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Thread: How blunt do we have to be?

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    Newbie MrTipsWell's Avatar
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    Default How blunt do we have to be?

    Here's something I've never understood....when a girl is dancing for me and does a move, pose, or position I really like, I'll usually say something like, "Wow, that was awesome...that little move just about took my breath away!". The problem is, no matter where I am or who the dancer is, they never seem to bother to repeat the move that I commented on. Just for the record, I'm fit, clean, young-looking, very respectful both verbally and physically with all dancers (I don't touch even in clubs where it's allowed...it's a respect thing with me), and I tip generously. For example...the other night, a girl did a unique move in VIP where she sat on my lap facing me and put her feet up on my shoulders while she looked me in the eye. I didn't make a move, reacting only by looking back at her and saying something like, "Wow, thanks for that. I can't tell you how much I appreciate THAT little move!" She replied with something like, "Mmmm...good. I like to hear that." But in the two dances that followed, se never did it again. Maybe I should have asked, but frankly, that would have kind of blown it for me, 'cause I like to reward dancers who obviously work hard and pay attention to business. This sort of thing has happened to me a bunch of times, and I shudder to think of the money I'd have parted with had dancers just paid a little more attention. Am I being too shy with my feedback? Do dancers think if they show us too much individualized attention we'll end up thinking we're something extra-special to them? Help a guy out here girls...I'm really into being a good custy.

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    If a girl cant take a hint then you might just have to ask or tell her. Such as "That move was cool do it again" would work well. Some dancers just cant take a hint.
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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    well, two possible reasons:

    1. She thought you were about to come
    2. She was saving it for later right before she was going to ask you if you wanted another dance.

    actually, a 3rd reason:
    3. she's an idiot

    also, keep in mind, that you may tip well, but unless she has gotten a tip from you before, she doesn't know that.

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    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    I've had guys actually ask me to do a certain move again and I think that works the best. Most guys I give lapdances too are always like "oh yea, I like that," "That's really sexy," etc and it's so often, that I think that maybe they are just getting into the dance and don't really pay attention to it

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    Newbie MrTipsWell's Avatar
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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Good points.
    Although, I don't even try to reach that point during dances, so I don't make comments in any sort of a "oh yeah baby" way.
    Plus, I've never had anybody say like, "How 'bout I do that one move for you again?" when prospecting for additional dances.
    I don't meet too many dancers that seem like idiots. Maybe they're just trying so hard to do a good job of getting into their dance that they don't register the comment.
    Thanks for the post.

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Dunno dude, when a guy says that to me I do it again. and again. and again. lol Just ask if she's a lil thick or maybe didn't understand you, and don't think it's rude, hell it saves us time trying every move we know to figure out what you like ;]

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    One good reason I can think of is... if you liked it so much... she might be afraid you'd NOTICE if she did it again and doesn't want you to think she's repeating herself.


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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrTipsWell
    Here's something I've never understood....when a girl is dancing for me and does a move, pose, or position I really like, I'll usually say something like, "Wow, that was awesome...that little move just about took my breath away!". The problem is, no matter where I am or who the dancer is, they never seem to bother to repeat the move that I commented on. Just for the record, I'm fit, clean, young-looking, very respectful both verbally and physically with all dancers (I don't touch even in clubs where it's allowed...it's a respect thing with me), and I tip generously. For example...the other night, a girl did a unique move in VIP where she sat on my lap facing me and put her feet up on my shoulders while she looked me in the eye. I didn't make a move, reacting only by looking back at her and saying something like, "Wow, thanks for that. I can't tell you how much I appreciate THAT little move!" She replied with something like, "Mmmm...good. I like to hear that." But in the two dances that followed, se never did it again. Maybe I should have asked, but frankly, that would have kind of blown it for me, 'cause I like to reward dancers who obviously work hard and pay attention to business. This sort of thing has happened to me a bunch of times, and I shudder to think of the money I'd have parted with had dancers just paid a little more attention. Am I being too shy with my feedback? Do dancers think if they show us too much individualized attention we'll end up thinking we're something extra-special to them? Help a guy out here girls...I'm really into being a good custy.
    I bring an old typewrite and several reams of paper with me into a VIP room when getting a lap dance. If the dancer hasnt gotten the hints I am dropping that I like a certain thing, then I stop the dance and type a 12 page missive detailing exactly what she has been doing that I like, and my desire for her to do it again, preferrably several more times. I make sure that it is footnoted and sources are cited. If I have the time, I will also include a bibliography. Then I hand it to her.

