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Thread: Dreading and drained...

  1. #1
    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Dreading and drained...

    hi!

    so ive been working for about a month now...way better $$$ than ever before. it used to be straining PHYSICALLY, but now i dont get any more muscle pains, bruises and those clear heels are comfty now. however, i do feel drained EMOTIONALLY for some reason. llike, sometimes i really dont feel like dressing up, playing sex goddess, pretending i like every man i meet, and dealing with gropey pervs. i guess im just starting to realize stripping isnt as glamours as i thought it was. i mean, i was a hostess before in a hostess bar...and i had to talk to MORE guys even LONGER, yet i didnt feel that drained as i do now. maybe i feel drained more because of the guys trying to grope me? because everytime they get a little touch, i feel completly violated. latley ive been DREADING to go into work. i mean, i dont know WHY im complaining, i only work three days a week. but thats just how i feel.

    lately it has been kind of slow...but i heard it was slow from now until after xmas..is that true?

    i keep to myself so i dont have any girl-drama...i guess im just a little discouraged because its been kind of slow lately.

    any kind words/advice?
    thanks so much!!!
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  2. #2
    Veteran Member heavenlyheidi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreading and drained...

    hey girl,

    i know how you feel. i have been dancing for about a month also. i dont have gropey guys but i think i get anxiety becuase you know there is always the chance there is going to be some jackass to say or do something rude. by the end of the night my feet are exhausted and i count up all my money and im just exhausted!!

    that is why it is a means to an end...just do this to pay bills but have a bigger plan..that is my plan...

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreading and drained...

    I just made a thread about taking a day off to recharge... I used to work as a hostess, too... and yea... I had the same thoughts. Wondering why it wasn't as draining. I think it's because the guys aren't trying to take peices of you when you're a hostess... it's easier to guard your boundaries (if someone grabs your ass in a restaurant, they're probably going to face WAY more hell), your paycheck isn't as reliant on dealing with that crap, either.

    What else do you do? You only work three days a week... do you go to school? Work another job? If so, you might need to take an extra day off every once in a while... Sometimes people need a full day to just do NOTHING.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: Dreading and drained...

    Sometime you don't realize you're putting a lot of energy into making a guy's fantasy come true. That can be emotionally draining.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Sad Sally's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreading and drained...

    Windy, what club do you work at in Honolulu? I used to work there. Why are guys getting gropey with you? Lapdancing is illegal in Hawaii.

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    God/dess Mare's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreading and drained...

    Among the nightly usual suspects there are such things as psychic vampires. People that just drain your energy. It used to happen to me more often,but I think since i now try to have fun at work it is less of a problem. Or maybe there is just empty space and nothing to suck.hehe

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    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreading and drained...

    I feel you! Lately I've been putting up with a lot more BS than usual and ugggh...drained is an understatement...and fuck I do NOT want to have to go in today!! Unfortunately I have to. It'll be my 5th day in a row. All we can do is hang in there and appreciate we have the ability to make the money we do.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreading and drained...

    Yep, have been in the same boat here too. There are nights where jsut putting on my make-up feels like I am preparing myself for some sort of puishment...I drag my heels, I wander around 'looking for something' that I never find, then I wind up either being too late to go into work....mission accomplished.

    I talked to my hubby about the problem, about not wanting to be there, the anxiety of even approaching guys because he could be "that a-hole". His advice to me was to let it out once and a while. When a guy tries to (or manages to) cop a feel to just let him have it, both barrels. It wont take back what he did but it will make me feel better for standing up for myself and not jsut swallowing it all the time. Because you eventually eat enough crap and you start to feel like shit.

    So that's what I did, and it HAS helped. I feel better and more in control, I don't go overboard but I will tell a guy he's being an ass when it's appropriate. I feel more powerful, therefore I feel sexy again (I was starting to lose that!). So maybe try letting it out now and then...give a little back instead of taking it all. Hope it helps.
    ~B




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  10. #9
    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreading and drained...

    thanks everyone.

    oh and bella..i was a hostess at a strip club...like we get the guys to buy us 20 dollar drinks ,and u have to sit and talk with them? you knwo what i mean? i do go 2 skool but only 2 days a week. on my days off i try 2 do somethin 2 have fun, but ur right, i shud jus take an easy some days.

    anyways, oh and sad sally, yeah i know lapdancing is illegal..but mostly strip clubs have a thing called "private shows" or "private dances".
    basically like an airdance....in a private booth, however im sure girls break the rules..

