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Thread: I'm dating a married man!

  1. #26
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    ^^ And that's why, when I was married, when I decided I wanted to be with someone else, I ended the marriage. Yea, I had a sexless marriage, and she raked me through the coals and I have questionable convictions to the god I swore before, but I made a promise to her that I would not do that, and even though she made me unhappy, my word mattered to me.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  2. #27
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by Krazyjane
    and I feel no remorse b/c he's the bad guy. I'm just taking what's available. He's the bad guy, not me.
    Are you kidding me? Seriously STOP lying to yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    You don't feel bad fucking someone else's husband? Available or not, you are still in the wrong; have some respect for the other woman (if not for yourself). You share 50% of the blame. You're just as bad as he is. If I was sitting in front of you, I would fucking bitch slap some sense into you...repeatedly.

    I hope that you are NEVER with someone who would cheat on you. But, being that Karma likes to give you the same you put out there...I'll be waiting for the post where you complain that your "lover" is cheating on you.

    BTW...fucking someone's husband is just bad, bad...but what's even worse is that you know he has a kid...and if you think that this isn't going to affect his kid...you're wrong. Nice job.
    I'm not gonna judge you and i'll keep my thoughts to myself but I think that VG said it perfectly.

    Seraya.
    Last edited by seraya; 11-17-2006 at 08:20 AM.


  3. #28
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    he's having his cake and eating it too, & you're feeding the greedy bastard.

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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka
    he's having his cake and eating it too, & you're feeding the greedy bastard.
    Yeah, and the wife is the cake in this instance. She's the substance...the one who gets to be his first priority.

    You are just the icing KJ. And usually you only lick the icing off the spoon, you don't eat a whole jar of it.

    You deserve more for yourself than being someone's afterthought.

  5. #30
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    But honesty, he's the married one....he's the one who fucked up his own marriage. Temptation is EVERYWHERE. I'm not saying it's ok for Krazy(it's unrespectable) to date a married man, bc she is going to catch feelings in the mean time. He's using her, and he does NOT give a shit about anyone's feelings. She says no now, but if it's continued most def. she will catch feelings.

    Point is... If he really loved/respected his wife and kid, he'd turn down the affair. No one puts a gun to a guy's head to bang a young chic.

  6. #31
    Featured Member DJ Machismo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Get. Out. Now.

    Anything further will only make the situation more complicated and painful in the end.
    Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
    Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

  7. #32
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    ^^ And that's why, when I was married, when I decided I wanted to be with someone else, I ended the marriage. Yea, I had a sexless marriage, and she raked me through the coals and I have questionable convictions to the god I swore before, but I made a promise to her that I would not do that, and even though she made me unhappy, my word mattered to me.
    That's the way it should be. My Ex-Hubby and I had the agreement that if either one of us wanted someone else, we'd separate first. That way, it would save us grief over the other cheating, and it wouldn't mess our kids up.

    I have no respect for anyone who cheats, but even moreso if they're married. They made a promise (unless they have a mutual open-relationship agreement, of course) to be faithful.

  8. #33
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhiannon
    That's the way it should be. My Ex-Hubby and I had the agreement that if either one of us wanted someone else, we'd separate first. That way, it would save us grief over the other cheating, and it wouldn't mess our kids up.

    I have no respect for anyone who cheats, but even moreso if they're married. They made a promise (unless they have a mutual open-relationship agreement, of course) to be faithful.
    Totally.

  9. #34
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka
    But honesty, he's the married one....he's the one who fucked up his own marriage. Temptation is EVERYWHERE. I'm not saying it's ok for Krazy(it's unrespectable) to date a married man, bc she is going to catch feelings in the mean time. He's using her, and he does NOT give a shit about anyone's feelings. She says no now, but if it's continued most def. she will catch feelings.

    Point is... If he really loved/respected his wife and kid, he'd turn down the affair. No one puts a gun to a guy's head to bang a young chic.
    I agree with you, which is why I didn't put the blame solely on her.

    I tried to appeal to her sense of dignity in regards to always being on the outskirts of his affections.

  10. #35
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by DylanAngel
    I agree with you, which is why I didn't put the blame solely on her.

    I tried to appeal to her sense of dignity in regards to always being on the outskirts of his affections.
    Oh, I know and I agree with you.

