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Thread: Discrimination

  1. #1
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    Default Discrimination

    I tend to look for guys to hustle that I feel like I can be comfortable talking to or might relate to me -- not the stripper me but the real me. This is getting me down.

    I had a nightmare last night. I was in a huge stripclub. There were tons of girls. In my nightmare all the guys that were sitting alone (ready to be hustled) were very (what I would consider) unattractive.

    My method of just ignoring those that are very ugly, obese or just intimidating to me is affecting my sales. I have finally realized that I discriminate against customers. How does one avoid this?

    I've heard of girls saying that they APPROACH EVERY SINGLE MAN IN THE CLUB. I'd like to do that (as I really need the money) but I can't help but be intimidated or just plain put-off by certain "types" of men.

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    Default Re: Discrimination

    I wouldn't feel bad about it. Do what you are comfortable with and maybe with time you will start to feel better about dancing for a variety of men. Look at it this way, every guy sitting there is looking at you like a piece of meat. Why should you worry about the thoughts that go through your mind?
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    Default Re: Discrimination

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola J.
    I tend to look for guys to hustle that I feel like I can be comfortable talking to or might relate to me -- not the stripper me but the real me. This is getting me down.
    That's an issue right there. When you get to work, and you put on those heels..you aren't YOU anymore. You become an actress and you need to play the part. I dont' recommend approaching every customer, but I do make it my business to approach all men who look as if they need company.







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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Discrimination

    You should try to approach all men IMO. You never know who will be that big spender. Of course you should choose your target sort of speak, and go for the ones who seemed the most interested first, then for the ones who look bored. Look if they are sort of searching for someone to say hello. Your going to have to get into character at work as CK said, and it will get easier the more you do it. You should try to approach as many men as possible, only spending 1-4 songs or less depending on how busy it is. This was hard for me at first too, as I am VERY shy too, and I still have times where I have to force myself to start hustling. Remember the worst thing they'll say is no.
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  5. #5
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    Default Re: Discrimination

    PERFECT example of why you should approach EVERYONE if you have the time:

    Last night, I was on stage and a little anti-social looking troll of a man came and put a measly dollar on the rail. I would NEVER have approached him if there were other guys in the room to talk to, but it was late and the customers were starting to thin out. I graciously thanked him for his tip, tried to ignore the fact that he reminded me of a serial killer who lived in his mom's basement and asked him if he'd like a dance. Not only did he agree, but he bought 3 nude ($105)! I was shocked. He looked like he had no money at all, but I took the time to ask him. I don't think anyone else even tried to hustle him.

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    Default Re: Discrimination

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola J.
    I tend to look for guys to hustle that I feel like I can be comfortable talking to or might relate to me -- not the stripper me but the real me. This is getting me down.

    I've heard of girls saying that they APPROACH EVERY SINGLE MAN IN THE CLUB. I'd like to do that (as I really need the money) but I can't help but be intimidated or just plain put-off by certain "types" of men.
    Why do you want them to relate to the real you? Most guys in the club are going to see you as a fantasy figure, not the real you. They're probably going to be more interested in talking to Lola J the stripper, not Lola J the person (no matter how interesting you are in real life).

    Plus, if they do relate to the real you, you're going to have problems. firstly, if you like the guy, are you going to want to really hustle him? And are you going to start wondering, what will this guy think of me after I've danced for him?

    Secondly, are you going to start having issues with dancing - most dancers I know leave the real them outside the club and switch off from real life while they're working. If the 'real you' comes into the club, sure you're going to be put off by some customers - you wouldn't talk to them in the real world, so you're reluctant to talk to them in the fantasy world of the club.

    As CK says, you should think of yourself as an actress playing the role of a stripper. It's then the actress that goies up to the customer and goes through her chat up lines - and the actress that does the dance. Puts a bit of mental space between you and the customer - and will maybe make it easier for you to approach the ugly, obese and intimidating guys you otherwise wouldn't.

    Another thought for you - perhaps the ugly and obese guys are feeling a little intimidated themselves too. After all, they're going to spend a little time with a girl far more attractive than them whom they know would not be talking to them except for the money. Maybe they're anxious about what YOU are thinknig of them.

    The only person of whose emotions we can be sure is ourselves - because we are living the experience. Just because we're not sure of someone else's emotions doesn't mean they're not nervous too.

    The hardest thing to do when two strangers meet is to break the ice - once you've started a conversation, maybe these guy'll have nice personality. You'll never find out unless you talk to them - and you can still walk away if you do feel uncomfortable.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: Discrimination

    If you are put off by certain "types" of men, you are in the wrong business. How do you feel if you walk into a boutique wanting to spend money and no one will wait on you?

    To be a successful dancer or salesperson in general you MUST try to sell EVERYONE!!!

    You are not there to relate to everyone. That is what you learn in the Dancer Wealth class. How to approach ANYONE in the crowd and build rapport with that person. If I had to feel every guy I approach would have something in common in me I'd be broke. LOL.

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    Default Re: Discrimination

    ^^Yeah, I agree...just to use my own example...I used to avoid many older (like, senior citizen) men because of a few bad experiences...I also used to avoid younger guys because they wouldn't spend. But recently I've had some really nice older customers, and realized I had been avoiding them because I had generalized...and same with younger customers. I've had some good spenders! I just make sure to not hustle them any different than other guys, and to not let them waste my time by being cute. They can be cuter when they hand me the red and brown bills

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