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Thread: Hating men?

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    Default Hating men?

    From a lot of the posts here it sounds like some dancers do not really enjoy dancing for men, some seemed to be grossed out and really turned off by their customers. I understand that when a customer goes overboard and crosses personal boundaries that anyone would be disgusted and angry.
    I can only imagine (since I don't dance publicly) that in the beginning dancing would be a turn-on, like 'look all these guys think I'm hot!' and somewhat ego-boosting.
    So...I assume this feeling changes over time? That maybe a couple of bad experiences changes the way a dancer feels towards the majority of customers? If so, why would anybody want to go into a club an pay for the dances when he might think that the person dancing for them is mentally rolling their eyes and thinking they are better than you?
    I get that not all customers are respectful, good tippers, and everything that would be desirable.
    Anyhow, here are my questions; do you think that you started out enjoying dancing and getting a rush from it, and that feeling went away? Do you still dance only for the money? Or are there some of you who generally enjoy dancing for the feeling you get from having all eyes on you and being lusted after? Are you grossed out by all customers?
    I'm truly only curious because of the insane amount of posts that seem to be screaming "EEEEWWWWW!!!, this customer....." Because to a person that doesn't hang out in strip clubs for any other reason than pleasure, it makes me think "Then why are you freakin dancing, if all you do is complain about the customers?"
    No offense meant to anybody, again, just curious.

  2. #2
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    Oh, men and women hate each other.

    Strippers and customers hate each other.

    It's God's plan and nature's cruelest joke.

    So, just relax and enjoy the ride.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    Default Re: Hating men?

    It's still a turn on after a year and a half, but that's somewhat because I'm a leo and kind of a vouyer and mostly because you're touching yourself in sexual areas for 4-13 hours a day. It depends on the night though. A dancer's mood comes from the guy. I could be in an awesome mood, ready to dance, and I could just get bumbed out because the guys isn't giving positive feedback (whistles, smiles, boners, compliments) and that's when it goes from being a fun, intimate experience to thinking he's a creeper. Even then, a true professional will keep a smile on and joke with the customer or do a wild enough dance move to get a smile on this dude's face. Strippers get jaded and they think that because they dance well and look good, that money is coming to them. A dancer is an entertainer, when you're working, your job is about them and keeping it that way will pay your bills.
    I'm definately not grossed out by all customers. Not everyone is a sleeze and not everyone is unnatractive. We get just as many fun bachelor parties as we do dirty guys.
    As much as it is our job to please you, remember: Some nights I pay the club more than I make, I've probably had 100 guys try to grab my ass before you ever met me, I am wearing 6" stripper shoes for 10 hours, and I probably haven't eaten since I came to work. We do what we can to look sexy for you guys and dancing is harder than it looks. I remember every guys who cut me some slack and gave me $10 "just for being beautiful" and every guy who gave me a genuine comliment. You never know, I've given free dances for a flower and I've bought a beer for nice guys if it's thir birthday. I even bought a customer a vip dance from another dancer just for giving me a 5 minute hand massage. So it never hurts to be nice back.

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    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wuggot
    I'm truly only curious because of the insane amount of posts that seem to be screaming "EEEEWWWWW!!!, this customer....."
    Yeah, this customer did what? Fill in the blank. Did something specific that's being complained about, didn't they? What you're diminishing from your analysis is that we're usually complaining about specific customers doing specific annoying things. Sometimes perhaps trivial things in the big scheme of things, but sometimes really obnoxious things. If you're not doing those things, then count yourself out of the rush to judgment. If you're not one of those guys, you're probably making the job more enjoyable.

    Think about asking the same question -- are you unhappy in your job because of your complaints about customers -- to a waitress, clerk, bank teller or cashier. I surmise they gripe about customers doing certain annoying things as much as we do, but you probably aren't as analytical about that as much as you are with us. As long as they show you the friendly level of service you expect at their business place, you're good. And if you're not a customer who's way out of line, they probably like working with you. Really, it's no different with us. You've merely come to the employee lounge where you're bound to hear the negatives louder and longer than the positives.

