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Thread: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    I have a lot of reasons for not wanting to have biological kids. I do not want kids at all, but because of the type of person I am, I would rather foster kids, or adopt kids than have biological kids. However, being 23, I know it's near impossible to get my tubes tied.

    I've been on Depo for five years, and I'm tired of being on it. I want to drop the weight that has been there, and I feel like I sleep too much naturally-- and that this has a lot to do with my birth control. I do not want to go on a less effective method, so my only choices I would consider would be to stay on Depo Provera, to switch to Norplant and see how that treats me, or get my tubes tied.

    I don't even want my period, and have gotten used to not having it, but I am finally getting to the point where I feel I need to get off of birth control. I'll have the period.

    I never had the super super painful periods, or the type of blood flow which puts me into physical danger.

    I just really hate how the medical institution doesn't allow women to make their own minds up. I understand that doctors do not want to be sued, but c'mon, the United States already has way to many people overconsuming...come up with an iron tight paper to not be sued.




    Please help me. I really want this and have wanted this for several years. However, I hadn't really pursued it because I was satisfied with Depo Provera. I'm still satisfied, but I think I'm tired of all birth control.

    What do I do? Can I lie to doctors about how painful my periods are and how heavy my blood flow is to get my tubes tied?

    How much does it cost?

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    About five grand and you can't do a THING about it. I have cervical cancer and they won't even take my bits out. So in ahead and try. Oh, and your male partner can get snipped at eighteen. Welcome to sexism.


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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    You know, I hear about the wonderful cosmetic surgery one can have done in Thailand. Do you think it would be possible there? That one hospital MermaidNZ recommends looks very good. I wonder if I could do that? Obviously I wouldn't do it for probably a year to get the money together both for the travel and the operation but I chafe so badly at wanting to have control over my own body, and this is bad-- the world, for the moment, does not need more human beings. And I hate that men can do whatever they want with their junk. Can't they just award me the stupid surgery and then maybe abortion wouldn't be such a political issue (it always will, no matter the numbers, but if they make better birth control for women AND men and allow women to have their tubes tied you'd figure the abortion rates would go down making it less of an issue. but who am I kidding? Politicians don't really care about abortion; they just like using it as a hot button to gain political points from the family-minded sector.)


    AAARGH!

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    Oh, you'll change your mind though! You know you will! And since abortion will be illegal, everyone will be paying for your babies from their taxes! And y'know, a Thailand cosmetic surgery sounds real nice about now.


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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    I'm about to turn 28 fancygirl and have been of the same mind as you (I do not want children because really there is how many billions of people on this planet already? The human race doesn't need my contribution... seriously) since I was young. After I did a child care course (working with young children under the age of 5) I realised I would make a great aunty or even step-mum where the children do not live at home that often.

    I would rather date a single father than produce any of my own. I don't want to even adopt or foster any children as I don't want full time motherhood or to have to take care of a child full time constantly.

    Here in Australia I won't be able to have my tubes tied until I'm 30 years old at the very least.

    Oh.. the main reason guys can get snipped rather easily is because their procedure has a higher rate of successful reversals than a woman having her tubes tied. It is because of the low success rate for having our procedure reversed they aren't so .. well.. over the moon about giving to those who are single, healthy, with no children and under 30 years old.

    *sigh* only two more years for me to go... and I too want to just have my tubes tied and stop with the depo finally...


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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    People from the U.S. Go to Thailand all the for top notch medical care not just cosmedic surgury. If it's what you want then go for it. This is the hospital that I always hear such good things about.

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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    Why don't you just try and IUD until you are older and can get it done here? My cousin had her tube's tied after her 2nd child and is now having "female trouble" (she didn't say exactly what-she is a private person) so I went with the IUD and it is great. Lasts 10 years, no hormones, and it is just about as effective as tubal litigation. After we have this child (our 2nd and last) in April, I'll be having my IUD re-inserted. LOVE the thing!Jasmine

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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    ya, i wouldn't go with the tubes tied thing. i know several women that had major hormonal issues afterwards. there is an alternative though....

    Nonsurgical Sterilization (Essure Permanent Birth Control System) – This is the first non-surgical method of sterilizing women. A thin tube is used to thread a tiny spring-like device through the vagina and uterus into each fallopian tube. Flexible coils temporarily anchor it inside the fallopian tube. A Dacron-like mesh material embedded in the coils irritates the fallopian tubes’ lining to cause scar tissue to grow and eventually permanently plug the tubes. It can take about three months for the scar tissue to grow, so it is important to use another form of birth control during this time. Then you will have to return to your doctor for a test to see if scar tissue has fully blocked your tubes. - After 3 years of follow-up studies, Essure has been shown to be 99.8 % effective in preventing pregnancy.


    it would probably be easier to get than tubes tied..worth a shot!





