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Thread: Parents and stripping

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    Member DiamondAngel's Avatar
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    Default Parents and stripping

    Hi,
    I am interested in trying out the whole exotic dancing business but I am not sure how to tell me parents. I have told them before but they thought I was joking and just said nodded their heads and laughed. I am not the type to keep secrets because that can get you into to trouble. I do not want to hurt my mom & dad but at the same time this is something I REALLY am interested in trying. I believe if this is not the job for me and I try then I can always try something different. To be honest I do not know what the big deal is when they BOTH go to stripclubs. I think it would be alright for me to dance since they both go to clubs every so often. They think I am going to get hurt or not be strong enough to handle what I am getting myself into but I believe I will be okay. I know my limits. If someone can give me a little advice on how to handle this situation I would be very greatful.

    Thanks,
    DiamondAngel

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    Veteran Member Danielle_'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    I'm sort of there with you. When I start I'm not gonna tell anyone though. I think my mother would be fine with it, but not my dad. I mentioned to my sister once & she absolutely did not approve.

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    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    hmm..well som,e things u just cant tell parents..i mean its our OWN life. of course u dont wanna hurt them, but u cant hurt your life for them all of the time. i mean parents lie to their kids..bout where babies come from, about the toothfairy, santa, etc...btu they do it in love, you know? so i think not telling yer parents wouldnt be bad. i dont tell my parents...i dont want them to think they brought me up WRONG...because they didnt(well all parents make mistakes, but they did a good enuff job).

    perhaps ur parents dont want u to be a stripper because they see bad exsampels of strippers at the strip clubs they visit. perhaps they see gross men being very rude to the strippers...and pervs trying to grope them. your parents probably just dont want that to happen to you. i mean, usually everyone just see the "stripper sterotype". you know, drug addicted,whore,messed up, etc. they probably just dont wnat u to be like that, even tho u probably wont. im sure they just want the best for you.

    but u gotta live your life, and if dancings is what u wanna do - i say go for it! u only live once. u cud always just tell your parents u are waitressing at a night club, or like a go go girl..like thsoe girls that dance in cages at trendy nightclubs(i know there must be a FEW around! there a couple in my town). or u cud say u started bartending in a nightclub.
    i used to ONLY waitress in a strip club but i didnt even tell my parents it was IN a stripclub..because paretns ALWAYS assume things...and then they'll start thinkin your actually dancing. shit, i even told my b/f i was only waitressing over there, and he kept thinking i was stripping at the club.

    but anyhoo, go with your womans intution. goodluck to you! i knw how it feels!
    [True Passion Demands Respect]
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    Money Makes Me Horny

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    Member DiamondAngel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    Thank You For Your Helpn And Advice- It Is Truly Appreciated!!! ;d

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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    Just me, but, why do you want to, or feel like you have to tell your parents again?

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    Member DiamondAngel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    I dont have to tell them but for some reason I feel like they should know

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    Veteran Member sensuality's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    My advice would be to try it out first. Don't tell them unless/until you know you will be doing it for a while. If you try it and don't like it, then you won't have to go through "disappointing" them for no reason. And if you do like it, then you will have a better idea of what to say to them, since you will form your own opinion on dancing- first hand.
    Good Luck with whatever you decide!
    With all the stupid things guys will say, stay cool.

    "Her apartment is littered with soggy G-strings and cheap 8-inch heeled shoes, along with empty tubes of body glitter, mascara, prescription drugs, zit cream, Aqua Net and Polaroid pictures of her and her "friends" engaged in some drinking and dancing on St. Patrick's Day last year. " My God....

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    Featured Member Glamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    i agree totally ^^^^^^^^^
    A Good Girl With Bad Intentions

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    Newbie moondance's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    How old are you, first of all? I assume you're over 18. If you don't live with them, you're over 18, etc., there is no need to tell them at all. It's your private business. I suggest getting a small "real job" to provide subterfuge, and otherwise just relax into the secret. If you DO live with them, I strongly suggest giving up the idea for now, but I don't have any experience with that kind of thing.

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    Member feria42's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    Mom yes, dad no in my case.
    I Am Conserving Grace For A Later Time.

