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Thread: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

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    Default Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    As far as interracial couples go, has anyone else ever noticed that for every white m/black f couple you see, you see maybe 50 white f/black m couples? I'm a white guy and to me a hot looking woman is a hot looking woman. But there's something about a really great looking black woman. Maybe that's why I've always found white women especially hot when they have a tan

    Just wondering if anyone else has noticed how rare it seems to be to see white men with black women, compared to white women with black men. May dad told me he was watching an interview on tv and heard this theory: women tend to be less concerned about being judged for who their partner is than men are. Whether this theory has any truth to it or not, it says a lot about our society.

    Just thought I'd throw that out there and see if anyone gives a shit lol.

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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    Who cares?

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    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    Why do you care to know?
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    It is interesting to think about.....especially for me, coming from the south where race relations can still be strained (and that's going both ways). As long as the person posing the question doesn't have an agenda (and I'm assuming "daredevil" does not), it's just an interesting question! Reminds me of my sociology class actually.

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    Veteran Member JennyDahl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    Yeah but the theory his dad mentioned doesn't make sense because there is a women in both relationships and a man in both relationships ......do you see where I am going ??

    It takes a strong white man to date a black women ( in my opinion) because he is going to get so much teasing from black men , it may seem intimidating to him . Plus black women are strong confident women ( also in my opinion) I would think that in itself would be intimidating to a white man because in most European cultures the man is the head of the household and there for the dominant one


    It shouldn't matter anyways , the only way people are ever going to get over the idea of race is when they stop talking about it and stop thinking about it and just live your life and let others live theirs ......just let it go
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    I personally believe there are most white women with black mens simply because the two don't give a dam! If there is an attraction they go for it. Hell, it's just like when I work at the club. Do you know how many white guys tell me they have a secret "thing" for black women but have never dated one? In their mind they think black women dont' find them attractive which is ridiculous. Like I tell them, "I date whomever treats me good, I dont' see color"

    If a white guy would start standing up and just telling the dam girl that he likes her then maybe things would change. I'm all for mixing baby..







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    Member Valnice's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    Not sure this is true. I think that it is not.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    it's even more disportionate among asians and whites.

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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    it's even more disportionate among asians and whites.
    Because white women won't go out with someone shorter than themselves? One of my cousins is 6'2" tall. I shit you not. As soon as she found a guy 6'5" she married him. Their babies are going to be like fucking giants.

    My family is inter-racial. It has been black men marrying white women.

    I came close to getting regular with a black woman, but she clicked out a bunch of drama like she was on a TV show or something and I distanced myself.

    Oh man she was fuckable. Just couldn't consider the thought of living with her. Unfortunately this applies to a lot of white women too - lotta feelings of entitlement out there. They would rather force money being spent on them than on the future.

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    Veteran Member Danielle_'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    My father's mentioned this to me, but I also think it's more regional. When I visit my sister I see a lot of vice versa too. For me I don't care what race you are, I'm attracted to the individual.

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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    I once heard from a black guy that the reason some of them go for white girls is because they're easier to get and get along with compared to black women because black women are too strong and independent (or "too much to handle") for them.. but who knows.. he could've just been making that up

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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    All I know is I am more woman than any ya'll and more man than you'll ever get!

    *snap snap snap*

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    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    LOL Mast , I have known certain black woman. Who do not want to marry out of thier race. They believe they will live a boring life if so! Or they believe that the white man penis will be small, or she will be to embarss to show him to her family. She will be afraid that her family will make fun if her and him togethier! I advise every one to wacth the movie "Something New". It should be at your local Block Buster. I have known black men to date white woman for the reason stated earlier. But not to many black man agree with that statement. Especially ones from the south. I was told by severval black men. They do it because they where told they could not have a white woman. That white woman was of another class they could not be in. I remember one professor whom said he regretted the decision, he made a long time ago. He married a woman because she was white. Because it was so taboo in the south to marry a white woman. I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS WHY BLACK MEN MARRY WHITE WOMAN. I believe that a person should marries because of love. Love has no color. Love as no shape. My brother is married to a white woman. He marry her because she completed him! I have been known to date white men. When we use to walk down the streets. We would get stares each time. I would express my discomfort to them about the stares. Nobody stares at a white woman with a black men. Why should we be so differant? I had started a post about this a while back. I also want to state, sometimes when a white man comes on to me. He says the wrong thing? Such as, I have never been attracted to a black woman. It must be your other race I am atrracted to.

    But why certain white men, do not choose to date black women in public. I have no idea. I view each and every person as an indivual. I know since black women have been in the States. White men have been having sex with them! Why white men love or desire for black women has to be a secret. If I am destine to be with an asian man. It will not matter because He will be my other half and we would love each other. Maybe it has something to do with learn behavior!

    If we stop looking a people race just maybe we would not be so divided! Also a good movie to look at is " Guess Who".
    Last edited by leilanicandy; 11-05-2006 at 10:56 AM.
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    I think part of it also comes back to the old 'bad boy' thing. Many women love 'bad boys' and if a guy is black they will automatically put him into the 'bad boy' category (whether he's really a 'bad boy' or not). A rather simplistic explanation I know but I think there is some truth to it. I also find it interesting that many of the bars/clubs that I visit around here typically have a lot of black men at them (and very few black women), I'm assuming they are there to meet white women, I'm also assuming they are there because it is much easier for them to pick up a white woman than it is for them to pick up a black woman. I can't say that I blame them, if I could go into a bar/club full of black women and have no trouble picking up a black woman you'd better believe I'd be doing so.

