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Thread: Question about anal sex

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    Veteran Member metal_n_mitsu's Avatar
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    Default Question about anal sex

    So I have been trying the whole anal sex thing, but it's excrutiatingly painful. Do any of you do this on a regular basis??? Did it hurt really really bad for you at first and does it continue to hurt or does it actually start to feel good after a while. I've heard that you can have anal orgasms but I have never been able to handle it long enough, it hurts too bad. Sorry if this is really graphic, but I feel weird asking anyone else that I know....
    MISTRESS ALEXA

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    Go VERY slowly. And when I mean very, my first time took me TWO HOURS. Go as slow as it takes. Use a LOT of lube, I reccomend Pjur Eros Bodyglide.

    It shouldn't hurt at all, that really means you're forcing it. You can't force that kind of thing.


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    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    It is pure fucking agony for me. I want to like it; I totally get off on the idea. But I just can't take it. I could bite down and get through it with my ex, but my boyfriend now is hung like a moose and it just HURTS!! We've tried several times, with tons of lube, but it only worked once. And that time I loved it. I had taken half an ecstasy tablet. So I guess the key to enjoyable buttsex is an E.

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    God/dess PleasureVictim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    Here's what I do:

    1. Have him put lube on his penis.

    2. Put lube on your finger and stick it in your butt. Do this a few times, until you are comfortable. Sliding the finger in and out also 'primes' your hole for whats about to come.

    3. Tell him NOT to move. The way I do it is to have him lay on his side (like spooning) while YOU guide it in/move back on his dick. This is a godsend. No matter how many times you tell them to go slow...they still go to fast. Let him watch some porn or something while you work it in.

    4. Take your time, focus on relaxing your scphinter. It's not easy- believe me. Not to be graphic- but it works so well because of all the pratice it's had pushing things out- not allowing them in.

    5. So women prefer short strokes at first until they get used to the feeling- others may like in-and-out long strokes. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but that's your ass getting used to the motion. After a few minutes it will start to feel better.

    It should NOT be extremely painful.

    This book is amazing! So much info- I only browsed it and it helped me alot- look into it.


    It's by Tristan Taormino.

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    God/dess PleasureVictim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    I'm gonna add- I don't have anal alot (he's not into it that much) but I have done it enough to have decent experience. Even with my tried and true method- sometimes I still force it. Just like Lillith said- that will ruin the WHOLE experience.

    You can tell yourself to 'relax' as much as you want...but that's not going to help much. Take your time- relax that muscle..and move back millimeter by milimeter.

    Believe it or not, I talked a friend through it. She hated it before, and now she can't get enough. Her husband should have sent me a 'Thank You' card-- but whatever.

  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    Quote Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan
    Go VERY slowly. And when I mean very, my first time took me TWO HOURS.
    Was that with a dildo or a guy? How on earth did he stay hard for that long?

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    Veteran Member Smoothcat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    Wow, so much for my illusion of strippers being natural porn stars.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    It was with my ex. He could keep it hard for a day. He never used the blood for his brain anyway. And, yes, spooning!


    Look like a woman
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    Quote Originally Posted by metal_n_mitsu
    Do any of you do this on a regular basis???
    Fuck no! Birthdays and holidays only!

    Try a title search for "butt sex" or "anal sex" There are some reeeeeeeaaaaally great threads on it in Ladies Only. Try to find the thread that Bellina contributed to. That was funny shit. No pun intended.


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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    I love anal and request it on a regular basis. On that note when I tried it with my ex-husband it was fucking AWFUL and I swore i'd never try it again. My boyfriend of almost 6 years made me feel very safe and I trusted him completely and never pressured me. Now I love it. Go figure...

    Anyhow, advice I would give that's muy importante:

    You have to trust your partner 100% If you have any fear he's going to hurt you you're going to be tense which will make it less than pleasant.

