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Thread: The "shame" of stripping

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    Default The "shame" of stripping

    I'm just now realizing how uncomfortable it makes friends and relatives.

    I already had a brother tell me he's worried I might get into more illegal things, and how I'm so much "better" than this.

    A sister telling me she thinks I should respect my body, and how seedy and dangerous guys are who tend to frequent clubs.

    Overall people just can't believe it, I'm sick of hearing how I'm so much better than this and shit like that. God it's not prostitution.

    There is such a bad stigma attached to strippers. And I also didn't realize how offended some people get (not even dancers--but custys!!!!) about the word stripper. I've been corrected a few times to say exotic dancer.

    I always knew I was a liberal but damn!

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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Too much TV and small minded-ness.

    There is TONS of information about strippers/Exotic dancers and so forth.
    Most are simply to lazy to pick it up, look at it, look for it and actually search for it.

    Also this is the reason most of us don't tell anyone what we do. How draining to have to constantly defend a choice. Why do I have to - because some uptight, middle class, conservative baptist, bible beater thinks it is wrong and finds it offense?

    Pffft..
    Last edited by Crow; 10-30-2006 at 12:30 PM.

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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    I just think people looking at us shamefully was just part of the job. If it was so widely excepted then every girl would be doing it. Another reason why the money is not easy - we all work for it on and off the clock. Then even off the clock we have to deal with people saying not so kind things about us; passing judgement and so forth. Any other 'normal' job we wouldnt have to deal with this. These people feel it is so easy to pass judgment on something they know nothing about except from what theyve seen from movies and the news.

    As far as offending some people - Im sorry, I just dont give a damn about people who get offended. I dont understand how a job is so offensive to others. As far as Im concerned I like my 'offensive' job.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Its just a stereotype. One of the many incorrect stereotypes. Its a human tradition. A blowhard one.

    Sometimes its jealousy.

  5. #5
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    ^ All of the above.

    I met a former drug dealer who heard the same things from his family. BUT they'd also call him up for loans because they knew he could front them cash.

    My family & friends never turned down money from me even though they knew how I made it. But of course they would flap lips....

    Part of this is misguided "good intentions" & most of it is JEALOUSY!

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    I love calling myself a stripper. I think exotic dancer is a silly way describe our profession. Exotic dancers also include belly dancers, hula dancers, native american dancer and pretty much any dance that is "exotic" as in from distance lands.

    I'm a stripper, and I say it proudly. Exotic dancer is like saying petrolem distribution engineer.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    You know what, gossip is shameful but that doesn't stop people from buying tabloids or watching tabloid tv. You know before christianity came the human body was not a source of shame. In fact many of the ruins in Rome etc, where the male penis was displayed were trashed by the christians. I'm not an atheist, I'm just stating the truth.

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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    I love calling myself a stripper. I think exotic dancer is a silly way describe our profession. Exotic dancers also include belly dancers, hula dancers, native american dancer and pretty much any dance that is "exotic" as in from distance lands.

    I'm a stripper, and I say it proudly. Exotic dancer is like saying petrolem distribution engineer.

    Erection engineer.

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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Bwah ha ha. Out of ALL the girls we be the hottest...they like the way we break it down.

    PROUD to say STRIPPER right here as well.

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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk
    I just think people looking at us shamefully was just part of the job. If it was so widely excepted then every girl would be doing it. Another reason why the money is not easy - we all work for it on and off the clock. Then even off the clock we have to deal with people saying not so kind things about us; passing judgement and so forth. Any other 'normal' job we wouldnt have to deal with this. These people feel it is so easy to pass judgment on something they know nothing about except from what theyve seen from movies and the news.

    As far as offending some people - Im sorry, I just dont give a damn about people who get offended. I dont understand how a job is so offensive to others. As far as Im concerned I like my 'offensive' job.
    Amen, sista!

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    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by Crow
    Erection engineer.

