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Thread: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

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    Member libidiny's Avatar
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    Thumbs down this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    argh.
    let me just get that off my chest again: ARRRGRGGGHHHHHHHGGGHHHH!!

    (this may become a long rant, so excuse me)

    i work in a relatively small club. small, as in 7-12 dancers on a given night. the place is kindof out in the cut, and isn't exactly famous for its selection of hot, sexy dancers. many of the girls are slightly-to-more-than-slightly overweight amatuers, who are slightly above average, if anything. i dont think i'm a goddess or anything, but i know comparatively speaking, i am a lot better looking than many of the girls i work with. i can also dance pretty well.
    i make more money than the other girls. to me, the reasons for this seem obvious. i have all of my teeth, im not riddled with cellulite, a coke addiction, and non-dancer related bruises. i'm also educated and articulate, and considerably nice. i like to stay out of the drama. a lot of girls say this, but i actually mean it.

    i'm a stripper (dancer, whatever) at work, and a PERSON outside of work. (this is not to say that dancers aren't people, but you should understand what i mean by this)

    well, lately some of the other girls are going to great lengths to explain why i'm making money and they aren't. apparently i go home with customers, jerk them off in the VIP rooms, and let them finger me, among other things. our club IS kinda lax on touching in dances--lax as in, touching of the back and legs is permitted at the dancer's discretion. i'll admit that i do permit this from time to time, but as anyone watching the surveillance cameras would know, thats about as far as it goes.

    there is one girl, and i hate her so vehemently its simply beyond words. she is the ring leader for all of this crap. she is one of those girls who has been dancing too long, caught up in an occupation that completely consumes her. any time there is any drama in the club, its usually incited by her. last night while i was dancing on stage, she sat down in the lap of a guy i just started dancing for, who i was hustling earlier. knowing she just didn this to piss me off, i moved to the guy sitting next to him. so she struck up a conversation with that guy. realizing she was only trying to distract him, i moved to the next guy, whom she also started talking to. she did this with four guys back-to-back, just to keep them from paying attention to me. she did this because when she was on (another part of the) stage earlier, i was talking to those guys--or, rather, they were talking to me. ettiquette tells me that if she would have come over to where they were, i would have had them pay attention to her. but she didnt.
    but what she did to me, on purpose, holy shit i wanted to stab her in the throat with my shoe.

    i like to think that i am of some value to the club. my picture is on the business card for christ sake. i realize at a bigger club im just a medium-sized fish, but here, well, that's not the case. i like everything about the place i work and i dont want to leave...but these rumors..and the amount of other dancers who actually believe them..are getting out of hand. and now, with all of the ridiculous sharking, drama, and cattiness, i cant fucking take it anymore.

    my car got keyed a couple of weeks ago. this is getting out of hand.

    so. um. any advice?
    Last edited by libidiny; 11-05-2006 at 02:43 PM.

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Lady's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    wow .. sounds like a big problem. I would confront her. Ask her if she has a problem and what she may have been saying about you. I would be nice about it and just ask her stop saying those things.
    You could also try to go to the manager if you have one that actually does things
    Or you could try the othe route. Next time you have a few guys that are spending good money ... invite her to the table. Tell her that you are making money and there is probably more for her is she wanted to come sit with you. Often time this wil work.
    There is always the two can play that game approach ... be a ruthless bitch to her .. key her car .. talk shit about here .. but I dont think any of that stuff will solve the problem.
    Suck it up and try being super nice. Keep your friends close .. enemies closer

  3. #3
    Member libidiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    i've tried being nice to her--she has given me crap since I first started there. apparently a few of her regulars moved on to me.
    but even with me being nice, she would still say stuff behind my back (to customers too, i suspect)..and pretty much use me to make money in duo shows when she knew that we lacked that sort of chemistry. i finally got fed up with trying to play on her good side and moved out of that dressing room. i usually just try to stay out of her way, but lately she's become more aggressive with her shark-like behavior. confrontation isnt likely because she's the i'll-fucking-kick-your-ass kind of girl, rather than a let's-talk-about-this kind of girl.

    i feel stuck in the situation. i would go to other clubs in the area, but most of them let a whole lot more stuff slide than the place i work. which is kindof ironic, seeing as how i love to get fingered at work and all.

    im thinking about just getting out of it altogether, it isn't worth the bullshit attached to it.