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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    I think its interesting.

    my attempts at theorizing:
    1) perhaps men being more visually oriented and the US having more whites and more white women sexualized in the media, a black man is more likely to be attracted to a white woman than a white man to a black woman.

    2) since black men are more likely to be attracted to a larger women, a larger white woman is more likely to connect to a black man.

    3) have seen press about successful black men marrying white women (clarence thomas, athletes). perhaps being a successful man and having options with women and the country having more white women, leads to an increased chance a black man would marry a white woman.

    4) perhaps (i could be wrong about this) because black women on average are slightly larger weight wise, they (on average) have selectively narrowed their marriage prospects to black men.

    I could come up with more.

    I apologize for any/all of my assumptions and guesses. If it helps, not black or white.
    Last edited by space_Cadet_28; 11-05-2006 at 07:27 PM.

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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    A lot of the white businessmen that come into my club seem to prefer black women, especiall ythe older guys. And a lot of the black customers like white women. SO in the clubs it goes either way. i never gave it any thought outside the club in the context of relationships.

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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    Funny, I've never dated a white guy, but my friends and co-workers, even relatively new acquaintences look at me and assume that I date white guys or predict that I will! I don't know why, perhaps b/c I'm relatively tall, thin, light, and bubbly? Some even say "well spoken?" I've had a couple of white guy friends, don't get me wrong, but no one has ever approached me with intentions of having a relationship. They just wanted realtions. haha I can only speak for myself as a woman of color when I say that I would be open to dating white men if I was approached more often. Unfortunately, I would probably always wonder why he really wanted to be with me in the back of my head. Is it because he just likes me/my personality? Is it because 'exotic' is what really turns him on? Does he expect me to fit the stereotypical image that's advertised in the media (ads, videos, sitcoms, comercials, radio, talk showss)? Is it because he has low self-esteem and is fed up with white women? Is it because...because..because... You get the idea. He would really have to prove himeself to me. My hometown is very segregated, and so even though I'm in a diverse area now, I can't get away from thinking along the lines of "I know how it really is..." or deep down, I would brace myself for that racial epithet when things got thick....Um, err I help this makes for interesting conversation at least
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    ^^^^I gotta say, in six years with an Italian and three years with a Pole we had arguements but race never came up. All I heard was "you're wrong" "No, you're wrong" "No, you're wrong. So fuck you and the horse ya rode in on!!" <my favorite curse>

    Don't let steroetypical crap disuade you.

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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    I've dated plenty of white guys b4. My older sister dates only white men. My older brother (technically step-brother) is engaged to a white woman (they've been together for about 10 years), and they just had a son together too. I see nothing strange about interracial couples; in fact, I like seeing interracial couples.

    I see Alani's point though. Some of the white guys I've dated made reference to our racial differences too much. I can't stand that b/c it makes me feel like I'm just a novelty to them. Others (very obviously) try way too hard to be "ghetto" or act "hood" around me, which drives me even crazier because in no way am I "hood", and being "hood" doesn't have to do with race, but rather one's environment. I don't mind white guys being "hood" if it's what comes naturally to them, but if it's not natural, why bother doing it.

    Other white guys that I've dated have been normal. They acted like themselves and never made reference to our racial differences. Everyone is the same to me, color makes no difference, so I prefer to date someone with the same theory, no matter what race they are.

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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    Quote Originally Posted by greggy
    Some of the white guys I've dated made reference to our racial differences too much. I can't stand that b/c it makes me feel like I'm just a novelty to them. Others (very obviously) try way too hard to be "ghetto" or act "hood" around me, which drives me even crazier because in no way am I "hood", and being "hood" doesn't have to do with race, but rather one's environment. I don't mind white guys being "hood" if it's what comes naturally to them, but if it's not natural, why bother doing it.
    Amen, amen!!! I have had the SAME SAME SAME experience when I dated white guys/met white guys in a (non go-go) bar or other social setting. The higher a black person goes up the social/educational ladder, the fewer choices we seem to have. I am the ONLY, I repeat ONLY Black/Latina woman in the Master's program at my school, there are no men; and I was the one of FOUR black WOMEN in my 1L (first year law) class. It is a bit disheartening because you start to think that you have one of two options really: 1) you can be exoticized and more than likely unfulfilled b/c you're not really loved by your white SO (not saying that's the case, it's just how I began to feel); Or 2) you can "trade down" to someone not necessarily on your level, or exposed to the same tastes, and constantly have to stroke your man's ego/worry about not getting a black/Latin guy because "you think you're too good" or you're a "comemierda" (Spanish equivalent).

    Thankfully I don't usually feel that way anymore, but I definitely worried about the future at one point. Now I just let go and let God.
    Last edited by francescadubois; 11-13-2006 at 11:10 PM. Reason: left out key word
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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    This thread is Deja Vu to me.

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    Veteran Member slutty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    Quote Originally Posted by leilanicandy
    Why do you care to know?


    um, maybe he just wants to.
    the slutty one

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    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    Quote Originally Posted by slutty
    um, maybe he just wants to.

    I was not asking that question to be mean. I was just wanted to know why?
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    Veteran Member TheLioness's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    Quote Originally Posted by leilanicandy
    If we stop looking a people race just maybe we would not be so divided! Also a good movie to look at is " Guess Who".
    I loved that movie lol, I watch it every time it's on and it cracks me up every time

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    Default Re: Why so many more white women with black men, than vice versa?

    I find that white men often feel that black women are out of thier league, and in most cases its the man that initiates the relationship.

    Black women will just be approached less based on that fact.

    No white guys ever approached me until college--and none of them wanted a relationship, they just wanted sex (which could have been with anyone). Since then, I can recall only a few that have appraoched me cold on the street.
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