    That usually gives them the hint. Works every time

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Definitely ask her to do it again. Not only is it not in the least bit rude, she will actually be flattered at how much you liked one of her moves and will make a point to do it more since ya liked it so much....

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    Newbie MrTipsWell's Avatar
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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    OK...honest-to-god true story:
    I was bored and went to the club last night (leaving the typewriter and thesaurus in the car...although I like his idea above)....this girl is dancing for me in VIP, working really hard and putting a lot into her routine, and she pulls this little move I liked, and I remember the need to emphasize, so I said, "If you keep pulling THAT move for me, I'm going to make this couch my new mailing address." She laughs and says like, "Is THAT all it's going to take to keep you here for another one?". I replied in the affirmative, and she proceeded to pull it again numerous times in each of the half-dozen or so dances that followed. I thanked her appropriately for orchestrating such a beautiful start to the workweek ahead, and I'll make it a point to go and pay homage again soon. Thanks for the suggestions ladies.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    No idea WHY they wouldn't follow up - except for the reasons that Emily mentions. But this:
    Quote Originally Posted by MrTipsWell
    Maybe I should have asked, but frankly, that would have kind of blown it for me, 'cause I like to reward dancers who obviously work hard and pay attention to business.
    is an error on your part. I mean, essentially you are making it a principle to not get what you want. That, my friend, is a silly principle. I get in the ideal world everyone would pay attention and not need reminders or instructions, but sometimes people in all walks do - like it would be silly of me to go to a restaurant where someone mixed up an order and brought me coffee with cream (I go black), wordlessly drink it and then simply never go back because I like to reward people who pay attention. It would be a much better experience for me to (nicely) ask the waiter to give me what I wanted; that way I get what I want. I do take coffee VERY seriously.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Newbie MrTipsWell's Avatar
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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Point well-made and well-taken Jenny.

    What I was trying to convey is that I take pleasure not only in the coffee's pleasureable physical impact on my tastebuds, but also in the intuitive and attentive service of the waitperson who brings it to me.
    I'll willingly pay and tip for any coffee I order, it's just that I enjoy leaving a fiver for the waitress that brings a second cup and remembers I said, "with just a squirt of cold milk added please".

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrTipsWell
    Point well-made and well-taken Jenny.

    What I was trying to convey is that I take pleasure not only in the coffee's pleasureable physical impact on my tastebuds, but also in the intuitive and attentive service of the waitperson who brings it to me.
    I'll willingly pay and tip for any coffee I order, it's just that I enjoy leaving a fiver for the waitress that brings a second cup and remembers I said, "with just a squirt of cold milk added please".
    Let me tell you about intuitive service in the world of high volume sales/service. For every dream customer like you I get a smartass who criticizes me for repeating the same moves.

    We can't be intuitive because your preferences aren't the same as the other 20 guys we dance for in a given night. One guy LOVES the neon outfits another says "OW, that's really bright!" Actual quote. Customer service is a pain in the fucking ass when you get a bunch of fucking whiners who CAN'T BELIEVE you wouldn't just know what THEY want. They'll say "OH, that was nice" and then get flaccid as you repeat the same turn, twist, or what-the-hell-ever.

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Thanks Optimist.
    Most clarifying point yet.
    I can only imagine what it's like trying to figure out the strip-bar-patronizing male psyche.
    You guys earn every cent you get.
    Thanksgiving resolution: Make it easier for you to make me want to be the guy who makes your night.
    Regards. MTW

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    I won't repeat a "cool" move within the next 2 songs, or even 3. MAYBE 4-5. If we do the cool stuff too often, it loses its cool. We want you to keep buying, rather than get your fill in 1-2 songs.

    Some guys act like they want me to keep doing the same exact move the whole time, and sorry, but that's just boring. I would start yawning if I did that. And no custy likes a bored stripper on his lap.
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist
    For every dream customer like you I get a smartass who criticizes me for repeating the same moves.
    I would say more like 3 smartasses for every 1 nice one.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette
    I won't repeat a "cool" move within the next 2 songs, or even 3. MAYBE 4-5. If we do the cool stuff too often, it loses its cool. We want you to keep buying, rather than get your fill in 1-2 songs.
    But if the customer doesn't sense that the cool move is occuring enough to his liking, hell get a sense that he's never going to get his fill. He'll get bored and quit buying.

    Some guys act like they want me to keep doing the same exact move the whole time, and sorry, but that's just boring. I would start yawning if I did that. And no custy likes a bored stripper on his lap.
    All the time yes, but using that move an in intermittent fashion can work wonders for multiple sales. The tricky part is figuring out how frequently you need to do it.