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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    Well some advice (im a guy though)
    1. Try to talk to her (if you already tried once) If that doesnt work then move on to step 2.
    2. kick her ass
    3. Dont actually do step 2 (jail is not worth it)
    4. *Final, after all is said and done and no good has come....just move on to another club if you want to continue dancing. In my opinon its not worth the drama/headaches... Sry you car got keyed...i know the feeling
    But have this face and move on.
    Good Luck

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    Well after you've taken all the necessary rights to let her know, I'd just take my issue up with manangement. You work hard, you hustle your ass off, and you probably are highly favorable to your managers. Hopefully they'll be on your side given this situation.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    I hate to say this, but it has all of the ingredients of a 'no win' situation for everyone concerned. It's likely to come down to a situation of kicking each other's asses and let the chips fall where they may, or a situation of the 'status quo' being put up with as long as you stay at this club.

    If you want to continue dancing, and if you're not in a position where you have the opportunity of working in a 'better club', there IS one thing that you could try. Just because the other clubs in town have a reputation of being sleaze-pits doesn't mean that you couldn't try working in one of them without getting 'down and dirty' yourself. If you quit your present club and get out of dancing altogether, this basically hands this other dancer exactly what she is apparently looking for ... zero competition from you in regard to her former 'regular customers'.

    However, if you go to work for a different club in the same town, and if you mention that fact to these customers just before you quit your current club, there's a fair chance that these customers will follow you to the new club ! In theory this should inflict some financial pain on the other dancer at your 'old' club as well as on your 'old' club's management. At that point, a window of opportunity might open up in regard to your 'old' club's management dealing with this other girl FOR you as a condition of having you come back to work for their club ! If that doesn't happen, you can then evaluate whether or not it's worth it to continue dancing at the new club - and you still have the option of getting out of dancing altogether and doing something else.

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    God/dess Mare's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    I say if management won't take care of it then you either need to stay or go. Either way if the girls are so gross as you describe try to get some more non gross girls to work in the club. Then you won't be the only one they are hating .Plus it will f*ck up their $ and possibly drive them from the club. As far as the car situation. That is well out of hand. I would have filed a police report just because it is vandalism and if you stay and more crap goes on they may be able to tie it together or some dumb b*tch may brag she did it and she will be up on charges. Then just get a restraining order on her.Also if you can park the car just out of the way-like a mile in a shopping plaza or something and take a cab the rest of the way. Or you can always find some really good friend of yours to get a lap dance from her and freak her out. tell her he WANTS to know where she lives b/c he WANTS to pay her a visit. Tell her as much creepy crap as he can legally get away with and she will have other things to think about.Basically she and whomever else is playing dirty.Time to roll up the sleeves. Or just make an anonymous call and get it raided on a weekend when you know they have all their crap in the club.
    If all else fails it's not so bad to be a medium fish in a bigger tank with better looking more behaved fish.Good luck.

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    Has management said anything?

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    Featured Member Katherine's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    It might be better for you to be a 'medium size fish' in a bigger pond vs the big fish in a little pond. There will be more hot girls and a bigger draw for more custies.

    I'm with Melonie. Try another club. See if your custies will follow. You can make a more educated decision after at least trying out a new place!

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    You just described the first club I ever worked at. Go to a better place. Don't let them tell you shit like, "You're lucky you're here, at other clubs, you'd have your stuff stolen and you'd be bullied." They're just jealous that they're stuck with the retirement home.

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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    i was that girl and i took very long holidays from the club instead of being smart and working elsewhere during those long holidays.

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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    OMG, that would drive me crazy! I feel for you with having to put up with all of that drama/jealousy. I would definitely recommend trying out a new club (bigger if possible) and see how you like it. The good thing about bigger clubs is that you have much more anonymity, so it's virtually impossible for anyone to know how much $$ you pull in a night thus reducing the level of jealousy and hostility that you are experiencing at your current club.

