I was sitting in Detroit airport on my connection to St. Louis today when I was gifted by the conversation of five gentlemen.
Not going into detail about the conversation and it's buildup, but the bartender/waitress (whom I was heckling about hiding the pancakes from me on the menu) and I where intrigued by the comments four out of the five gentlemen where making.
The conversational material was "My wife sucks, don't get married because your sex life goes to hell"
Now, the conversation was aimed at a young gent who was apparently single. While listening to this conversation (3 out of 5 where decent material. No #4s. No #2s...more like the guys frustratedbunny would like) it was noted to be very ciclical. 4 Complaints and 1 Dispell of the complaints followed by the Dispeller (correct grammar?) praised his live in girlfriend, followed by 4 similar justifications and then repeated.
Of course the waitress/bartender, now knowing me, dared me to say something. And those who know me, know I carry very little shame and am intrigued by these types of conversations anyways, so I interject:
"So you're telling me, I shouldn't get married to this woman I tell repetedly is the most amazing thing ever?" (Note, I'm not seeing anyone, fresh out of a divorce really. But what do I care?)
4 answered. Not even JOKINGLY said some form of don't do it.
One gentlemen, probably the best looking one, went so far as to profess the fact that he has to start an argument with his wife in a gamble to hopes to have "make up sex".
I addressed him directly at first.
"If it's so bad, why stay married?"
insert bullshit answer.
The one dude that is happy with his girlfriend looks at me and says "I honestly don't know what their problem is." And I replied "Well that's obvious, my new friend. These gentlemen are challenged by your happyness in your relationship and it magnifies their issues in their marriages. Which I am sure they are just blowing out of proportion, probably cause you're dating a smoking hottie."
And this kid says "Ha. Yea, she's a cutie."
Guy1"I'm telling you, marry her and she'll just not care anymore."
Guy2"And if you like having sex, keep the ring off."
Then I looked at Guy2. "Why do you believe that?"
Guy2"Cause they don't have to try to keep you." (now I decide to be funny)
Mast"Oh cause you're an amazing catch."
*Laughter*
Guy3"Well you put on some weight since the marriage yourself Guy2!"
Guy2"Yea but not that bad"
Mast*taps his collar* "You getting this Miss Guy2?, Sir, Could you repeat what you said louder?"
Guy2"OH SO YOU'RE THE REASON SHE'S BEEN HAPPIER LATELY"
Mast"Are you insinuating I'm porking your wife?"
Guy2"Well I'm not"
Mast"Can we take Guy2 down off the cross?"
Then Guy4 said something I don't remember what, but the kid whom was dating was like "You're all just jealous"
Mast*Points* "Ding, tell him what he's won"
Guy4"Who are you?"
Mast"The spanish inquisition. Seriously, I just want to know. How long did you guys date your wives? I mean if you want me to leave fine... I'll go, but I'm getting married and I want to know if I'm doing the right thing."
And they started telling stories of praise of how awesome their girls where.... I went over to the waitress, leaned in and said "Apparently your sensuallity is an asset that depreciates over marital assets" she replied "What assholes. I'm actually hurting for their wives" I said "Naw don't they're probably 90% talk just to look big. Misery loves company"
So I asked pointblank....
And I ask the people of SW
"What is it, why is it that when you're dating, you all compare your significant others to their grater values before you're commited to them legally, then you compare them based upon their faults?"
I got answers, but a lot of them bailed out and said "Well she's not that bad." or some form, and guy2 (the loudest of the bunch) said "I just like busting her balls." And I told him "Well sure, I understand that the grass is greaner on the other side of the fence, but I know more about your sex life than ANYONE should. I mean c'mon! Keep it to yourself man! People only know what you tell him" And that fucker replied "Well you don't know much, cause there aint a sex life." and everyone still laughed.
I don't get it. I do from a imaginative stand point, but not in my own shoes. Even in my horrifically wrong marriage it took so many people to convince me to see her as a negative influence. I just want to know...why is it bragging rights while dating yet misery-penis-size comparison after marriage...sounds so unattractive.
Now, of note, I keep things funny, the conversation was no where near as bad as it sounds, but I like to do shit like that, it's entertaining to me. But the observation is still there. Again I know this isn't any other case, just these guys. Why do they try to prove who settled the most after marriage. Women, when you over hear your man talking like this, do you address it?
Open for discussion.



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I believe you Dottie and you have my support
). Maybe if those guys at the airport bar would speak frnakly with their wives, there would be no issue. Unless they are being unreasonable, of course.

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