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Thread: Are you scared of getting old??

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    Default Are you scared of getting old??

    My youth went by in a flash.
    When I turned 25, I became obsessed with getting old. Buying anti aging creams and setting up a cosmetic surgery fund for the future. I mean I was obsessed To the point that I think I should have sought professional help. My lil sis who is barely legal doesn't understand, she's quick to say "You are NOT old, 70 is old. WHen you get that age, holla at me!!" Now I'm almost 30, and I feel like as I often say it "expired milk". When I search the dating profiles on line I can't help but to notice that a large number of men in my age range are seeking women 18-25, which only makes me feel worse. Even Guys approaching 40, are seeking 18-29 and soon I'll be out of that loop... Which brings up another question?? Why do guys always think they "deserve" a younger woman, but women get dirty looks if they try to date younger???

    Anyhow, My friend tells me that it is harder on attractive women to age than average looking women. Meaning even though all of us will eventually loose our figures and get wrinkles, the pretty women have much more to lose. Pretty women are use to all the attention the added perks from being young and cute... As my mom always says, when she was young and got a flat tire, men would come out of the wood works trying to help her. Now at 50 something, she gets a flat tire and maybe some nice guy might help her or she'll have to call my dad and just wait till he gets there to help. When you are young and pretty things are handed to you.... I know it says alot about me that I think all I have to offer the world is a cute face and booty...but how can I not think this way when I've been bombarded with these images and theories since I was a kid.

    I know the only other option is death.....And at my age, how do I build some self-esteem I really need to let go of the idea that I am my "beauty and Youth" and that's all I have to offer??

    I think this is another reason why I gave up on dancing...I was starting to feel old....But truth is I miss it, even though I wasn't making tons of money. I enjoyed meeting new people and getting a daily work out more than the money. Maybe it's not to late for me to get into it again. I just want to dance 2 more years for grad school.

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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    I think you're putting too much emphasis on looks. By now you should realize that true sexiness is not about how pretty you are, but how healthy you are. Physically and emotionally. Confidence=sexy.

    You say you need to dance for grad school? Way to go! Intelligence and education is sexy!

    I'm sure you've seen women whom you don't consider to be particularly attractive or conventionally pretty, making bank. Extras girls aside, these women usually have a confidence about them that makes them appealing. Could be the way they move, smile or talk.

    If you asked custies why they love their ATF, you'll probably hear a reason that has nothing to do with being pretty. It's about attitude.

    Now you're younger than 35, but I think you might get some useful information from this thread:



    Get out there, take care of your body(skin especially), and make some money. You won't have anything to worry about.

    As for dating younger guys, I'm 40 and my man is 31. So phooey to anyone who has a problem with that.

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    I'm actually the oppposite! I can't wait to hit my 30s and I'm only going 28 at the end of this month (October)... I see my 30s as a great time... hopefully a more stable time than my 20s and then my 40s as also another great time as I will still be young (to me at the very least).

    As for looks... yeh.. well.. I won't always be in the sex industry so I won't have to worry too much especially if all my investments in my 30s pay off so when I am 40 I can really enjoy life.

    So .. no.. I am not scared of age-ing. It isn't something you can avoid. It is part of nature and life -- birth, growth, death and re-birth. Why be scared of something so natural? I don't see the point on wasting energy, time and money on something that you can't stop happening.


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    Veteran Member Jo Weldon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    Well, yeah, the physical problems and the fact that you're moving closer to death are kind of scarey, I'd be a most unusual person to not to be scared of that. Having had my metabolism change is an annoyance.

    I'm in my mid forties and I lost that "babe" thing some time ago (not that I don't think I'm hot, but I'm not hot to assholes like Howard Stern's interns, who I don't want to like me anyway), and frankly, it hasn't been much of a loss. My favorite thing is that guys quit hooting at me on the street so much. Everybody said I'd miss it when it stopped, but I don't, I love being able to go to the corner store to get a quart of milk without having to endure a gauntlet.

    I DON'T find it reassuring when someone says "You look great for your age," although I appreciate the compliment, because looking great for any age is temporary. I do feel confident that I look good for my age.

    But, I've spent a lot of time with some middle-aged and elderly ladies who were strippers in the 1940s, 50s, and 60s, and seeing them have fun and love life and be fierce rid me of a lot of my fear that being old in and of itself sucks.