    But, again, if the complaints are not about behavior similar to yours, don't sweat it. As long as you're paying and acting appropriately, the beauty of the arrangement for you is that, as long as you're enjoying it, you really don't have to care whether or not the dancer is.

    -Ev

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    Default Re: Hating men?

    the truth is, there seem to be more horrible customers in the clubs these days than good customers. also, as is true with most things in life, the bad things generaly have more effect on your mentality than the good. for instance, 10 respectful customers is not going to erase the memory of the one who tried to choke you, the one who whipped his cock out and tried to force you on it, the one who tried to finger you while you were turned around, etc. i don't hate men. i won't ever "hate men". i -do- hate a large portion of the men that frequent strip clubs, but i try not to let that opinion present itself in my mind until someone gives me reason to. that said, the brains natural human reaction to a repeated negative incident is to be "on gaurd" for the next one and to recognize the "signs" that such a thing might occur. this is why you hear girls talking about certain "types" of customers. sure, there are great customers, but (at least in my and all of the girls i know opinons) they are less common than the others and increasingly so.

    many customers complain that the dancers don't care about them or just "want their money". the flip side to this is that many of these customers couldn't care less if the dancer is offended, hurt, etc. by their actions or words. me? i am damned willing to give every guy that comes into the club the best lap dance possible (within the law). i am commited to giving the customer a great time. what irritates me is that this is almost "never enough" lately. to most cutomers a great dance doesn't mean one that's sexy, arousing, sensual and fun... it means the dance with the most touching/grinding/mileage.

    also, i'm not saying that a customer should come into the club and spend a ton of money for "my good looks". please don't read that into it. i go to clubs as a customer as well and OF COURSE i want to have a good time.
    Last edited by Pretty_Penny; 11-19-2006 at 10:09 PM.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wuggot
    Because to a person that doesn't hang out in strip clubs for any other reason than pleasure, it makes me think "Then why are you freakin dancing, if all you do is complain about the customers?"
    No offense meant to anybody, again, just curious.
    is that all we do? Maybe that's just all you notice.

    Plus, "I did three dances for this guy today because he liked the way I looked!" is not exactly something that someone would write about on here....but it happens all the time.

    Try to see the forest from the trees.

    And for the record, I LOVE men!

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    the truth is, there seem to be more horrible customers in the clubs these days than good customers.
    Succinctly, that's the reality for most dancers. Moreover, it only takes one uncouth customer to throw a dancer's entire night into the toilet. It's a tough job that lends itself to occupational hazards most don't have to face.

    All that said, it makes being a respectful customer that much more rewarding, at least in my experience.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    ps. as far as the "why are you freakin dancing" question....... i think that's pretty obvious. as i've said before, i worked for the school district for many years. i could barely put gas in my car and i was working 60 hours a week. i went back to school full time and there isn't a job that could pay all my bills and allow me to be a full time student. for many girls stripping is their only way of getting ahead.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    I get extremely turned on by dancing, for the most part. But I get burnt out when there are too many bad customers, and then I have to take some time off and do something else. I just spent a month working 17-hour days with ugly hair and no makeup, and now I can't wait to get back to dancing!

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    Default Re: Hating men?

    I dance because I like to dance. If I could, I would ONLY stage dance. I dont like lapdances. Not because its "ew men".... I know plenty of awesome male customers. I just cant be as expressive and artistic in lapdances. And as for the general theory of "ew men".... I amonly "ew assholes" and "ew he wanted to fuck/finger/lick/something innappropriate me" and "ew I dont want to grind on dick". I adore men who are gentlemen, Gentlemen with class.
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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    Were you in my club last night?? A few dancers were very vocal and very negative yesterday, to the point that I was thinking of not going in tonight. Negativity can be very infectious, and it seemed to permeate the club yesterday.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    I don't dislike the customers at work any more than I disliked the customers when I worked as a waitress. You get assholes and you get gems and you get average. You usually only hear about the assholes and the gems, and it just so happens to be that the assholes are much more common than the gems. Even if the average guys are more frequent than the assholes, you just dont have a reason to talk about it. Like someone up there said, we wouldnt come on SW and say "I danced for a few guys tonight...they were normal. I danced and then got paid and then moved on to some more average custies..."