    I used to have business cards that said i was a "thermodynamic enhancement engineer"!!lolol
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
    -- Anna Nicole Smith

    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
    http://www.myspace.com/cameronkeys (real myspace)

    http://www.myspace.com/sexyhotdancer(work myspace)


    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Now that I am an ex-dancer, I love to hear stories of people cheating, boozing, drugging, lying, stealing the whole lot. Most of these people are not strippers and will probably condem a stripper. Oh if they only knew.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    hehehe, The name says it all...... I've also penned it, Eye Patch Model, Lap Counselor and Erotic Engineer.


    But to go back to the OP, the job itself DOES make people get weird at times.....and it does bother me, but I also understand it a bit. If the human body, especially a woman's wasn't such a mystery then we would be out of a job.....so it's okay for other people to go..."How do you take your clothes off for people?" It just tells me that stripping is still something people want to see, it hasn't grown cold yet.

    BUT, to the people that tell me I could be doing something so much better, I have this to say....

    In what job would I be making the kind of pay that I make now, more than ANY girl working 9-5 at some office, at what job would I be able to set MY OWN hours, take MY OWN time off and spend all the time I want with my son and not have my PAY docked? At what job would I be able to travel to any city and know FOR SURE I would be able to find work within a week? If you can find me THAT job, I'll take it.......




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    God/dess PleasureVictim's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by PookaShell
    Bwah ha ha. Out of ALL the girls we be the hottest...they like the way we break it down.

    PROUD to say STRIPPER right here as well.
    Me too! I love it. When I read or hear people saying negative things- I just tune them out. When I catch myself caring...I have to ask myself, 'Am I living my life for me? Or for others?'

    I know a chick who goes on a rant about being called a 'stripper'. She is an 'entertainer' and won't be called anything else. She says strippers do anything for money while entertainers dance then go home and handle their business.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Has anyone seen that shirt that has an outline of a woman dancing on a pole, and it says "support single moms"? A guy wore to the club and a bunch of the girls were so "offended" by it! I think it's the funniest thing I have seen in a long while!

    And I love stripper jokes....but again, so many get so riled up over this....Hmmmmm.




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    Veteran Member Collegegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    I just say stripper....

    IDK.... I'm the simple type.

    I see no differnece in saying stripper/exotic dancer, janitor/custodian, stewardess/flight attendent , midget/little person.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    seriously, we can say that we can handle the stigma associated with dancing, but I would say the majority of dancers leave the business because of it (directly or indirectly)

    after awhile it becomes a huge burden and I can sense it becoming an issue for me very soon because I want to get married and stuff and it's hard enough to find a nice guy....

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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    I hate living a lie, and that's what this job does to me. It's the single worst thing about it, but like Tigersmilk said, if it weren't so 'shameful', there'd be a lot more competition.

    I hate that I can't be open about my job with my family, but if I want to have a relationship with them, mum's the word. My grandparent's won't be around forever, and while they're here...well, there's a lot of things Oma doesn't know that doesn't hurt her.

    What bothers me is getting hastled by bank tellers and cashiers at clothing stores, or cashiers everywhere for that matter. They ALWAYS grill me about "where I got the cash". What the Hell business is it of theirs? These two Muslim tellers at my branch think I'm this awful whore and always give me nasty looks when I deposit my cash. After endless grilling I straight up told one "I'm a dancer" and now the smug looks are endless. Oh WHATEVER. Lol, I'm making more of it than her!

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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Molly, ask the muslims nicely what they thought about the latest terrosist bombings and if they knew anybody who did that sorta stuff. If they reply that not all muslims are terrorist then say well not all dancers are evil. Enough said.

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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    What irks me is that women stripping is a bad and shameful thing. However male stripping is no big deal, infact some permament shows in Vegas have male strippers. Some of those women condeming us will have no problem going to a male exotic dancer show and do stuff to those men, that would get a man arrested or booted out at a strip club. I was invited to one of those shows way before I was a dancer, and those women were vulgar.

    It's not men condemning dancers it is the women. Jealous women. Men love sexual women.

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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    I think you've got to split this into two halves: professional life and personal life.

    In your professional life you do tend to behave like the stereotypical 'stripper' for the good and simple reason that it's the quickest way to earn. Sit down and say to every guy you dance for - "Well, actually, I'm playing a role and I'm totally different to this in my private life. I'm working my way through university and need money to do so, so I'll pretend to like every guy that wants to see me dance", etc, and your job rapidly becomes impossible.