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    Member Eve21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    You might be surprised. When I told my mom I want to start dancing at first she didn't approve, but then she just asked me why I wanted to dance. I told her why I want to do it, and how much fun I thought it was going to be. Then she threw in a few cautionary tidbits and I explained that I would be fine. Then she told me that she used to dance!!! I about died of shock! lol

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    Member DiamondAngel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    wow- Eve21 thats crazy but funny in a the same way too. In a way ur mom could relate to ur curiosity- thats cool. I will see what happens- ur story made me feel it be alot easier- it give me a sense of strength and courage. Thanks Eve

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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    I dont have to tell them but for some reason I feel like they should know
    Not meaning to cause controversy, but in today's financial world there is an inexorable link between parents and children up until the point where they become 'emancipated' i.e. living on their own. Thus, because of IRS rules regarding dependents, any younger girl who is not actually 'emancipated' but who earns significant amounts of money by dancing, is going to have an effect on the tax obligations of her parents. In the case of younger girls who are both dancers and college students, this 'link' legally extends up to the age of 23. Also, there are huge financial ramifications in regard to applications for gov't benefits such as student loans/grants or anything elses where 'family income' must be reported on the application (i.e. for a 'non-emancipated' girl family income means her parent's income PLUS her income !).

    The point is that any girl who is not emancipated, and who wishes to avoid her parents being unpleasantly 'surprised' when tax time / IRS audits roll around, really has no choice today other than to inform her parents in regard to her dancing and thus to the significant amount of income she is earning.

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    Featured Member MadisonM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    ^^^ That's true. If you are going to claim taxes on your stripping job (which you should) and you claim any deductions, I think your parents can't claim you as a dependant anymore (my parents can't). So maybe try out the job for a couple weeks, and if you decide you're going to stick with it, then tell them. That's what I did- I had been dancing for almost a month before I decided to let them know.
    Take the road less traveled- just make sure you have a map.

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    Member britney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    I havent said anything to my parents. They are paying to send me to college. I just do it for fun and i save most of the cash. They feel that they raised a proper, virgin till marrige, girl. If they found out otherwise, i have no clue what would happen.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    They are paying to send me to college. I just do it for fun and i save most of the cash. They feel that they raised a proper, virgin till marrige, girl. If they found out otherwise, i have no clue what would happen.
    This presents a real dilemma these days. Undoubtedly, you and your parents have filed for gov't student grants and loans with your eligibility depending on total family income. Probably your parents also still claim you as being their dependent on their tax return. If those Pell Grant / Sallie Mae applications were made without your dancing income being included, and if your parents' tax return was prepared without your dancing income being reported / taken into consideration, and if the IRS should discover this fact, not only would both you and your parents be hit with big bills for additional taxes but your past Pell Grant / Sallie Mae money might have to be paid back (if you wouldn't have been eligible if your dancing income was properly reported, then technically speaking both you and your parents would be guilty of defrauding the gov't).

    Now odds are that the IRS will never have a reason to audit you. However, like a recent investigation at Scores, the IRS may have a reason to audit your club or other dancers working at your club ... and in the process gain access to club records showing that dancer X was on the schedule 2 nights a week, or 100 nights last year, and therefore must have earned at least $200 a night (or whatever earnings level is more or less typical for your club as reported on other dancers' tax returns that work at your club) or $20,000 last year.

    The IRS's own records of dancer X's social security number being listed as a dependent on the parents' tax return, no tax return being filed by dancer X, and automatic links to other gov't agencies would undoubtedly turn up the fact that the probable $20,000 was not reported as income, as well as the fact that a Pell Grant was paid was paid to a student with the same social security number ... a Pell Grant that the recipient wasn't legally entitled to had that $20,000 in income been reported as required by law.

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    Featured Member AkashaM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    All of that only matters if she actually claims her money. I have only worked at one club that wanted me to fill out tax forms. If she's living at home, it still can be down low income. Or, she can get a job at burger king and work one day a week just to show something.

    If i lived w/ my fam, and i was dependent on them, i wouldnt even bother to tell them that i danced with tax concerns in mind.
    I'm getting my Dial-A-Stripper service up and running again. If you are in NYC or NJ and are interested in private party dancing, email [email protected] with your SW handle, contact info, photo (if you have one) & best time to call and I'll get back to you asap.

    If you're having a party and need strippers, email me with the details and any questions you have. Thanks!

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    Member DiamondAngel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    THANK YOU EVERYBODY- All your advice and suggestions are such a great help to me. I truly appreciate everyones input.

    Thanks,
    DiamondAngel

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    Veteran Member sensuality's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    Well, I didn't even think about the tax thing, but....
    I had my daughter at 16 and since have not been a dependent for them. I still live with my parents (who now know) and I pay them rent, pay all my bills, and get all my groceries. So I can file as head of household on my tax return

    Be sure to PM me when you try it out!!!! Let me know how everything goes!
    With all the stupid things guys will say, stay cool.

