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Thread: she suspects something

  1. #1
    Featured Member mina loy's Avatar
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    Default she suspects something

    i've been dancing for 3 months and i live with my mom while i attend graduate school. i told her i was working as a waitress at a bar/restaurant called chowderhouse. that has worked well up until now.

    she asked me today why i got off of work at 2 a.m. when "chowderhouse" closes at 10 p.m. apparently there is a real restaurant called chowderhouse in san francisco. after prompting i told her that after i got off at the "restaurant" i worked up the street as a cocktail waitress at the "chowderhouse bar" *smacks forehead* until 2 a.m. and that i dress in flashy clothes and high heels.

    she reprimanded me for lying, saying that she was disappointed in me, etc. she asked that if she needed to contact me while i was working would she call chowderhouse to get me on the line. i said that i always had my cell phone on me and could call whenever she wanted and i'd check messages on my break (true). she spun off on the "what if you're not there when i need you" line.

    oh man.

    i asked my friend about what to do. he strongly suggested honesty and that things like this have a way of becoming known somehow. plus, that i should brush it off as no big deal. i'm just afraid that i'll get kicked out of the house (not because of what i do but because of how much i earn [which isn't that much yet]) and she'll always be harping on me about my work and safety, even though the bouncers take really good care of us. i work at a topless club and don't really take off my clothes. i don't do extras. i always say no to offers for sex. sadly, those things don't ease a mother's mind.

    my strategy that i've been thinking of is to in a week "quit" working at the "restaurant" and the "bar" and get a "job" cocktail waitressing at a "gentleman's club"...that way she can call the real club i work at and ask for me. how does that sound? any advice? or is that more trouble than it's worth? i hate lying and i hate the stigma of my job...but i love my work. agh!

  2. #2
    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    How old are you? Maybe it's about time you establish yourself as an adult. I'd hate to still be tiptoe-ing around my parents when I was old enough to be in gradute school. Then again, that's me and my parents were of no use financially. I had nothing to lose. I guess if your folks are paying for college/housing it could be different. Your "waitressing" job idea sounds like a good way to test the waters. See how your mom's reacts and go from there.

    edit: to correct spelling
    Last edited by Zabrina; 10-11-2006 at 01:50 PM.

  3. #3
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    My line to my mother was that I was working for a beverage promoter and we visited various bars around the city and surrounding areas, so I was never sure where I would be working on any given night, but I also said that I kept my cell phone on me, so she could reach me that way.

    Since you are in a big city this line would work for you, too. You could even say you got hooked up when the promotion team came to your bar and saw what a great job you do, and wanted your vivacious personality on their team, instead.

    You might actually be able to get away with bringing you stripper gear in the house w/o a lot of flack from you mom, because it is just your work "uniform". The beverage promoter girls do look a lot like strippers when they are dressed up and ready to promote.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Featured Member mina loy's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    i'm 22.

    i've also considered saying that i'm part of a burlesque troupe. however, that could lead her to want to see me perform.

    paris, that's a great idea. i know nothing about beverage promotion, though. you'll have to educate me.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    I think your time for getting away with all this is running out really really fast. If you really really can't tell her, I think what you have planned is okay.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Newbie waywith's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    Lying can usually get the job done for a while, and can be great fun, but just remember that it will eventually unravel. Lies always do. If you just need to buy time to get out of the house, then run your game. But if you don't plan on telling her ever, then I'd say keep it really vague and simple (Paris is on the right track) so you don't have to remember all sorts of phony details ten years from now at Christmas dinner.

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    Veteran Member DeeJayOz's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    Out of everyone in my family, the only one that knows what I really do for a living in my mother. Everyone else in my family is so religious that it is not worth the heartache and hassle to explain the whole thing to them. Mom knows that I'm a S/C DJ, and everyone else thinks that I work security for a little hole in the wall casino out here in vegas.

    It has been my experience that the 'general public' has a great misunderstanding about this industry. Alot of people who have not been exposed to this enviroment have nothing to go on but what hollywood (the movie Showgirls is a great example) has told them. Sex and possibly orgies in the VIP room, drugs, multipule sexual parteners, drugs, booze, drugs, prostitution, and drugs. The general "uneducated" (key word) public, in my opinion, has this idea that every S/C is a hedonistic free for all. That's not true. It's a job. That's probably what mom needs to know. If she loves you, & I'm pretty sure she does, she will understand your reasons for dancing.
    I'm gonna step off my soapbox now.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    You know, I kept the lie going for a little while w/ my mom, but finally I came clean. She was more pissed about me lying to her than she was about the dancing. I would rather tell my mom the truth and live with her knowing whatever it is, than lie to her. No one is going to understand and love me unconditionally like my mama. There is nothing like having your mama in your corner.
    I know not everyone has the same relationship- but if there is even the slightest chance she might accept it and keep loving, and cheering for you anyway, I would come clean.

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    Veteran Member DeeJayOz's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    Quote Originally Posted by avacheetahs
    No one is going to understand and love me unconditionally like my mama.
    ...well said.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #10
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    You're 22? It's time to move out.

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    Featured Member mina loy's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten
    You're 22? It's time to move out.
    no. i'm saving up money while i'm in grad school. after grad school i'm out. for good.

  12. #12
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    Maybe this article about the "budweiser girls" will help. Just about all beverage brands use this kind of promotion today to advertize.

    http://www.salon.com/it/feature/1999...01feature.html


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  13. #13
    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    The beverage promoter girls do look a lot like strippers when they are dressed up and ready to promote.
    Yea they do! I use to be one in Guam. I would come home smelling like smoke. I never wore stripper cloths but I did wear very sexy cloths and short dresses.
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    If you're 22 I would move out or fess up.

    Are you really willing to do harm to your relationship with your mother over some "saved money". Money doesn't really get you anywhere that exciting...

    PS - You can get loans at grad school to pay for rent. No offense, but how much do you need money or how cheap are you that while dancing you have to live with mom

    I really think you should be paying your mommy fat rent for keeping you so long so you can save money. Don't you think she'd like to save some money too.

  15. #15
    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    haha i use the promotions for resturants and nightclubs. not to my mom but "straight" people. my "territory" is north fl. where i travel out of town to work. it really works and explains why im out of town alot

  16. #16
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    I'd check out craig's list for shared housing. I know its high as hell to live in the city but, at least if you went the roommate route you'd have privacy without having to shellout tons of cash. You can only lie for so long.
    My new love...is me !

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    Featured Member mina loy's Avatar
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    Default Re: she suspects something

    eh. i'll probably just do the waitress idea.

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