    Relax, relax, relax. If you expect something to hurt, it will. Have a glass of wine, do a shot, smoke a bone, whatever, do yoga or some shit. Just chill and be loose.

    Lots of lube. Lots. Of lube. Did I mention a lot of lube?

    Go slow. Really really really slow. Experiment with positions. My guy had said in the past with other women they liked being on top because they had total control. I personally like it when he goes at me in a spooning position or with me on my belly and him on top.

    I'm not saying it's never hurt. I've found that (not counting my shitty ex husband) on the rare occasion its a bit uncomfortable, once i've adjusted it's all good.

    In closing, don't feel bad if it doesn't work for you. Not everything works for everyone!



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    Featured Member desavirsire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex


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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    Quote Originally Posted by desavirsire
    lol. the ultimate anal thread.

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    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    Okay, now for the oversharing part of our show. I worked up to anal with butt plugs. Heavily lubed butt plugs. In progressive sizes. I found it was easier (and more enjoyable!) to get used to the sensation than suddenly introducing a penis to my bum. Butt plugs, being shaped as they are, allows one to acclimate to a bigger and bigger size when ready. Penii do not.
    And I think I've shared just about enough of my butt plug escapades... time to go hide in the dark and blush.

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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    I just read the anal thread but I'm still not sure if it's possible to orgasm directly from anal sex. Is it?
    I'll try anything once. I was also wondering if there are odours associated with this activity even if one uses enemas and cleans? Bedsheets stained? My fear is brown colored mixture of semen and lube leaking out of my butt.

  15. #15
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    Angelina, that frothy mix is called santorum, in honor of anti-gay fundamentalist senator Rick Santorum (R-PA). I never heard of anyone doing an enema to avoid it. You just go to the bathroom the day of the buttsex, so there isn't anything up there, and wash. If any santorum dribbles out, the party's over by that point anyway, so it doesn't matter. When I used to let my ex do me, I'd just go to the bathroom and clean up right afterward, and no worries.

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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    I reach orgasm through anal without "extra help" (manual stimulation, etc) on a pretty regular basis but I orgasm really easy... or so i've been told.

    As for mess/ clean up, it's not as horrific as you'd think. I personally haven't ever gone out of my way to clean myself internally beforehand and my guy who is a bit of a clean freak has never complained and when I straight out asked he said he never thought of it as gross etc.

    Pretty much any guy who's lucky to fuck a gal in the ass isn't going to complain about anything.

    Seriously though, like Yek said, you just hit the bathroom afterwards. I never had an issue with leakage (wow that sounds disgusting lol) after sex but I would assume that would vary from person to person based on muscle control etc. *shrug*

    It's not anywhere nearly as messy as you'd expect or imagine.



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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    I have no idea why, but butt sex never hurt me at all. I felt pressure for sure...but, nope, all fine. I enjoyed it. The last guy I was with really liked it (although I always wondered about why he had such a love of ass sex, but I'm paranoid like that...for real though, he was CRAZY about it) and we did it almost every time we had sex...as the ending crescendo I s'pose. I don't come in any shape or form, but anal is pleasant enough for me.

    He did start with fingers. Like one, then two, then he was all "look, I brought lube? can we?". I mean, we weren't like in love or anything. And in a lot a ways I didn't trust the guy AT ALL, but I liked having sex with him, we always used condoms, and that was that. I guess I'm just maybe too easy going when it comes to sex. Very suggestible in the "i'll try anything once" kinda way. I add this info just to say it wasn't about the guy that made it easy for me.

    We used lube the first time, and honestly, didn't hurt me one bit. We never used lube after that. I know I'm probably an anomaly that way. I thought I'd share my experience though, just to reassure you that it need not be something to fear? For everyone?