    I am the happiest I've ever been, and the most comfortable in my skin I've ever felt, and people I'm attracted to still hit on me.
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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    Well said DylanAngel. Yes, i agree that beauty has everything to do with how healthy one is.
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

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    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    I used to feel this way & what cured it was finally meeting all my aunts in Mexico whose lives had been 20 times harder than mine (no kidding) and they were happy & valued by their families even if they hadn't had the resources to keep youthful skin or girlish figures. There are far more important things in life than looking 21 for as long as possible. In America, the culture is viciously age-ist. It happens to men too- after a certain age, society wants to shove people out of the way.

    BUT why live by the dictates of a stupid shallow culture?
    PS With proper diet, exercise and skin care, people can look much younger than their age. The other problem in America is a literally toxic culture- bad processed food, vices as recreation, and sedentary lifestyles. Avoid those and you won't age badly.

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    I agree with MM about a toxic culture.

    Most of "looking old" is being fat and creaking along on bones that were bruised by carrying fat for so long. I have seen 50+ women with bodies of iron on the running path and I am sure you have seen that too.

    Also a lot of people stop caring about how they look - I was surprised one day by how good looking an older woman looked with long flowing white hair. Most older women get "the perm" and are done with it.

    I can say from my perspective why my personal mentions women from 25 to 35 is those are the baby making years. If I want a family, those are the girls I am gonna have to find unless some technology gets involved.

    The truth about age is - the older you get - the fewer options life has available for you and the harsher the mistakes are.

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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    [QUOTE=KitKatDC]My youth went by in a flash.
    When I search the dating profiles on line I can't help but to notice that a large number of men in my age range are seeking women 18-25, which only makes me feel worse. Even Guys approaching 40, are seeking 18-29 and soon I'll be out of that loop... Which brings up another question?? Why do guys always think they "deserve" a younger woman, but women get dirty looks if they try to date younger???

    Yes it's true (most)men are attracted to younger women. The fact is... They can't help it!
    They are genetically programed to do so- It's Evolution!
    Why do men go to stripclubs? To see young beautiful women-
    During the evolutionary process, men needed to seek youth and beauty in order to have healthy children. In modern day that still holds true, the older you are, the more possible complications a women may have when during pregnancy and may have sick children who wouldnt be able to help cultivate the land or hunt for the family meals. Whether a man wants children or not, they are programed to be attracted to youth and beauty. They can't help it!

    The same holds true for (most) women. In ancient days women sought a man who can protect them and provide for their family. Either the strongest hunter or the village leader-
    In modern day, that translates to Power or Money. Not saying that all women go for money. Just saying that power and money have taken the place of the master hunter or the strongest man in the tribe.
    There is a natural attraction for a women to have toward a guy with power and money because its in their genetic make-up to want to have security and stability at home.

    It's not shallow for a guy to want a young attractive girl nor is it shallow for a women to want a guy with money or power- It's evolution!

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    You guys are starting to depress me.

    My 37th b-day is next month, and I don't feel old, and I know many women in their 20's that look older than me. I got a boob job in 2004 because gravity was taking it's toll and I just wanted to be a DD bra.

    I know I'm not a spring chicken anymore, but I am moving into the eccentric phase of my life. My hair is Purple and white and I dress pretty wildly, too. I became a construction contractor and am building my first spec house right now. I do have a plastic surgery savings account, too. Up next...Lipo!! I have an appointment to see my PS on November 17th as a matter of fact.

    I revel in my advancing age in the industry. I have a granny costume that I wear for feature shows, including saggy boobs and big jiggly butt. Young customers are all about the MILF and older customers are happy that they can buy dances with girls who aren't young enough to be their daughter (or granddaughter). I have to wear stockings or body makeup as my legs aren't as pretty as they used to be, but I'm okay with that. Lazer skin resurfacing is in the very near future, as well.

    In about 3-4 years I plan on buying my own strip club. I'll only be 40-41 and have many many years of experiance working not only in strip clubs, but I've had experiance running a construction business, working in restaurants and bars, managing restaurants and retail stores, and putting together feature shows, and recuiting dancers to work for a private dancing company.