    anyways, exoticenginer, that sounds like a great idea. cuz sometimes wen guys try 2 touch my boobs(and sort of get away with a little brush) i jus let it slide..i jus go "hey." and thats all..but i keep goin cuz i still want their $$$....but some guys who i know are cheapskates, i shud just be a bitch to them! let it out! good idea! yea sometimes i jus keep it all in and i feel so...like a pushover. u know?

    oh and Sc0101 it IS draining to be a guys fantasy!

    well thanks everyone for the advice so far. i hope u other gals will feel better from being drained too!
    Last edited by Windy; 11-03-2006 at 07:54 PM.
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    Senior Member Sad Sally's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreading and drained...

    I worked at Femme Nu. They pay you! Plus no private dances. You make all your money on stage or selling ladies drinks. The only place you have to worry about a guy touching you is in the pricy champagne room. Go to Femme Nu. They have a morning, afternoon, and night shift. I worked the afternoon shift and made great money. I'll probably be back in Dec.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreading and drained...

    Windy....here is a story for you that might cheer you up and maybe give you some encouragement. This happened a while back

    I was dancing on a friday night, and I was SO pissed off, the guys had all gotten way drunk early in the night and were acting like fools, the good guys had all been scooped up and the smart girls weren't letting them out of thier sight. So we were left with sh*t.

    I was about to go home and call it quits, pissed off and feeling like trash left out in the sun (nasty) when this guy comes up and asks for a dance. I look him over, he's dressed nice, he's being polite and doesn't stink of booze...so I say sure!

    Two seconds into the first song he moves for my crotch with his hand...I grab his hand nicely but firmly and say "Nope, that's for ME to touch, not you." and smile...Then he treis to sneak a feel of my tits, over and over again.....so I tell him, you need to knock it off right now or I am ending this dance. "Sorry, sorry...."

    So, almost to the end of the song (the longest song ever!) and he grabs my hand and puts it on his dick! "What the hell do you think you are doing????!!!!" I yell at him.

    He gets this totally confused look on his face and says "You won't touch my d*ck?"

    I say "No, I wont touch you, this is over....you need to pay me now." I had kept my cool the whole night, I had been the SSS (Super Sweet Stripper) all night, and my Bull Sh*t meter just peeked.

    He asks me how much he owes me. I say "10 for the dance and a 10 dollar asshole fee."

    He says "A what?". "You owe me ten for the dance and you should tip me for trying to make me touch your teeny pecker."

    "If I tip you, you'll touch my d*ck then?" Oh. My. God.
    "No, I will not touch you.....are you going to tip me or not?"
    He says. "Bring me my change." and hands me a 20......... "Are you SURE you don't want to tip me?"
    He says "Yep, I'm sure, bring me back my ten." Hmmmm....."K, last chance, are you SUUUURE you don't want to tip me?"

    "Just bring me back my F*CKING change!"

    So I smile...."Sure!"

    I walk by the bouncer and inform him that I am about to be VERY bitchy....... I go to the bar and hand her the twenty and ask for a 10 and two 5's.

    On my way back to the bacteria in the chair I am happily tearing the two 5's into itty bitty pieces.....He holds out his hand (perfect!) and I sprinkle the money into his palm.

    *GASP!* "What happened to my money?!"

    *Batting eyes* "Gee, I don't know, it just came that way! But ya know, you're so good with your hands, I bet you could tape it all together in no time! Have a good night!"


    Yah, I may not have made a scene, and I still didn't get tipped, and he was a total prick, but damn that made me feel good!




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  14. #12
    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreading and drained...

    exoticengineer - hey great story! i guess it "pays"(maybe not literally) to be a bitch to the very rude customers. to let out yer anger, i suppose!

    and yeah, like someone said(i cant find it now) u cud jus say lets pay now so we can focous on the dance first!

    thanks!
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  15. #13
    Kaiyla
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    Default Re: Dreading and drained...

    Personally, I'd take a break now and get all revved up for the christmas season. Whenever I went on stripping haitus (even if only for a week), I'd always return with renwed energy and positivity, which in turn would always result in more $$$$.
    For me, working less shifts (3-4 a week) made more more money than working tons of shifts back to back. I'd always end up bitchy and customers picked up on it immediately. These guys take a LOT of patience and to be armed with it, you have to make sure that you're taking care of yourself (emotionally) first. Break now, get ahead for the "good season."

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