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Thread: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

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    Default What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    I'm 34 and just now started going to this one club about 4 months ago. Nothing too special.
    Then about 9 weeks ago I met this girl who is amazing, she's the best IMO. She doesn't just go and take her clothes off on stage she puts on a real good show.
    I thought this girl would never give me the time of day.
    That is until we bumped into eachother and later ended up in the champagne (VIP) room for an hour. This is a full nude, full contact club. Everything can, does and a few weeks later did happen in the vip room. First time we did a lot but I said I want to hold her and talk (I just got out of a 6 year relationship and my parents health etc.(which we didn't talk about any of that). It was like we met in a normal place and were on the couch at home. When time was coming up she gave me her number and I got hers. She said she really liked how we just hit it off so well and she would like to get to know each other better outside the club.

    So I call her and she never answers, I always leave a message and she never gets back to me.

    I did get her once and we met up, did a two hour vip and hung out in the club the rest of the night. She did have to work, so I watched her and wondered if this turned into anything serious if I could handle this type of thing. I think I can because I really respect anyone who's good at what they do. She seems to make way more money than most of the other girls. She doesn't look to see if I'm looking (and I'm not stalking her) but she doesn't do the things with other guys that she does with me. Like once when I left the club we made out right in front of the management and I left. No one does that in the open.

    Then I caught her on the phone again and we set up a "date" on a slow day at the club. She says she has to work so we had to do some dances. We did some four song dances ($100) and management keeps track of that. She charged me half and paid the other half with the money she already cashed out. Then she started buying me drinks. I got club hats, shirts, etc. All free. I even sat by the stage once and after her dance she let me pick up all her money and sort it out, she even left and came back while I did this. She trusted me with all her money.

    Now I'm nothing special, I don't think my mentality is typical compared to most customers in a strip club. I think I wear the same pants about every time I go there and some shirts you can get at wal mart, no jewelry, nothing. And yet she brags to her friends in the club and wants them to meet me. She is amazing I watch her walk through the club, everyone looks at her, at least more than they look at other girls. And it's known I'm there for her because when I am approached for a dance by other girls I say I'm here for her, and they walk away quick.

    Yet the problem remains, she never calls me or messages me back. She lives about 1 1/2 hours away and the club is about the halfway point.
    Oh And I've spent close to $4500 on her in the past 8 weeks and thats not easy for me. I don't regret one bit of it, it was worth every penny to me.
    And it was made clear that anything outside the club is not paid for.

    I know I'm probably a real dumbass. can someone take a guess on whats going on here?

    I'm fine with a "that was good lets do this again" when we come out of the vip. I'd keep coming back. But the promise of being friends outside the club and her not keeping up on her end of that deal makes me a bit mad. Why does she say this?
    In fact I went there last night and spent some quality time with her, she wanted to do a vip room and I said no to see how it'd go after that if I had said yes, she wouldn't have had to work the club the rest of the night but she ended up having to.
    It went ok I sat, drank, watched tv, she came to see me, but at the end of the night she left without saying goodbye. She told me she was going to cash out and leave and to wait for her, but I asked a girl I sort of know if she was still there and this girl said she left already.
    I think I'm done with her after this unless she calls me with good reason.
    I'm an idiot I know. I don't usually obsess over people like this but when I see her coming to me, everyone in the club disappears and its just me and her...damn.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    AHHHHHHHHH! Not again!

    Okay, so you spent thousands on her and she tells you things she doesn't mean and you don't know why she does that?

    this is my favorite part....

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay2006
    I thought this girl would never give me the time of day.
    That is until we bumped into eachother and later ended up in the champagne (VIP) room for an hour.
    you realize the purpose of strip clubs, right?

    actually, I lied....this is my favorite part:
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay2006
    Then she started buying me drinks. I got club hats, shirts, etc. All free.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    It would be my guess that she said she'd see you outside the club to keep you coming back for more. If you are okay with it just being a club relationship, and enjoying her time there, then tell her so, and hopefully you two can still have fun with it.

    I wouldn't read too much into her leaving without saying goodbye, except that maybe she feels uncomfortable now because she knows she made a promise to you that she doesn't intend to keep.

    So, if you want to keep seeing her in the club, tell her...and she will probably relax and have even more fun with you knowing there is no pressure, and who knows...maybe with time.....

