My youth went by in a flash.
When I turned 25, I became obsessed with getting old. Buying anti aging creams and setting up a cosmetic surgery fund for the future. I mean I was obsessed To the point that I think I should have sought professional help. My lil sis who is barely legal doesn't understand, she's quick to say "You are NOT old, 70 is old. WHen you get that age, holla at me!!" Now I'm almost 30, and I feel like as I often say it "expired milk". When I search the dating profiles on line I can't help but to notice that a large number of men in my age range are seeking women 18-25, which only makes me feel worse. Even Guys approaching 40, are seeking 18-29 and soon I'll be out of that loop... Which brings up another question?? Why do guys always think they "deserve" a younger woman, but women get dirty looks if they try to date younger???
Anyhow, My friend tells me that it is harder on attractive women to age than average looking women. Meaning even though all of us will eventually loose our figures and get wrinkles, the pretty women have much more to lose. Pretty women are use to all the attention the added perks from being young and cute... As my mom always says, when she was young and got a flat tire, men would come out of the wood works trying to help her. Now at 50 something, she gets a flat tire and maybe some nice guy might help her or she'll have to call my dad and just wait till he gets there to help. When you are young and pretty things are handed to you.... I know it says alot about me that I think all I have to offer the world is a cute face and booty...but how can I not think this way when I've been bombarded with these images and theories since I was a kid.
I know the only other option is death.....And at my age, how do I build some self-esteem I really need to let go of the idea that I am my "beauty and Youth" and that's all I have to offer??
I think this is another reason why I gave up on dancing...I was starting to feel old....But truth is I miss it, even though I wasn't making tons of money. I enjoyed meeting new people and getting a daily work out more than the money. Maybe it's not to late for me to get into it again. I just want to dance 2 more years for grad school.



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. His marriage would likely stay in tact and his buddies would rally around him as the "Stud du jour".


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