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Thread: Fart!!!

  1. #1
    Veteran Member absolutbliss's Avatar
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    Default Fart!!!

    Bawhahahahahwahha! I hope this is the right place to put this so, ....


    Yesterday at work I was dealing with this really arrogant, over-the-top touchy/feely as-hole....

    He actually wanted a few dances. Ok, at least I'll make some cash for putting up with this guy...


    So for whatever reason, I had REALLY bad gas! They type you can't hold back, etc. I figured, eh, the music is loud enough, what the hell! It was great. I probably farted on this guy three times. Not loud so he could hear, but enough to where I could tell what was going on.

    I honestly feel bad for his pants! *hehe, go ahead, try grabbing my boob again *ph-ffffffff-----bbbtt!**

    hahhhaahhhha! sorry i had to tell!

  2. #2
    God/dess kryssy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    That's too funny!

    One girl I worked with used to be able to fart on command. If a guy was being a total jerk to one of the girls she would walk by and fart right next to his head! LMAO

  3. #3
    Veteran Member Alexis81's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    Strippers don't have gas!
    We have Gas-x (seriously it works really well) I too have had the unfortuniate experience of letting one rip before
    Alexis



  4. #4
    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    Serves him right!! Good for you.

  5. #5
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    I've done that.... and I've also done it on stage when girls I hate are up after me. Muhahahaa!!
    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
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    Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    hahah man you guys...i would have never thought. I hope a dancer doesnt do that to me,

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    That's hilarious! Maybe the guy will think twice about being so grabby next time! When you said you felt bad about his pants, why, did something else come out too? hehehe!!!!

  8. #8
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    LMAO! I have farted on assholes before too They deserve it
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  9. #9
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    I've farted all over the club. No one is the wiser.
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......http://www.ebay.com/sch/adriannasgoo...1&_ipg=&_from=

  10. #10
    God/dess Mare's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    Best one was I had a custie fart while I was dancing 4 him. Ewww.

  11. #11
    Senior Member hazeljames's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    i always fart around asshole customers... right before i walk away. stupid jerks deserve it

  12. #12
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    When guys used to ask me what the rules were, this was the usual dialogue...

    Customer: "What happens if I touch your pussy?"
    Me: "I slap you in the face."
    Customer: "What happens if I touch your breasts?"
    Me: "I slap you in the face"
    Customer: "I guess if I touch your ass, you'll slap me in the face"
    Me: "No, I'll fart on your hand first"

  13. #13
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings
    When guys used to ask me what the rules were, this was the usual dialogue...

    Customer: "What happens if I touch your pussy?"
    Me: "I slap you in the face."
    Customer: "What happens if I touch your breasts?"
    Me: "I slap you in the face"
    Customer: "I guess if I touch your ass, you'll slap me in the face"
    Me: "No, I'll fart on your hand first"
    Oh GOD I love you!!!!

  14. #14
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    One time the club was full of guys sitting at the tiprail, not tipping and not buying dances. The DJ did a two-for-one, but they weren't buying that either. After I went around the room and no one wanted a twofer, I took the long way back to the dressing room and crop-dusted the whole row. Heh.

  15. #15
    God/dess JustJayda's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    That's awesome, as long as you don't mistake a fart for a shart! remember "somethin'" on Flavor of love!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    Oh, and nope, rubbing titties isn't air dancing.
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    The cut-off age for stripping is when customers stop paying you.

    The end.

  16. #16
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    Thats effing hilarious.

  17. #17
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    Bwahahaha we don't have lapdances here, but I've been known to go over where guys are sitting on the tiprail and fart when they're being assholes. My fav is a girl I work with though, she walks over to where the guys are, farts, and then goes to the other side of the stage for a minute and dances...then comes back and exclaims loudly "OMG what is that SMELL???"

    Priceless lol.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  18. #18
    Tart
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    hahaa

    wait.

    hahahahahha

    yah I think we've all done it I think its our only get back that isn't voilent. unless we've eaten taco bell recently.

    I was once in the VIP room with this customer dancing ( not at the club im at now ) and my friend and i had both drank so many redbulls our stomachs were just fucked up. So we were dancing and I bunny fluffed but it was rank so I just shoved my boobs in the guys face till my friend motioned that "its all clear" and i let him up for air.

  19. #19
    Veteran Member dancinslifoxxx17's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    Yep. I'm guilty. I fart on stage and off stage. I once had a guy offer me $200 to fart on him. Of course I didn't have to then. Bummer...
    It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird

    Blessed Be

  20. #20
    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    But the worst is when you're fully nude on stage, bent over, and some custy actually lets out a rank one, and it looks like you did it! I honestly don't think I've ever farted on or around a customer. The sound wouldn't matter, but I don't want to be thought of for having rank guts!
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

  21. #21
    Newbie BLOWN's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    omg..too funny!!..lol!!

  22. #22
    Senior Member naughtyallthetime's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    This is great stuff!! let me add one

    know a chick farted in a nude club bent over, right in this guys face. that got her a couple hundered dollars, and more money if she did it again. it was a bummer that she was all done then.
    All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke


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  23. #23
    Featured Member X Evan X's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    Yenk got it! haha we have been calling that crop-dusting at our clubs forever now. I seriously wish I could fart more and the only thing funnier than walking past tables with heads at "ass" level is that you guys get to do it right in their laps. I'm jealous


    I do remember the story that the housemom Babs @ Cheetah tells tho, you have to be careful ladies. When she was Mom at Gold Club a girl was dancing on top of a table full of guys when she accidentally dropped a milk-dud right in the middle of the table. She told Babs (between tears and sobs) that she thought she only had to fart, she was seriously distraught over it poor thing


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  24. #24
    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    Thats just too funny!!

  25. #25
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fart!!!

    LMAO!!!! omg...i wonder who it was...i work at oasis and know alot of girls who used to work at cheetah LMAO i swear i would have to dance in a whole other state! id absolutely die!!!

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