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    Default Re: Hating men?

    at my club there are a lot of nice customers and i dont mind talking to them and dancing for them.
    i hate talking to and dancing for wanker/arseholes that do not respect dancers rights in the club not to be touched etc. if any woman tells u not to touch them u should respect that. we clearly tell customers they cannot touch and while it hasn't happened to me i have seen girls have to fight off a customers wandering hands for the entire 10 min dance - no means no fuck head!

    i especially like dancing for shy guys who dont know where to look during the dance, its cute. one guy was physically trembling with nerves.

    i love being on stage coz i am a show off. i love showing off on the pole and doing tricks. if i could get paid just to pole dance i would do that instead of dancing.
    i dont hate private dances with nice customers its just the dickheads who dont care about the rules and spend the whole time trying to ask me out - i am not there to pick up and i told u i have a boyfriend.

    a private dance can be quite enjoyable to perform for a customer who shows respect, keeps his hands by his side and is just a nice person.

    i enjoy the sensual movements of exotic dancing, i even do it as home sometimes jjjust for exercise coz it works every muscle.

    as for the just for money thing?
    well why do you work? primarily for the money i would imagine. yes u can also get some enjoyment out of certain jobs but if we were all born millionaires wouldnt we rather cruise around the world, go shopping, have long lunches with friends etc rather than work? i know i would.

    i can't stand that attitude of customers saying oh i know u r here to make money, its all about the money. yeh thats why its called coming to work.

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    Veteran Member casaubon1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    The dancers on this site deserve their rants. Just read what some of the guys do to them -- I sometimes am amazed the dancers can settle for just having a rant.

    My experience in the clubs is that I am polite, kind and generous, and the dancers almost always respond in kind. And I'll bet that the dancers who post here regularly are even more thoughtful than most.

    The bad stuff here is not about men in general, its not about me, and its probably not about the OP either.

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    Default Re: Hating men?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wuggot
    I can only imagine (since I don't dance publicly) that in the beginning dancing would be a turn-on, like 'look all these guys think I'm hot!' and somewhat ego-boosting.
    Let's not imagine. The reality is a little more complicated, and there is not really a straightforward uniform experience. When guys "imagine" how they would feel they seldom take into account inherently different constructions of the sexuality of men and women, nor do they take into account different KINDS of sexual attention.

    So...I assume this feeling changes over time? That maybe a couple of bad experiences changes the way a dancer feels towards the majority of customers? If so, why would anybody want to go into a club an pay for the dances when he might think that the person dancing for them is mentally rolling their eyes and thinking they are better than you?
    They don't seem to mind. Maybe it is because the vast majority of customers feel that the structure of customer/provider relationship makes them inherently better than us.

    I'm truly only curious because of the insane amount of posts that seem to be screaming "EEEEWWWWW!!!, this customer....."
    Well, you have to admit that EEEWWWW! stories are better than "And then he paid me and went home."
    Further, we might say that it is not OUR fault if customers are repulsive. We're just sharing the stories. We don't make guys behave this way.

    Because to a person that doesn't hang out in strip clubs for any other reason than pleasure, it makes me think "Then why are you freakin dancing, if all you do is complain about the customers?"
    No offense meant to anybody, again, just curious.
    Well, no offense taken, but are you serious? I mean we realize that you guys do this recreationally; but you do realize that WE don't, right? That this is not R and R for us? That it is a job? And that hence we, like most other people who, you know, work, are working for... (duh duh duh) MONEY. You might as well ask someone working in a restaurant why they are waiting tables if they just complain about the customers. Because it is their job.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    I don't hate men. I do dislike it when men disrespect themselves and disrespect me.

    But to answer your questions...