    As we get older, it is our experiance that is valuable, not our looks. It is also totally possible to be stunningly beautiful at any age.

    I see my approching 40's as my next "life". Childhood is one life, 16-40 is another life, 40-60 yet another way to live differently. Each "life" has it's rewards and it's challenges. I plan on leaving a totally worn out and freakish looking corpse! And who knows if there is an afterlife? I don't plan on finding out for quite sometime. Maybe I can be the world's oldest stripper at 100? That sounds like gobs of fun.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    I'm almost 30 too and I've been kind of thinking the same thoughts.

    The only thing I'm "worried" about is my ability to make children. (I haven't even come close to finding the right guy yet and even when I do, I want to spend time with him one-on-one before having babies.)

    But I feel good and think I look the best I have in my life, so I'm okay with my age overall. I'm actually looking forward to saying I'm 30. I feel it has an air of sophistication about it.

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    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    I believe each decade brings something different. Aging is inevitable, it's all how you deal with it.

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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    Quote Originally Posted by smush33
    Yes it's true (most)men are attracted to younger women. The fact is... They can't help it!
    They are genetically programed to do so- It's Evolution!
    Why do men go to stripclubs? To see young beautiful women-
    During the evolutionary process, men needed to seek youth and beauty in order to have healthy children. In modern day that still holds true, the older you are, the more possible complications a women may have when during pregnancy and may have sick children who wouldnt be able to help cultivate the land or hunt for the family meals. Whether a man wants children or not, they are programed to be attracted to youth and beauty. They can't help it!

    The same holds true for (most) women. In ancient days women sought a man who can protect them and provide for their family. Either the strongest hunter or the village leader-
    In modern day, that translates to Power or Money. Not saying that all women go for money. Just saying that power and money have taken the place of the master hunter or the strongest man in the tribe.
    There is a natural attraction for a women to have toward a guy with power and money because its in their genetic make-up to want to have security and stability at home.

    It's not shallow for a guy to want a young attractive girl nor is it shallow for a women to want a guy with money or power- It's evolution!
    You're full of shit. It isn't genetic programing, it is social conditioning. I know a some successful older women who seek out a hot young stud and support him finacially or offer higher social status (Demi Moore, Maddona anyone?).

    Just like scientists of years past thought that men were non-monogmous by nature and women were monogmous by nature (or genetic programing, if you prefer), this is simply not true. Once you take away the social punishments of women who are sexually promiscious, women tend to have just as much of a tendancy to "cheat" as men do. In years past the social implications of a "cheating wife" were of such a severe nature that women were just not willing to take the risk of ostrization and the possibility being cut off from any kind of financial security, too. A cheating housewife of the 50's was likely to not only lose her husband, but everyone in her circle of friends, her entire community would likely turn against her, her children would be taken from her.

    Of course, the man with whom she had the affair would be the victum of being seduced by a slut. His marriage would likely stay in tact and his buddies would rally around him as the "Stud du jour".

    So just throw your "genetic programing" out the window as an excuse for being shallow and entitled, please.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    Paris... Very Hostile!!
    Do you not believe in evolution because of religious reasons? Just trying to figure it out.
    However we are attracted to youth and beauty and it is in our genetic make up to do so.
    If we weren't, then every stripper would be 40 years old !

    You are correct when you speak of social programming when it comes to cheating.. However, I was only speaking on ATTRACTION.

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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    I know a some successful older women who seek out a hot young stud and support him finacially or offer higher social status (Demi Moore, Maddona anyone?).

    Ummm... Is Ashton Kutcher not Rich and Powerful???????

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    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    I thought Guy Ritchie was the same age as Madge?

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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    Yes he is close to her age......
    I don't think my theory is wrong....Anyone else agree of disagree? I want to know your thoughts

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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    I've been on the online dating site, and I don't see it. The guys profiles I've seen are interested in women around their age. Some guys are just really shooting for anything, so they write "Looking for ages 18-80" or something ridiculous.

    I'll be 30 in Feb and I'm looking forward to it. Men in the real world aren't all after pursuit of 19 year old ass. BUT...working in stripping for many years, and seeing how many old lechers idolized underage looking dancers, I can see how that attitude might have imprinted itself.