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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    I didn't read anything but the OP, so if this has already been said, sorry. My bf's ex wife wanted hers tied at 19, and they fought with dr.'s over it for awhile. The only way they allowed her to do it was with 'clamps'. The way I understand it, they go in and clamp off your tubes, so it's reversible if you change your mind. Might be an option until you're able to convince the docs that they should just do it. Good luck!
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    Quote Originally Posted by sassysummer
    ya, i wouldn't go with the tubes tied thing. i know several women that had major hormonal issues afterwards. there is an alternative though....

    Nonsurgical Sterilization (Essure Permanent Birth Control System) – This is the first non-surgical method of sterilizing women. A thin tube is used to thread a tiny spring-like device through the vagina and uterus into each fallopian tube. Flexible coils temporarily anchor it inside the fallopian tube. A Dacron-like mesh material embedded in the coils irritates the fallopian tubes’ lining to cause scar tissue to grow and eventually permanently plug the tubes. It can take about three months for the scar tissue to grow, so it is important to use another form of birth control during this time. Then you will have to return to your doctor for a test to see if scar tissue has fully blocked your tubes. - After 3 years of follow-up studies, Essure has been shown to be 99.8 % effective in preventing pregnancy.


    it would probably be easier to get than tubes tied..worth a shot!

    I've heard of that but I think it's fairly rare. I had mine done and had NO issues at all. It was the best thing in the world as far as i'm concerned.

    Everyone else is right though. Getting it done young is next to impossible. I had three kids by the time I was 24 and they STILL wouldn't do it for me!



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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    Sorry for the double post...

    Just a thought.

    But if getting a tubal ligation would cause hormone problems why wouldn't that blocking them with scar tissue thing not?



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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    Not so easy for Males. I have tried twice. Docs won't do it until I have two kids.......... I don't want kids either. I like my nephews and nieces but I get to give them back at the end of the day.

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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    ^^-I'm just glad I have so many ins in the medical field :-D

    I totally understand. I don't mind kids, but I'd adopt by choice anyways.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    Quote Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan
    Oh, you'll change your mind though! You know you will! And since abortion will be illegal, everyone will be paying for your babies from their taxes! And y'know, a Thailand cosmetic surgery sounds real nice about now.

    I'm really hoping you're just mocking the people who say "you'll change your mind though." There's plenty of women out there and on SW who DON'T change their mind, and judging by the women out there who are my age and want to have children so bad at some point in the future, I venture to say that there's MORE women who DON'T change their mind about having kids.

    And if it's all some sort of fucked up biological mechanism...well great. High Schoolers are being given abstinence only curriculum to control their hormones and suddenly, if you're over thirty we're crediting giving into hormones as logical thought and desire for a child?

    ?!?!?!?

    -shakes her head-
    it's ridiculous. They should just allow the surgery for whoever wants their tubes tied, and then figure it out in 5 or 10 years if the race is dying out-- which I'd DOUBT.

    I say it's a stupid conspiracy because they want the smart people to breed to keep up with all the stupid breeders (I'm not talking about anyone who has kids, but the ones who continually have accidents and wind up with like four kids in their twenties without the ability or the desire to care for them). Yet only smart people would realize and think it through that they do NOT want to have kids, and then go through the process of raising the money and going through with the surgery.

    Fuck it. If the United States wants smart people, let me get fixed, and I promise (if I adopt) I'll adopt whatever child from Russia, or China, or Japan who has parents with advanced degrees.

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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    One woman on here who'd had a heavy period talked about a sterilization procedure done with a laser, something akin to "frying her uterus." I just remember that bit.
    It helped lessen her period flow too.

    I'm wondering what that is...

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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    I was being sarcastic. It's what people always tell me and I want to strangle them.


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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. And I HATE when people give me the whole "You'll change your mind, having children is the most wonderful gift you could ever give yourself" bullshit. It makes me want to scream. After I rip their heads off and shove it up their ass.

