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Thread: Getting Recognized

  1. #1
    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Getting Recognized

    Well, with finally posting on the Coming Out section, I figured I'd share this story of what happened to me last weekend at work. It was embarrassing, funny and a bit scary at the same time. So I was working on Friday night and I just finished doing a few dances for this guy and I was getting ready to go home for the night (it was about 1:45 or so..). Well, I say bye to the guy I was dancing for and I notice these three guys are looking at me kind of funny. I'm thinking, okay.. Well, anyways, one of the guys calls me over and says, "hey-don't you bank at First National??" I'm thinking, "oh, shit (my face immediately turns red as I had just been in there that afternoon to deposit some $$)!" And then his friend goes, "yeah, didn't you come in today and add your boyfriend as a signer on your account?" And I'm thinking wow, not only did they regcognize me, they remembered what I did at the bank!! I laughed it off and said, well, now you'll know why I'm depositing so much money in my account, I'm not a drug dealer or anything! (:...But I don't want to go back in there now!! I'm a pretty private person, and only my boyfriend and one of my best friends know that I dance, and I can just imagine the looks these guys are going to get on their faces when I go in there again! Plus, they have access to my financial information and my address. They seemed like nice guys, but you never know, right? I just worked a few days and need to go deposit some $$ today, and I am freaking out! What should I do?? Am I overreacting and just being the silly girl that I am because I was recognized at work? Or is there a potential problem here? Help!!

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    Well I would try to balance out the fact that they recognized you with the fact that these guys deal with sensitive information on a daily basis and probably have some professionalism about it (less so when they are drunk and not at work). Since they didn't get dances from you or anything, that also makes it less iffy. I would have been more creeped out if they had spent an hour in vip with you and received multiple dances before confessing. So there are a couple of things to think about that might make the situation less stressful.

    I had that happen to me once too.. I went to the us bank and sat down with a woman to move funds in my savings acct. Later that night, she came to my stage at work and asked if I bank at ____ branch! She introduced herself and said if I ever have an overdraft I can come talk to her. That was nice, if silly and kind of embarassing.

    Do they not have atms there at your bank? If not, could you have a friend go in and deposit the things for you? (I always keep deposit slips, envelopes etc in my house so I can have it all taken care of before I go to the bank.)

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    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    Honestly? I'd switch banks. Those tellers make like $10 an hour, they have no reason to keep anyone's confidentiality.
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......

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    Featured Member sunnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    Three words: Drive Through ATM

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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    Virgoamm, don't be ashamed that you are dancer. Not wanting someone to know is one thing, but being ashamed is another. Think of it like this, is a bartender ashamed that he is supplying an alcohlic with a booze, a drunk might kill someone, or a drunk might beat his wife. The only effect a lap dance may have is that a guy might bang is wife proper. Beside isn't there a cofidential clause for banks. You should of ask if he was stalking you, and if something is missing from your account you know who the first person to question. Basically it is none of his freakin business. Period.

    I work at a hospital where they have detox program for addicts. Most of those people you wouldn't think that they have an addiction. If I saw them at a bank, I will just let it go. I am not going to walk to a patient at work and say, "Hey didn't I see you working at Walmart?" (now you are trying to get off of that cocaine).

    If we only knew the things that so called "decent" people do at home.

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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    Hey you guys-thanks for all of your responses! I think one the things that worried me the most was the fact that one of the guys had specifically remembered me and what particular transaction I made over 12 hours earlier-on a Friday no less!! And another guy remembered me from the prior week??!! So the fact that the next time I go in there to make a deposit, they will be able to pull up my financial information AND my address for later reference if they were so inclined is kind of worrisome to me. I found out that they have a drive-thru around the back (I just moved out to that area abt. a week ago), so I will be utilizing that from now on!! (: Maybe I'm just being overly cautious here, but I'm fairly new to this business, so I'd just like to be careful-you know?

  7. #7
    Veteran Member Scout's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    Switch banks. These people will gossip about you every time you make a deposit. They will ask you inappropriate questions about work. They will not respect your privacy.

    If it makes you feel any better, I had to switch banks once because the tellers knew what I did for a living and smirked every time I had a large cash deposit.

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    Veteran Member Fancey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    change banks. I dont think its any of there buisness where u get youre money or what you do for a living.



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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    Quote Originally Posted by Scout
    Switch banks. These people will gossip about you every time you make a deposit. They will ask you inappropriate questions about work. They will not respect your privacy.

    If it makes you feel any better, I had to switch banks once because the tellers knew what I did for a living and smirked every time I had a large cash deposit.

    Gosh, now I have to worry about that as well as the potential stalking/harrassment issue! Grrr....I have to say though, it was pretty funny running into them at work, all concerns aside. Does anyone have any humorous/embarrassing stories like this that you'd like to share??

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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    He probably remembered cause he thought you were cute and was mentally storing away the fact that you have a boyfriend. If you ever get the slightly inkling that he's driving by your house or following you or something else like that, or if he ever says something creepy to you, call the bank immediately, as that's pretty illegal and will get him fired, regardless of your profession. They're not allowed to use info in a creepy way, and he probably won't, he was probably just flirting or trying to impress you by showing that he remembered you or something obviously misguided, yes, but probably innocent. I'd just use the drivethrough for a while anyway, he'll probably forget about it. If they start showing at your club all the time, though, you might want to switch banks. I'm pretty sure just switching banks doesn't cut off their ability to look up your information, though, they probably still have it on file.

