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Thread: I want to start dancing again, but shouldn't

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    Featured Member lolagetz's Avatar
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    Default I want to start dancing again, but shouldn't

    How can I make this feeling go away?! I danced for almost a year, made great money, bought lots of nice stuff, and then I met this guy, my current boyfriend for 7 months now, and he's so awesome. He's the best guy I could ever imagine. After a few months with him, I decided to quit because I knew it would make him happy (he never asked me to quit, but it did make him happy) and because I was starting to get really depressed with competing with prostitutes, even though I still made 300-700 a night. Also I was starting to hate men so much, it made daily interactions difficult. Anyway, I work at a computer store now and it sucks. I make about $50 a day, and they make me work days I don't want to and stupid hours (tomorrow I have to go in at 4:30 am for inventory!) I just don't have time to go to school full time and work 40 hours a week like they want me to, especially when I have a wonderful boyfriend to visit!

    I know I shouldn't go back to dancing, it would only damage this great relationship I have, and would make me hate men all over again, but man, I hate working so much and having so little money! I guess there's no easy fix for this -- I just have to suck it up and realize that this is how it is when you have a stupid retail job. Does anyone have any advice/experiences to share?

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    Senior Member IsabellaRouma's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to start dancing again, but shouldn't

    As far as your boyf, if he's as great as you say he is he'll have to understand that it's your livelihood. If anything work on strengthening your relationship before you go back. Also ask yourself, if he had a job that paid him really well and still allowed him time for school and a personal life, would he, as a man, give it up for you?

    As far as hating men, having a great boyf should help. He's your daily reminder that not all men are jerks and ALL your custies can't be total assholes.

    As far as competing with pros, find a cleaner club.
    "Emancipate Yourselves From Mental Slavery; None but Ourselves Can Free Our Minds." ~Bob Marley

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    Default Re: I want to start dancing again, but shouldn't

    Hmmm. I have been dancing for about a year and a half now and quit once. I would say, first of all, loose the shit job you've got now because it's only going to make you want to dance more. You've learned from it and got something on your resume', so move onto a different job you like and pays more. I quit dancing by going from full time while I was looking for a job that I really liked and then when I found one I slowed down my work load at the club to three days a week, then just Friday and Saturday, then just Fridays. So I was working the job I really liked, but still had that extra few hundred dollars coming in from Fridays to put away for school. I think if you talked to this boyfriend about keeping a second job during the week, working at a club Friday and maybe Saturday, and then leaving Sunday and weeknights for dates with him, he'd have no problem with it. Your biggest mistake was spending that money on nice stuff. Do you really want to think about all that money you had coming in and only have material shit to show for it? I am now dancing on the weekend and working a second job during the week. I put every penny I earn in the club away for school and I pay my bills with the money from my other job. My boyfriend can't really say anything because as far as my resume' is concerned, I am not dancing, and I have extra money for school so he knows I won't be dancing forever. The thing that scares guys mostly is not that other guys are looking at your boobs, they worry that's all you'll ever amount to. Hope this helped, good luck.

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    Senior Member IsabellaRouma's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to start dancing again, but shouldn't

    Btw, sometimes taking a break can help you appreciate it/enjoy it more. I know I refuse to ever work for less than a certain amount of money b/c I know what I can make dancing. As far as dancing goes in general, provided that you can find somewhere you can enjoy (or at least not hate) working, why the hell would anyone who has the potential to make $300-$700 bucks a day settle for making $50 bucks a day?

    You're young. Work it. Sounds harsh, but if the boyf doesn't get on the band wagon, he will only hold you back. As I like to say to men who take issue with my job, "Sure I'll stop dancing and then you can pay me the $75k/year I could have made if I hadn't quit. I think that's fair!"
    "Emancipate Yourselves From Mental Slavery; None but Ourselves Can Free Our Minds." ~Bob Marley

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    Senior Member IsabellaRouma's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to start dancing again, but shouldn't

    I don't think that's what scares guys... I mean I'm in school myself, and when I finish and establish a career (Nurse Anaestethist) I'll be making more than I did as a dancer. I don't think the average man worries that "gee, that's all my woman will ever amount to..."

    Men are territorial. Most of 'em just don't like other men seeing their shit naked and on display. On top of that, if you make more than he does with your dancing, that's even more reason for it to make him uncomfortable.
    "Emancipate Yourselves From Mental Slavery; None but Ourselves Can Free Our Minds." ~Bob Marley

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    Default Re: I want to start dancing again, but shouldn't

    if you would really hate men that much, there is other work that pays around half what you were averaging that you could do, and sometimes as much as that or more. other types of service-work, and many types of consulting, as some examples. where i live, plenty of bartenders and waitstaff make what you were making naked working similar hours. it is in fact an option many strippers take when they stop dancing for that reason. quite a few outearn their dancer-wages.

    also, it's a huge world jobwise. people get paid to do all kinds of nutty stuff. the people who fix office machines make pretty nice money and it is very easy work, as far as that goes, for example. i dunno, i often feel SW strippars at least have more options than dancing or minimum wage.

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    Senior Member IsabellaRouma's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to start dancing again, but shouldn't

    that's true and a very good point. there are lots of ways to make money, lots of options. I like dancing for right now so it works for me, but I always say, I'd NEVER have a job I hate. So if you really do hate it, find something you'd enjoy more and find a way to make it profitable.

    Or you could get a few sugar daddies. Lol! I'm laughing, but I'm totally serious.
    "Emancipate Yourselves From Mental Slavery; None but Ourselves Can Free Our Minds." ~Bob Marley

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    Default Re: I want to start dancing again, but shouldn't

    I had the same problem as you and I found that if you decide to quit dancing you have to do it for yourself. Because if you quit for someone else you are going to be frustrated, miserable and resentful of him. Then you will eventually break up anyway and regret all the money you could have made when you wer with him. My advice: Find someone who accepts it, dance and ask him to be ok with it, take a break from the relationship until you figure out what you want, or find another job such as waitressing in a strip club.

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