
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    11,302
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 143 Times in 72 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    oh, I get that too. I eat a lot (like you, frequently, but small meals) and I bring my own food to work so I can eat healthy. I get the "you're always eating!" comments.

    And the weird looks for bringing my own food like I'm super obsessed. I just know how I am. I like to eat, and I prefer to have a salad over donuts, but I'll eat donuts if it's all there is and feel like shit afterwards.

    Anyway, a lot of it is their own insecurity. It makes them feel better to put you down or compare themselves to you.

  3. #3
    aussiepunkshocker
    Guest

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    Thats horrible!
    I used to get the same sort of remarks alot from total strangers, its just so rude! I find this type of rudeness the hardest to ignore because it's just so totally uncalled for it's not funny. I dont get it so much anymore, Im not sure what's changed.

    Dont let peoples stupid comments get to you - although it's hard. (I ranted in a blog about this sort of thing a few weeks ago!) We as adults shouldnt have to explain shit to anyone about what we eat when, end of story.

    I havent ever found a truely satisfactory way of dealing with this so I cant offer any advice there. Just be happy wioth yourself and be happy that you're not eating all the crap so many people live on!

  4. #4
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2006
    Posts
    340
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    Aww, comments like that are always annoying. I let people know firmly my choices are not up for discussion, period. I could talk them all down, but honestly those people are not worth the energy. Some crappy commentary always filters through, but like it's been said...it reflects more on them than you.

  5. #5
    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    tampa
    Posts
    1,582
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 394 Times in 179 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    I know EXACTLY what you feel. I deal with it everyday at work (although I'm retired from dancing now, currently a teacher). EVERY DAY at lunch I get comments "that's all you're eating?!" and "where's your food," and "thats how you stay skinny - you DONT eat." I agree, it is extremely frustrating. I do eat, I just eat small, balanced, frequent meals... so my spinach salad with chicken breast is nothing compared to their heaping piles of pasta (FOR LUNCH!)

    I just smile and ignore it. People want to see you fail, and that's why they will taunt you. Just keep doing what youre doing, stay healthy, and fuck anyone who wants to give you shit about it. They're just jealous.

  6. #6
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    295
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    As Tampadancer said, they are just jealous. I agree.

    I had a small eating disorder when I was younger also. I was a ballerina and was convinced to stay 90lbs. There were days when I wouldn't eat more than an apple. My mother never knew.

    The thing is, it important to be HEALTHY, not thin. But usually when you are healthy, you end up being thin. Just focus on your health and screw everyone else.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Ms Angela's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Iceland
    Posts
    137
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    I agree, it's insecurity.

    Everyone wants to see a 'magic way' of getting fit and pretty but almost no one really understands that -that's not how it works-. Keeping in shape is a constant battle, when someone else is fighting it better than you? It's a big chunky bite of reality, and that sucks.

    Just throw it in their face. I mean, what do they know about healthy? Are you seeing them exercise more than getting up for another slize of pizza? Didn't think so.


  8. #8
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    1,128
    Thanks
    96
    Thanked 43 Times in 21 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    i agree that its jealousy. and their desire to see others fail. i only drink water but both friends and famoly who know that will insist on offering me soda just in case i might give in and actually accept it. and at work they will wave dougnuts in my face and make stupid comments like "she wont take one cause then she would have to exercise for a few hours" in a sarcastic way. then they will comment on my lunch that i pack at home while they are busy stuffing down their mcdonalds food. it seems like the comments never stop but then at the sam time they say "oh, how did you get so thin" and try to hint that i used drugs to do it. its extremely annoying but it just reflects their own insecurities because they dont know how to stop eating crap and get off their ass and exercise.

  9. #9
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    3,786
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    Again I have to say WTF??? Why is it ok for people to say exactly what's on their little minds to complete strangers? Your eating plan, just like religion or politics is OFF LIMITS unless you volunteer the info yourself.

    I too know what that's like. I have to eat at least 6 small meals throughout the day for hypoglycemia (that and my no processed food diet).

    Because I eat so much and weigh so little, most people assume I'm scarfing and barfing. I actually had someone ask me how my finger tastes!!!