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    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    (Off-topic: VaginaMcPrettypants, that's going to have to be my next stage name.)
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    Quote Originally Posted by vaginamcprettypants
    He probably remembered cause he thought you were cute and was mentally storing away the fact that you have a boyfriend. If you ever get the slightly inkling that he's driving by your house or following you or something else like that, or if he ever says something creepy to you, call the bank immediately, as that's pretty illegal and will get him fired, regardless of your profession. They're not allowed to use info in a creepy way, and he probably won't, he was probably just flirting or trying to impress you by showing that he remembered you or something obviously misguided, yes, but probably innocent. I'd just use the drivethrough for a while anyway, he'll probably forget about it. If they start showing at your club all the time, though, you might want to switch banks. I'm pretty sure just switching banks doesn't cut off their ability to look up your information, though, they probably still have it on file.

    I love your name, by the way.... What you said makes perfect sense. He probably was trying to impress me by saying that. I just thought it was odd for them to have remembered exactly what I did at the bank that day...But hey, he probably did think I was cute and that's why they remembered all that they did.. You're right, it probably was completely innocent. Just the idea of someone from the club having access to my address kinda scared me a little, so I just wanted to bounce this off of everyone's heads here to get an outside opinion to see if I was just being overly cautious/silly or if I had a potential problem. Thanks for the stellar advice you gave, I definitely will be using it!

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    Member RubySoho's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    When I was dancing, I was depositing and withdrawing large amounts all the time. The tellers all got to know me well and would make conversation with me there. If they saw me ouside of the back they would say hi and maybe chat, but they would Never, Ever say anything about my finances either at the bank or other. Even if I came in twice a day they wouldn't even comment "oh, back again?" What those guys did was innapropriate and you should let them or someone else at the bank know. You don't have to go into specifics of where but tell a manager you saw them outside of the bank and they made comments about your transactions. I totally agree with vaginamcprettypants, but still.

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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    Quote Originally Posted by RubySoho
    When I was dancing, I was depositing and withdrawing large amounts all the time. The tellers all got to know me well and would make conversation with me there. If they saw me ouside of the back they would say hi and maybe chat, but they would Never, Ever say anything about my finances either at the bank or other. Even if I came in twice a day they wouldn't even comment "oh, back again?" What those guys did was innapropriate and you should let them or someone else at the bank know. You don't have to go into specifics of where but tell a manager you saw them outside of the bank and they made comments about your transactions. I totally agree with vaginamcprettypants, but still.
    I agree totally with you. Certain businesses have a confidential clause that they must follow. As a dancer we cannot say that we saw "Mr. Big Time Business Man" getting a lapdance. He comes into that place on his private time, and he makes the assumption that his time in the club is private.

  15. #15
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    Is there a way you can use the same bank and account, but go to a different branch? For example, I use "ABC Bank," which is a popular national chain. There are 3 branches within a mile of where I live. I also use a second bank, which is a smaller local chain. There is one up the street from me, but around 8 other locations in the Philly area. Sometimes it is worth it to drive a little further to the next branch. I had to do that when I banked at Citizens Bank, because the tellers screwed up my account and I argued with them about it. I felt embarrassed and like an ass facing them after we'd argued about my account on the phone, so I avoided them by driving a little further.

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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite
    (Off-topic: VaginaMcPrettypants, that's going to have to be my next stage name.)

    Hehe, when I was registering I yelled into the other room to my boyfriend "If I were to become a stripper, what should my stage name be?" and that was his answer. At least no one would forget it

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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    I think you are overexaggerating. What difference does it make if the guys that work at your bank branch saw you at work? They came from their job where you work just like you patronize where they work.

    That is a big problem that many strippers make. Not treating this as a job. If you worked at Macy's and the same guys came to your register to pay, and recognized you, would you feel the same way?

    Plus, who goes inside a bank anymore. Virtually all banks have branches and all have ATM's. You have a debit card don't you? Why can't you make all your deposits through the ATM? And getting paid in cash as we do, making withdrawals should be a rarity. You're in Houston right? I lived and danced there for over a year. All the big banks have at least 30-40 branches. Hardly anyone goes to their branch anymore nowadays.

    I'm just saying that it is coming across loud and clear that you are uneasy about being a dancer and being forthright about it. The bank employees don't care about you and your job. They just went to your club to kick it for awhile and saw a familiar face.

    You can't worry every time you run into someone you know at the club. They obviously are cool with going to strip clubs or they wouldn't be there in the first place, would they?

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    Featured Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting Recognized

    I agree with PanDah on this one,

    I have worked as a teller. Any teller/member service rep that would say something like that in a public place is kind of odd. First of all it was very unprofessional and second it was a breach in your confidentiality. Not only did he say where you banked but also sensitive information about your account. A teller/member service rep can be fired and possibly face jail time if they divulge or use your personal information ( ie social security #, address,etc). I would tell the manager. You don't have to say where you were. Just tell the manager you ran into them, they started talking about where you banked and your transactions in public. Banking is a very conservative profession. I doubt they are going to tell their manager they saw you at a strip club. Because then they would have explain why they were there lol

    You didn't say if you recognized them? Did you remeber them as tellers, member service rep, loan officer, or at all?

    Philly made a good suggestion too I think, if this is uncomfortable for you go to another branch for awhile.

    When working as a teller at a small credit union we had two strippers that were members. One was really sleazy and crazy. She wrote bad checks and then tried to seduce our lawyer to get out of it.

    The other was awesome. We used to get makeup tips from her. She was confident and professional. It really all comes down to how you carry yourself.

    Being a teller has the same problems though. Men I helped as a teller would follow me thru stores, try to follow me home from work, or try to get me to hang out with them. Some of it was sweet and flattering. Other times it was scary. In the end follow your instincts in how to deal with it.

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