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Getting over it.
I was wondering if anyone has any tips on getting over someones unnecessary and sudden death. This was someone I was very close to, and I feel responsible. Can't shake the feeling. I can't sleep very well and I've actually fallen ill due to the stress. I'm looking pretty rough.
I got a tattoo in his memory, and it helped a little, but I can't stop feeling like I need to be doing something else. He designed a huge back tattoo for me, but it's not done... I was thinking maybe he wants me to find someone to finish it.
Agh. I sound crazy. *sigh*
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Re: Getting over it.
A close death is hugely traumatic and provokes irrationality. It's very normal to question about why, second-guess your own actions, and ponder your next moves.
The best I can really say is that death is the most natural part of life, and unless you had some direct action to cause the death, that you not try to take responsibility for the acts of people or of nature. If I break someone's heart and they kill themselves, that is their action, not mine (although I must inevitably feel I had some part in it). If I send someone on an errand and they're killed in a car wreck, that is the action of chance, not mine (although I'll still feel somewhat responsible).
My advice is to not make major decisions until the trauma has had time to pass. That's the best advice to give to someone newly grieving, but the easiest to ignore.
Good luck. It's not easy. The best way to honor those who have gone before us is to keep their memories fresh and living within us, and to live our lives well in their honor.
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