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    Member libidiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist
    Has management said anything?
    after saturday night (when most of that happened), i flipped out and told my boss i wouldnt be coming back. she asked me to give her another chance to work stuff out and see if some changes can be made. i havent decided whether it's even worth me giving it another chance--if i didnt like my boss so much it wouldnt be difficult at all.

    i just hope her 'changes' don't result in more tension. blah.

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    Member libidiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    Quote Originally Posted by Krazyjane
    You just described the first club I ever worked at. Go to a better place. Don't let them tell you shit like, "You're lucky you're here, at other clubs, you'd have your stuff stolen and you'd be bullied." They're just jealous that they're stuck with the retirement home.
    i tried working at a better club for a couple of weekends but wound up feeling kindof dime-a-dozen about myself. i also couldnt really compete with the girls at the better clubs who did a lot more than dance in the champagne rooms.

    but i dont know. i'll probably jump around a little more, check out a few other places. although i will miss it at my home club--we have a lot of freedom.

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    Member libidiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie
    However, if you go to work for a different club in the same town, and if you mention that fact to these customers just before you quit your current club, there's a fair chance that these customers will follow you to the new club ! .
    blah. the thing that sucks about this, is that the club i work at is about an hour away from the city and the better clubs--so even if my customers did like me a lot, few of them would probably want to follow me that far away.

    i guess its just wishful thinking, me wanting my boss to can this girl. although it would put an end to 90% of the drama at the club.

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    Veteran Member sensuality's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    Wow....I know of more than a couple girls that got fired for this kind of shit...they do not allow us to talk shit about other girls, and if they say anything to a customer, and management finds out- they are gone! I'm sure its a bit tougher if there are a bunch of them ganging up on you I can't really give any good advice other than what you are already doing. So I just really hope everything works out for you!
    With all the stupid things guys will say, stay cool.

    "Her apartment is littered with soggy G-strings and cheap 8-inch heeled shoes, along with empty tubes of body glitter, mascara, prescription drugs, zit cream, Aqua Net and Polaroid pictures of her and her "friends" engaged in some drinking and dancing on St. Patrick's Day last year. " My God....

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    If you can't try another club, then the best thing for you to do is...

    IGNORE HER!

    Don't let her get to you. That's what she wants! If you ignore her, she'll get pissed off and frustrated and realize that nothing she does will bother you, so she might as well give up.

    Go ahead and let her be a bitch. In time, she'll self- destruct.

    Smile. Have fun at work! Only pay attention to your custies & before you know it, she'll have put out so much negative energy that it will come right back to her & she will have destroyed herself. I have seen this time and time again. If you retaliate or show it is bothering you, then you'll be feeding into her energy & you'll wind up hurting yourself. Be strong, stay positive, don't let the little girl get you down. Let Karma take care of it all. Karma.. Gotta love it! Good luck.
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    Member bellyflower's Avatar
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    Default strip club politics.

    wow, i was in this exact same situation. it's really hard.

    if you go back, try saying that you make nothing, underquote your earnings, complain about getting ripped off...they are jealous, you know. complain about the way you look. ask random girls that show no outward animosity (even if they are secretly talking smack and you know it) for help with hair, makeup. if you are already making $$$ one night, help out other girls.

    also, subtle flattery works on these type of girls. if you notice something nice, say so, or whatever. don't be obvious, but these type of girls feed each other's egos all the time, it's part of their social structure, and it's expected.

    smile at everyone. always. act completely oblivious to all this trash talking and conspiracy. show outward concern for people, even if you don't have a lot in common with them. self effacing personalities do well around shit talking egotists. oh, and i've seen some vicous people behave with absolute humility...it makes them look good, and it works. that's why they can be vicious.

    befriend her friends. she will have less sway. have something going on, always, and allow them to be included. if you are a ringleader (a benevolent one) and they want to be involved in your party, they have to play nicey nicey. i'm sure it's just her and a few more girls, it isn't the whole club. if you are good with 75% of the girls, they will lose a lot of steam. you need to take your time and kind of work your way in with everyone else.

    get allies.


    take the high road. you could just tell her you want to make peace. of course she could just use that as an oppurtunity to throw her shoes at you...but if you get a reputation for being kind and fair and always coming to people offering to work it out, you will get a lot of respect.