    You need to tune them out and tune in to your body.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt

  10. #10
    Banned rozz's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Taxachusetts
    Posts
    2,369
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    My question is: why the hell is it okay to rag on someone for eating in a healthy manner, but not okay to rip an obese person a new orifice for what they pile on their plate?

    I bring homemade smoothies to work and drink them every 2-3 hours. They're nutritious and fill me up. People constantly ask me why I don't eat "real" food (and the fun followup question, "are you on some kind of freaky diet?") as they suck down their bags of candy and soda.

  11. #11
    God/dess
    Joined
    May 2004
    Posts
    6,336
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 11 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    Quote Originally Posted by rozz
    My question is: why the hell is it okay to rag on someone for eating in a healthy manner, but not okay to rip an obese person a new orifice for what they pile on their plate?

    I bring homemade smoothies to work and drink them every 2-3 hours. They're nutritious and fill me up. People constantly ask me why I don't eat "real" food (and the fun followup question, "are you on some kind of freaky diet?") as they suck down their bags of candy and soda.

    No kidding. It's way taboo to call out unhealthy eating, but a situation like mia_bella's is a social norm.

  12. #12
    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    1,650
    Thanks
    48
    Thanked 24 Times in 16 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    I agree that it's jealosy. Sad thing is, is they're trying to sabotage you.
    My mother is on a real diet..... her normal eating habits are a good meal, followed by a whole pint of ice cream, so now she has cut out the ice cream, and the weight started falling off.

    My father on the other hand ( they are still married) is a musician and runs around with his friends all day eating total crap. I mean, my dad will have two slices of cheesecake and call that a lunch and wash it down with some diet coke and a couple pieces of a dark chocolate bar. We all kno wthat he is on an early death path, but he doesn't care, and has already been told he is borderline diabetic.... but he doesn't stop.

    Well, seeing my mom lose weight has made him feel bad, and instead of jumping on the bandwagon to join her, he has started bringing home her favorite ice cream, every night. And he does the grocery shopping for them, and has quit buying half of the healthy things on her list but replacing them with beer and cheetoes, even though my dad doesn't drink- he expects my mom to drink it.

    I don't know if he realizes what he is doing, but I think so, and I think the people telling you these things realize how they are making you feel as well. Plain and simple jealosy.
    " Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan

    " If you're young and sexy, why not spend a few years
    Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper

  13. #13
    Veteran Member bella du jour's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2006
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    397
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked 51 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt

    ^ That's an excellent qoute DylanAngel!




    All about my boobs...

  14. #14
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Home
    Posts
    13,598
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 28 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    I completely understand where you are coming from. The only way to deal with it is to ignore it. Who cares if you're always eating? As long as its healthy, more power to you. The problem with our society is that if you are not waif thin, then you are fat. You either eat too much or not enough.

    You have 2 choices in these situations...you can listen to it and take it personally or you can ignore it and not take it personally.

    In a lot of cases, people say things one way and we interpret them in another (depending on our current self image, emotional state and mood). In the end, its all about you and how you choose to react to these comments.

  15. #15
    Veteran Member mia_bella's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    234
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    Ahh thank you all of you. At least I knew people here would understand, seeing as many of my friends don't seem to. None of them seem to understand that I'm not trying to lose weight, that I'm trying to prevent weight gain. When I turn down food they always make comments like "oh no she's on a diet, she thinks she needs to be thinner." no matter how much I point out no I'm not trying to lose weight, but if I was to eat their crap all the time I would gain weight. I'm in fact pretty satisfied with the way I am right now and it's taken a long time to be that way, but they all seem to believe I'm trying to lose weight even though I purposely gained back a 2 kilos because I thought I was looking too child like.

    Meanwhile, I went to sit with my friends today at a BBQ at uni but I wasn't eating any of it - and that guy was there, and half way through saying "Ohhh so you've finally stopped eating" when I cut him off and said...hahaha...
    "I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your forehead. You're not my friend and you're obviously not someone I want as my friend. I don't like you and I'm not going to pretend to so please don't speak to me."
    After a few minutes of sitting very silently he got up and left and didn't say a word.

