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Thread: divorce question

  1. #1
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default divorce question

    I have a legal question and don't know if I am in the right thread or not. I have heard that if your husband has an affair that you may be granted an immediate divorce as opposed to having to wait or not cohabitat for one year. His "new girlfriend" is now living with him, he did sleep with this girl and develop feelings for her which is part of the reason I left. Any legal advice here would be greatly appreciated.

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    Default Re: divorce question

    I'm not sure how it is in your state, but in NJ, adultery is grounds for immediate divorce as opposed to the 18 month wait for a no fault.

    Of course, he could contest it and it could drag out. Do you have a lawyer or are you doing it on your own?

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: divorce question

    I don't have a lawyer. I don't want no drama, just a divorce. I want to do it on my own. What would happen to him if he didn't contest it?

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    Default Re: divorce question

    Well, nothing would "happen" to him. If you own a house or property together, you should get a lawyer because I'm sure he would fight over his interests.

    But, if you guys are being amicable, as my husband and I were, decide who gets what and file. My husband and I did our divorce together over the internet, then downloaded the papers and filed them. All told it came to about $500, which we split.

    We just wanted it over so I let him sue me for adultery so we wouldn't have to wait the 18 months (we chose adultery because it wasn't ikky like spousal abuse). As we planned, when the court date rolled around, I didn't show up and he was granted the divorce by default because I wasn't there to contest it.

  5. #5
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: divorce question

    Green, don't do it yourself, especially if, as it sounds, your ex and you aren't on good terms. Get a lawyer. You're trying to save money, but keep in mind the old saying, "You know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's WORTH it."

    Good luck with everything.

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    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: divorce question

    I can't give you legal advice but I can tell you that family law attorneys seem to be a bunch of money hungry leaches that drag things out so they can make a ton of money so good thing you don't have one. Otherwise you might be still trying to get divorce a couple years from now AND $30k in debt to your attorney.

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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: divorce question

    if you are concerned about getting dicked on assets, get a lawyer.

    there is an old lawyer's saying: 'a man who represents himself has a fool for a client' (applies to the ladeez equally).

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: divorce question

    We are on good terms. I talked to him about it and he wants me to see if I can get assistance with the medical bills I occured because of him and if not he will pay them. Then I guess I will look into filing online. We have already split our assets. I am just starting to see someone I really like myself and I feel weird about still being married Plus, he is living with another woman. I just want it to be over with.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: divorce question

    you two can do it yourself then.....and I don't know about your state, but it seems that adultery would be grounds for instant divorce.

    Good Luck!




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    Default Re: divorce question

    well here's one lawyer's do it yourself forms for north carolina divorce, specifically wake county.
    http://www.rosen.com/ppf/ID/58/issues.asp

    apparently most people get lawyers, but you can get a good idea of the process in north carolina by researching on the internet.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: divorce question

    You have to get a divorce in the state in which you resided at the time of marriage dissolution (which is not North Carolina for you, I believe). I know when my mom and dad divorced, she had to file here since its where it happened and all.

    Before you do ANYTHING, find out all of the hurdles/loopholes. It would suck to file in NC only to find out that you needed to file in GA....especially since you do not get a refund on filing fees.

    So, find out if GA grants immediate divorces based upon adultery and if they do then you need to find out if you can file for a divorce in NC when the marriage dissolved and assets are all located in another state.

    Very important.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: divorce question

    We resided in South Carolina.

  13. #13
    missalovelady
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    Default Re: divorce question

    I think if you get the forms and he agrees and signs the paperwork and you guys have no kids or property you can get an imediate divorce for around 100 bucks.No lawyer needed.

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    Default Re: divorce question

    before jumping into a 'do it yourself' divorce, I'd take a real hard look at the settlement agreement - not only in regard to the division of existing property (which it sounds like you have already done), but also the division of future property (like his pension, 401k, next year's tax refund etc.) and most important of all the division of responsibility for bills. When I got divorced, my ex made a number of promises in regard to outstanding bills he had created (i.e. credit cards), but after the divorce was granted and he reneged on making the payments as he had 'promised' his creditors jumped all over MY a$$ because the credit card account was in both of our names !

    If you have outstanding medical bills, outstanding credit card bills etc. unless the responsibility for repayment is CLEARLY spelled out in a settlement agreement your ex's 'promise' to pay doesn't amount to s#!t from a legal standpoint where angry aggressive creditors are concerned. If your ex walks away from paying these debts as 'promised', the creditors can and will come straight after you for the unpaid balances ... and ruin your credit rating in the process.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: divorce question

    ^ Uh, yeah. I missed that part. If you have ANY outstanding bills, credit cards, etc, etc, etc, as Melonie pointed out...you need to get that agreement to pay in writing and legally witnessed (notarized). Different states have different requirements for doing this, so make sure you research it thoroughly before you file any papers. You can make amendments, but once its ruled on...that's it.

    Do ALL of your research now. Even if it takes you 2 months. If you are looking at bills/tax refunds/etc that are going to total more than the cost of a lawyer, I would seriously consider getting a lawyer to draw up the paperwork. So, what I mean, is if its about car payments, credit card debt, and tax refunds that total $35,000 and it would cost you $2,500 for a lawyer to draw up the legal docs...you are better off getting the lawyer to do it. I hate to say it, but after all of my years of working in law offices, I can count on one hand the amount of divorces that ended amicably. In fact, I cannot tell you how many times the divorce started nicely until it came down to the nitty gritty of divorce and then things went down from there.

    Do your research. Ask every question you can think of BEFORE filing. I cannot stress how important that is to do before you do anything legally.

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