  11. #36
    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Wow! If you continue dating this guy, you have just become one of *them*! Not only is your relationship doomed, but you are really sparking some bad karma on yourself. I was the child in a situation like this and I know how to hold a grudge, if I would ever meet the "other man," God have mercy on him. It's your fault, and the mans fault. He's obviously a coward if he can't tell his wife it's done. You are just his early mid life crisis that's all. That child will hate you, and his wife will hate you, and one day it will come back to bite you in the ass!

  12. #37
    Featured Member kikiwiki's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    I think I'm the only person that has anything positive to say about this but here I go:
    1. If you're getting something out of it such as sex, money, attention, anything you were lacking when you were single then by all means go for it. Just constantly remind yourself it will be short lived until the next guy you meet.
    2. Stay distracted by dating other people. It will prevent you from falling for this unavailable guy.
    3.He will NEVER leave his family for you. You are not some special rare jewel that he's going to drop his family for. You're not that special to him. If you were, he would have dropped them the minute he laid eyes on you.
    4. He's a liar. Plain and simple. Do you really want to marry a liar? He'll always lie.
    5. You can have fun with it if you are realistic with the future outcomes.
    "Where there is love there is life"-Mahatma Gandhi

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  13. #38
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    ^ WHOA can you like tone down that sig.


  14. #39
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by kikiwiki
    I think I'm the only person that has anything positive to say about this but here I go:
    1. If you're getting something out of it such as sex, money, attention, anything you were lacking when you were single then by all means go for it.
    You cannot be serious here. Telling her to go for it? Uggh...I'm just as disgusted by your attitude as I am by the OP's.

    Making a mistake is one thing but the not feeling any remorse makes me sick.

  15. #40
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    I don't agree with what's going on. OP has some of the blame, but most of it lies with the man because he's the one that's made a promise to his wife and kids. Men shouldn't be allowed get off the blame train for being men- that's some sexist bullshit.

    That said, I get a feeling here that you're getting something out of this- for a lot of people, the "thrill" of cheating is exciting (whether you're doing it or your partner is the cheater) for various reasons I'm not going into.

    Actually, I would quit your job now and find another one before this affair ruins any bridges you may have there- and the possibility of things going down in flames = very high.

    Why all this self-destructive behavior? That's my question. Are you going through something in life where you need drama to feel alive?

  16. #41
    Featured Member Paintbaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Bottom line--I blame the guy. Krazyjane is a single woman. Which means she is free to do as she pleases. HE is a married man. The problem that started the affair is between him and his wife. He is the one who broke vows. It isn't Krazyjane's job to be the marriage police. And it isn't the rest of the world's job to avoid sleeping with the married guy--it is his job to avoid sleeping with the rest of the world. It is HIS actions that would cause the pain to his wife in the situation (choosing to go outside the marriage), not the woman he is doing them with.

    I get tired of the witch-hunt in these types of instances. I don't judge--and no, I have not had a married man. I just think it is ridiculous to speak of karma, when the idea of marriage and the vows taken are an archaic concept, based in religion and a sense of ownership and entitlement. With the divorce rate well over 50%, it is hardly the lofty institution it claims to be--something about it obviously does not work. The concept of monogamy is also a societal -based notion of "moral" behaviour, and obviously an imperfect one at that. Still, people choose to get married, and those that do should take their vows seriously. If this guy's marriage was in trouble, it was HIS responsibility to figure out the problem with his wife. He chose not to. HIS marriage, HIS choice.

  17. #42
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by Paintbaby
    Bottom line--I blame the guy. Krazyjane is a single woman. Which means she is free to do as she pleases. HE is a married man. The problem that started the affair is between him and his wife. He is the one who broke vows. It isn't Krazyjane's job to be the marriage police. And it isn't the rest of the world's job to avoid sleeping with the married guy--it is his job to avoid sleeping with the rest of the world. It is HIS actions that would cause the pain to his wife in the situation (choosing to go outside the marriage), not the woman he is doing them with.

    I get tired of the witch-hunt in these types of instances. I don't judge--and no, I have not had a married man. I just think it is ridiculous to speak of karma, when the idea of marriage and the vows taken are an archaic concept, based in religion and a sense of ownership and entitlement. With the divorce rate well over 50%, it is hardly the lofty institution it claims to be--something about it obviously does not work. The concept of monogamy is also a societal -based notion of "moral" behaviour, and obviously an imperfect one at that. Still, people choose to get married, and those that do should take their vows seriously. If this guy's marriage was in trouble, it was HIS responsibility to figure out the problem with his wife. He chose not to. HIS marriage, HIS choice.
    Definately. You said it better than me.