    "...do you think that you started out enjoying dancing and getting a rush from it, and that feeling went away?"

    I think after you do ANYTHING for a long period of time, you may become a little jaded. I know that I don't like staying in one job for too long because I feel that once I get to enjoy the experience of a certain occupation & feel that I've exhausted the opportunity, I like to be challenged with doing something else. I did like dancing at first. It was thrilling. I still like it now though, but I feel as though I'm ready to take on something more challenging.

    "Do you still dance only for the money?"

    While I like the money and the flexibility, I do enjoy the experience of being a professional entertainer. I enjoy dancing onstage & performing before an audience. I enjoy turning the frown upside down. I love to make people laugh & have fun especially. My goal is to make the customer feel way better than s/he did than when s/he first walked in. (Unless they behave like a complete asshole. Then I hope they leave feeling shitty so they won't act like an asshole in the club ever again.)

    "Or are there some of you who generally enjoy dancing for the feeling you get from having all eyes on you and being lusted after?"

    Do I like evoking emotion from my audience? As a performer, that's my job.


    "Are you grossed out by all customers?"

    No. Some of the customers gross me out, but not all of them. The ones that do not gross me out practice good hygiene and are respectful. Do they turn me on? No. Only my sexy boyfriend (who used to be one of my customers!) turns me on.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

  17. #17
    Member JessAKALadyLuck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    We dont hate men. We just hate stupid men. And liars, cheats, gangster and pimp wannabes.

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    Veteran Member sensuality's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    My $.02 : I love men. I love dancing!!!!

    Of course, I hate scumbagguys and I usually don't like dancing for them.....
    With all the stupid things guys will say, stay cool.

    "Her apartment is littered with soggy G-strings and cheap 8-inch heeled shoes, along with empty tubes of body glitter, mascara, prescription drugs, zit cream, Aqua Net and Polaroid pictures of her and her "friends" engaged in some drinking and dancing on St. Patrick's Day last year. " My God....

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    It's hating men...

    HALLELUJAH

    It's Hating Men

    Yeaaaaa YEA
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: Hating men?

    Part of the reason there are so many EEWWW threads here are that we can't talk to just anybody about the things we have to deal with at the club. Even the people who know we dance will find these things upsetting if we tell them night after night.

    We do see the darker side of guys and have to smile and laugh as though it's all just so wonderful. The ear licking, neck kissing, touching, smelliness, neurosis, and overall bizarre energy that comes from many of these guys can get defeating if we don't EEWWW it away.

    Even after all these years there's still so much I love about stripping and that's why I keep slithering into the club from time to time although I don't need the money like I used to. I love the flirting, the stage, the sexiness, my bad girl stripper persona. I am a very friendly, fun, sexy, professional stripper, but goddamm, keep off me, that's all I ask. Unfortunately there really has been an increase in gross out worthy customers and it just chips away at you. The highs and lows in stripping are pretty extreme and we really need to be able to rant to keep doing the job.

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    Veteran Member casaubon1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    Quote Originally Posted by shakti
    I keep slithering into the club from time to time

    Furtive!

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Re: Hating men?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    It's hating men...

    HALLELUJAH

    It's Hating Men

    Yeaaaaa YEA

    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

  23. #23
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    Maybe dancers don't hate men, they just hate assholes!

    Phil.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    To every guy who wonders why we rant EEEWWWWW about the guys who lick, poke, grab, etc at us: If you got licked, poked, grabbed, yelled, spit at repeatedly for hours on end, night after night, you'd EEEEWWWW too.

    Complain isn't "all we do" here. We talk about any and everything under the sun here. We have nice things to say about customers, just as much as the complaining. Obviously, OP only pays attention to the complaining.

    As others have said, the average customers (vast majority) who don't do anything special, don't gross us out or stand out in any particular way don't get written/talked about. How boring would that be??

    No we don't hate men. How many times do we have to answer this?

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  25. #25
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating men?

    Oh, I do, occasionally. Just recreationally. On weekends. It just... it relaxes me, you know?
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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