    Good Luck.

    p.s. she also may have gotten a little pissy when you declined VIP after having done this with her before, many girls like a sure thing, and she may have been put off by that.




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    Glamazon
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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    If she was interested in being friends OTC, unpaid, it would have happened right after you first met her. Or she would have at least returned your phone calls or messages...sheesh...she's a stripper, she's into you for your money and nothing else. Sorry.

  5. #5
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer
    and who knows...maybe with time.....
    That's such a stripper line...giving false hope!

    LOL

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    *WINK* Yah huh!




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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    Dude... dude... dude...

    Lined up a DATE at a slow night at the club, eh?

    Why does she say things to keep you on the hook? Cuz she's a fucking liar that's why. At least find a dancer who is willing to say "This is fantasy baby so don't get to emotionally invested."

    Have a little more dignity for the rest of us men would you?

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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    yea first thing I read here was the post about the worst things customers can do or something like that. If I remember correctly being cheap was one of them. Well don't be a hypocrite, I paid the girl well. I tip the waitress about 35% and I'm not rich. I SUPPORT YOUR LINE OF WORK get it? Now today thats wrong?

    I was getting very depressed about my break up and my parents health. What would a normal person do, probably seek counseling and a few thousand later I'd be just as depressed. Well this girl pulled me out of it in a day (and I went back for more). I still have the option of being with her.
    I guess the problem is when I asked her if I'm taking 'us' too seriously (she said she was too buzzed to answer) and refusing the vip.
    I kind of figured the answer would be to talk to her about keeping it in the club.
    I didn't expect to be put down for supporting you people.

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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    What you are going through is the same thing that thousands of custys go through. It can be confusing to someone who is not savy to the strip club world. The way she treated you, the way she made you feel special, that is what you are paying for! When you stop paying for that treatment, you'll stop getting it. This is why she blew you off when you refused the last VIP. If you want her to make you feel special again, then you are going to have to rent that treatment in the VIP room. The extra time she spent on you for "free," was just a part of closing the sale.
    There is nothing bad about hitting the strip club for that special attention from a beautiful woman, but you need to realize that it's not real. She's just doing her job.

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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    Oh jeebus frickin Christ?

    First of you, you aren't supporting any of us, you are supporting her.

    No one is insulting you. Oh wait, never mind, I am insulting you.

    In some of these posts, there might be a tiny cold-day-in-hell chance that the stripper might be a bit interested in the guy. NOT HERE! You have no chance man. If finances are tight for you,then stop spending so much on her. We don't want you to spend your life savings on this lady, and go bankrupt if your parents need serious help soon........

    If you like her, keep going to the club and spending money. She has you right where she wants you. In fact, she sounds like my kinda girl! (Although less so with the leading on and all the extras..... )

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    First of you, you aren't supporting any of us, you are supporting her
    Maybe not the right wording but I'm not on here shit talking strippers. Yes I'm a little mad, but it will pass. I wouldn't wish anything bad on this girl even if she fucked me over, I'm not like that. And she didn't anyway. And I never said I'm going broke. It's not on the top of my list of how to spend my money on a regular basis.
    And I know she's just doing her job. I said she does her job well.
    I was really just trying to figure out what the hells going on since she doesn't have the guts to tell me shes full of shit.
    And BTW I've know guys who've dated strippers for a long time, my best friend for one. I was the only one in his group of friends that actually liked her. But they didn't meet in a club. And I know a guy who's been with a stripper for I'm guessing it's got to be going on 10 years now, not sure how they met.

    I guess I just don't have a negative shit outlook on life, and somewhere in my being I believe you can find someone you like ANYWHERE.

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    You can't.

    A strip club is a loosing proposition no matter which way you try to cut it and for everybody (dancer and customer) involved.

    In the girl's eyes you are either a chump because you need to buy a date or an asshole who no one else will have.

    Everything is predicated on lies right down to who's name is what and who is doing the persuing for what reason. If a girl approaches you in a social club, you are doing OK - if in a strip club - assume them no better than used car salesmen.

    It is very very very difficult to get over the hurdle of meeting and falling in love in a strip club.

    Don't let those chemical messengers flying off in your head when you see a pair of titties get you off track - especially when you are in a vulnerable state of mind like right now.

    The rest of us can do without another bitter hater and you can do without the cancer in your soul.