    Edit: I bet you if it were a married woman who cheated on her husband, the guy who she had cheated with would probably get all cheers for banging a married woman and calling her names. I hate that hypocrisy.
    Last edited by Vyanka; 11-17-2006 at 01:45 PM.

  18. #43
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    I think in an adulterous situation, the adulterer has most of the blame, and the partner has some, but very little compratively. I don't feel it's 50/50. I've been cheated on, and I was never mad at the other woman- she has no obligation to me whatsoever. I sure as hell was pissed at my then-BF. I just hope this cheatin' heart is worth whatever likely drama and bullshit that comes as a result.

  19. #44
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    It isn't so important who is to blame, what is important is the things at risk. A mother, and a little child. I know I would hate myself if I distroyed their lives.

  20. #45
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Rose
    It isn't so important who is to blame, what is important is the things at risk. A mother, and a little child. I know I would hate myself if I distroyed their lives.

    Yep. Blame aside. There are two innocents involved in this too... and one is a CHILD for frig's sake!
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by kittenkat
    I've been cheated on, and I was never mad at the other woman- she has no obligation to me whatsoever. I sure as hell was pissed at my then-BF.
    I've been cheated on too, but I did get mad at the other woman. When I'd see her at my SO's office she would always say, "Oh! You two are so cute together!" and "Hey ****, who's your little fan?" in a sick condescending way. When I found out what was going on and called her (mistake) she flipped out, harrassed my family and finally got a restraining order on me for a bunch of BS she made up and swore to in front of a judge.
    On that first phone call she flat out told me she knew that he and I were in a relationship but she didn't care. When I asked her how she would feel as a woman in my position she said it didn't matter. I couldn't fuck her husband (yup, she's married too!) because he was in prison.

    Anyhow, I think if you would be at all hurt if your partner was cheating on you, you shoulc have some compassion and quit it. It's a really shitty thing to do.

  22. #47
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Rose
    It isn't so important who is to blame, what is important is the things at risk. A mother, and a little child. I know I would hate myself if I distroyed their lives.
    My father has cheated on my mom in the past numerous times. The last time he did, my mom found out. She heard him on the phone having sex with another woman. Some how he sat on his cel. and dialed the house number. Me and my mother heard the whole thing. My mom ALMOST had a heart attack. Her face turned blue. I was so scared that night. I fucking hated him for what he did, I still do. I don't respect him at all.

    Now, who is the one who hurt us here?... HIM. Whether that other woman knew or not, it didn't matter. She's not the problem/the one to blame.
    It's the married person who made the vow, an important promise he made to my mom. He is to me a parasite.

  23. #48
    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka
    My father has cheated on my mom in the past numerous times. The last time he did, my mom found out. She heard him on the phone having sex with another woman. Some how he sat on his cel. and dialed the house number. Me and my mother heard the whole thing. My mom ALMOST had a heart attack. Her face turned blue. I was so scared that night. I fucking hated him for what he did, I still do. I don't respect him at all.

    Now, who is the one who hurt us here?... HIM. Whether that other woman knew or not, it didn't matter. She's not the problem/the one to blame.
    It's the married person who made the vow, an important promise he made to my mom. He is to me a parasite.

    ^^^ I agree with you! The father was the one who made who wreck his family. There are plenty of men who is very faithful to there wives and had always been faithful. It takes two to make a relationship work. If he love his wife he will be trying to make thier marriage work. No he is trying to be with another woman for his selfish reasons.
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  24. #49
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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    What does it matter though really? whoever is to blame is irrelevent because the bottm line is that that they are BOTH in the wrong and that is ALL that really matters not who's fault it is or who's fault is the biggest.

    Sorry but you can't justify fucking somebody else's husband. If that is what you choose to do that so be it but don't kid yourself into thinking that your an innocent party because you're not.


    Seraya.


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    Default Re: I'm dating a married man!

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka
    My father has cheated on my mom in the past numerous times. The last time he did, my mom found out. She heard him on the phone having sex with another woman. Some how he sat on his cel. and dialed the house number. Me and my mother heard the whole thing. My mom ALMOST had a heart attack. Her face turned blue. I was so scared that night. I fucking hated him for what he did, I still do. I don't respect him at all.
    OMG how old were you when that happened? Man, I can only imagine what was going through your moms mind. It's one thing to HEAR ie. gossip that your s.o. is cheating..it's another thing to actually SEE it!







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