2008 Republican National Convention, Agenda
7:00 pm - Accuse Five Star Generals of Being Cowards and Traitors
7:15 pm - Introduce 1 point plan for Winning Iraq - "Stay the course until it becomes the Democrats' Problem"
7:16 pm - Go Over Election Stategy: Distancing yourself from President Bush
8:00 pm - Key Foreign Policy Speech by Bobo, the Dean of Liberal Arts at Tri-County Community College
8:15 pm - Speech by Sen. George Allen, "How to Explain Away use of Racial Epithets"
8:45 pm - Newt Gingrich avoids his first, second and third wives looking for alimony payments.
9:15 pm - Dennis Hastert's Speech on the Information Age titled "We Aren't Prepared to Govern in a Complicated World that has Instant Messaging"
9:20 pm - Coffee Chat for Wives of Republican Leaders
9:20 pm - Republican Leaders have gay sex in the coat closet with their male pages
10:20 pm - Dick Cheney Speech on the Responsible Use of Firearms
10:25 pm - Osama Bin Laden gives a speech and takes Air Force One back to his cave without getting caught
10:45 - Alan Greenspan Awards the George W. Bush Award for Scholarship in Fiscal Responsibility. The winner can't make it because he is in Atlantic City. Accepting the reward will be that guy who pissed away his $10 million lotto winnings and who now lives in a cardboard box outside the convention center.
11:00 pm - Unveiling Re-designed American flag which has George W. Bush's head in the place of the stars.
11:15 - Chanting "Heil"
11:45 - Speech by Dick Cheney titled, "How to make money on the Iraq war"
12:00 pm - Closing Prayer by the Reverend Pat Robertson
12:05 pm - Hit the Strip Clubs




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