  16. #16
    God/dess
    Joined
    May 2004
    Posts
    6,336
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 11 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    Tell him you want to look good in your little black dress when you attend everyone's heart attack induced funerals.

    Seriously. People should respect and look up to those that eat right and healthy.

  17. #17
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Another Country
    Posts
    18,664
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 148 Times in 100 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    Once my doctor told me I was dying from malnutrition and exhaustion. I was on meth. I was a week, at most, from death he said. I went to work that night and a girl exclaimed, 'you look SO good and skinny! What diet are you ON?' I wanted to punch her.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  18. #18
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    US
    Posts
    356
    Thanks
    214
    Thanked 68 Times in 36 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    Well - you didn't mention your weight, or whether you are at a healthy weight. So it is hard to say how to respond.

    If you are truly not unhealthily underweight, then fuck what anyone else says. I get many comments like that, but usually from overweight people or above what i consider normal.

  19. #19
    Veteran Member mia_bella's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    234
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    I'm not underweight (well maybe my BMI puts me in the underweight range, but seriously, I do not look underweight, too much muscle for that ) But I am certainly not overweight. That's not the point. It's that he made me feel bad for eating, then starts mocking me when I turn down deep fried cafeteria wedges.

    I was slightly overweight last year however, due to glandular fever and other things, but I've lost all that weight I put on through exercise and...well I just ate a huge slice of apple cinnamon bread, becoming a daily habit, so I don't think I'm really on a diet other than I make healthy choices at all opportunities, but since I shed that excess weight, that's about when it seemed everyone started to make me feel bad about how I look, even though I believe, and so does my sister, that I look better than I ever have.

  20. #20
    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Location
    where they like American Boys
    Posts
    2,111
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    You know mia bella, I just start getting close to this female. She is over weight! I am not talking about 50 pounds. I am talking about at least 80-100 pounds. When I had first met her she seem really nice. I felt like I have a true friend around her! She always complain to me, about her weight and how she dont like her body! Yet when she is in public she acts totally differant! She always doing sexy poses. She always make sure her hair, nails and make-up is perfect. If I did not hang out with her! I would have thought she had very high self esteem! You could tell by the way she act. Now she is making comments comparing my body with hers! She will say not everybody have perky breast implants like you!The girl said she have to use two bras to get her breast perky. She told me her breast are natural. She will role her eyes when other guys try to come on to me. She even said I need to have more meat on my bones.

    I plan to talk to her about her comments. I think some times people make comments. To put you down to make themseleves look good, Or because they are jealous. Or just maybe they do not aware of the negative comments. They are making because they hate thier body image. Now your friends really thought something was wrong they should have a talk with you! Not make negative comments. My sister is very skinny. She has always been skinny. She is underweight compare to her BMI always! But she is nothing but muscle. She eats like a pig. She never eat right! Soda is her best friend! Yet she is so skinny and have perfect skin! I hear people make the very nasty comment! So I know what you mean, when it comes to other people view on your body image. Currently I am 5feet 5inches and 118 pounds. I was downtown shooping in Saks. This woman came up to me and told me I was fat. I say fuck whatever people think about your body image. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Unless you have a serious eating disorder promblem and you need help!
    If you want the present to be differant from the past, study the past.
    Baruch Spindza

    It is what it is, not what you want it to become, that's important -- at least for now. Today, remember that things worth having are worth waiting for!
    The Stars

    Minds are like parachutes: They only function when open.
    Thomas Dewar

    Dont throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
    Swedish Proverb

  21. #21
    Senior Member susan22's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    119
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    5'5", 118 lbs and she called you fat? What kind of mind altering substance was that woman on? And that in the US where like half the population is obese or on its way there? I can't imagine anything like this happening over here, and it's extremely rare to see truely obese or even just significantly overweight people on the street around these parts of Europe.