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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    The only time I've seen guys date strippers EVER IN MY LIFE is when they met the girl before knowing she was a stripper.


    Look like a woman
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    Act like a lady
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    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    You tell us you spent almost 5K on this girl and then you wonder why she is feeding you a line of shit and basically telling you whatever to keep you coming back in. lol. Also, when you wrote that she doesn't call you back or answer your text messages, that should clue you in.
    Last edited by FBR; 10-14-2006 at 07:28 PM.

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    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    Have you thought about trying to find a two- headed psychiatrist in your area??....sounds like both of yours need help.

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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    Well, at least it sounds like you had a good time for your $4500.

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    Veteran Member Vegas_dancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    I was really just trying to figure out what the hells going on since she doesn't have the guts to tell me shes full of shit.
    Why would she tell you? Your income. If she tells you shes full of shit, you wont come back, and it will hurt her income. Therefore, she will tell you anything you want to hear.

    If you have such a good time with her, and shes made you feel so much better, then whats it matter? Just keep going into the club and enjoy your time there, where she makes you feel like a million bucks.

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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay2006
    Maybe not the right wording but I'm not on here shit talking strippers.
    Well good. We appreciate. However, if you do a cursory read you will see why we have the right - nay, even an obligation - to make fun of you a little.

    And I know she's just doing her job. I said she does her job well.
    I was really just trying to figure out what the hells going on since she doesn't have the guts to tell me shes full of shit.
    Okay. You OBVIOUSLY don't think she's just doing her job. You OBVIOUSLY think you are special or you wouldn't be here asking "am I REALLY special? Why doesn't she return my calls? Would she REALLY buy me a drink if she didn't really, truly like me? Surely she would not have made out with me in front of the manager if I wasn't her boyfriend... right?" As for guts - guts are not what she is missing. She is not afraid of telling you the truth - or she is afraid in a purely pecuniary way. She does this because she thought it was the best way to keep you as a customer; you get to decide if that is right or wrong.

    And BTW I've know guys who've dated strippers for a long time, my best friend for one. I was the only one in his group of friends that actually liked her. But they didn't meet in a club. And I know a guy who's been with a stripper for I'm guessing it's got to be going on 10 years now, not sure how they met.
    Ooh, really? Then you have an in. If you know guys who have dated strippers. Dude, we ARE strippers. We know exactly how not-impressive that is. We also know that the vast majority of the time, if you are spending money in a strip club, you are a customer and all the "trimmings" are just customer relations.

    I guess I just don't have a negative shit outlook on life, and somewhere in my being I believe you can find someone you like ANYWHERE.
    Okay, then. Great. You keep that negative outlook the next time you go into that club. There is a line between "positive outlook" and "pure asshattery" you know. You don't have to do one to do the other. The problem isn't in our outlook here.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay2006
    I think I'm done with her after this unless she calls me with good reason. I'm an idiot I know. I don't usually obsess over people like this but when I see her coming to me, everyone in the club disappears and its just me and her...damn.
    You're not an idiot. You just don't know the rules of the game. Plus, you're vulnerable from a recent breakup and trouble with the parents.

    The reason many of the comments in this thread seem harsh is the posters know the game well, and they are seeing a perfect pattern unfold before their eyes. I understand that you can't see it, and I can imagine that it's frustrating.

    Here's what everybody else is seeing, and you are not:

    1. She's not going to call you back. With or without reason.

    2. If she were really interested in you personally, she would have returned every call, met with you OTC at the first opportunity and cooked you breakfast.

    3. The reason for your connection to her in the club is that she's very good at her job. Her job is to create that sense of connection. That is what you are paying for. If holding out the prospect of OTC meetings makes that connection stronger, then that's fair play in my book. I do not consider anything said in the club to encourage the bond to be a "lie." Different rules apply in strip clubs. It's the real world inverted.

    4. You will eventually learn that her talk about seeing you OTC is crafty SS, which stands for "stripper shit," a term more endearing than it sounds -- it's the cloth some dancers use to weave a world that makes you feel like you are not only the only guy in the club for them, but the only guy in the world. This is their job. It's why you feel so good when you are around her.