    like i said, this happened to me. one of the girls in the clique that was so out to get me would get on my ass for everything, always trying to say that i had disrespected some girl and always calling me out. each time, i would go to the girl herself and ask her if i'd done anything wrong and see if i could fix it. most of the time, the girl i had supposedly wronged didn't even have a problem. it was just someone else trying to start drama. then, if you have the balls (remember, in clubs where anything goes, girls can be volatile) go back to her (the one that hates you) and thank her for letting you know, but don't grovel. just tell her you got it straightened out and say, "oopsie, won't do that again". i recieved a lot of thankyous for being cool about shit, and showing concern gained me allies. i knew i hadn't wronged anyone, but addressing things seriously, kindly and openly regardless gave me the oppurtunity to prove myself.

    BUT don't hang out with girls outside the club. keep that to an absolute minimum. just don't get personal. nope. uh-uh.

    i think one bad mistake is keeping to yourself too much. it makes people think you are stuck up. if people know who you are, they see you as a person and are less likely to make you the dehumanize you as their evil stripper nemesis.

    oh...still rambling i guess....

    i had a girl follow me around like that, too. this girl was actually WAY prettier than me. it was really obvious, though, and it pissed off the custies. they would tell me, "as soon as you went in back, she came down and i sent her away because i've been watching her do that all night" that gave me some comfort. this beautiful (yet mean spirited girl) put herself in direct competition with me and lost out.

    i'm sorry you are in one of those catty drama filled clubs...i've been there.

    you might not ever get rid of this problem, but at least try making peace. talk to someone you can really trust and tell them you want to make peace, they might be able to help you get out of that scrape with her.

    or just work somewher that mgmt doesn't put up with that stuff.

    and i want to remind you...you don't always have to defend yourself. if you let it roll off your shoulders, sometimes it goes away. if you have to confront it, just be diplomatic and warm.

    you are in a really stressful situation. i hope it works out. i still harbor a little bitterness, but if you go back....

  19. #19
    Kaiyla
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    It is ultimately the MOST difficult thing to do but IGNORE as much as you can. Think about it, if you were on the oposite end of the spectrum, what is the #1 thing that would piss you off the most? Probably being ignored. Makes you feel like you're not even worth that person's time/attention/energy. I never got ahead during the times I caved in and rewarded negative energy with any attention. Ignoring obnoxious b*tches actually made me feel powerful and above them, granted it really is the most difficult thing to do.

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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    as i posted, one thing is to take long holidays and give the drug-addled jealous girls time to forget about you (2-3 weeks) and perhaps work somewhere else in the meantime. i did that with decent success, except i was not clever enough to work elsewhere during my fortnight breaks from the club.

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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    what sunshine said is great advice.

    but in the future, whenever a girl tests you by trying to punk you, stand your fucking ground and hold your head high. Be ready to defend yourself physically if you have to. Never budge and never throw the first punch. Don't ever take nobody's shit. Going to management when drama sets in is key. If management doesn't back you up, then switch clubs. You shouldn't have to fend for yourself in a job. That is what supervisors are for.

    and as sunshine said, karma is a bitch

  22. #22
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: this chick is making my (stripping) life hell!

    Quote Originally Posted by libidiny
    i tried working at a better club for a couple of weekends but wound up feeling kindof dime-a-dozen about myself. i also couldnt really compete with the girls at the better clubs who did a lot more than dance in the champagne rooms.

    but i dont know. i'll probably jump around a little more, check out a few other places. although i will miss it at my home club--we have a lot of freedom.
    I do admit that when I went to a better club, I drove an hour to and an hour from, i was no longer anywhere near the top, and I made less money because there were more girls of higher quality. However, at his new club, I felt safe. There was no drama courtesy of great management, they had great bounce staff, and the money was still pretty good.

    Would you rather be the queen of a dirt mound and be compromising yourself, your safety, and your sanity, or would you like to try to climb a mountain? Don't be intimidated. You can always learn and move up. Don't subject yourself to these gutterbutts. Near-retirement strippers are so much more likely to be nasty bitches because they feel threatened yet this is the only way they can make money. Fly, little bird, fly!

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