    But seriously, it's next to impossible. BUT, I recall reading an article in Glamour or Cosmo (one of those types of mags) and it had a lady that got it done young and never regretted it, and a lady that got it done young and eventually regretted it. They each had to go through a lot of psychological evaluation prior to having it done. I believe they were under 25. It's possible that if you list out valid reasons of wanting to do it, you may be able to make it happen.

    Have a serious talk with your doctor and stress that you believe very strongly in adoption, etc and see what (s)he suggests.






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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    "Not having children is the most wonderful gift I can give myself and this whole planet. I am the one being self-less. Having a child is self-ish as it only furthers the distruction and degradation (sp?) of this planet due to having to provide for that child...."

    Is that a valid enough reason? Would that pass?

    In the end, I'm just going to wait it out. It's only two more years for me after having this same position on not wanting children since I was 15 years old (I can remember making the decision even back then and nothing has changed except that I have become even more passionate about the fact that I will NOT change my mind).


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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    Isn't anal sex a cheaper solution for all the issues listed above? LOL

    Seriously, take a budget vacation to Thailand & have the tubal ligation procedure done there...You'll save money anyway & have some nice times to boot.

    I asked for the IUD but was told doctors prefer to give those to women who have already had children (less rigid uterus.) IMO IUDs increase the risk of PID infection, which really stinks. But hey, it'll make you infertile! ; p

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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    A bit OT...do your guys' parents have issues with your decision?

    I kind of don't want kids, but I'm open to the fact that I may change my mind when I meet the right guy, or whatever, so I'm not going for perma-bc. But my mum is so psyched for grandkids (I'm an only child), she's been bugging me since I was 18.

    Honestly, sometimes I feel like I might end up having a kid just to make her happy. I mean, I'm sure I'd be a great mum & all, but I definitely don't have a ticking biological clock. I'm always telling her to prepare herself for the possibility that I might not breed, and she gets all upset.

    So, my question is, do you guys have the same thing, and did the mums eventually get over it?

    PS re: IUDs...I was conceived while my mum had one

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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    My parents know better and realise I have had this mind-set/belief/whatever for far too long to change now. Besides, I have one younger brother and two younger step brothers that they can look to for children (and that I too am hoping will have kids so I can be an Aunty as I have always wanted to be).

    Back on topic, Thailand is only viable for US. Someone like me (an aussie) will just have to wait *sigh*

    As for anal sex, that's all good and fine (believe me! I'm an ass girl) ... yet good ol' normal sex is easier and best for when I want a quickie. Anal is more for when I have more time (as I need to build up to it).


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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    My parents have a problem with my feelings. But they've learned to not even bring it up for the time being. All of the questions from my extended family and co-workers have made me really bitchy and bitter about the subject. (why aren't you married? But you've been with your bf for years! when will you get married? When are you gonna have kids? What? How could you not want kids? blah, blah, blah)

    So for now, my parents know not to ask or bring it up, b/c I end up lashing out at them. But to be honest, I'm not even sure I'd make a good mom. I'm extremely selfish in many ways and I'm not sure if I ever want to give that up. I see all the sacrificing my parents do for their kids, and while I love them for it, it's not how I want my life to be.

    My parents are Irish catholic and have 5 kids.....it's safe to say they want me to pop out a bunch of kids when I get married.
    Last edited by Hello_Kitty27; 10-27-2006 at 07:49 PM. Reason: didn't want to hijack thread ;-)






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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    Get an IUD. Low risk of side effects, and it's effective for either 5 or 10 years, depending on the type you get. No need for surgery! Or, just take birth control pills and never take the sugar pills and you won't get your period.

    Getting your tubes tied WILL not stop your period, it just doesn't let eggs get to the location they need to be to be fertilized. It's like a road block. You can't have your uterus and ovaries removed. You need your ovaries because they secrete estrogen. Without them you'd need to be on major hormones. It's not like you can just have everything removed and you'd be ok. Find a gyno who sympathizes and plan a course of action.

    I fully support your decision to have total control of your body - just educate yourself, know your options, and don't be impulsive.

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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings
    I fully support your decision to have total control of your body - just educate yourself, know your options, and don't be impulsive.
    This really hits the nail on the head for anyone feeling this way.






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    Default Re: I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?

    Even an IUD is impossible to get if you haven't had kids. Ugh. Also, my mum got over it after a few years when she finally realized I hated children. DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN FOR SOMEONE ELSE. How great of a mum resents her child? God, all the reasons people give me to have children is just selfish. Who cares wha mum thinks? Not her uterus, not her decision.


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