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Thread: Kat Plays the World Teeniest, most whiny broken violin-Advice Please

  1. #1
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Kat Plays the World Teeniest, most whiny broken violin-Advice Please

    Do you think a friendship and working relationship can last between two people who can't be together yet are strongly attracted to one another?

    I've mentioned baldypaunch guy in a few threads before. We work together often, and he has a girlfriend. In addition to having clients together, we go for lunch on occasion. He isn't happy with the girlfriend but he isn't going to break up with her. He wants us to have our friendship, yet I find myself coming onto him, he resists initially. Eventually he can't fight my charms and gives in. But that's it. I don't want him for sex. I love him. I know we arent going to be together.

    He thinks we can still maintain our friendship and hang out if we are both disciplined. I can't avoid him at work, and wouldn't want to. When its time to be professional we are professional. (Well except when I sacked him in the hallway for throwing a rubber ball at my head, but I digress...)

    What should I do? Can we both be strong and stay friends? We keep trying this but it ends up hurting me. He says it hurts him too, he likes me, blah blah blah. Honestlty, he's been better about it than I have these last few months. I am definately the aggressor for the most part. Thus, I guess I just can't help myself. But I'm a grown woman, and we do have a great friendship. His girlfriend is very nice, and we are on very good terms, she is my massage therapist.

    Tangled web n shit.....

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  2. #2
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Kat Plays the World Teeniest, most whiny broken violin-Advice Please

    Damn. What's his magic appeal, Kat? Meantime, some advice: If you keep in close proximity to him, the feelings will continue. Someone has to quit or die. Another solution would be to find yourself a romantic object (outside the workplace woman!) and transfer your feelings to that man/woman. I've been in your situation at least once, and it was heartbreaking, unfulfilling and, yes, highly romantic (wanting the one that we cannot have--such a good plot line).

    Hope you navigate your way through it, Kat. Best of luck.

  3. #3
    Sitri
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    Default Re: Kat Plays the World Teeniest, most whiny broken violin-Advice Please

    Hey you already know the answer but I need typing practice.

    If you are implying or thinking about going farther than friend... don't do it.

    Oh, let me add... don't do it.

    No good will come of it. You have worked too hard to let this mess up everything you have accomplished recently.

    You will be hurt even more if it goes farther.

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    Default Re: Kat Plays the World Teeniest, most whiny broken violin-Advice Please

    I agree with Sitri, Kat.

    I think I'll come steal you and bring you home with me!

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kat Plays the World Teeniest, most whiny broken violin-Advice Please

    you're too close to him and this situation to avoid being hurt. You already said you keep getting hurt, so you're probably not going to learn how to make it work.

    However, there is a chance that given enough distance, and a little time, and moving on-- you CAN be friends with him. It's not a given, but can only happen after you move on.

    I think you're not asking "can we be friends?" you're asking, "can I make him love me enough to pursue me, leave his girlfriend, et. al.?"

    You already answered the second question. And if the second question's answer is no, then the first question's answer is too, at least for now.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kat Plays the World Teeniest, most whiny broken violin-Advice Please

    Awwww, you're so sweet! Its a shame, we would be so good together. I don't know what it isl, he only lasts about 5 seconds during sex. I can't put my finger on it. The chemistry has just been ridiculous, for a year now! We hang out and talk all the time, everyone at work has suspected us at one time or another. Its no big deal, we are all young and good looking financial hotshots, inter-office incest is inevitable. But dammit, he doesn't live with her, isn't attracted to her, we love each other's company. Why won't he just let go???

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: Kat Plays the World Teeniest, most whiny broken violin-Advice Please

    ^ God, it is a shame. You're not a girl, in the long run, who is going to put up with a guy who lasts 5 seconds in bed. (Five seconds?) At the end of the day, you're a 5-hour girl with the intensity of a Shuttle launch, and you should be damn proud of it.

    How much of the appeal to you is the competition with the girlfriend? You love the guy, but can't have him, which may be why you are the aggressor right now.

    My guess is that you are totally in love with his mind. God, I have been there. No, God, I am there, although it is slowly destroying me, with no defense at all. Isn't it more powerful than you ever expected?

    If he ever became available, though, some of the attraction could fade quickly.

    Oh, sorry, answer to the first question: If you are madly attracted to each other, can you be friends only? Answer: A very painful and heartbreaking "no."

  8. #8
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Kat Plays the World Teeniest, most whiny broken violin-Advice Please

    We should also recognize that it is possible to love someone, deeply connect with someone, you cannot be with for one reason or another. Sad but true.

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kat Plays the World Teeniest, most whiny broken violin-Advice Please

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner
    ^ God, it is a shame. You're not a girl, in the long run, who is going to put up with a guy who lasts 5 seconds in bed. (Five seconds?) At the end of the day, you're a 5-hour girl with the intensity of a Shuttle launch, and you should be damn proud of it.

    How much of the appeal to you is the competition with the girlfriend? You love the guy, but can't have him, which may be why you are the aggressor right now.

    My guess is that you are totally in love with his mind. God, I have been there. No, God, I am there, although it is slowly destroying me, with no defense at all. Isn't it more powerful than you ever expected?

    If he ever became available, though, some of the attraction could fade quickly.

    Oh, sorry, answer to the first question: If you are madly attracted to each other, can you be friends only? Answer: A very painful and heartbreaking "no."
    Excellent insight !
    My new love...is me !

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