  22. #22
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2005
    Location
    a safe place for dancers, just ask me
    Posts
    2,132
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    these days the things i'm eating are incredibly simple... healthy, whole food. the only thing that actually stops people digging further into what i'm eating, or not eating, is to tell them "i'm allergic to wheat and dairy"... bam, there goes an entire spectrum of food.

    i shouldn't have to give anyone a reason as to why i do what i do... but since they're all determined to butt their noses in, i just tell them something they can't argue with to make them shut up and go away.

    it's convenient that i am allergic to these things, as well as being a convenient conversation stopper for the 'oooh you're trying to be skinny', idiots.

  23. #23
    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Location
    where they like American Boys
    Posts
    2,111
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    Quote Originally Posted by susan22
    5'5", 118 lbs and she called you fat? What kind of mind altering substance was that woman on? And that in the US where like half the population is obese or on its way there? I can't imagine anything like this happening over here, and it's extremely rare to see truely obese or even just significantly overweight people on the street around these parts of Europe.

    I do not know what type of substance she as on! I just thought she was just being a bitch! Because she was bigger than me.
    If you want the present to be differant from the past, study the past.
    Baruch Spindza

    It is what it is, not what you want it to become, that's important -- at least for now. Today, remember that things worth having are worth waiting for!
    The Stars

    Minds are like parachutes: They only function when open.
    Thomas Dewar

    Dont throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
    Swedish Proverb

  24. #24
    Senior Member susan22's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    119
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    Reminds me of a girl I had a fling with when I lived in NYC. She was voluptuous and curvy but not fat in the least. Her mom, on the other hand, who was so heavy and had such a huge ass that I marveled at how she managed to fit through her apartment door kept telling Janet how fat she was and lecturing her to diet. All the while she herself was eating all kinds of crappy food all day long. Made me realize that some people simply are delusional beyond repair.

  25. #25
    Veteran Member mia_bella's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    234
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: Body image - rant...

    I've always been taunted with being fat when I wasn't - always by fat people. I remember the fattest guy in my year at school used to make pig snorting noises at me and tell me I was so fat. Another girl used to do it too even though she was quite obese as well. I think that happened though because they knew my dad was making me diet all the time and it amused them or something, because I was underweight to the point of ammenhorrea, but everyone in my father's family is morbidly obese and he would tell me I was turning out just like them. The first time he told me I was getting too fat was when I was 7. He has no idea what he's done to me, and my family denies that it all went on because they know how much I struggle with food now.

    But I'm good now, I eat regularly and try not to punish myself anymore, even though I often do feel a lot of guilt sometimes. I struggled a lot last year after I got sick and put on weight, and it seems my friends were nicer to me then when I was larger, even though a lot of it was oedema and I actually felt physically uncomfortable all the time.
    But now that I'm back to a healthy weight with good muscle tone and such...it's like they're all against me. I run between 8-11km depending on how I feel and how much time I have, before my morning classes. Whenever I get to class, one of my friends always tells me that I'm pushing myself way too hard and tries to make me feel bad about how much time I just spent in the gym. One time she had to put something in my locker at the gym and had to ask which one was mine, and the guy was like "oh but she probably won't get that today, she came in this morning" and then she messages me saying to stop pushing myself and get some rest! And I've taken this week off and am about to take another 4 weeks off so other than going to the gym in the morning, my day is pretty sedentary!

    But if I don't go to the gym and I eat something I consider as "bad" and start having guilt feelings, her and other friends will then go on to tell me how well...hopefully I won't get fat from it, and that that's why they didn't have any or as much or whatever.

    Everyone gives me so many mixed messages. Some people tell me I'm eating too much. Some people tell me I'm not eating enough. Others say I push myself too hard or that I'm not going hard enough. But they don't do this to eachother, I don't know why they feel it's ok to do it to me.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Is it possible to have TOO positive a body image?
    By thechaosfairy in forum Body Business
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 08-03-2008, 10:14 PM
  2. Body Image
    By sexy_celeste in forum Body Business
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-05-2008, 12:29 PM
  3. SF and Body Image...
    By SeXyCuTeGuRL09 in forum Club Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 04-28-2008, 11:44 PM
  4. body image and comparing
    By pinkpvc in forum Body Business
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 04-05-2007, 03:43 AM
  5. some body image stuff (possible rant)
    By Darcy Foxx in forum Body Business
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 12-06-2006, 06:02 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •