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Thread: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    Women have heard guys say over and over, how hard it is to approach women. Men say that it is nerve racking and they will never know how the girl will respond. The female may accept or laugh in your face. Now that we are dancers and the situation is reversed, do you understand the problems men have with approaching women? I think that men know that in the strip clubs, they are the ones who can do the rejecting and the women has to do the sweating.

    I figured out that approaching people is not easy the first day I started working. Sure in time you get better at it, but I still got nervous for the first few seconds.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    At least as a dancer in the club, when you hear 'no', you don't have to take it personally.... sure, you may, but you probably realize you shouldn't... he may not have any money, he may be a cheap bastard, whatever.... but at least it's business and just a lost sale.

    When you are approaching someone in your personal life, it really is personal.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    No. My stress in the club is at least partially financial. Being rejected on a personal level - as has happened a couple of times - is not a big deal.

    Ultimately I say no to guys for a lot of reasons, and very few of them are "Oh my god. I can't even believe you thought I would let you even get near me, let alone put your tongue in my mouth. What could you have been thinking?" Mostly, I'm flattered but uninterested for whatever reason. I see no reason to think that the average guy would think of me any differently.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Member GURU OF $IN's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    I like picking up strippers.

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    ^^ Check out Don Juan

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    I like picking up $100 bills on the sidewalk.

    ...and ice cream.

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    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    Quote Originally Posted by GURU OF $IN
    I like picking up strippers.
    Yes, they're often small and thin, so it's easy.

    I hurt my back trying to pick up one of the heavy ones, though.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    Quote Originally Posted by sassfire
    I think that men know that in the strip clubs, they are the ones who can do the rejecting and the women has to do the sweating.
    I suppose if someone wanted to go to a strip club for the purpose of avenging real life rejection they probably could, but if that were the primary purpose of strip clubs you girls wouldn't make the money you do.

    I will say that it is nice to be in an enviroment where I get to be selective, but for the record, you ladies generally get to choose whom you work with as much as we get to choose whom to buy from. In either case, I don't think any of us intend any ill will towards those whom we don't select. Its more the matter of a competing option offering a better deal for our money (or for your time).
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Senior Member WhiteTara's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    I can't take it personally when a customer doesn't want to dance with me. If I did, I couldn't do this job!

    But if the customers who ask me out were a good representative sample of single male-dom, I'd be amazed that any woman would go out with any man. The social ineptitude, the levels of self-deception, the delusions of grandeur or low self-esteem...If I didn't laugh, it would be horribly depressing.

    Fortunately, the club isn't the world in miniature. Whew!

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    Veteran Member Danielle_'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    I get nervous trying to hit on guys unless I'm drunk (fyi, I'm not a stripper yet). In fact there was a guy I wanted to give my # to today & I chickened out. So I think that girls can be just as nervous in the regular world as guys.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    I don't make the connection between men approaching women in real life and strippers approaching customers. One is personal, one is business. Two completely different situations. As a stripper you have to realize that the rejection we face is NOT personal - otherwise you'll never be very successful.

    Regarding the men feeling all stressed when approaching women, I guess I don't really get that either. I think they shouldn't take that personally either - there's a million reasons a woman might turn a guy down, none of which really have anything to do with him.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    Well before I danced, I did sorta feel guilty for telling a guy that I wasn't interested. I would add in the "I'm sorry, but I'm really not interested. Sorry about that." Notice the repeating sorry? Why should I have to apologize to him. After working as a dancer, I would say no thanks with no apologies. Yes, I could of learned that without dancing, but I learned it after being a dancer.

    I don't think it is true that dancers don't take rejection personal. I have seen several times when a custy has made a dancer cry after saying something to her. What he said, I don't know, but whatever it was upset them. Of course our job is all about rejection and selection. Our rejection and selection is all tied up into how much a dancer will earn for the day.

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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now do you understand the dilemma men have?

    By the way, I was refering to the intial approaching of a custy. Sure they may reject you, but you still have to approach to be rejected. I've had male custy suggest to me (when I was new) how to approach a custy, or who to approach. Amazingly some of their advice works. I do give guys a little more respect though when they do approach me in real life now. Asking somewhat out isn't easy nor is hustling. Not the same thing, but both isn't a peice of cake.

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