    5. SCs can be pretty dangerous places when you are emotionally vulnerable and haven't quite yet learned the rules. To put this in perspective, and make you feel a little better, SCs can be pretty dangerous places to guys who've known the rules for years, are surprised by nothing at all and have even dated dancers. The truth is that any guy can be PL'd at any time. If this can happen to even the most experienced customer, you have nothing to feel ashamed about.

    6. You need to let go of the notion that this girl is interested in you personally. Please. Right now, it may be helpful for you to think of the club as a movie set where she plays a role in a movie where her job is to adore you, and you, as the other actor, get to feel appreciated and special. Just don't think the acting is real. At the end of the night, both of you leave the set and go in different directions. This is why she's not returning your phone calls. You are hanging on to what happens on the stage and she's not. Just keep in mind that the stage is fiction.

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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    If you know guys who have dated strippers. Dude, we ARE strippers. We know exactly how not-impressive that is.
    I don't understand that comment. I'm talking about regular girlfriends and one day you find out she works at xxxxx club. And they knew it from day one. My point is I don't think it's impossible to date a stripper, although I don't know how they met I know one was not a customer in the club. And I don't have an in, no idea what you're thinking here.

    You keep that negative outlook the next time you go into that club
    You need to re-read my comment there it says I DON'T have a negative outlook on things.
    Meaning I don't go in the clubs looking at every girl like they're money hungry whores.
    You know I go there and only give my money to her meaning I don't take dances from other girls, I hang out a lot while shes working. On more than one occasion I've been next to some asshole who starts talking to me about how all the girls are just a bunch of xxxxx or what ever. I don't like that, and just walk away.

    I don't care what kind of negativity you guys shoot at me. I did have fun, if I could do it all over again I would.

    In fact I'm not that much of an idiot as I may seem. I remember we were in the vip room the first time and I said I want to just lay there and relax. (good for her I know, she gets to lay there and make money) she said she liked it and I seem like the type of guy she could hang out with (BS I know) but thats where it started. My response to that was, and I told her, I'll believe it when I see you outside the club. I just remembered that, not sure when I lost that mentality, slipped into fantasy land and got stuck there. I guess I'm out though.
    I'll still go back there and see her again I don't care.
    Thanks to all of you here for your comments.

  21. #21
    Veteran Member Docido's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay2006
    I don't understand that comment. I'm talking about regular girlfriends and one day you find out she works at xxxxx club. And they knew it from day one. My point is I don't think it's impossible to date a stripper, although I don't know how they met I know one was not a customer in the club. And I don't have an in, no idea what you're thinking here.
    In this situation it is impossible. She sees you as a source of income - nothing more and nothing less.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay2006
    In fact I'm not that much of an idiot as I may seem. I remember we were in the vip room the first time and I said I want to just lay there and relax. (good for her I know, she gets to lay there and make money) she said she liked it and I seem like the type of guy she could hang out with (BS I know) but thats where it started. My response to that was, and I told her, I'll believe it when I see you outside the club. I just remembered that, not sure when I lost that mentality, slipped into fantasy land and got stuck there. I guess I'm out though.
    I'll still go back there and see her again I don't care.
    Thanks to all of you here for your comments.
    The light bulb switches on!!! Always remember that it's a play and you’re one of the actors. Anything said or done in the club is a performance for which you pay.
    It sounds like you learned your lesson. Now either take a break or go and enjoy the clubs for what they are.
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    Member cristo58's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    Jay2006, Dude take the hook out of your mouth, admit it you got hooked and hooked good by an expert at her profession and at making money at her JOB. SC's are not catch and release environments..............oh yeah, been there............

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    At least you only paid $4,500 for tuition to that school of hard knocks! I've read of some people who went out and got loans and shit! Some thread of some dude who would call some chick up - does anyone remember that one?

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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    if this girl wanted to see you outside of the club and date you, she wouldn't keep asking you to spend money on her inside the club. i met my BF in a strip club, but i never viewed him as a "business" conquest. we exchanged phone numbers, and set up a date to hang out. he never came back into the club too see me work (and i quit soon after that when my civilian job started).

    anyhow, while some dancers do meet bf's in strip clubs, in these cases, the customer/dancer relationship has to change. the girl must view you in a different light. and in your case, it sounds like this girl still views you as a customer.

    my advice, let her go, and move on.
    "Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days."

    ~Che Guevara, "The Motorcycle Diaries"

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    Default Re: What is this girl doing with me, long 1st post

    Which base did you get to?

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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