    Just remember....those old guys looking for very young girls, they don't want anything genuine. They want a fantasy, or to be reminded of their lost youth.

    I dunno....I neer really considered myself that "pretty woman" so perhaps I don't have that much to lose. If I go out dressed down, in baggy sweats and no makeup, I seldomly get much attention. If you are getting hollered at in the streets when you REALLY don't want to, well either you're a beauty queen and we don't relate, or you're surrounded by macho assholes, lol!

    However, I am an attention whore and will be saddened upon the day when that ends.

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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    Quote Originally Posted by smush33
    Yes he is close to her age......
    I don't think my theory is wrong....Anyone else agree of disagree? I want to know your thoughts
    Your theory is really primitive. We all understand the biological basis. There is more to it.....

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    I agree with what you have to say.
    However im not talking about 50 year old men trying to pick up a 19 year old girls to have sex with them. I am talking about why they are Attracted to them in the first place- And the answer is in our evolutionary make up.
    Yes, No?

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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    Quote Originally Posted by Jo Weldon
    I DON'T find it reassuring when someone says "You look great for your age," although I appreciate the compliment, because looking great for any age is temporary. I do feel confident that I look good for my age.
    Several weeks ago I had a meeting with a staff member on campus that entailed me divulging my birthdate. She said I was VERY WELL PRESERVED. WELL PRESERVED??? WTF??? What am I supposed to say to that? "Gee, um, thanks?"


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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveSexMoney
    Several weeks ago I had a meeting with a staff member on campus that entailed me divulging my birthdate. She said I was VERY WELL PRESERVED. WELL PRESERVED??? WTF??? What am I supposed to say to that? "Gee, um, thanks?"
    Perhaps its because ya got more rap than a mummy, babe! Love's ya.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    hahahahahahahah


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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    Quote Originally Posted by KitKatDC

    Anyhow, My friend tells me that it is harder on attractive women to age than average looking women.
    That's true... I learned that in my introduction to psych class years ago. Personally, I'm terrified of getting old. Ever since I turned 21, I cry at every birthday because I'm that much closer to being old. Being old=close to death.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    Smush33, I'm not being hostile, I'm just calling a spade a spade. I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and assume you are NOT a genetic engineer or evolutionary biologist. As far as I know the nature/nurture debate is still unresolved, but it tends to lean towards social conditioning as to what a particular society finds sexually desireable.

    In past cultures women have been considered desireable for their ability to reproduce. Certain physical characteristics are genetically linked to the ability to reproduce healthy off spring, large butts and breasts, for example. But in modern America skinny girls are valued as beautiful to the point that women will starve themselves to acheive that "beauty ideal". In the past and even as recently as 40-50 years ago, skinny was considered ugly and not desireable. Olive Oil was not a figure type any woman coveted.

    Huh, so this tendency to be attracted to the least viable sexual partner to produce off spring (women who have too low of a body fat percentage stop ovulating) does seem to argue that genetics and evolution has nothing to do with anything.

    Also, if we were such slaves to our "genetic programing" to produce off-spring with a viable mate, then why are some people gay? Why do people who are so genetically different, that children aren't a possibility for them (remeber the need for blood tests before marriage??) still find each other attractive? that would not make any sense if were were "programmed" to be otherwise.

    I just feel like the blanket statement that women are attracted to money and men are attracted to youth is BS. It has nothing to do with evolution or genetics or biology.

    Oh, and Guy Ritchie is 10 years Madonna's junior. And yes, Ashton did have some fame on his own, but Demi brings a lot of clout that Ashton has not yet had a chance to achieve.

    I'd like to reiterate that I am not being hostile. I enjoy debate and am simply voiceing a difference of opinion. I have no proof either way, though, and will happily concede that our attraction to others is genetic as soon as someone can prove it.
    Last edited by Paris; 10-15-2006 at 11:47 AM.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: Are you scared of getting old??

    KitKatDC I am right there with you!

    I am almost 30 and freaking out too. I don't want to have plastic surgery or botox or injections.

    The only thing that keeps me sane is my mantra:

    Every night I remind myself as I am drinking my coffee (cuz I can't stay up like I used to) and taking my advil (so my legs don't hurt) - True beauty is completely natural and people will gravitate towards the sexiness of self confidence. It is in the movement and attitude - not the age.

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