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Thread: Today on Mast TV

  1. #1
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Today on Mast TV

    We're going to make.... An Omelette.

    *cues evil music*

    IN THIS CORNER, From STRIPAR WEEEB, FIVE FOOR EEEELEVAHN, Weighing in at ONEHUNNERD AND SIXTAY TWOOO POUNDS... MAST REEE DON ICUSSSSSS
    *chirp chirp*


    AND IN THIS CORNER

    A TRIPPLE TEAM FROM THE SOUTH. PEPPARS....EGGGGG BEEETARS....AND HAM STEAKS Accompanied by their coach:

    http://www.pineapple-girl.com/omelet.htm



    *Ding Ding*
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    Mast notes the age of the peppers. Decides to gamble on their health
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    ok
    egg beaters cook a LOT faster than expected

    Do not WAIT to realize you only have the george forman spatula
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    holy shit! I forgot CHEESE!
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    Oh BITCH.... The thing split during the flip.

    OMELETTE 1 Mast 0
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    ok, I think I did well this time, but due to an overt amount of bodily injury in the process, (like catching the towel on fire cause I laid it over the electric burners while putting the omelette on the plate), I'd just probably default to the omelette....especially with my questional ability to have a full recovery...
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV



    You're such a fruitcake. LOL

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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    A tip: Instead of using milk, use hot water, it makes the omelettes more fluffy. Also, put cheeze in right after you pour the eggs in and it makes cheezy eggs, very yummy.

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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    Actually milk is for fluffy scrambled eggs. For an omelet you want to use crazy cold water and then whip the shit out of them. The cold thickens them and the whipping works in the little air bubbles that makes it fluffy.



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    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    You're nuts. What'd ya have to drink with that omelet, whiskey?
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    There is an easier way to make an omlette. IHOP makes a pretty good one... and you won't start a fire

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess


    You're such a fruitcake. LOL
    Hah! That's in two weeks!

    Seriously... I just bought my first real spatula at the dollar store. I burnt my knuckles to FUCK trying to flip that thing using the forman standard spatch.


    A tip: Instead of using milk, use hot water, it makes the omelettes more fluffy. Also, put cheeze in right after you pour the eggs in and it makes cheezy eggs, very yummy.
    Interesting. I just used egg beaters and poured em on the skillet. I was thinking that...then well... no cheese But otherwise I will definitely try that! I <3 omelettes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirona
    Actually milk is for fluffy scrambled eggs. For an omelet you want to use crazy cold water and then whip the shit out of them. The cold thickens them and the whipping works in the little air bubbles that makes it fluffy.
    I had the egg beaters carton in the fridge... same thing? I mean it was fluffy, but the forman spatch and my instinctual genius to just "grab" at it tore it all to hell... I think I had a omlette salad by the time I was done... Yummy though!

    Quote Originally Posted by sxybrat07
    You're nuts. What'd ya have to drink with that omelet, whiskey?
    A warm glass of SHUT THE HELL UP.

    Quote Originally Posted by wakko0129
    There is an easier way to make an omlette. IHOP makes a pretty good one... and you won't start a fire
    No IHOPs.

    It's a travesty. It is. I love that damn place.


    OH

    And for you NON BELIEVERS Look Here
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  13. #13
    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    Omlete's are tricky beasts... not tearing them can take practice is all.

    I cook. A lot. Like it's one of my favorite things to do (god i'm going to be one of those grammies who cooks for like her whole family every Sunday *sigh*) and i've made bucketloads of omelets and I still tear them.

    Maybe egg beaters are different though? I've never used 'em personally.



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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    Egg beaters aren't different, you still want to add a dab of water or milk, only not as much. They should still be seasoned and stirred though.
    Do make sure your smoke detectors work...if you didn't find that out already!

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    Oh yea... they went off, just before I had to put the hand towel out.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    Message from "God" to Mast: Thou shall not cook.

    Seriously, youre going to fall asleep with some nuggets in the oven and wake up on fire one day if you keep cooking like this LOL.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  17. #17
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk
    Message from "God" to Mast: Thou shall not cook.

    Seriously, youre going to fall asleep with some nuggets in the oven and wake up on fire one day if you keep cooking like this LOL.

    And Baby, It would blow your mind.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    Message from "God" amended: Thou shalt look into courses on basic kitchen safety before attempting anything strenuous. This should cover things like placement of flammable fabrics, testing of cooking surfaces with your fingers, etc.

    Don't feel too bad about flipping the omelet (ooh, that sounds rather . . . suggestive). It's a master stroke - and all in the wrist (uh . . . yeah). Anyhow, I was mesmerized in the buffet line on a cruise this summer by the cook in the custom-omelet line. He had two pans going constantly and was some kind of Zen master about it. Amazing to watch the whole process over and over again:

    1. Spray nonstick pan
    2. Ladle in eggs (or egg whites, in the case of my order)
    3. Allow bottom to set a bit
    4. Sprinkle desired veggies in, allow to set more
    5. Aaaaaand . . . THE FLIP!
    6. Set side two (very little time needed)
    7. Sprinkle cheese, if using, on top
    8. Finally, use spatula* to fold in half.
    9. Serve with smile!


    *Note that step 8 is the only point in which a spatula is needed. And what is this George Foreman spatula that is so deficient, anyway?

    Finally, experience does not necessarily exempt one from kitchen injury. Just two days ago I grabbed the same screamin' hot jelly roll pan with my bare hands not once, not twice, but THRICE. *shakes head* Absent-mindedness, kids.
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    George ForEman Spatula. On left

    Thanks for the info though. Imma try this next saturday. Now I'm working on an apartment and about to put on the Iron Mast cap for some Organic Flax Oil Waffles... or as TM would say, CUNT WAFFLES.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    ^^^ That right there? Is not a spatula. That is a spork. No wonder you were having trouble!
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    Mast you best be workin on your cooking skills, how you gonna get a lady to come home with you if you can't even cook her breakfast?? Though watching you cook could be a hell of a lot more entertaining than eating I suppose.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  22. #22
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    You know, there's a reason why I deem my kitchen "the labratory".


    I hereby challenge Mast to a "Rusty Chef" competition, (sort of like Iron Chef except well...the food sucks). Both contestants concoctions will be donated to the local shelter in an effort keep the homeless population under control. Fellow SW'ers will determine the winner by fewest fatalities (or most fatalities if they want to be kinky).

    Mast, just remember rule of bachelorhood #33: "The Microwave Is My Friend". Pathetic as it sounds, its still safer than poisoning a lady friend or burning your house down while trying.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  23. #23
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Today on Mast TV

    Quote Originally Posted by sxybrat07
    Mast you best be workin on your cooking skills, how you gonna get a lady to come home with you if you can't even cook her breakfast?? Though watching you cook could be a hell of a lot more entertaining than eating I suppose.
    If an unlucky contestant of the show wins the runner up prize of coming home (most elect to just have the board game) with me, I'll bet on the latter.

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish
    You know, there's a reason why I deem my kitchen "the labratory".


    I hereby challenge Mast to a "Rusty Chef" competition, (sort of like Iron Chef except well...the food sucks). Both contestants concoctions will be donated to the local shelter in an effort keep the homeless population under control. Fellow SW'ers will determine the winner by fewest fatalities (or most fatalities if they want to be kinky).

    Mast, just remember rule of bachelorhood #33: "The Microwave Is My Friend". Pathetic as it sounds, its still safer than poisoning a lady friend or burning your house down while trying.
    I'm good on the contest, I would hate to put out some talent. Currently I'm discovering all the crazy things I can do with tortilla.

    Lady Friend.

    HA!
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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