    A good analogy here would be how slot machines manage to clean gamblers out even though mathematically pay back 85-99% of what they take in. They play ruthlessly on our need for intermittent reinforcement.

    If you hit a jackpot every time, the game would get boring (and the casino would cease to exist). If you never hit a jackpot, or hit them too sporadically, it would also get boring. But if you hit one occasionally, it will sink into your mind "you know, if I keep putting money in here, that will happen again".
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    I've had a guy say to me "You could do that again anytime you wanted!" after pulling a spectacular move. Well, hi, yah that was my cue...so every now and then I would break it out again....

    You DO have to let us know. So many men are into So many things. And even if you don't want to directly ask for something because it lacks the spontanaity (spell check that one!) for you...you just have to find a way to let her in on your desires....

    And since you are so polite, I am going to bet you will not have a problem communicating nicely. Good luck and enjoy!




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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Doc: Duh. Why do you think I get so many multiples and long strings of dances?

    Well, the fact that I know how to repeat cool moves just enough, AND I've got several pretty good ones to keep them entertained for a while

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Eh, it's less about being blunt than being direct and if you don't get the response that you're wanting, pay her and move on to another dancer that will give you what you need.

    Strip clubs are a customer service-based business at the end of the day.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Quote Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan
    One good reason I can think of is... if you liked it so much... she might be afraid you'd NOTICE if she did it again and doesn't want you to think she's repeating herself.
    Thats exactly how I'd feel, but I think id keep it on mind and do it again right before asking for another dance. I mean it may feel awkward for me to do the same thing twice...but if he likes it...why not try it again for the chance of more money

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    I've never actually asked. I think it has to do alot with body language as well. You say you sit still all the time maybe they hear you, but it doesn't really sink in. Kinda like someone seeing a tatoo and saying oh that's a nice tat. They don't really pay mind to it, but if you react to it physically they'll remember it more. I guess I'm lucky I wear my emotions on my sleeve, cuz when I like something my body is usually in harmony. If a girl pulls a move I like I usually react. Shivering, look at her face with a big cheese on my face, bite my lower lip. Whatever, point being they usually notice. Maybe I'm just lucky lol who knows.

    Another thing, if you ever run in2 me which is like really unlikely, do not under any circumstance do the move I like before asking for the next dance. At that point I'll be happy you did it and it'll be easier for me to leave. If you don't do it I'm more likely to stay to see if you will do it on the next song. Finding the balance is key. With me it's every 2 or three songs. Do it more often and it gets repetetive, if I gotta wait past the third song it's unlikely it'll still be fresh on my mind. There's a girl that has me figured out so well I actually try to avoid her. She's like crack to me, that sucks. lol.

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    I don't think I've ever had a girl not repeat a move I liked either at the end of the dance, or at least on subsequent dances.
    The intuitive girls can tell by your reaction, such as a grin, gleam in your eye, etc., and don't need to be told.

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    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    speaking of cool moves, anyone want to reply or PM me with ideas for air dance cool moves?

    im pretty good at my air dance, but anything to step up my game is always welcome from both dancers and customers
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrTipsWell View Post
    Here's something I've never understood....when a girl is dancing for me and does a move, pose, or position I really like, I'll usually say something like, "Wow, that was awesome...that little move just about took my breath away!". The problem is, no matter where I am or who the dancer is, they never seem to bother to repeat the move that I commented on. Just for the record, I'm fit, clean, young-looking, very respectful both verbally and physically with all dancers (I don't touch even in clubs where it's allowed...it's a respect thing with me), and I tip generously. For example...the other night, a girl did a unique move in VIP where she sat on my lap facing me and put her feet up on my shoulders while she looked me in the eye. I didn't make a move, reacting only by looking back at her and saying something like, "Wow, thanks for that. I can't tell you how much I appreciate THAT little move!" She replied with something like, "Mmmm...good. I like to hear that." But in the two dances that followed, se never did it again. Maybe I should have asked, but frankly, that would have kind of blown it for me, 'cause I like to reward dancers who obviously work hard and pay attention to business. This sort of thing has happened to me a bunch of times, and I shudder to think of the money I'd have parted with had dancers just paid a little more attention. Am I being too shy with my feedback? Do dancers think if they show us too much individualized attention we'll end up thinking we're something extra-special to them? Help a guy out here girls...I'm really into being a good custy.
    Uhh...just tell her to do it again???

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    Default Re: How blunt do we have to be?

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    speaking of cool moves, anyone want to reply or PM me with ideas for air dance cool moves?

    im pretty good at my air dance, but anything to step up my game is always welcome from both dancers and customers
    No "air-dance" moves are cool. Sorry.

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