    "Her apartment is littered with soggy G-strings and cheap 8-inch heeled shoes, along with empty tubes of body glitter, mascara, prescription drugs, zit cream, Aqua Net and Polaroid pictures of her and her "friends" engaged in some drinking and dancing on St. Patrick's Day last year. " My God....

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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    At the risk of being a male sticking his oar in, my advice would be to take your time about telling anyone you're a dancer.

    You can always decide it's best to to tell someone a few days later (or not at all), but you can't decide to un-tell them once you've told them.

    How your parents react is going to have a long lasting effect on your life. Best to be sure about how they're going to react before you break the news.

    If you tell them a week later than first intended, you've still told them, and if you decide in that week it's best not to tell them then you've saved them (and you) a lot of grief.

    Phil.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    All of that only matters if she actually claims her money. I have only worked at one club that wanted me to fill out tax forms. If she's living at home, it still can be down low income
    Not wanting to cause controversy again, but WRONG. Yes there is a problem if the dancer reports her earnings to the IRS and her parents' tax return does not jive (i.e. claiming her as a dependent, claiming her tuition payments as a tax deduction). But there is a far bigger problem if the dancer chooses not to report her income, her parents' tax return claims her as a dependent and claims her tuition payments as a tax deduction without including her dancing income, and her parents' Pell Grant application doesn't include her dancing income either.

    Suppose that a particular clubowner does something stupid tax wise, or local politicians/citizens get irate, or some other bullshit provides a reason for the club to be investigated. As part of that investigation/business tax audit, out come dancer employment applications showing real names and SS#'s, and out come dancer schedules showing that the dancer in question was working 2 days a week. The IRS runs a database search on all girls working at the club who HAVE filed tax returns based on the job application SS#'2, cross-references it to the club schedule showing how many nights these girls worked, and arrives at a figure that dancers at this club earn $300 a night on the average. The IRS then concludes that the dancer in question has worked 100 nights a year based on the schedule, thus she must have earned $30,000 last year. The IRS database doesn't show a matching tax return, so they assume that there is probably $30,000 in unreported income involved. If the club schedule showed that the dancer in question had been working for the past two years, implying that she earned $60,000 in unreported income, the IRS will whip off a back tax bill to the dancer in question to the tune of perhaps $20,000 plus penalties and interest.

    It's not over yet ... that same database search for dancer SS#'s turns up a tax return showing the dancer in question listed as a dependent i.e. her parents' tax return. Say the parents had average earnings of $75,000 per year in reported income, with the dancer in question being listed as a dependent plus the dancer's tuition money being listed as a tax deduction. With $30,000 per year in probable unreported income by the dancer in question, versus $75,000 reported income for the parents, there is no way that the dependent deduction will be allowed by the IRS. And with the dependent status revoked, the parents are not entitled to claim tuition payments as a tax deduction. So if this has gone on for a two year period, the parents may get an additional tax bill for $20,000 as well, plus penalties and interest. The parents' tax returns will also be the focus of an IRS audit going back at least three years, which may result in additional taxes for other reasons. But if it's any consolation, the dancer herself would be able to claim the tuition payments made in her name, thus her back tax bill might be reduced to $15,000 instead of $20,000 !

    but it's not over yet ... when the IRS inquiries with the dancer's name and SS# and/or the p arents' names and SS#s start running through the gov't network, all of a sudden the Tuition Grant Agency responds with a Pell Grant application using those SS#'s that was approved based on the parent's $75,000 income alone. Had the dancer's additional $30,000 been added into the application as required by law, she would not have been eligible for the grants. If this went on for two years, and the annual Pell Grant amounted to $4,000, the dancer would get a bill from the Tuition Grant Agency for immediate repayment of $8,000 plus penalties and interest versus her / the parents / both facing charges of 'defrauding the gov't'.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    i will add this in: i have been a dancer for 6 years, and they paid for about half of my college and promised to pay for grad school if i go, but they don't know about stripping. they know i make lots of cash "bartending" at a SC but they don't know more. they also know my best friend is a dancer and she thinks they know, but i say denial is strong. they would not approve, as they sent me to a religious school (jewish) and want me to marry a nice jewish doctor. but they also know im independant and dont care what others think so back to point they do know. either way, we just don't discuss work. it's none of their business since im a 25 y.o grown woman.

    Love it!

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    ^^ my point to you was why must you tell them? it's your life sweet pea

    Love it!

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    Default Re: Parents and stripping

    I'd really think about it before making a decision since there are a lot of factors to consider. I haven't told my my family but I am also completely independent of them.
    I comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.

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