    Anyone that comes to see you work, be it customer, newspaper reporter or whatever is almost invariably going to take away the classical stereotype of the dancer - they get no chance to see anything else.

    In their private lives most dancers tend to be very careful who they tell what the do for a living - I'll guess that a significant part of a dancer's casual friends and more distant family have no idea of how they earn a living. Which leaves said casual friends and distant family believing in the stereotype because they know no different.

    The only people who have even a hope of even trying to understand a dancer and what stripping really involves are those who see both a dancer's professional and private life - and those by definition are few and far between. Not to mention close family and friends are probably two classes of people you don't want to see you work anyway.

    (I would count several dancers as friends and do spend time with them in their private lives. Yet even on the few occasions they do talk about work (and I've quite literally had one dancer cry on my shoulder a couple of times) I tend to find another of my preconceptions is wrong).

    I think there will always be a stigma involved with dancing - not least because for professional reasons, behaving like the stereotypical 'stripper' tends to maximise your earnings. Unfortunately, maxinising your earnings perpetuates the stigma.

    No easy solution except to say there will always be a small number of people out there (friends, family, etc) who can accept what you do without being judgemental and just treat it as an unorthodox way of earning a living that does not carry a stigma/shame etc.

    All you can do is find the maximum number of people who will be helpful and supportive and try and blank out those who make unfair judgements.

    Phil.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by sassfire
    Molly, ask the muslims nicely what they thought about the latest terrosist bombings and if they knew anybody who did that sorta stuff. If they reply that not all muslims are terrorist then say well not all dancers are evil. Enough said.
    Thats not a bad idea i bet it would make them think.

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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    The "shame" of being a stripper carries with you even after you are done. I am not danceing right now and as proud as i am haveing been a stripper I recently took a voulenteer postion with my hubbys work and I am worried someone will know i was a stripper and look down on me. It sucks becuse i to call it stripping and I am proud of it its just the reality of the world that can get you down.

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    Member Mimi Mae's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Huh. I used to get more shit when I told people I was vegan than when I told them I was a stripper. Even now that I'm a hooker I don't find telling people that to be a problem. Maybe finding out what I do is too much of a headfuck for them to get their shit out, maybe they can see I love my life and don't feel able to challenge me. Perhaps they're being judgemental after all and I'm oblivious.

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    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "shame" of stripping

    Well, if u dont know much about something, you tend to assume things and base your opinon on sterotypes. stripping is pretty unknown, to most people.

    i mean stripping is pretty out there..i mean , your taking off your clothes for your JOB! your job is to be SEXY. how crazy and exciting is that, compared to say, answering phones while siitting on your ass all day?

    i dont care what people say. im proud that im a stripper. im glad i can do this for a living!

    of course people i know will talk...i "shouldnt degrade myself", i shouldnt have to deal with "perverts", shouldn't have to "Take my clothes off for money" "you might get tempted to start prosituting". etc etc etc.

    first of all, its only degrading if you let it...all girls deal with perverts, weither they are a stripper or not. taking off my clothes is the easiest/funnest/most liberating thing and i get paid for it...and being a hooker is different that being a stripper...and just because you are a stripper, doesnt mean automaticaly you're going to turn into a hooker.

    but you know, we are just a sterotype. the only time u hear about strippers is when they are drug addicted, whores, messed up, etc etc.

    but you know, being a stripper takes some guts. it takes a specail kind of girl who can handle this kind of stuff.

    i tell my friends about this, most of them who dont know a thing about stripping. but i corrected them. now theyre view about strippers are a bit different.

    same with my boyfriend.

    but you know, you just have to live your own life. live and let live. i thnk people who judge me make me wanna do it more. subconciously to rebel and prove them wrong.

    i guess it just sounds too good to be true, making hundrends or thousand a NIGHT, for simply being sexy and taking off your clothes.people just dont understand it! its nuts! shit, i didnt until i started reading threads over here and tried it for myself haha!
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