We’ve all seen the movie starring Demi Moore, we’ll I have to say it’s hit rather close to home. I have lost physical custody of my two youngest children, primarily because I supported them by dancing vs. sitting on my butt, gaining wait while looking for the government to give me a hand out.
My ex-hubby was perfectly happy with me dancing before the birth of our first child. I was dancing while we were dating, during the engagement, hell I even paid for the damn wedding by myself. I ask him repeatedly if he had a problem with it before we got married. He said it wasn’t that big of a deal, and he understood it was just a job, keep in mind during that time he was an unemployed student. So I paid for everything.
During his senior year of college, we decided to have a child together. I already had a five-year-old son from a pervious marriage. I decided to dance until my fourth month, pulling a few double shifts to put back money for the duration of my maternity leave. In those four months, I earned enough money to pay for all the baby’s needs, and pay all my bills for the next nine months, Wow.
Well after my daughter was four months old, I decided it was time to go back to work, bills were do and Hubby’s part time minimum wage job, wasn’t cutting it. Boy was I ever in for it. His parents caught wind of it, and he delivered me an ultimatum. Stop dancing or find myself divorced. Well I didn’t want to go through a second divorce, so I stopped dancing and took a “real” job as the Assistant Director of an Animal Shelter. I worked up 75 hours a week, for $20,000 a year salary. I lost precious time with my infant daughter, so he could deal with his family. “Ball-less SOB”
Well that wasn’t such a good idea for more than one reason. I resented him, because I felt and still feel that he stole my daughter from me. He quit his job, he stopped going to school and stayed at home with my baby girl, while I continued to support his lame ass.
Being determined to make my marriage work I continued to fulfill my wifely obligations, and ended up pregnant again. My POS husband, remained unemployed during my pregnancy, he even turned down a job for $60,000 a year, because he felt it was beneath him. In the mean time, I worked full time scooping poop and putting my health and the health of my unborn at risk, only to come home to a filthy house, and a hungry daughter. He did nothing; I even push mowed the lawn because he was too sorry to do it.
Well at the beginning of my eight-month, I was coming home from an eight-hour workday and I was involved in a head on collision. My husband was asleep during the time of the accident and my mother had to take me to the hospital, (I wasn’t up for the $800 taxi to the hospital). Three hours later my baby boy arrived with minor complications via c-section.
The animal shelter I worked for didn’t offer any paid leave, my husband was still unemployed and I felt like a mack truck had hit me. Guess what, I was back to work in less than two weeks after a major car accident and a major surgery. My bastard husband got to be at home with children, while I worked eight painful hours only stopping long enough to pump milk for the baby.
Needless to say, by this point, I’d had enough. Last May I kicked his ass to the curve. Sounds like things would start to look up, right? WRONG! If you are a dancer or an attractive woman you understand it’s not always a good thing. My boss at the shelter was having marital problems as well. When he left home, his fat wife blamed me. She called her mom, the Treasurer on the Board of Directors for the animal shelter. In June, I lost my job.
Now you gals think like I do. What would you do, having three children to feed and cloth by yourself with no financial support? Draw a welfare check and give up cable tv or put on your stilettos and dramatically improve your financial situation? I opted for the later of the two.
My ex finally realized just how badly he had screwed himself over. He had to get a job and move in with his hypocritical parents. He was then determined to do everything in his power to force me to take his sorry butt back in.
He started of with psychological abuse (psyche being his college major). He convinced me that I would do nothing but hurt my children that I had ripped their little hearts out. His abuse worked, In desperation and depression I thought I’d do the world and my children a favor and just end it. After I consumed a bottle of aspirin and shredded my arms, I changed my mind and went to the hospital were I spent four days.
He told my Mother in the hospital waiting room that If I didn’t take him back, he was going to take my children and he could do because I was mentally unstable. What a shock!
After confessing everything to my Doctor, he strongly advised that I refrain from any contact with my ex. I followed his advice and had my ex removed from house via police four days later.
The following evening my ex handed me a signed court order, he was granted emergency custody of my kids. He really didn’t want them I kept them seventy percent of the time. He had them on the two nights per week that worked in Lexington, 1 hour away. This went on up until my final divorce hearing in July of the year.
The Judges final ruling.
I was found to be mentally instable, even though I had a letter from my Doctor stating my suicide attempt was a direct result of the action of my ex husband and there was no medical or psychological that would interfere with my parenting abilities. I had records from 911 were my ex was removed from my home. None of it mattered.
The courts also found that my self chosen occupation as an entertainer was placing my children’s physical, mental and emotional health at risk. Because strip clubs are frequented by sexual predators. Didn’t matter that I lived over and hour away from my place of work.
To make the deal even sweeter, I was ordered to pay my ex $790.00 per month in child support.
The irony of this is, the Judge has kept the seats warm at another adult establishment in Lexington for year. My ex husbands attorney, patronized my place of work and stopped in to see me the week before the ruling went through.
Does any have any suggestions or advice? It’s taken every thing that I have to keep my sanity. I would appreciate any feed back
Thanks
Billy



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