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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    I'd recommend an experienced and patient partner, and someone you trust not to ass-rape you (at least not at first hehe). My first experiences with anal put me off when my partner was too hurried and/or didn't know what he was doing. Lube, YES, even if it's only olive oil, b/c your ass does not self-lube with any agreeable substance (ew). Finger-prep, yes, or if fingers irritate you (they do me sometimes) mix it up with a dildo or buttplug or whatever. One way or another I DO definitely recommend building up with something, it'll acclimate you to the feeling, plus it's WAY erotic to be 'trained' like that for awhile- my bf spent months on me before going in, sometimes he'd just pay attention there or sometimes sneak some fingers in while sexin normally, lovely! I think it helps a lot as well that he's uncircumsized- seems that his foreskin allows him to move more there with less friction. Even now though full anal isn't the norm for us, but a special treat when the mood hits us both right and I can handle it. Hope that helps, GL!

    P.S. Gotta admit though that if I'm thinkin anal I lay off the fiber, and be sure to get as much out as I can before we start, ahem! Afterwards I'll just lay on my tummy awhile and have a bathroom cleanup before the next round, baby wipes have come up clean so far.

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    Senior Member Ms Angela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    Oh damn you guys, now I wanna march straight home and demand some anal X3

    Oh yesyesyes. Go SLOWLY and if just for safety measures, train train TRAIN. My current boyfriend trains me regularly with an inflatable butt plug (ingenius things, so many sizes in one toy!) which works very well for me, because you can stretch a little farther and adjust.

    Remember, your anal spinchter is a muscle. You do not try to do a sideways split before training and stretching a lot beforehand. Same principle here.

    I used to have a bf who was DAMN HUNG. He never gave me any time and unless I was absolutely -CRYING- for anal, I wasn't able to do it. He even ripped me up one time, very unpleasent.

    Slow, safe and ofcourse, HAVE FUN.

    (Oh yes and lots and lots of foreplay helps)

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    Senior Member Return2theStage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    I want stress something on the other thread. Numbing lube. They make on called Lube It- used to be anal easy, lol. You can still feel it- it just doesn' t hurt, lol. Once you get used to it with it you can go without it.

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    Veteran Member wonderkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    Read The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino. It has tooooons of information.

    Make sure you are really relaxed before you attempt anal sex. Practice by yourself using butt plugs or, even better, anal vibrators. Make sure whatever you're using has a flanged base so it won't get lost in you. Use tons of lube... just when you thnk it's too much lube, add more.

    I would not recommend the numbing lube. If you're being hurt and can't feel it you might suffer damage to your rectum.... NOT GOOD. If anal sex hurts you have to stop.

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    Veteran Member metal_n_mitsu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    I really think that mabye I'm rushing it, but I watche these porns where the girls take a huge cock in their ass without even flinching and I just figured it shouldn't be THAT hard, but it definately is! I'm gonna try some of that numbing lube and just work up with butt plugs, I have one that vibrates, I highly recomend it
    MISTRESS ALEXA

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    Veteran Member wonderkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    Quote Originally Posted by metal_n_mitsu
    I really think that mabye I'm rushing it, but I watche these porns where the girls take a huge cock in their ass without even flinching and I just figured it shouldn't be THAT hard, but it definately is! I'm gonna try some of that numbing lube and just work up with butt plugs, I have one that vibrates, I highly recomend it
    I believe in those pornos there is some preparation that you don't see.

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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    Quote Originally Posted by Return2theStage
    I want stress something on the other thread. Numbing lube. They make on called Lube It- used to be anal easy, lol. You can still feel it- it just doesn' t hurt, lol. Once you get used to it with it you can go without it.
    Be careful with numbing lube. If it numbs your ass guess what else is gonna be numb.



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    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about anal sex

    No numbing lube!!!!! No numbing lube ever. If something goes wrong, you want to know. I have a friend who had to take a trip to the ER after the numbing lube wore off and she noticed the incredible pain (she had a perforation in her colon... big, long hospital stay). Plus, it might numb him, making him unhappy as well.

    To state something that should be obvious, if you are thinking of using fingers to train, make sure the fingernails are clipped and clean.

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